[senior citizen]

Originally Posted by TrudyM

And some people still hold those feelings even if they act politically correct in public. I was in the waiting room of the doctors office waiting for my hubby and a older white man came in and sat down to wait for the doctor to squeeze him in as he didn't have an appointment. He started talking to me about all the things going wrong with the country. Kept saying I know I shouldn't say so but... and then said and now there are not enough real white people being born with all the intermarriage. I turned and said boy you really have caught a bad case, I doubt the doctor can cure you of such ignorance. At which point my Hawaiian/ Japanese husband came out and we left. The guy is in for a big shock as the doctor on call was Dr Lee.

People are definitely influenced by their past experiences.........

Often, even if nothing untoward occurred to them, they are a product of their generation or their parents' own prejudice toward other races......

WE had neighbors (now deceased) who were like the man you describe.
Otherwise, they would do anything for any neighbor and had hearts of gold. They had been born and bred in Vermont which used to be the whitest state in the nation.....our town was mostly Irish and English and then the French Canadians........

They were obviously prejudiced because they hadn't been exposed to much other than an insulated very small town..........where people worked and rarely left the town......until we people from N.J. and L.I. N.Y. started moving up to Vermont.....in the early'70s (after the hippy invasion of the back to the land movement......the flower children and earth people).

Once, when we had come back from two weeks in Florida (younger, in our 30s) my husband had been doing some yard work and was sitting to rest at the back picnic table.........our above mentioned neighbor, with the heart of gold, called me on the phone to tell me "Oh.......oh.....you better look out your back window........there is a big black man sitting on your picnic table). It was my Polish husband with a dark "tan" from Florida.
That's when we used to sunbathe.......ha ha.

I knew he didn't mean any harm.........it was just his generation.

Our N.J. cousin had been "beat up by black kids while a teenager in high school" and up until his own daughter's wedding several years ago, had a terrible prejudice because of his experience as a kid............then, he had to tell off his own mother and mother in law who hadn't been warned that the bridal party (all friends of the Swedish German groom) were going to be the ushers and bridesmaids.......the guys from his basketball team in North Carolina.........) The two grandmas were not mannerly shall we say when they saw everyone walking down the aisle......but loudly vocal.

So, it isn't just Paula Deen.........it's generational. They are dead now.

Our cousin had a change of heart when , after a long time coming, he realized they were really good friends to the couple.....and nice folks.

His wife changed her biased ways after getting a job in a community college where the majority are recent immigrants.......from all over.
Again, state of New Jersey. Had been raised in insulated, isolated Polish Catholic school through high school and neighborhood.

[Russ_Boston]

Originally Posted by Thnonne

I am tired of knee jerk reactions to news reports. Paula Deen admitted to saying something a long time ago and is being vilified for it. Wendy Williams attacks her viciously, on the record, and she should be called to task for that. Paula Deen's network cancels her, and gladly many people have let them know they are going to stop watching that network if they do this. Remember the Duke lacrosse team that was punished immediately before all the info was in and later proved innocent. The media gets a story, runs with it, and before it has been properly researched someone has their life turned upside down. I don't think this is what the founding fathers had in mind when they guaranteed freedom of the press.

The key phrase in your 'argument' was proved innocent. Those boys were innocent and said so before, during and after the investigation. These were Paula's own admissions not some possible charge against her. If you're in the spotlight and reap the rewards of same then you are subject to higher scrutiny and pay a deeper price than us average folk.

[Golfingnut]

Originally Posted by Russ_Boston

Bravo, Bravo Golfingnut.

That might be the most honest heartfelt post I've EVER read on TOTV. I admire your courage.

I'm hopeful that's how Paula feels. Should have said under oath: "Yes that's a word I've used - but I was wrong and I show that now in my actions and my beliefs".

Thank you so much. Most folks opinions of my posts have about the same significance as a fart in a tornado; however, I have always appreciated your views and posts.

[mac9]

Just googled the transcript of her deposition and read the entire thing. I needed to do this in order to form an unbiased opinion. Paula has no idea that what she said is so wrong on many levels. These feelings are so entrenched in her that she does not see that there is a major problem/flaw in her thinking.

[Golfingnut]

Originally Posted by mac9

Just googled the transcript of her deposition and read the entire thing. I needed to do this in order to form an unbiased opinion. Paula has no idea that what she said is so wrong on many levels. These feelings are so entrenched in her that she does not see that there is a major problem/flaw in her thinking.

I agree with you; however, please consider where she came from and where she is today. I feel confident she regrets some choices in her past yet, is sincere in her intent to improve. I can witness how hard it is to go against upbringing and your family comfort zone. I would embrace her journey before that of someone who would say they never had a racist thought.

[mac9]

But her brother's "plantation" wedding is not so far into the past. She defines the waiters that she saw in the other restaurant as "fine, middle-aged gentlemen" which, to me, indicates that they are fine because they"know their place." How could she possibly know anything about them by just seeing them in their place of employment? And she excuses her use of the "N" word many years ago by saying that she had been held up in the bank. A thug is a thug is a thug no matter what their skin color, yet she felt the need to define them in that manner.
I am not a young person any longer and certainly knew my parents feelings very quickly when it came to the races. Yet I was able to reject their feelings on this matter when, one Sunday, a black family joined our church and everyone was up in arms about it. The attitude just never seemed very "christian" to me even as as a youngster.
And, no, I don't tell racial or sexist jokes about anyone as it is too easy to turn the tables and have things become ugly very fast.

[gocubsgo]

She called her black busboys "My little monkey's" and said she likes to keep the "light skinned negroes in the front with the customers and the darker ones in the back" according to the NAACP lawsuit.

Wow...no wonder she's toast!

[BobnBev]

Originally Posted by gocubsgo

She called her black busboys "My little monkey's" and said she likes to keep the "light skinned negroes in the front with the customers and the darker ones in the back" according to the NAACP lawsuit.

Wow...no wonder she's toast!

And you believe everything the naacp says?

[Monkei]

Originally Posted by BobnBev

And you believe everything the naacp says?

Well gee ... Why would the woman apologize? Do you believe every apology people make? There is plenty of smoke and fire here.

[casita37]

AND...she says she thought it was OK to tell racists jokes because most jokes are about blacks, Jews or rednecks. Later she added Mexicans and someone else (?). Piece of work....can't blame that on her southern heritage and upbringing.

[JP]

Originally Posted by Parker

Paula Deen is groveling. I am not familiar with her show, but groveling always seems so....cringeworthy. Just fess up that you were a product of the times you grew up in, that you've grown up and evolved now, and move on. With a little dignity please.

I agree. She's 66, maybe she should just retire and consider moving to the villages!

[nitehawk]

Originally Posted by JP

I agree. She's 66, maybe she should just retire and consider moving to the villages!

and open a restaurant !!! yea

[BobnBev]

Originally Posted by Monkei

Well gee ... Why would the woman apologize? Do you believe every apology people make? There is plenty of smoke and fire here.

Actually, no, I don't

[BobnBev]

Originally Posted by nitehawk

and open a restaurant !!! yea

That allows dogs on the patio.

[graciegirl]

There is a little bit of bad in the best of us and a little bit of good in the worst of us.


There are degrees of bad and good.

There is wrong and REALLY wrong. There used to be mortal and venial sin when we micks were younger, I mean Catholics.

Old habits die hard.

None of us KNOW her, she may be just not terribly umm sophisticated or she may be mean as a snake.

Hopefully, we are all changing and growing and learning over time. Hopefully.

Maybe I can learn something from this mess.