Funnier than a one legged man in an a_s kicking contest.

As nervous as a gerbil in a Key West Pet Store

OH did I hear that one from my beloved folks.

You can't judge a book by it's cover

Not really all that old, but apropos

IF YOU BUILD IT THEY WILL COME.

"Fish and visitors stink after three days".
Ben Franklin

Would you like some cheese to go with that whine.

Smile and the world smiles with you. Cry and you cry alone.

Some people said: I couldn't care less.

Others said: I could care less.

You want a knuckle sandwich?

Act like you belong.

The reward for good work is more work.

She's full of **** and vinegar.

Danny Thomas on his show.

I never did see a board that didn't have two sides.

I've had worse places than that on my eyeball.

Because I'm your mother and I said so. (I gave my mom a picture of a mother hen with her hands on her hips talking to her brood of chicks in front of her that says "Because I'm The Mommy That's Why". It hangs in my laundry room now.

I don't know if I'm ridin', walkin', washin', or hangin' out.

Go pick me a switch. (Hated that old elm! Sure kept me in line, though.)

It's about time! What'd they have to do....slaughter that cow first? (What my dad would say when I'd gone out for a hamburger with the gals.)