[dbussone]

Originally Posted by HimandMe

We have all been guilty of less than perfect behavior and the causes are many and varied. For "most" people, leaving aside the sociopaths and psychopaths for instance, behavior is catching. You do this and in my mind I want to retaliate but like others on this forum, I can retaliate in a new way. I can plant a seed of goodness. That too is catching. Note it is not acquiescing but an attempt to create something better and start a new cycle.

I like how you retaliate!

[redwitch]

You never know what is going on in someone's personal life. They could be in pain. They could have someone ill in their home. Someone could have just hurt their feelings. They could just be natural grouches. So, I always try to cut people who are being unkind some slack. I try to say something nice or humorous to them. Sometimes it works and they relax a little. Returning kindness to bad behavior seems to solve many issues. Otherwise, I try to make whomever they were berating know it was the grouch, not them, who was the problem, feel sorry for the grouch and go on my merry way. Some things really aren't worth the worry.

[Villages PL]

It's more than someone just having a bad day or a bad home life. Some people seem to enjoy harassing someone when they know from experience they can get away with it. We shouldn't be making excuses for troll-like behavior, regardless of a person's home situation etc..

I call it a soft form of bullying. And there always seems to be a ring-leader who recruits others to join in. They treat it like it's a sport but it ends up being more like internet stalking.

Has anyone watched "True crime series"? They have true cases of stalking and the stalker can be a man or a woman. When they start stalking someone, there's nothing the victim can do to appease them. If they are treated nicely they continue to stalk the person. If they are ignored, it often gets worse. It seldom ends well.

[gap2415]

Most people struggling with a bad day or bad year are not stalkers just not as pleasant as they could be. If an attempt of soft rebuff or kindness doesn't work and they still come at you, then it is time to yell "Back Off! You are attempting to intimidate me!" in front of any others and then get help if necessary.

[Cedwards38]

Rich, poor, young, old, whatever creed or color or background.........sometimes we're nice and sometimes not. Who among us has not acted like a jerk at some time and looks back on that action with regret and embarrassment. There are a zillion factors that cause us to either be nice or be mean in a given situation. For the sake of our discussion, let's refer to it as the Assholian Syndrome! There are ways to keep it under control. Reduce caffeine, eat right, exercise regularly, go to the doctor to get fixed when you're broken, take your medications, take deep breaths, try to think nice thoughts, do those things that make your happy, always ask yourself "why did that person do or say that" and sincerely try to understand, delay any reaction for a few seconds, and know that whatever happens at this moment will probably have little consequence on the rest of your life and how you are remembered, so maybe you just smile and let it go.

[Grandfinch]

Originally Posted by redwitch

You never know what is going on in someone's personal life. They could be in pain. They could have someone ill in their home. Someone could have just hurt their feelings. They could just be natural grouches. So, I always try to cut people who are being unkind some slack. I try to say something nice or humorous to them. Sometimes it works and they relax a little. Returning kindness to bad behavior seems to solve many issues. Otherwise, I try to make whomever they were berating know it was the grouch, not them, who was the problem, feel sorry for the grouch and go on my merry way. Some things really aren't worth the worry.

Bingo.

There is a lot of issues older folks have with their own health and issues with the children, neither of which we have little if any control. The ones that are grouchy for no identifiable reason may simply act the way they do to a chemical imbalance, again, without professional help, they are doomed to live a miserable life.

[Villages PL]

Originally Posted by Cedwards38

Rich, poor, young, old, whatever creed or color or background.........sometimes we're nice and sometimes not. Who among us has not acted like a jerk at some time and looks back on that action with regret and embarrassment. There are a zillion factors that cause us to either be nice or be mean in a given situation. For the sake of our discussion, let's refer to it as the Assholian Syndrome! There are ways to keep it under control. Reduce caffeine, eat right, exercise regularly, go to the doctor to get fixed when you're broken, take your medications, take deep breaths, try to think nice thoughts, do those things that make your happy, always ask yourself "why did that person do or say that" and sincerely try to understand, delay any reaction for a few seconds, and know that whatever happens at this moment will probably have little consequence on the rest of your life and how you are remembered, so maybe you just smile and let it go.

If everything is explainable, as you say, is there a point, in your opinion, at which someone should be banned from this website?

What about bullies in school, should schools adopt your philosophy? If a kid is constantly picking on other kids, don't blame him because he probably doesn't have a good home life. Give him a break?

[Cedwards38]

Originally Posted by Villages PL

If everything is explainable, as you say, is there a point, in your opinion, at which someone should be banned from this website?

What about bullies in school, should schools adopt your philosophy? If a kid is constantly picking on other kids, don't blame him because he probably doesn't have a good home life. Give him a break?

No. Words do not hurt me. Say what you want to say and you'll be judged by what you say and how you say it, but I don't want to kick anyone off the site.