[Polar Bear]

Civil discourse can include disagreement on anything and everything. It's fun, educational, hurts no feelings, and helps keep open-minded people grounded and thoughtful.

Trolling is a different beast altogether and has no redeeming value.

The two are usually very easy to distinguish.

[Golfingnut]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

I will summarize my thoughts.

You are a dear sweet fella, Tommy Hannon and if someone sends you a nasty message I will tell the girls to load their squirtguns.

I agree Gracie and I have met Tommy at Crispers where I use my right and Full name.

[Golfingnut]

Originally Posted by gerryann

Diverging from civility seems to be way more common than it used to be on this forum....but as has been said, it's few and far between and usually the same few. It truly makes me feel sad for them..they can't be happy.

[Golfingnut]

Originally Posted by anarick

I enjoy discussions, debates and I can easily accept criticism. However, I have a problem with someone attacking and throwing hurtful comments. Online attacks are unnecessary and immature. We should feel free to volunteer comments or ideas on this forum whether they're given by cyberlinks, pictures or simply worded without having to worry that it will be critically attacked. Gracie is absolutely the most positive person on TOTV and she can cut to size any attacker with charm and wit like no other. Many of her posts have made me feel positive about TV which is a good objective. Don't you think?
Come on folks, can't we all get along?

Keep that thought as you are 100% correct. None of us on here are trying to gush out with unwarranted positive comments. Even we do not want this board to be sensitive to a fault, but:::::::

What I am saying is to be civil, you must try to tone it down when you become aggressive or negative.

Try using words like DISLIKE instead of HATE.
Confused instead of STUPID. etc. etc.

We all know, that being over the top in either direction is not beneficial to anyone and we know that person to person it would not be handled that way. This board gives some the opportunity to be less than civil due to non-accountability. If you tell me that you disagree with my opinion, I promise I will consider yours. If you say I am an idiot for believing the way I do, You have made no viable point at all. That is an argument not a discussion.

It is not the subject that offends, it is the words used to assemble ones opinion in a paragraph. We would still have the now defunct forum if everyone would have been civil with their posts.

[mickey100]

Originally Posted by Villages PL

Ha! Good post, DDoug. That's exactly what I was wondering: Why was this negative thread started except to have everyone weeping and crying for their online posting misfortunes. Some people are not satisfied unless everyone agrees with them and if anyone expresses disagreement, well, that person is a no good pot-stirring troll....

I agree as well. You might as well have labeled this thread "What motivates some posters to post comments that I don't agree with?" Many of the people who are labeled as negative are those who don't have the pollyanna view of The Villages or the developer. Its been said many times but bears repeating, that The Villages is a wonderful place to live but is not perfect. It seems that whenever someone questions anything about The Villages that they wish were different, the change in the parades policy for example, or the IRS issue, they are branded negative and viewed by some as almost anti-American.

Just because someone has their eyes open and can see both sides of an issue, and happens to disagree with you doesn't make that person a troll. It is entirely possible that some people like to present both sides of an issue for the benefit of those newbies or people considering the Villages, so they get a balanced point of view. The IRS issue is one example. Its only fair for people considering buying to be aware of it. They are most likely not going to hear about it from their sales rep. I consider posters offering that type of balanced information as doing a public service.

The Villages is a great place to live but the only way to improve upon something good is to make corrections to make it even better. That isn't a bad thing. We should always be striving to make things better, and that entails change.

As far as offering links instead of hashing out the same stuff time after time, that is a good idea, but it does take time to research and find the links. Not everyone has that kind of time.

[JourneyOfLife]

The motivation: Human Nature. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.


Ever notice how that film title can be appropriately applied to so many things?

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by Golfingnut

Keep that thought as you are 100% correct. None of us on here are trying to gush out with unwarranted positive comments. Even we do not want this board to be sensitive to a fault, but:::::::

What I am saying is to be civil, you must try to tone it down when you become aggressive or negative.

Try using words like DISLIKE instead of HATE.
Confused instead of STUPID. etc. etc.

We all know, that being over the top in either direction is not beneficial to anyone and we know that person to person it would not be handled that way. This board gives some the opportunity to be less than civil due to non-accountability. If you tell me that you disagree with my opinion, I promise I will consider yours. If you say I am an idiot for believing the way I do, You have made no viable point at all. That is an argument not a discussion.

