And some people still hold those feelings even if they act politically correct in public. I was in the waiting room of the doctors office waiting for my hubby and a older white man came in and sat down to wait for the doctor to squeeze him in as he didn't have an appointment. He started talking to me about all the things going wrong with the country. Kept saying I know I shouldn't say so but... and then said and now there are not enough real white people being born with all the intermarriage. I turned and said boy you really have caught a bad case, I doubt the doctor can cure you of such ignorance. At which point my Hawaiian/ Japanese husband came out and we left. The guy is in for a big shock as the doctor on call was Dr Lee.

People like this will never change; they're not even embarrassed by such remarks. I am appalled at the number of outright racist remarks I heard here in TV in the last months of 2012 and continuing today; I foolishly and naively thought that this had disappeared—supposedly like the dodo—at the time of the civil rights movement back in the '60s, but I guess the dodo is alive and well, even if ignorant (excuse me, "iggorant"...).

I'm sure there are plenty of people who still hold old attitudes, but I don't hear very much of it at all around The Villages. In fact, when I do hear something, it is rare enough to shock me. It tells me all I need to know about the speaker.

My Ukrainian and Italian parents were not at all bigots............
My mom was even ahead of her times, being both ecumenical and not rigid, bit free spirited ......which allowed me also to think freely.......
Going to public school also helped in that respect.....

However, I'd say the more insulated isolated Polish inlaws were most definitely like Archie Bunker, etc. when I met them in 1962......

When we were young parents, I noticed that the generation before us were still racist and bigoted and would make embarrassing comments in public........like at a mall (these were wonderful elderly neighbors of ours by the way, surrogate grandparents to our children).....however, they were quite loud and vocal if they saw a mixed couple pushing a stroller at the mall.......I'd have to hush them.

Again, our kids were color blind.........and still are.

p.s.
My sister in law made a comment, which to me was shocking at the time, when a relative of ours married a beautiful Malaysian gal, one who was not only lovely but talented and gifted musically plus with a Masters Degree......she was Chinese ethnicity. Had a great career; was kind and just a nice person over all.

The sister in law (whose kids didn't turn out all that great by the way) made the comment: "You all know, don't you....that their children will be bi racial".

This was the year 2001. Not 1950.

I always thought to myself, "What beautiful children they will have together"..........so, go figure.

People are definitely influenced by their past experiences.........

Often, even if nothing untoward occurred to them, they are a product of their generation or their parents' own prejudice toward other races......

WE had neighbors (now deceased) who were like the man you describe.
Otherwise, they would do anything for any neighbor and had hearts of gold. They had been born and bred in Vermont which used to be the whitest state in the nation.....our town was mostly Irish and English and then the French Canadians........

They were obviously prejudiced because they hadn't been exposed to much other than an insulated very small town..........where people worked and rarely left the town......until we people from N.J. and L.I. N.Y. started moving up to Vermont.....in the early'70s (after the hippy invasion of the back to the land movement......the flower children and earth people).

Once, when we had come back from two weeks in Florida (younger, in our 30s) my husband had been doing some yard work and was sitting to rest at the back picnic table.........our above mentioned neighbor, with the heart of gold, called me on the phone to tell me "Oh.......oh.....you better look out your back window........there is a big black man sitting on your picnic table). It was my Polish husband with a dark "tan" from Florida.
That's when we used to sunbathe.......ha ha.

I knew he didn't mean any harm.........it was just his generation.

Our N.J. cousin had been "beat up by black kids while a teenager in high school" and up until his own daughter's wedding several years ago, had a terrible prejudice because of his experience as a kid............then, he had to tell off his own mother and mother in law who hadn't been warned that the bridal party (all friends of the Swedish German groom) were going to be the ushers and bridesmaids.......the guys from his basketball team in North Carolina.........) The two grandmas were not mannerly shall we say when they saw everyone walking down the aisle......but loudly vocal.

So, it isn't just Paula Deen.........it's generational. They are dead now.

Our cousin had a change of heart when , after a long time coming, he realized they were really good friends to the couple.....and nice folks.

His wife changed her biased ways after getting a job in a community college where the majority are recent immigrants.......from all over.
Again, state of New Jersey. Had been raised in insulated, isolated Polish Catholic school through high school and neighborhood.

The key phrase in your 'argument' was proved innocent. Those boys were innocent and said so before, during and after the investigation. These were Paula's own admissions not some possible charge against her. If you're in the spotlight and reap the rewards of same then you are subject to higher scrutiny and pay a deeper price than us average folk.

Thank you so much. Most folks opinions of my posts have about the same significance as a fart in a tornado; however, I have always appreciated your views and posts. :beer3:

Just googled the transcript of her deposition and read the entire thing. I needed to do this in order to form an unbiased opinion. Paula has no idea that what she said is so wrong on many levels. These feelings are so entrenched in her that she does not see that there is a major problem/flaw in her thinking.

