[faithfulfrank]

Dear TH,
I am sorry for your loss. please take solace in the fact that her last words were, "When you speak to the Man upstairs, please mention my name". To me this shows a soul seeking her God.

The Bible clearly says those who seek me shall find me. Only God knows the thoughts and intents of the heart. Without getting into a deep theological discussion, I believe your cousin is in the loving arms of her savior, experiencing the joys of Heaven we cannot imagine.

I was raised Catholic, but after much study, etc, during my teenage years found my faith in Christ as a Protestant. I have found that in the end, it is all about Grace. There is nothing we can do to make God love us any more then He does, and nothing we can do to make God love us any less.

In fact, the only time in the New Testament that Christ got angry was with the "Religious Zealots".....moneychangers who turned faith into a business. Sadly, there are those today in every denomination who have done this. Thus the parable of the sheep and the goats.....Jesus himself said many who claim to have lived a religious life will be told by Him, "Depart from me, I never knew you....".

Again, I am sorry for your loss.

Respectfully, Frank

[paulandjean]

Talk host. Saying you are catholic and attended catholic schools,why not get involved and try and change these things. Sitting back and being negative about the church will not slove anything.

[sandybill2]

My condolences to you and your family.

[downeaster]

I am not a Roman Catholic nor am I a particularly religious person as it relates to organized religions. However, I understand the importance of last rites and anointing of the sick to Catholics. If ever they needed the church, that's when they need it most. So, I fully understand TH's anger.

It may help to hear another experience. My late son-in-law was raised by strict Roman Catholic standards. Parochial schools, altar boy, etc. As soon as he reached adulthood he walked away from the Church. In his early sixties he was diagnosed with incurable cancer. While in the hospital and during the final stages my daughter asked a local parish if someone would attend him. Subsequently a priest visited him regularly. He was wonderful. I can not describe how much it meant to him and his family.

That is not my only positive exposure to a priest stepping forward when badly needed.

[Talk Host]

Originally Posted by paulandjean

Talk host. Saying you are catholic and attended catholic schools,why not get involved and try and change these things. Sitting back and being negative about the church will not slove anything.

Shifting the blame to me will not mitigate the inexcusable actions of this representative of the church.

Did the battlefield chaplains check church membership cards during WWII?

[Boudicca]

So sorry to read of your loss. Rest in the knowledge that God will be happy to receive your aunt, and appoint her to one of His many mansions. Sandra

[billethkid]

by some of the "Catholic Church" doing or not doing....it happened to be that particular priest who is specifically to blame in this instance....not the "Catholic Church".

btk

[skyguy79]

Originally Posted by Talk Host

My 90 year old cousin lives in St. Petersburg. She was raised in my hometown of Weirton, WV and attended Catholics Schools there. She is a former Marine and was married to a Marine Colonel. They lived all over the world prior to his retirement. She was widowed about 12 years ago.

During the Korean war, he was seriously wounded. My cousin went to her parish priest and asked that a mass be said for him. The priest declined because her husband was not Catholic. Since that time, she has been an on again, off again Catholic. (mostly off)

She became extremely ill about a month ago and was given only a few weeks to live. Last week ,when it seemed that the end was near, her son called the priest in the St. Petersburg parish where she lived and asked if he would visit her in the hospice and administer the "anointing of the sick" rites. He declined, saying that she was not an active member of his parish and would not do it.

What right does a person have to call himself a man of God who refuses to tend to the sick . If he was walking down the street and saw a person dying on the sidewalk, would he check to see if the person was a member of the parish before he would tend to his spiritual needs. What if a devout practicing Catholic from Chicago was in St. Petersburg and fell ill. Would this priest refuse to visit the sick individual?

In her two greatest times of need, the church turned it's back on her.

My cousin died last night. She was a dear soul with never an unkind word about anybody. Some of her last words to me were, "when you speak to the man upstairs, please mention my name."


