Abby said it right. I have been made speechless by this occurrance. So sorry that Gracie had to deal with this type of bullying. Like all forms of bullying, it shows more about the bully than anything that they write about. Hurry back Gracie.. You, Helena and Sweetie are so much stronger than anyone who would stoop so low. Take a breath and come out with your light shining as bright as ever. Look at all the great people that are attracted to your light.

Love
Joyanne

Hope all these posts bring GracieGirl back.

I was the target of a cyberstalker for maybe 4 to 5 years on the Findlaw message boards from around 2001 through 2005 or so. I know what this is like to lose your trust in people because of someone else's need to use the Internet as a kind of junior high school restroom stall wall with often about as much maturity and consequences you find from whatever is written on these walls. I know the Villages' area restrooms also sometimes have these writings on them so immaturity does not leave with age.

I had been trying to help this Chesterfield VA man ( a defendant in various white collar crime cases) on Findlaw find cases for his court filings and had even travelled to the closest law and University libraries in the St Petersburg-Tampa area to help him out never realizing that this was the same bully who would pretend to be me on Findlaw as well as ape my own posts in a way as to upset me as much as possible.

I even went so far as to complain to my US Representative (of Palm Harbor) about this kind of preying on people. This was while I lived in Palm Harbor, Florida. But, this man even put in a few personal attacks on me after I had moved to the Villages in 2005.

So, I can really empathize with GracieGirl and never fail to question what I put on the Internet and the impact it might have on others.

I hope people will PM GracieGirl and convince her to come back. We need her kindness and joy on TOTV.

Kind of against making TOTV a lot more transparent with people's pictures and the like because some of us have wider presences online that could cause a problem of safety and security if we started posting a lot of personal photos and the like.

If you research a lot of people's posts you can usually tell who is bullying and who is not. Of course, I could not tell who it was who was bullying me on Findlaw mainly because of how angry I became from all the hundreds of smears that lasted years. Other posters on Findaw and interested spectators seemed to get who was doing this to me for so long but they did not have so much emotion invested or spent.

Very insiteful post. I also was singled out a few years back and still have a few attacks but with current monitoring, that is kept to a minimum. It can be very painful, but I am happy I hung in there. Things are so much better now. I hope every one sends Gracie a comeback request.
Lou

I must be naive.
I wondered why this site needed a moderator who closed threads, deleted posts, and otherwise interfered in people's communications.
Then I found the Topix forum referenced by others here, and read some of the postings, and now I understand!!!!

BINGO....... this site used to be very similar. New management has made a wonderful change and has increased membership in the conversations a lot.

Grace, I am so, so sorry you are going through such pain. Gracie was always kind and gracious towards myself....ditto for Sweetie and Helene! I spent night reading this post and TOPIX....VILE TOPIX! spent all morning writing and I lost it.....TOPIX is TRASH! I just saw that I was talked about last April (thats how long since I've been on that site!) and want to clear a few things up. It mentioned I was back on TOTV under many names. I came back as RhondaC because rokinronda was not available. I do not hide. Dear TOPIX POSTER, I had an ART yard sale I posted here....1......yeah just 1 time. Guess that was wrong. As folks read that other site, I want them to know I started MVC because I LOVED TOTV and missed it and the great people!!! (1st ban was for defending the guy who was banned for doing our movie star photos. It was such a fun time here! Then the bans were more and more frequent. Not political, not mean, just not what the owner wanted. 20-30 nice people. He told me to my face on the TOTV cruise "this is a business, I am not here for fun and games" Well ok.....BOY HOWDY!!!! Thats for you Gracie!!!! MVC was viable, kind hearted and fun for well over a year with over 250 members. But, we had trolls, vile trolls!!! Moderator job is NOT FUN! We had monthly themed parties at a rec center and luncheons. I put my heart and soul into it. I also worked full time then and it wasn't easy. It took planning, decorations, music, games, costume parties, etc... Took a summer off as many were headed north and unfortunately the .com wasn't renewed. Facebook was becoming popular and many of us connected there. We were out and enjoying the sunshine, golf, music, etc.... Back to this subject. The TOPIX posts are unbelievable to me. To go to someones home to snoop, then gossip and ridicule and POST nasty mean spirited crap PUBLICLY is the lowest of the low. I was appalled! STAY away from TOPIX, Gracie, and let all this love on this thread help you heal.......it took me months to heal when I was banned for good......for the "I hate trains" post . BTW I still hate trains! People, this world needs KINDNESS, LOVE, and CARING. I try to work at it every day! Have a blessed wonderful day. If you don't have anything nice to say, keep quiet!! PEACE, RR

