I am furious

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  #1  
Old 02-20-2011, 11:00 PM
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Default I am furious

My 90 year old cousin lives in St. Petersburg. She was raised in my hometown of Weirton, WV and attended Catholics Schools there. She is a former Marine and was married to a Marine Colonel. They lived all over the world prior to his retirement. She was widowed about 12 years ago.

During the Korean war, he was seriously wounded. My cousin went to her parish priest and asked that a mass be said for him. The priest declined because her husband was not Catholic. Since that time, she has been an on again, off again Catholic. (mostly off)

She became extremely ill about a month ago and was given only a few weeks to live. Last week ,when it seemed that the end was near, her son called the priest in the St. Petersburg parish where she lived and asked if he would visit her in the hospice and administer the "anointing of the sick" rites. He declined, saying that she was not an active member of his parish and would not do it.

What right does a person have to call himself a man of God who refuses to tend to the sick . If he was walking down the street and saw a person dying on the sidewalk, would he check to see if the person was a member of the parish before he would tend to his spiritual needs. What if a devout practicing Catholic from Chicago was in St. Petersburg and fell ill. Would this priest refuse to visit the sick individual?

In her two greatest times of need, the church turned it's back on her.

My cousin died last night. She was a dear soul with never an unkind word about anybody. Some of her last words to me were, "when you speak to the man upstairs, please mention my name."


JLK
  #2  
Old 02-20-2011, 11:28 PM
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So sorry for your tragic loss and the treatment of the Catholic church. I have a similar story about a priest not stepping up to be a man of God at a time similar to your aunts. But I wish not to hijack your thread and full attention must be given to you. I am so sorry to hear about this. My condolences to your family. So sad.
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Old 02-20-2011, 11:31 PM
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I am SO sorry for your loss TH. I too have many issues with the Catholic Church and their politics/policies that I have become aware of since our daughters death in 1993 that I don't want to go into at this time.

I hope that you can find it in your heart to understand that some withing the Church as also "mere mortals". Did your cousin at least recieve last rights from an attending priest?
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Old 02-20-2011, 11:44 PM
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Mere Mortals is right. God was there.
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Old 02-21-2011, 12:22 AM
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First, my condolences on your loss. I have no words for that priest's behavior. It is completely and totally inexcusable. He may claim to be a man of God, but he falls far short of following the word of God and following the tenets of his church. Something tells me that when his time comes, God will find him sorely lacking.
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Old 02-21-2011, 01:54 AM
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So sorry for your loss and feel so very annoyed for the misbehavior of this man of the cloth. I too have had many issues with the Catholic religion which I don't usually discuss since I have found my own way to deal with my spiritual feelings.

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  #7  
Old 02-21-2011, 01:57 AM
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You have every right to be furious.....So sorry that this happened to your cousin....I want to think that this was one priest that is the exception instead of the norm....
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Old 02-21-2011, 02:10 AM
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I share your anger and frustrations. My condolences on your loss. How sad it is that the church wasn't there for your cousin in her times of need. I hope a priest associated with the hospice or hospital was there to support her and her son. Many of God's representatives fail him. I expect he's aware. However, I trust God was with your cousin in her final time of need and that he welcomed her with open arms.

As others have noted, I too have many issues with the Catholic Church. I speak directly to God from my home. I don't need a church building or a priest to be my conduit. God hears me and I'm sure he heard directly from your cousin.

While it probably won't do any good, her family may want to write a letter to the local Bishop and copy the Vatican, noting this church's reps and their shortcomings.
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Old 02-21-2011, 07:11 AM
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I am so sorry for your loss and share your anger and frustrations.