JLK

JLK, I'm so sorry for your loss. My wife also had a negative experience many years ago with a priest when her mother died. Heaven knows that I'm not a religous man, but it's a shame that the actions of a relatively few have to reflect on an entire religion.

If you would please provide me with the names of both your deceased cousin and her pre-deceased husband either here or in a PM? I have a cousin in Alaska who's a priest and also a priest freind in Staten Island who is specially trained in Cannon Law. I would like to send both of them a copy of your posting, if that's alright with you, and ask both of them if they would include both your cousin and her husband in their prayers at a future mass.

[Jhooman]

Dear TH

I'm so sorry for your loss and the loss of your faith in the Catholic Church.

Many years ago I lost my Mother and Sister in Jonestown. My Mother and Sister refused to see me for five years before their deaths because I did not believe in their faith. For many years I had distain and resentment for all churches. Now I look at these organization differently, they are run by people who are so human and not perfect.

Currently I have a wonderful relationship with my God of my understanding. I need to reduce my expectations of others and somehow I feel better. Please know I'm so sorry for your experience TH, but I believe your Cousin had a relationship with her God and she is at peace.

[ijusluvit]

I believe religion is about faith. For Christians, Jesus said "If you believe, you will be saved" It sounds like your cousin believed.

I studied for the priesthood for years, but left the seminary before receiving holy orders. I left because I struggled with my faith. I believe more deeply today, but I'm still not there yet. The mysteries and seeming illogic of Catholicism, (and maybe other religions too) is daunting. The sacraments of the church, including the anointing of the sick and dying, are external rituals, meaningful and comforting, but not essential for salvation. My faith wavers because I know I would always fail to measure up to what Jesus would ask of me as his representative. There is no greater challenge than knowing you are imperfect and trying to be perfect anyway.

All priests fail in many small ways, some spectacularly. But nothing humans do is an indictment of the religion, it is only proof that we humans often fall short of meeting this "test" on earth.

As you grieve, perhaps you also know that your cousin was a very good, christian person who did not need the external sign of a sacrament to be assured of a place in heaven, and that you can take comfort in that.

[graciegirl]

I am sorry that you have lost your cousin. It is very hard to let someone near to us go.

I pray that you will be comforted as time passes.

[ajakk]

TH

Sorry for your loss, what the priest did was reprehensible.

[SALYBOW]

Originally Posted by nkrifats

TH I am sorry for your loss and thoughts and prayers are with you. I find this thread disturbing as to the behavior of the church. Makes one stop and think about their beliefs.

I was concerned when I read you were made to stop about your beliefs. At times like this we tend to hand OUR CHURCH over to the priests as if it was theirs. It is not, it belongs to all God's people. The clergy is made up of mere mortal men. As with any group of humans there are good ones as well as bad ones. This one was at least having a very bad day. This behavior should never effect our beliefs in God because he/she was not involved in this, a person was.

As a hospital chaplain I have seen many clergypersons in action. Some were horrible IMHO, but most were good to absolutely beautiful. I have witnessed Annointing of the Sick rites which brought me and the family/patient to tears due to their beauty.

I am so sorry that this happened. It was inconscienciable. Yes, it is true that in times of great happiness or stress people turn to the churches even when they have not been terribly active before that. Perhaps the priest was over worked as most of them are but this story as we are hearing it here, is truly sad.

We need to lift the people involved up to the Lord for healing of pain, grief, and anger. We need to lift our clergy persons up as well. I know I will do so. This story really increases my desire to be the very best chaplain I can be to people in hard times.

[paulandjean]

WWII "What" ??????????????

[pooh]

TH, I'm so sorry for the loss you and your loved ones have suffered. I'm sure your cousin is once again whole, happy and rejoicing. May God help you replace your feelings of loss with joy when you remember her. I also pray that this priest be granted the compassion and understanding for loss that we all face one day. May he be reminded that this is his calling and tending to the sick is what he has pledged to God to do.