LEAVING THE FAMILY

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  #1  
Old 01-23-2008, 05:00 PM
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Default LEAVING THE FAMILY

We are snowbirds from Long Island I want to move to TV full time
My wife says we can't leave the grandkids and the rest of the family
Anybody else have this problem and what did you do about it :dontknow:
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  #2  
Old 01-23-2008, 05:09 PM
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Default Re: LEAVING THE FAMILY

BSLINY,

This topic has been brought up once before , mabe someone can help you out and tell you where to find it.

We are in the throws of making the same decision right now. It is difficult Iknow. Hubby does not want to leave the grandkids, I say let them visit us often and we can take them to Disney!

This might not be a good thing to bring up but in a few years the grandkids probably will not give a hoot about being with us too often so we have to be a ittle selfish in our thinking. I think we have to take the good years we have left and make them worthwhile for us. I admit, I would miss them terribly and I repeat this is a very difficult decision. Thanks for throwing this out there, Ill be interested in hearing others comments.
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  #3  
Old 01-23-2008, 05:14 PM
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Default Re: LEAVING THE FAMILY

I can fully understand how your wife feels, however she needs to realize that the kids and grandkids have their whole lives ahead of them and that you two have worked your whole lives to enjoy the remaining healthy years. I have no doubt that living on Long Island is expensive and that your quality of life would actually improve in TV. That being said, remember now that in TV you might see more of them than you want ;D. Disney is not far, along with all the attractions for visiting family right here in TV. The taxes have to be much less than your suffering under in LI so sent the family plane tickets with the savings ;D
Hope it all works out for you
Handie :joke:
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Old 01-23-2008, 06:14 PM
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Default Re: LEAVING THE FAMILY

BSLINY:

I can relate to your wifes concern. I wrestled with the decision for over 3 years, while hubby waited patiently.
I could not justifiy leaving my 2 grand boys ages now ,7 and 2. But as Nonie said, it is our time now and the kids will visit often, and soon they will have other things to do and lives to lead. I finally decided that I could fly home if I was in need of some time with the guys. We have set up a web cam and once a week I get to see and talk to the boys. I was home over Christmas, will have them in April when they visit for a week. Also, I plan to spend 6 weeks next summer in NH with them. So, we don't have the day to day contact but will see them often despite being 1500 miles away, and I am adjusting .Hope my circumstances will help.
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Old 01-23-2008, 06:18 PM
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Default Re: LEAVING THE FAMILY

Here is a past thread that developed on that subject.
http://talkofthevillages.com/smf/ind....html#msg10031
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Old 01-23-2008, 06:37 PM
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Default Re: LEAVING THE FAMILY

When the grand kids get older, they become busy with their own activities and it gets to a point that if you want to see them, you go visit. Holidays are different and they'll come our way. In our case, it will mean driving a little longer to visit and then the draw of Disney will I'm sure bring them down often.
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  #7  
Old 01-23-2008, 07:29 PM
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Default Re: LEAVING THE FAMILY

our kids are in college and will scatter anyway as both are very independent.
Our plan is to home-base in florida and visit them, no grandkids to consider yet

good question
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  #8  
Old 01-23-2008, 07:36 PM
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Default Re: LEAVING THE FAMILY

We wrestled with the same question, and that led us to the decision to be snowbirds. We haven't moved anywhere yet, but have a condo up north near the grandkids (2 1/2 yrs and 10 mo), and have a house in TV.
We would not have purchased in TV if I couldn't assure my wife that anytime we missed the little ones so terribly we could just go north and I am pleased with the idea that any time we get sick of the kids we can go south!
I agree that in a few years the little ones will barely say "Hi Grandpa" as they bolt thru the house to play with their friends, but in the meantime they are very enjoyable! Once they've grown, I'd bet we'll become full timers in TV.
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Old 01-23-2008, 08:19 PM
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Default Re: LEAVING THE FAMILY

Eventually the kids (now, adults themselves) scatter to the winds. Mine literally span the globe right now. Grandchildren are no different.

My spouse and I decided the best thing we can offer is the knowledge that we are not dependent upon the kids, shall not be a burden to them, and demonstrate stability and security. They know where we always are, and that in itself is security.

What we like is the fact that family can visit TV and see a place where folks are still civil to each other (for the most part!), neighbors act neighborly, community action is not a political buzzword but a reality, and that God and Country are not alien terms. If they can see that folk still live like that, then we're providing them a gift of what life used to be for us when we were young and can still be today. Unfortunately, places like this are disappearing from the landscape.

Do my kids need me? Depends on how you define "need." The question is really whether parents need the kids rather than the other way around.
  #10  
Old 01-23-2008, 09:40 PM
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Default Re: LEAVING THE FAMILY

Our grandkids live in all different states. They all love to come and visit. They range in age from 20-2.
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Old 01-23-2008, 09:56 PM
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Default Re: LEAVING THE FAMILY

SteveZ

You have brought up a terrific point regarding the quality of life in TV and what a great example it is for our younger family members.
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  #12  
Old 01-23-2008, 10:03 PM
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Default Re: LEAVING THE FAMILY

I dont believe it is a question of self gratification as much as it is the realization that children and grandchildren lead their own lives just as we did. We did not have grandparents involved in our childrens everyday lives but they did visit often and the children knew they had grandparents that loved them.

I would have never expected my parents to give up doing what they wanted in their senior years to accomadate us. After raising us they deserved their own lives to do and be exactly where they wanted to.

But as you said, everyone looks at this differently.
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  #13  
Old 01-23-2008, 11:30 PM
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Default Re: LEAVING THE FAMILY

I guess the decision can be made quite simple when the children and eventual grandchildren live in all parts of the country. If that is your case then you might as well live where you want and visit or have them visit. If you're the type of family that you still live within 40 miles of each other than the decision can be more painful.

My three kids (no little ones yet :'() live in three distinct areas so the decision is an easy one.
  #14  
Old 01-23-2008, 11:40 PM
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Default Air Fares To New York Are Cheap

We just got back from our niece's wedding in New York. With a little advanced planning we had no problem getting back and forth for less than $400 for the two of us.

Our kids are in the Chicago and Detroit areas and we've been back and forth there as well, also for less than $400. We even flew north for a family Thanksgiving at our home in southwest Michigan, although that was closer to $500 than less than $400.

With the lower cost-of-living here, you can easily afford trips back north to see the grandkids for important events.
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  #15  
Old 01-24-2008, 12:54 AM
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Default Re: LEAVING THE FAMILY

Very hard decision but we made it and bought a home in TV. We have 9 grandchildren, the furthest being 10 miles away. Pizza is every Friday night at our house for whomever comes. Thus a very difficult decision. We are very close. But I've been raising kids from the age of 20 and I've finally resolved maybe my husband and I should enjoy. My husband has promised I can come back whenever I need a "kids/grandkids fix" and one of our kids is making room for us to stay with them when we do. I sure hope that is the decision we will love. Life is too short not to enjoy the retirement years. I'm ready for some fun.
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