It is not the subject that offends, it is the words used to assemble ones opinion in a paragraph. We would still have the now defunct forum if everyone would have been civil with their posts.

Your posts, Anarick, golfingnut,polarbear and many others were so well written that the message has already affected many of us.

Defining the problem and carefully debating the problem often sews seeds to cause the reader to rethink the issue. I find that when a person who feels strongly about an issue states his/her case without using negative words and phrases he/she has a much better chance to influence others.

None of us can help our strong feelings and they aren't wrong. All of us have a responsibility to consider that we ourselves just MIGHT be wrong.

What if it is eventually discovered that Gary Morse is a kind good person who feels the responsibilty heavily to leave a legacy of his life and hard work in the form of this wonderful town? What if it is discovered that Gary Morse is a uncaring and greedy person who uses every power at his means to goudge more money from naive people who flock here? What if it is eventually discoved that he is a little of both, a human much like us, who has gambled his money, worked hard and become an amazing business success?

I am just as wrong to diefy someone I do not know as those are to vilify someone they do not know. We just don't KNOW sometimes, we can speculate, we can come to probable conclusions, we can feel and we can be influenced by our life, our religious and political views and our core values and we can suspect. Many of us have been a member of one faith and switched to another and many of us have voted in one way and switched to another. We change and we grow and it never hurts to try to keep an open mind...but at our ages, that may be a lost cause.

We all are who we are and we all have admirable qualities. I often get hot when someone says something that hurts someone or me, but I try to keep a level head. Sometimes I win. Sometimes I lose.

Just as an example of finding it very hard to change our core views.

[Golfingnut]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

Your posts, Anarick, golfingnut,polarbear and many others were so well written that the message has already affected many of us.

Defining the problem and carefully debating the problem often sews seeds to cause the reader to rethink the issue. I find that when a person who feels strongly about an issue states his/her case without using negative words and phrases he/she has a much better chance to influence others.

None of us can help our strong feelings and they aren't wrong. All of us have a responsibility to consider that we ourselves just MIGHT be wrong.

What if it is eventually discovered that Gary Morse is a kind good person who feels the responsibilty heavily to leave a legacy of his life and hard work in the form of this wonderful town? What if it is discovered that Gary Morse is a uncaring and greedy person who uses every power at his means to goudge more money from naive people who flock here? What if it is eventually discoved that he is a little of both, a human much like us, who has gambled his money, worked hard and become an amazing business success?

I am just as wrong to diefy someone I do not know as those are to vilify someone they do not know. We just don't KNOW sometimes, we can speculate, we can come to probable conclusions, we can feel and we can be influenced by our life, our religious and political views and our core values and we can suspect. Many of us have been a member of one faith and switched to another and many of us have voted in one way and switched to another. We change and we grow and it never hurts to try to keep an open mind...but at our ages, that may be a lost cause.

We all are who we are and we all have admirable qualities. I often get hot when someone says something that hurts someone or me, but I try to keep a level head. Sometimes I win. Sometimes I lose.

Just as an example of finding it very hard to change our core views.

[redwitch]

...

[Villages PL]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

All of us have read posts on this forum from posters who always seem to have a chip on their shoulders at best and seem downright mean, hostile, confrontational and almost cruel at worst.

Without knowing the exact words that were spoken, I'm at a loss to figure this out. "downright mean, hostile, confrontational and almost cruel" is totally subjective to each person. But supposing it really was that way, why wasn't it reported to the moderator when it happened? And if it was reported, why does it need to be rehashed now unless the purpose of this thread is to stir the pot?

They rarely have an avatar or a clue as to who they are, whether they live here, or why they seem so ANGRY.

As I have suggested before, perhaps there's a mental issue involved: Could the person be bipolar?

In your opinion, what motivates them?

Without knowing the exact context, it would all be speculation. Vague questions like this only serve to stir the pot more.

How should we respond?....if at all?

Report it to the moderator.