Sorry--- but this site was never like topix -----maybe the political forum - but that was before your time --- if indeed you did join in 2012--- i think the political forum was closed

You are so right. Even in the days before the political went private there were some lively exchanges..............but never to the extent of the vile posts at topix.

NOT EVEN CLOSE...To my knowledge there was never any bullying. Some confuse disagreeing with bullying which it is not. A dscussion requires two informed sides exchanging viewpoints based on facts at hand or opinions.

I want no part of a board where I am required to agree and worry about disagreeing.

Political had flamers...folks who slammed the board with trite information unsubstantiated and made the entire forum a game of flaming and reporting IN BUNCHES.

Admin was correct to close it AS IT EXISTED.

To me the point is that I think Gracie will return and will not be as trusting as a result of this. The major point to me is that folks who post here on TOTV are those responsible for the vile on Topix...not strangers. They have been blasting folks over there since 2008 and most of it was from folks who post on here today. THAT to me is the thing that bothers me the most

Why don't some of you people who are very close to Gracie get together and get the names of the people who attended Gracies party and start eliminating the names that Gracie and her friends know.
I'm sure after some hard work you can pretty well come up with a name

And then?

As to TOPIX the posters there will self-destruct and that forum will go down inflames unless or until it is monitored.

As to GG and that matter all of us like in golf when golfers behind you are pressing the best thing to do is NOT LOOK BACK. the best for all of us is not to go to TOPIX.

As to the political forum I understand why it was shut down but most of us suffered because of a few. I also wonder how people survive so well remained friends ,etc after having spirited political debates. I listened to my Dad and his friends have knock out drag out fights over political ideology but when the shouting was over they celebrated their friendships and were sincere in their gestures. Perhaps we Americans have lost the knack for healthy political sparring?

One last point this thread explains why many of us just as soon remain a username. I had often thought about going to Crispers and meeting many of you. I am by nature a person truly interested in other people. What happened to GG is the only thing holding me back

Personal Best Regards

Actually I am for at minimum EXPOSING them, but as I have been saying, this is not new and has been going on for years.....certainly not to the extreme vile nature laid on Gracie....but we have posters who go there and have been going there blasting TOTV posters by name.

Not sure how you can stop that, but exposing would be a great cleansing for those on here in my opinion.

I also think that some people confuse sarcasm with bullying. Sarcasm does not come across well in writing--no tone of voice available, no facial expression. Some sarcasm is funny; some of it is vicious. It's hard to tell in print which the poster intended, and sometimes it doesn't sit well.

I disagree with another poster that Topix will self-destruct. Have you ever read the comments of people who respond to online newspapers and NPR online stories? There are people like the Topix posters all over the place, and those forums will thrive.

In fact, TOTV is one of the few forums that is moderated and requires a level of civility. It may be because it's a business and they don't want to drive off advertisers, but nevertheless, it's a lot more pleasant to be a part of.

I guess if I had to choose between maybe a bit too much moderation and none at all, I'd choose the former.

But Bucco's point is well taken... some of the people on Topix are also on here. Beware of the info you put online.

I found the thread Topix on TOTV upsetting especially when thinking about how Graciegirl would view it, but in comparison to what I have seen on many places on the Web, its quite tame by comparison. Just look at the Orlando Sentinel blogs and posts on it about the Villages for instance. The Internet Movie Database is another place which can get rather heated.