[TallerTrees]

This is a great thread. As I read them, I wondered how many on TOTV are on 2nd/3rd marriages who still decided to take a walk on the wild side and NOT get prenup.

[Boomer]

Originally Posted by wiw1819

I never had a Prenup but wish I had when my divorce occurred in 1981. (I'm with you, Kathie!)

I don't agree that the young should not worry about Prenups. My three children
all married for the first time in their mid-30's and well into their careers. My youngest was married 9 months ago at age 38. They all have Prenups and Living Trusts.

Although there was no reason as far as incomes go, they just decided to be on the safe side with the divorce rate what is is today, extensive business travel, etc., etc.

I encouraged it, although sad, in a way, it even has to be considered,

You did the right thing by encouraging it, wiw. Smart kids to do what they did.

This all makes me wonder if maybe the perfect engagement gift to those we love so much, could just be a sitdown with an excellent attorney. Maybe that would be too controversial a gift to give. But it could end up being the best present ever. Long after the china pattern has lost its glow.

And considering that there are so many out there, carrying debt that we cannot begin to fathom, spelling out the financial picture becomes even more important.

And now I really must shut up, before I start to go on and on. Discussions like these are so important.

Boomer

[islandgal]

Boomer, I totally agree with you. :bigthumbsup:

[SteveZ]

Originally Posted by Boomer BeBack

......This all makes me wonder if maybe the perfect engagement gift to those we love so much, could just be a sitdown with an excellent attorney.

How "good" the attorney may be isn't really as important as realizing an attorney represents only ONE party in a contract. Each party entering (or in) a marriage actually has different interests, and the attorney who claims to be representing both will have a first-class ethical problem if either party later contests the agreement - who does the attorney later represent?

The most expensive non-bargain in the world is two parties entering a contract with both sharing one attorney. Have seen it too many times to count.

[Boomer]

Well, I have been looking in here off and on all morning. And it seems that I am posting and I can't shut up, even though I keep saying that I will.

I wrote that silly little thing above about when Boomer met Sgt. Boomer because it's what I do sometimes. And from the clues in that post, it's clear how long Mr. Boomer and I have been together.

But even in a long and solid marriage, I believe that it is important to discuss these things. Although we know that we are in this thing together and that is how it is, there will likely come a time, when one will be left behind. No one ever knows when that sad day could come.

But being Boomer as I am, I have threatened Mr. Boomer and I have said to him, "IF I AM THE FIRST TO GO, YOU MIGHT JUST FIND YOURSELF SO COVERED IN CASSEROLES THAT YOU WILL NOT EVEN HAVE TIME TO BREATHE. BUT I WILL TELL YOU ONE THING. THAT IF THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS. AND IF YOU DO NOT BREATHE LONG ENOUGH TO TAKE THE TIME TO GET A PRENUP. IF THE OCCASSION SHOULD COME UP. I PROMISE YOU THAT I WILL FIND A WAY TO HAUNT YOU. YES I WILL."

I like trusts, but I am not so sure that a trust can cover everything by itself. And while there may be concern over next generation heirs, my main concern is for Mr. Boomer's future if he finds himself on this earth without Boomer to watch out for him.

You see, I have written a guzillion posts on here for some reason and so if anybody ever reads any of them, they may know that the only woman I fear that Mr. Boomer might leave me for is Paula Deen. But that's another story. So it is not likely that I will need a postnup.

Boomer

Hey, SteveZ, thanks.

I just went to hit send and saw the red sign warning that another post had appeared. So I looked at SteveZ's recent post. I had sort of mentioned that have your own attorney thing, mentioned it in Boomer fashion when this started up again yesterday.

But please, please hear what SteveZ has to say. He is saying it flat out. He is saying it so much better. And he is so right. Boomer just sashays around sometimes, even though she knows some stuff.

Thank you SteveZ for telling it exactly like it is.

I am loving this thread. And this stupid computer is still in my kitchen so it keeps calling to me. And believe it or not, I do have work to do today.

I do so hope this talk continues. And I hope that those out there in TOTVland talk to each other about this important topic. Talk to each other in real life.

Boomer Reprise

[Boomer]

I am running around here tonight actually working kind of hard, and while I do that I have the television on in the background. Suze Orman is on right now, yelling, "DENIED! DENIED! DENIED!" at all those people who call in and ask if they should buy really stupid stuff. (Sometimes I help Suze yell at them.) She also gets calls from people about other kinds of financial decisions they are thinking about.