[paulandjean]

Originally Posted by mickey100

I agree as well. You might as well have labeled this thread "What motivates some posters to post comments that I don't agree with?" Many of the people who are labeled as negative are those who don't have the pollyanna view of The Villages or the developer. Its been said many times but bears repeating, that The Villages is a wonderful place to live but is not perfect. It seems that whenever someone questions anything about The Villages that they wish were different, the change in the parades policy for example, or the IRS issue, they are branded negative and viewed by some as almost anti-American.

Just because someone has their eyes open and can see both sides of an issue, and happens to disagree with you doesn't make that person a troll. It is entirely possible that some people like to present both sides of an issue for the benefit of those newbies or people considering the Villages, so they get a balanced point of view. The IRS issue is one example. Its only fair for people considering buying to be aware of it. They are most likely not going to hear about it from their sales rep. I consider posters offering that type of balanced information as doing a public service.

The Villages is a great place to live but the only way to improve upon something good is to make corrections to make it even better. That isn't a bad thing. We should always be striving to make things better, and that entails change.

As far as offering links instead of hashing out the same stuff time after time, that is a good idea, but it does take time to research and find the links. Not everyone has that kind of time.

Very well said. On this site,if you disagree with that majority.you are "labeled" Seems lots of people see things through rose colored glasses.Lots of the old timers on here are like they have their opinion and that is the only correct one. I have to admit,I like to "egg on" a few,and I hope it gets them thinking.

[Villages PL]

Originally Posted by PammyJ

Using the written word to communicate can be a little tricky! As I have read everyone's posts, over time, I have started to see personalities come out. I feel sometimes if we are not careful with our words, it can be taken wrong. Some posts are just rude! But some seem to be written in a joking manner and are taken as an insult and may even be removed! I absolutely love people watching on here! If everyone was nice, polite and had the same opinion, I think I would stop reading! I say, keep being you! I love the diversity!

Nice thoughtful post, Pammy, and well worth the time to read. You should post more often.

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by PammyJ

Using the written word to communicate can be a little tricky! As I have read everyone's posts, over time, I have started to see personalities come out. I feel sometimes if we are not careful with our words, it can be taken wrong. Some posts are just rude! But some seem to be written in a joking manner and are taken as an insult and may even be removed! I absolutely love people watching on here! If everyone was nice, polite and had the same opinion, I think I would stop reading! I say, keep being you! I love the diversity!

Good post Pammy! I also love the diversity on TOTV. And if a member finds the posts of another member to be offensive, the Admins have taken care of that problem by providing an "Ignore List" (under Settings and Options).

[Cisco Kid]

Originally Posted by PammyJ

Using the written word to communicate can be a little tricky! As I have read everyone's posts, over time, I have started to see personalities come out. I feel sometimes if we are not careful with our words, it can be taken wrong. Some posts are just rude! But some seem to be written in a joking manner and are taken as an insult and may even be removed! I absolutely love people watching on here! If everyone was nice, polite and had the same opinion, I think I would stop reading! I say, keep being you! I love the diversity!

This is so true.
I was taken to the wood shed by a friend for a post of mine.
I needed the spanking.
I love this forum and all of those on it.
Please feel free to say jimmy, down boy, sit, stay.
I relate to that.

[Mikeod]

I agree that the written word can convey meanings that are not exactly what the writer intended. For example, in a post above there is a comment that those who "have their eyes open" may have a differing opinion. Now, that phrase could be taken as a criticism of those whose opinion differs from the writer. Or it could be a suggestion that people need to look more deeply into matters.

But what seems to causing this turmoil is that there are those who see the community as a wonderful place to enjoy the fruits of their labors for the rest of their lives. They know there are some areas of concern, but feel the overall situation is entirely positive.

The other camp notices all the present and potential areas of concern and is not reticent to point them out. They also thoroughly enjoy the lifestyle available here, but have that background concern.

The first group seems to feel the second group is searching for the slightest blemish, like pointing out a mole on a beautiful face and encourages them to like it or leave it. The second group seems to feel the first is hiding their heads in the sand and accuses them of drinking the kool-aid or wearing rose colored glasses.

The truth is we need both people here. Just like both the POA and the VHA serve a purpose. It would serve both groups to be sure their words are informative and educational without denigrating the others' position.