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-   -   How do you get your significant other to dance? (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-non-villages-discussion-93/how-do-you-get-your-significant-other-dance-157831/)

outlaw 07-15-2015 06:31 AM

Not everyone likes to dance; especially line dance. Think about it. Practicing a preplanned set of movements, only to repeat it with a bunch of others. What's the point? He may feel like an idiot practicing and repeating it over and over like a dog being trained to do tricks. It's like taking marching lessons. Who does that?

kstew43 07-15-2015 07:39 AM

if you look on youtube.com you can find dance class instructions for most of the dances, line, ballroom and otherwise.

you can take classes in the privacy of your own home. I do this all the time.

looneycat 07-15-2015 07:50 AM

I normally don't dance as it tends to frighten children and small pets, however, with a 'dance floor' surrounded by 4 bars I have gotten up a couple of times....sorry to those whose pets ran away on those occasions!

Villager Joyce 07-15-2015 07:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by outlaw (Post 1087216)
Not everyone likes to dance; especially line dance. Think about it. Practicing a preplanned set of movements, only to repeat it with a bunch of others. What's the point? He may feel like an idiot practicing and repeating it over and over like a dog being trained to do tricks. It's like taking marching lessons. Who does that?

I'm a nondancer who lucked out and married a nondancer. The line dancing strikes me as so robotic. No facial expressions. Just to the left, to the left, to the left.

dewilson58 07-15-2015 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Villager Joyce (Post 1087242)
I'm a nondancer who lucked out and married a nondancer. The line dancing strikes me as so robotic. No facial expressions. Just to the left, to the left, to the left.

Line dancing is the chicken dance, upgraded. I don't do either.

:ho:

LI SNOWBIRD 07-15-2015 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jnieman (Post 1087169)
Before I moved here I thought I would have to learn to line dance because that is what I saw on the video. I don't line dance and never have and a lot of people don't. I wouldn't push him. It's supposed to be fun and if he isn't having fun then ....what's the point of it?

I agree hes needs to have fun too. My wife loves to dance and I do not. I will dance a slow dance with her occasionally. She is more than happy to dance fasts alone, with female friends or with any woman there that would like to dance. it works for us.

2BNTV 07-15-2015 08:47 AM

I've noticed that married women usually line dance, when their SO does not want to dance.

He should try to keep you happy by slow dancing. The dance floor gets more crowded, with spouses.

Maybe he will have a change of heart when he sees that no one is really watching to see how well, or not so well, his moves are.

IMHO - You are fighting a losing battle, as many women, are in the same boat.

A lot of men just don't like to dance, period......but I wish you well. :smiley:

Dr Winston O Boogie jr 07-15-2015 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by outlaw (Post 1087216)
Not everyone likes to dance; especially line dance. Think about it. Practicing a preplanned set of movements, only to repeat it with a bunch of others. What's the point? He may feel like an idiot practicing and repeating it over and over like a dog being trained to do tricks. It's like taking marching lessons. Who does that?

An interesting point. I play in a band that has played on the squares. Whenever bands are going to play one of the squares a discussion of the set list always ensues. The majority feel that the band should do a lot of dance songs and cater to the line dancers. The next time you go to a square, look around and see how many people are dancing, how many are line dancing and how many are sitting listening to the band. I've estimated that only about 20% to 30% of the people are dancing.

Jima64 07-15-2015 09:25 AM

So funny
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by looneycat (Post 1087241)
I normally don't dance as it tends to frighten children and small pets, however, with a 'dance floor' surrounded by 4 bars I have gotten up a couple of times....sorry to those whose pets ran away on those occasions!

You gave me my laugh of the day.

kittygilchrist 07-15-2015 09:50 AM

What is the reason he does not enjoy dancing?
That will determine what if anything can be done to help. If it is fear or low aptitude then private lessons are best so that instruction does not go beyond your learning pace.
If it is lack of appreciation for moving with rhythm and music, that is not easy to acquire.
Often people who are afraid have had a single humiliating incident that comes back whenever they dance, and the anxiety of that makes learning and enjoyment impossible.
In that case, try dancing at home making a very personal and pleasant event of it. In time the pleasant memory will replace fear.

golfing eagles 07-15-2015 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redwitch (Post 1087205)
Or he can sit and enjoy watching you dance. Think that's one of the reasons line dancing is so popular enough here -- no partner needed.

As to bridge, tell hubby he is making a huge mistake. Too many fights caused by couples playing together. The game is too addictive. If he's any good, not that hard to find partners here. However, if you really want to learn, our duplicate club gives free or low-cost lessons for both absolute beginners or those who haven't played in a long time. Shout out if you're really interested.

Sorry, but I have to disagree with your bridge assessment. It depends on the couple. My wife and I started playing bridge together 25 years ago with no knowledge of the game, I actually read Goren cover to cover as a start. We hooked up with some decent players, ditched Goren, learned 2/1 and went to tournaments. Two years later we were life masters, have won regionally rated events at NABC's, and are ACBL certified instructors. We even took 25/26 matchpoints from Bergen and Cohen at the 1993 Washington DC NABC, so we do have some idea of what we're talking about.
If we disagree at the table, it stays there. Any further "discussion" is purely analytic and a learning experience. It's the first thing we teach beginners---love and respect your partner. If they cannot absorb this, which quickly becomes evident, we suggest they take up solitaire. So it can be done.
That being said, don't ever let a game come between your marriage. Also, play with other partners---the kind of inbred hostility that occasionally develops in couples will not be tolerated by a stranger

rosygail 07-15-2015 03:33 PM

Get him some good private ballroom dance lessons. Not Free group classes. You should both go as a couple and I recommend a male instructor. It will help him feel more manly while dancing if he is doing what another guy told him to do. My husband hated dancing and after 8 private lessons he was hooked. We continued to take lessons and dance at least 2 times every week for 10 years till we moved to The Villages. Now no lessons but we are still dancing 2 times a week or more. It's a great way to make friends too!

FlamingoFlo 07-15-2015 04:13 PM

If he is willing to try more lessons go for it but in my opinion I would never pressure my husband to do something he really doesn't want to do. In 25 years I found dancing is the only thing he doesn't want to do. I can live with that. But if you watch the dancing at the square not too many people dance all that well and I don't see them judging others...just having fun.

Shimpy 07-15-2015 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by outlaw (Post 1087216)
Not everyone likes to dance; especially line dance. Think about it. Practicing a preplanned set of movements, only to repeat it with a bunch of others. What's the point? He may feel like an idiot practicing and repeating it over and over like a dog being trained to do tricks. It's like taking marching lessons. Who does that?


Agree.......I tried it and got bored after about 40 seconds of doing the same thing over and over again. Average songs last about 3 minutes and I couldn't wait to get off the floor.

Shimpy 07-15-2015 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr Winston O Boogie jr (Post 1087305)
An interesting point. I play in a band that has played on the squares. Whenever bands are going to play one of the squares a discussion of the set list always ensues. The majority feel that the band should do a lot of dance songs and cater to the line dancers. The next time you go to a square, look around and see how many people are dancing, how many are line dancing and how many are sitting listening to the band. I've estimated that only about 20% to 30% of the people are dancing.

Exactly and why don't the bands understand this? You play fast music or line dance and a few get up to dance. The rest of the audience sets there. When a slow dance song is played the dance floor becomes crowded. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that slow is more popular. I've always believe the bands play what they themselves like to hear and assume the audience feels the same.
We quit going to the squares since we rarely got a chance to dance (slow) because of selection of the bands.
If a band would advertise "easy listening" or lounge singer type music I would bet they would become very popular around here.


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