So anyway, one of the calls tonight on the show made me think of this old thread about prenups. The thread started almost a year ago. But the information is not old and so I thought I would throw the topic out there again, in case anybody else might be interested in the discussion.

Boomer

[Cassie325]

First let me say that Suze is my hero!! I absolutely love her!! I do the same thing you do and "help" her yell at the people who call in...silly, silly people!

I honestly think that most people already know the answer before they call her, but want to be yelled at!

Anyway, back to your original thread topic, YES if I were to marry again then there would absolutely be a pre-nup. No if's, ands or buts about it...and anyone that did not agree with that is not the right person to marry.

I need to protect myself because you never know what might happen to that other person. My ex husband was in charge of the finances. I made the money...he spent it. I never questioned anything....just went along my life doing what ever I wanted and never worrying about the money. I knew how much I made and that we had more than enough to live on and save with....

Until the day that I went to take some cash out at the ATM to put in a birthday card for a friend of my daughters...(on the way to the party)...no money in the account!!!! $11.23 to be exact.

This was the beginning of a very long, messy end....

It has taken me 7 years to get my credit report cleaned up because he messed up so badly...everything was in our name...

NEVER AGAIN!

Love is one thing...stupidity is another.

One must protect oneself....

[clyd709]

This is a very interesting Topic and a sbject so many people don't even want to talk about. I remaried after being widowed vor almost 10 years. My Husband has children and I do not have any. I am a firm beleiver that when people remarry that whatever plans were in place for their children or in my case wonderfull nieces and nephews that is the way things should remain. Beneficiaries should not change sort of like the old saying GOOD FENCES MAKE GOOD NEIGHBORS. I have a wonderfull relationship with my Stepchildren and it makes a relationship very good when you have that wonderfull repore. I certainly would not want to be labeled as the UGLY STEPMOM OR AS SOME PEOPLE REFER TO IT AS MOMMY DEAREST. I have some friends who have got themselves into some difficult situations and they have nobody to blame but themselves because they felt when they remarried they should be entitled to everything that is a NO NO. There are so many things that should be discussed prior to Re Marrying and then there will be no surprises and I feel that should include a Sit Down Discussion with the Siblings. As far a a Pre Nup I think it is a wonderfull thing if a person feels that one is needed. I feel truly blessed that I found a good partner the second time around. I dis not rush into Remarrying. I was only 56 when I became a widow and remarried when I was 65. I know life can get very lonely when you are left widowed or divorced at a young age but My advice and only my advide is take it slow and dont jump int a situation where you see there may be conflicts. DONT GET CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENT. I had better stop rambling here and I wish all of you a bery Happy and Blessed Easter

[katezbox]

Originally Posted by TallerTrees

This is a great thread. As I read them, I wondered how many on TOTV are on 2nd/3rd marriages who still decided to take a walk on the wild side and NOT get prenup.

Hi Clyd,

Thanks for BUMPing this thread. I had never seen it before. I am not surprised that my friend, Boomer, started it, however. I think she could be the next Roald Dahl if she gave up on us and started writing for children. OK - don't REALLY want her absent from here, so maybe split her time 50/50.

OK - TRUE CONFESSION time - Mr Katezbox and I do not have a prenup and yes it is a second marriage (for us both) and yes there are stepchildren (on his side only - my children). And if you have read some of my other posts - you will see that yes, indeed, I am a CPA. GADZOOKS!!!!

I am like many of you out there who never thought I would marry a 2nd time. Watch out single ladies, it happens. I swore I would only remarry if I could find a man who would love my kids (then aged 18 and 16) as much as I did. And, good gracious, I actually found him.

Fortunately for me, this is a wonderful marriage. But I should have know better. From personal experience no less - as my dad remarried after my mom passed. When Mr. Katezbox and I bought a home together, we did put some safeguards in to protect me and the kids.

So..... do as I say, not as I did. Talk to an attorney and do a prenup or trust or whatever makes sense in your situation.

A bit red-faced, Kate

Happy Easter all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The Great Fumar]

TRUST ME .....IT WILL NEVER BE A PROBLEM WITH ME .......OR SHOULD I SAY FOR ME....BEEN MARRIED SENSE THE 10TH GRADE AND NEARLY VOTED FOR TEDDY ROOSEVELT .......

BULLY

SHELL SHOCK FUMAR ..