My dear, departed mother attended church in St. Petersburg for years. After many years of living in Treasure Island, my parents moved to a senior community in Seminole. Shortly after, my mother was diagnosed with brain cancer and was receiving in-home hospice. We contacted her parish in St. Petersburg, St. Johns, which she faithfully attended even after moving to Seminole, asking for a priest to come visit for the "anointing of the sick" rites. We were told that she no longer lived in that parish and they would not travel to Seminole. Needless to say, my father, sisters, and I were furious. Several friends of my parents, who were still members of that parish, contacted the priest and we told the same thing. We were finally able to find a priest from a parish in Seminole to come to the house. He came from a party, smelled like alcohol, and burped and passed gas during the entire time he was administering the "last rites" to my mother. Needless to say, we were were not happy. Before he left, he looked at us and said "that will be a $20 donation for the parish". My mother, who could barely speak at the time, told him to "get out of my house". You could see the disappointment on her face that her parish priest made no effort to come see her in her last days.

Talk Host, I personally share your frustrations. I never knew that God had limits within certain parishes. My mother donated thousands of dollars to that parish, which she obviously loved. My family decided to bring her "home" to New York for her funeral and burial. The parish she attended when she lived in New York welcomed her and provided a beautiful funeral mass, even though the priest did not know my mother.

I personally have some issues with the Catholic faith. I have tremendous issues with St. John's parish in St. Petersburg. It is a huge parish but I still do not understand why they could not come to see my mother, a faithful parish member.
  #10  
Old 02-21-2011, 08:26 AM
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TH I am sorry for your loss and thoughts and prayers are with you. I find this thread disturbing as to the behavior of the church. Makes one stop and think about their beliefs.
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Old 02-21-2011, 08:28 AM
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Sorry about that.However as a retired Catholic school teacher,there are many many fine priests. Cannot tell you how many fine deeds over the years. Seems lots of people love to "bash" the catholic church.
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Old 02-21-2011, 08:31 AM
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Sorry for your loss. Furious doesn't even begin to describe a faith that prefers to act as a business vs as a religion.

No wonder there is such a problem drawing men into a calling of being a priest.

Last edited by BlueHeronFan; 02-21-2011 at 08:31 AM. Reason: spelling error
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Old 02-21-2011, 08:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paulandjean View Post
Sorry about that.However as a retired Catholic school teacher,there are many many fine priests. Cannot tell you how many fine deeds over the years. Seems lots of people love to "bash" the catholic church.
I'm sorry you see this as "bashing the Catholic church." Are you saying that this is acceptable or perhaps routine behavior in the Church? Where did this priest get the idea that this is okay? Did he make it up himself, or is it under the direction of the Diocese.

I may be blinded in my current anger, but I can't find any justification for an ordained priest to turn his back on the request of a dying woman. I can't even think of the right words to describe how I feel about his rejection of the request to help this poor soul. Her son and his family will never set foot in a Catholic Church again.

Did Jesus every check parish ID cards?????????????????

For the record, I was raised Catholic, attended Catholic grade school, Catholic high school, served hundreds of masses as an altar boy and even gave serious consideration to being a priest. At this moment, I'm glad I didn't follow through on that.

Is there any wonder why membership in the church is declining, why there is a shortage of priests, almost no nuns and churches closing and consolidating. A church can't grow by turning people away.

JLK
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Old 02-21-2011, 09:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Talk Host View Post
I'm sorry you see this as "bashing the Catholic church." Are you saying that this is acceptable or perhaps routine behavior in the Church? Where did this priest get the idea that this is okay? Did he make it up himself, or is it under the direction of the Diocese.

JLK
TH is not bashing The Catholic church. As many of the posters have admitted their own issues. When my 15 year old nephew (he was not Catholic) was near death, the only clergy at the hospital was a priest. He refused to give last rites or whatever else expect from him (because he wasn't Catholic).
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Old 02-21-2011, 09:05 AM
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My condolences on your loss. As others have said, I find the (in)actions of these men reprehensible. My experiences are completely different. Neither my mother-in-law and father-in-law were active in their parish, yet both received visits from a priest in their last days. I would hope this is a failure of these men rather than a diocese policy. I can think of no reasonable excuse for it if it is policy.
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