I agree with you; however, please consider where she came from and where she is today. I feel confident she regrets some choices in her past yet, is sincere in her intent to improve. I can witness how hard it is to go against upbringing and your family comfort zone. I would embrace her journey before that of someone who would say they never had a racist thought.

But her brother's "plantation" wedding is not so far into the past. She defines the waiters that she saw in the other restaurant as "fine, middle-aged gentlemen" which, to me, indicates that they are fine because they"know their place." How could she possibly know anything about them by just seeing them in their place of employment? And she excuses her use of the "N" word many years ago by saying that she had been held up in the bank. A thug is a thug is a thug no matter what their skin color, yet she felt the need to define them in that manner.
I am not a young person any longer and certainly knew my parents feelings very quickly when it came to the races. Yet I was able to reject their feelings on this matter when, one Sunday, a black family joined our church and everyone was up in arms about it. The attitude just never seemed very "christian" to me even as as a youngster.
And, no, I don't tell racial or sexist jokes about anyone as it is too easy to turn the tables and have things become ugly very fast.

She called her black busboys "My little monkey's" and said she likes to keep the "light skinned negroes in the front with the customers and the darker ones in the back" according to the NAACP lawsuit.

Wow...no wonder she's toast!

And you believe everything the naacp says?

Well gee ... Why would the woman apologize? Do you believe every apology people make? There is plenty of smoke and fire here.

AND...she says she thought it was OK to tell racists jokes because most jokes are about blacks, Jews or rednecks. Later she added Mexicans and someone else (?). Piece of work....can't blame that on her southern heritage and upbringing.

I agree. She's 66, maybe she should just retire and consider moving to the villages!

and open a restaurant !!! yea

Actually, no, I don't

That allows dogs on the patio. :pepper2::evil6::popcorn:

There is a little bit of bad in the best of us and a little bit of good in the worst of us.


There are degrees of bad and good.

There is wrong and REALLY wrong. There used to be mortal and venial sin when we micks were younger, I mean Catholics.

Old habits die hard.

None of us KNOW her, she may be just not terribly umm sophisticated or she may be mean as a snake.

Hopefully, we are all changing and growing and learning over time. Hopefully.

Maybe I can learn something from this mess.

I think some of us would prefer she move somewhere else.

Well said.

I want to know why after all the years Lisa Jackson (btw, a white woman) who was a Mgr. for Paula Deen, decided to sue her now? Hmmmm.... I'm also wondering if the comments she made were so horrible, (if she did make them to her black employees) why didn't they come out and sue her instead of the white woman mgr.??? I smell a conspiracy here between alot of people that worked for PD. "Those without sin, cast the first stone"

To all the people wondering why it's okay for blacks to use the N word but not okay for whites to use it... I can call my brother a useless, lazy jerk, but YOU better not call my brother that. I'm sure there's a name for that condition, but I can't come up with it. Family loyalty comes to mind, or blood being thicker than water.

(And my brother was not a useless, lazy jerk.)

When my husband was a chef at a very well known hotel , there were 2 black cooks there (who were friends) & always conversing back & forth w/each other and constantly would make comments like, you're a "field-ni--er" and " you're a "house ni--er". No one in 20+ yrs of their employment ever filed any lawsuits, (btw, it was a union hotel) !! It's ok to say anything to your own race, nationality,etc, etc. But , it's NOT ok for someone who the remarks are not even directed to, to run to a lawyer w/the motive to make $$$$$ ????

For the supporters of Ms. Deen, take the time to read her deposition. Her words are not pretty when read and, as has been said, she is clueless as to what she is saying, which is really sad. For the detractors, read her deposition and pity the fact she really does not understand how ugly those words were and are. I've known many people like her, including my former mother-in-law (for whom the best thing I could say is she raised a wonderful son).

I don't understand bigotry, stereotyping. As I said, I've seen it and I've seen the ugliness caused by it. I still have occasional nightmares from seeing the results of a lynching when I was around 7.

My father was a Southerner and, even worse, a hillbilly to the core (Harlan County, KY). He joined the Army underage, under-educated, bigoted as any person could get. While in the Army, he got his Ph.D., died as a full bird. He quickly learned his beliefs were dead wrong. I'm not convinced that his core ever really believed that fact (it is hard to ever leave your childhood beliefs totally behind) but there's no question he worked hard to have those beliefs stop with him.

He worked very hard to make sure his children did not have those prejudices. We were taught that any word that denigrated another was not acceptable. We were taught to judge a man by his deeds, not the color of his skin. I don't think this was always easy for him but he felt it was the right thing to do.

