[queasy27]

What is the etiquette for sending thank you notes for baby gifts? How long do people have to answer?

I supervise 15 people at work and 4 of them recently had babies. I sent presents and only one said thank you. Mind you, they are off work on family leave, but I still think they could take 2 minutes to send me an email. I wouldn't expect a written snail mail (I wouldn't do that, myself, these days.)

Same thing goes for birthday gifts -- I send everyone a gift card and only about half of them say thank you. I get notified when the card has been viewed online, so I know they got it.

Most of them are in their mid-20s, but isn't that old enough to be courteous? They're old enough to be having babies! And let me say again, I'm their boss!

We all work remotely so are not in an office together, if that makes a difference.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfQNVE_FY0Y]Bye Bye Birdie - Kids (What's The Matter With...) 1963 - YouTube

[gocubsgo]

I am amazed how the art of writing a thank you note has disappeared. I think over the past 6 years, we have been to 4 different weddings and not received one thank you note for our gifts. Just recently I gave someone a $100 gift certificate for work they had done for me. I had to call them the other day to make sure they received it! They had and said "Oh yeah...I should have called you"! yes..you should have! Geez...

[graciegirl]

Chivalry and etiquette...both the art of appearing nice even if you are not.

Kindness and gratitude, where are those plain old traits?

[Lbmb24101]

It might be the me me me mentality.
Time magazine had a big article about this me me me mentality 2 wks ago.
Last yr our super smart niece graduated from Univ of Chicago and we dearly love her, sent her a sizable graduation check, never got a thank you from her.
All this is very sad....

[billethkid]

each generation has fewer and fewer of the values of the past. The further the generation the complete lack of awareness of a particular issue.

And many social graces were stopped being taught in schools. And many of the new parents never knew either hence a non issue for them and so on and so on.


btk

[njbchbum]

most of us taught our children that they can have anything they want - if they work hard for it - just as we did. for the most part - those kids learned the lesson well. however, when it has come down to teaching that next generation, something has been lost in the teaching of the lesson...

i notice too many children of 'grandchildren age' have forgotten the part about working hard - so now they just expect things to come their way. and some who would be old enuf to be the parents of those forgetful kids are too busy working one/two jobs to give the kids things because they cannot give the kids their time; thus, they give without teaching their kids to earn...

time slips away and before you know it we miss the oppty to share some of life's greatest lessons and values.

[mfp509]

When my great-nieces were too young to write, my niece wrote the thank you notes. As soon as they could write, they began writing their own thank you notes to me and have never missed. They are 11 and 14.

[jblum315]

My two grandgirls have always sent me thank-you's. When they were too little to write, they sent a picture.
My two grandboys, on the other hand, do not know what it is to say thank you. Different styles of parenting, what can I say?

[senior citizen]

Originally Posted by queasy27

What is the etiquette for sending thank you notes for baby gifts? How long do people have to answer?

I supervise 15 people at work and 4 of them recently had babies. I sent presents and only one said thank you. Mind you, they are off work on family leave, but I still think they could take 2 minutes to send me an email. I wouldn't expect a written snail mail (I wouldn't do that, myself, these days.)

Same thing goes for birthday gifts -- I send everyone a gift card and only about half of them say thank you. I get notified when the card has been viewed online, so I know they got it.

Most of them are in their mid-20s, but isn't that old enough to be courteous? They're old enough to be having babies! And let me say again, I'm their boss!

We all work remotely so are not in an office together, if that makes a difference.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfQNVE_FY0Y]Bye Bye Birdie - Kids (What's The Matter With...) 1963 - YouTube

I agree with Gocubsco who answered your question earlier......
We've noticed that the twenty something crowd, who will pour their hearts out on Facebook, cannot send a simple snail mail thankyou card.

Our daughter has taught all of her children to send hand written thankyou cards for all gifts, whether Christmas, birthdays, graduations or whatever....and we always receive charming expressions of their thanks.

However, it is another story for the neices and nephews, etc. who just seem to think thankyous are old fashioned.......I can relate to those who no longer get thankyous for wedding gifts, etc.

