[Uptown Girl]

Originally Posted by Barefoot

I agree. Like you, I feel we control our moods and our attitude to life.
I often hear people say "he makes me so mad" or "she causes me so much grief" or "I can't help it, he just makes me lose my temper".
Sometimes we temporarily forget that we choose our behavior and reactions.
Sometimes I need to have a little talk to myself to get back on the right track.

Yep... nobody "MAKES'' us mad. We decide to be mad- and go from there.

I do not like to think we CONTROL our moods and attitudes- suggests to my mind a continual struggle with self.

I believe we DIRECT our moods and attitudes. We give energy to them or let them fade.... as we choose.

[drooney60@hotmail.com]

I was taught that "what goes around comes around."

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by Uptown Girl

Yep... nobody "MAKES'' us mad. We decide to be mad- and go from there.

I think sometimes that anger just happens. How we control ourselves is the issue. I have been shaking with rage and indignation at times but tried to act prudently. I haven't ever smacked anyone or told them off in person face to face. Except my kids. And I thought long and hard before I opened my mouth ...most of the time.

I sure have told some people off on this forum. I am a wuss behind a computer.

I do believe that depression is a real disease as some of us age. A chemical imbalance. Sometimes depression is described as "anger turned inward".


https://www.psychologytoday.com/basi...ssion/symptoms

[Uptown Girl]

Originally Posted by Greg Nelson

The hardest person there is to live with is yourself.

I don't think i would ever say that.

Do you really feel that is so, Greg? Why?

[Greg Nelson]

ask yourself...I do..not always easy...bondage of self is an addiction

[rubicon]

Anecdotes aside the fact is we are all human and we falter that is the human experience. So one may contain themselves often or pacify another often but sooner or later something cracks and to one's amazing they don't even know why because the thing that triggered it was a relatively small issue.

Perhaps I am wrong but the only absolute I acknowledge is death. So if one says to me I am never unreasonable well then that word "never" just doesn't get completely digested . We all kill people with kindness, ignore them, humiliate them for being unreasonable, etc.

[jebartle]

HumanKind - be both

[rubicon]

Originally Posted by jebartle

HumanKind - be both

I truly want to believe but in this day and age there are so many scammers and scams its better to "Trust but verify" everywhere you go. Now that's not unreasonable.

[cromlich]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

I learned a different psychology a long time ago than that which is being taught now. We learned we could change just about any behavior with modification and training and therapy. Now it is believed that some behavior can be changed if you deal with young children but some behavior is innate and that certain personality traits are born with you and may be genetic and even can be imaged. A certain area of the brain of a person who is very "social" is larger than that of a person who isn't..

All those words simply mean that some people have always been nice and sensitive to others and some people have always been selfish and demanding. And most people are some of both.

And some behavior is cultural. We can be taught to say please and thank you even if we are a nasty person and we can be taught to say "Move it" even if we are a nice person by growing up in a certain place.

Then there are the mood modifiers of booze and grass and pills

And there are real issues of pain; emotional and physical. and some folks are living with very difficult people and feel trapped because of their age..or didn't plan well or had something awful happen that they don't have as much money now as they'd hoped.

And some people realize that the end of their life is not as far away as it used to be.

I am very pleased you brought up this interesting (to me) topic. Thank you, Joe..

Absolutely, Gracie! You really covered most of my thoughts. Some people enjoy being miserable. It's sad but oh so true. We can only pray for them. Miracles do happen.

[Villages PL]

Someone said, "The hardest person to live with is yourself." That may be true for some, but not for me. I enjoy my own company; I'm like my own best friend and I'm never lonely when I'm by myself. And I seldom disagree with my goals and lifestyle; I'm easy going and agreeable.

Now a different subject: I don't like to make excuses for people being mean spirited or grouchy but here's a possibility: It's called "displaced anger".

Say someone is being nagged by a spouse to lose weight but they can't fight back because they need to keep peace in their household. So you come along and start talking about "weight loss and health" and they let out their anger on you. They might say, "It's none of your business!!", in all capital letters. There might be a price to pay for yelling that at home but not on this website. That's displaced anger.

And that's just one example as there might be all kinds of issues going on at home. Some people are continually venting on others because there's often no penalty for doing so.

[dbussone]

Originally Posted by Villages PL

Someone said, "The hardest person to live with is yourself." That may be true for some, but not for me. I enjoy my own company; I'm like my own best friend and I'm never lonely when I'm by myself. And I seldom disagree with my goals and lifestyle; I'm easy going and agreeable.

Now a different subject: I don't like to make excuses for people being mean spirited or grouchy but here's a possibility: It's called "displaced anger".

Say someone is being nagged by a spouse to lose weight but they can't fight back because they need to keep peace in their household. So you come along and start talking about "weight loss and health" and they let out their anger on you. They might say, "It's none of your business!!", in all capital letters. There might be a price to pay for yelling that at home but not on this website. That's displaced anger.

And that's just one example as there might be all kinds of issues going on at home. Some people are continually venting on others because there's often no penalty for doing so.

Villages - re: the first topic you address. I'm happy you are so comfortable with yourself - that is a good thing. With all due respect, I hope you have many other friends though, including a best friend. It's not good for us to live in isolation. Humans are social animals. I intend this in a positive way.

Respectfully,

DB

[rubicon]

Originally Posted by dbussone

Villages - re: the first topic you address. I'm happy you are so comfortable with yourself - that is a good thing. With all due respect, I hope you have many other friends though, including a best friend. It's not good for us to live in isolation. Humans are social animals. I intend this in a positive way.

Respectfully,

DB

Hi DB: I don't know if your right about living in isolation based on this thread there are a lot of miserable, unreasonable and just plain mean people here

[dbussone]

Originally Posted by rubicon

Hi DB: I don't know if your right about living in isolation based on this thread there are a lot of miserable, unreasonable and just plain mean people here

Rubicon - you are correct about miserable, unreasonable, and mean people. However I think it is a choice one makes. And they are everywhere. Personally I prefer to make a different choice and be positive, happy and thoughtful of others (for the most part)!

[Villages PL]

Here's an interesting technique that has been used on me a few times in the past: The poster starts out with, "VPL, I'm worried about you." Then, having said that, they proceed to enumerate and speculate as to all the possible deficits I may have in my life.

[HimandMe]

We have all been guilty of less than perfect behavior and the causes are many and varied. For "most" people, leaving aside the sociopaths and psychopaths for instance, behavior is catching. You do this and in my mind I want to retaliate but like others on this forum, I can retaliate in a new way. I can plant a seed of goodness. That too is catching. Note it is not acquiescing but an attempt to create something better and start a new cycle.