There is no way he would have ever used the words Paula Deen did in his home or in public. He would not have wanted a plantation-style wedding for me. He would have been thrilled that our best man was Scotty (a tall, incredibly dark-skinned man who had all of the virtues my father admired). He would have welcomed Harvey, our groomsman (a very short Puerto Rican), into his home. He would have thought Sherry, my bridesmaid (a tiny Japanese girl), was stunning. Strangely, I never thought there was anything unusual about the choices my husband and I made for those we wanted to actively participate in our wedding. Sadly, his mother did and commented quite vocally about those choices (she was Polish from a small town in Pennsylvania). His mother is a Paula Deen -- people should know their place and stay in it but never would that be said in public. UGH

Did anyone watch Paula on Today, this morning? You had to feel a little sorry for her....kinda, but she denied ever, EVER, using "that" word except that one time 30 years ago in the bank. She said she was not raised to be racial or prejudiced. So, basically, she took the one thing that people have used to defend her and tossed that out the window. Matt tried to question her about having said she used the word and now saying she had never used it (1 time only). He didn't get a real straight answer, just an avow that she NEVER used it, so there goes the "at least she told the truth" theory.

Bless her heart, at the end she even said "I is what I is". Good grief!! Someone get her a better PR firm....LOL

I think she's probably toast. Oh well, she can write a book about the experience and make the talk show circuit. She'll be fine, but a lot of employees will suffer. That's a shame.

Interesting story - but what does it have to do with what Deen said?

The bottom line is Deen is a media product and she sells her brand.

The media are now cashing in on her by continuing to milk this cow dry. We would not even know about this story if that were not the situation.

No we are not
 

I cannot judge your upbringing, but in my home there was absolutely no question that the holding of bigoted thoughts or the use of any language which was derogotory toward another race, religion, or nationality was completely unacceptable. Many people, including many posters on this thread, who had more exposure to bigots than did I have managed to overcome their upbringing and see those beliefs as abhorent. If Ms Deen made these statements 30 years ago, that would be 1983. She would have been in her mid-30's and you can be quite sure that all Americans knew that the use of the "N" word in 1983 would be extremely offensive to those who didn't share the same bigoted beliefs.

When I saw her face on the Today show, it reminded me so much of Jimmy Swaggart and those crocodile tears.

http://www.libertyadvocate.com/Judgin1.jpg

http://1-ps.googleusercontent.com/x/...MuisvmiN6m.jpg



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If this Deen woman is such a repugnant racist, why are y'all watching her now that this is known? The media people who created her and the competitors who are now milking this story to death by having the audience glued to "the unfolding DRAMA" are laughing all the way to the bank!

Is it because Matt Lauer and the other talking heads didn't have anything else of substance to talk about? Or is it because their other stuff was just of too little interest to viewers like us?

You seem to have lived a very exciting life - you should really write a book about your experiences. Did you see the lynching (at the age of 7 ) or just the results of it ? I have some close friend from the rural area of Kentucky and would never think of calling them "hillbills" Urban Dictionary: hillbilly
Urban Dictionary: hillbilly
Often used as an insult and racial slur against White folks who live in the country
But sometimes we all make mistakes about being politically correct.
Would I be correct if I stopped your services because you called someone else a "H-------"

She was a disgrace...I love those apologies that start out with..IF I OFFENDED ANYONE..
Really ..another star power person who thought she was above it all.

" I is what I is" ??? I see Hooked on Phonics worked for her!

Saw the results.

My father called himself a Kentucky hillbilly to the day he died. He was proud of those roots and proud of what he had accomplished. My grandfather was sheriff of Harlan County, Kentucky. My uncle was the town mortician, my aunt a head nurse. Two other uncles were coal miners. All the men were moonshiners. I do not nor have I ever called anyone other than a family member a hillbilly.

I've never said that I believe Paula Deen should be fired for what she said. Personally, I think everyone should be able to choose to buy her products or not, to watch her shows or not. Her sponsors have the right to decide whether to use her as a spokesperson or not, but I'm not convinced they made the right decision.

I do believe she is more prejudiced than she knows and has little understanding of how denigrating some of her words were. From everything I have heard and seen of Ms. Deen, she is a charming, warm person. I have not seen her interviews since this whole mess started. I did read her entire deposition and did flinch at some of her comments.

I've heard some very discriminating "jokes" regarding blacks and slang expressions from "so-calledcomrdians" that earn big bucks from all kinds of entertainment enterprises and are populated by people of all races who pay $$$$ to listen to their vile jokes. How do they get away with it? What difference are they when compared to PD?! C'mon now.... let's get real....

Unfortunately for her(PD) suffers from a bad case of "foot in mouth desease" If she had hired a good profrssional public relations specialist early on , I suspect she would have fared better with the press and others. Most of us have indulged in these gaffs in our past but understand that a quick heart felt apology ,early on, not a sobbing somwhat ingenuous appearing pitty party works better, The press is hoping that you will make a slip and PD does quite frequently. another example" I is what I is" . If I were of African heritage (at this time in our history) I would think that this phrase was mocking me.

Please Paula get some help

Target just announced it will phase out all Paula Deen products. Add Target to the list which includes Wal-Mart, Home Depot, and many others. Her sponsors are paying attention and are throwing her under the bus.

No it's because she is a real life train wreck ... We all love us some real life train wrecks. This is a good one happening in slow motion.