I wrote mine out as soon as we got back from our honeymoon.
Now, all the gals are too busy......like two years after or more.
Go figure.

Ditto for baby gifts. I had two babies and wrote out thankyous and did everything else. Nowadays they have so much help and still cannot manage. Just a change in society I guess........

I always sat with ours from when they were little tykes as they wrote out the thankyous........it became an ingrained habit and it is appreciated by all who have gone to the trouble to be thoughtful and send a gift.

I've also noticed that since all of our "elders" are dying off.......our Christmas cards are dwindling............that also seems to be a custom from the past that will no longer be continued by the younger crowd, twenties and such.

I told my husband that I'm sending e-cards for Christmas this year.
Hallmark has nice ones as does Blue Mountain which I use a lot......
I've always purchased Christmas cards and have a lengthy list plus a huge stamp expense.........but it's a tradition.........but with less and less arriving each year......I've come to the conclusion that with my arthritic wrist and fingers, I have a good excuse..........even if I am not in my twenties.

[l2ridehd]

I found a solution for this problem about 20 years ago. When ever I send someone a gift and do not receive a thank you, here is what I do. I wait about 3 months and then I send them a note that says.

I have made a gift giving decision for all future birthdays, Christmas, weddings, anniversary and other occasions where I would send you a gift. I love you dearly but am giving the amount I would send or spend on you to St Jude's Childrens hospital. I know you support that and understand that they need our help and support much more then any of us. They always thank me and truly appreciate the help. Thank you for your understanding.

[billethkid]

Originally Posted by l2ridehd

I found a solution for this problem about 20 years ago. When ever I send someone a gift and do not receive a thank you, here is what I do. I wait about 3 months and then I send them a note that says.

I have made a gift giving decision for all future birthdays, Christmas, weddings, anniversary and other occasions where I would send you a gift. I love you dearly but am giving the amount I would send or spend on you to St Jude's Childrens hospital. I know you support that and understand that they need our help and support much more then any of us. They always thank me and truly appreciate the help. Thank you for your understanding.

I like this approach and will definitely make use of it in the future.

btk

[janmcn]

My niece has always sent hand written notes since she was a little girl. And now at age 43, even though she has a very busy life, she has taught her boys, ages six and nine, to do the same. They send me pictures they draw and little hand written notes, and it means so much.

[Villages PL]

Originally Posted by l2ridehd

I found a solution for this problem about 20 years ago. When ever I send someone a gift and do not receive a thank you, here is what I do. I wait about 3 months and then I send them a note that says.

I have made a gift giving decision for all future birthdays, Christmas, weddings, anniversary and other occasions where I would send you a gift. I love you dearly but am giving the amount I would send or spend on you to St Jude's Childrens hospital. I know you support that and understand that they need our help and support much more then any of us. They always thank me and truly appreciate the help. Thank you for your understanding.

Do you still send them cards on all those various occasions? Would you still get a wedding invitation when they know you're not going to give them a gift?

[l2ridehd]

I do send cards. And have only had one wedding and was invited, but who cares. If they don't want me there because I am donating there potential gift $$$ to St Jude's, then so be it. And if they ever ask me why, I tell them. Usually ends up costing me more anyway, as I am very generous to St Jude's.

[senior citizen]

Originally Posted by l2ridehd

I found a solution for this problem about 20 years ago. When ever I send someone a gift and do not receive a thank you, here is what I do. I wait about 3 months and then I send them a note that says.

I have made a gift giving decision for all future birthdays, Christmas, weddings, anniversary and other occasions where I would send you a gift. I love you dearly but am giving the amount I would send or spend on you to St Jude's Childrens hospital. I know you support that and understand that they need our help and support much more then any of us. They always thank me and truly appreciate the help. Thank you for your understanding.

An excellent idea as Saint Jude's Children's Hospital is a very worthy charity, helping so many little ones and their families.........

However, it might "rock the boat" within an immediate family.........

But, I still remember when some young newly graduated college kids gave all of their relatives a "water buffalo" in Africa for a Christmas gift, by donating to the charity of their choice. We all could write the book, for sure.