Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do.
—National Lampoon
The fox is not sly, he just can not think any slower.
—Bart Maverick

Yul Bruner; “Just don’t smoke” “what ever you do “just don’t smoke”. “ don’t smoke” IMO the best advice ever!

Wikipedia

Prior to his death, with the assistance of the American Cancer Society, Brynner created a public service announcement using a clip from the Good Morning America interview. A few days after his death, it premiered on all major US television networks and in other countries. Brynner used the announcement to express his desire to make an anti-smoking commercial after discovering he had cancer, and that his death was imminent. He then looked directly into the camera for 30 seconds and said, "Now that I'm gone, I tell you: Don't smoke. Whatever you do, just don't smoke. If I could take back that smoking, we wouldn't be talking about any cancer. I'm convinced of that." His year of birth, in one version of the commercial, was incorrectly given as 1915.[55]

you're going to need a bigger boat......
JAWS~

Quotes
 

“He chose poorly.”

This line is spoken by the Grail Knight, played by Robert Eddison, in the film Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, directed by Steven Spielberg (1989).

And his next line: "You chose.....wisely" spoken to Indiana

My old boss and mentor;

- "Hurry up every chance you get."

- "He may be a screwup, but he's our screwup."

Not humorous but I would love to see all of us living by this Thomas Jefferson quote.

"I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend."