A considered post that shows that you are not the center of your own universe.

I REALLY hope you will be my friend.

KUDOS to you!!! :eclipsee_gold_cup: I love your comments, especially "Don't let anybody rent space in your head." So well put, and so very wise. Never heard it before, but it will become unforgetable to me.

Thanks 2BNTV for sharing......b

When I was in my early twenties I took a job with the US government in Washington, D.C. As I settled in and started getting to know my co-workers I noticed one fellow in particular, an "older man", probably at least 55, had a nice smile on his face, always greeted me cheerfully and seemed to be a quite happy person. As I got to know him I found out he had been an attorney in private practice but for some reason about which I did not inquire had given it up to work for the government for a lot less income (and no doubt a lot less stress). I asked him how he could be so happy having stepped down in status and income (not using those words) and he told me that when he was my age he had observed that older people fell into two groups, happy ones and unhappy ones, and that he had decided to join the happy group. I have never forgotten his revelation, am grateful for it and try to follow it in my life. I try to be cheerful, tolerant and accepting of others in every way: the young, the middle aged and the elderly. Many seniors have over the years become quite fixed in their opinions and beliefs. Some are essentially saying "Don't confuse me with the facts. I have already made up my mind." I treat that mindset as their problem and either ignore them or get away from them as soon as I can.

Since I slowed down myself workwise and started to travel, I have met and spent time with the locals in several different cultures, including areas which were bubbling with unrest such as Thailaind during their demonstrations and Egypt not long ago. I have found that almost everyone I talked to was a decent human being deep inside. They did live under different political systems, some of which were working fairly well and some of which were not. Most of them had accepted their lot in life and were reasonably content. Some had deep political convictions. Some did not. Some were quite happy such as the cheerful older coworker I was fortunate to encounter as a young man. Other were quite unhappy. Some were open to hearing about my beliefs. Others were not. That is probably the case everywhere, perhaps moreso among older people.

Manabout, I totally agree with you about "happy" and "unhappy" people. :thumbup: Every now and then (even in The Villages!) I'll run into somebody I think of as a "joysucker" -- you know the type. They'll walk into a room (or onto a golf course) and just suck all the joy out of it. I'm not talking about people who are having a particularly difficult time, and are in need of our love and compassion. I'm talking about the people who just seem to be incredibly angry about everything, all the time.

This next part may seem to be off topic, but bear with me for a minute. I had to visit the urgent care facility a few weeks ago. In the waiting room they had Fox news (with sound!). In the examination rooms they also had a TV with Fox news (with sound!) I was curious about having tv's in the examination rooms, because the blood pressure person watched it while she pumped up my blood pressure cuff. (Pay attention to me!) The program that was on was a controversial one (Glenn Beck), so I thought hmmm... If you like this program, you'll get excited and your blood pressure will go up, and if you don't like this program, you'll get excited and your blood pressure will go up... My blood pressure was the highest it's ever been! :22yikes: The doctor said it was caused by the Sudafed, but I'm not so sure.

And on that note, I debated about sharing this link I found. It is not meant to be political. I found it to be interesting, and maybe some of you will, too. Please, folks, don't get angry with me. I'm just sharing what I found: http://www.frumforum.com/fox-geezer-syndrome

Do you really think watching television can change us from being happy people to being unhappy people? :shrug:

I do think that watching some television programs, especially the 24 hour news networks can alter our feelings. The continual message of bad events, feelings, disasters has to have some impact on what we're feeling.
In the evenings, as the day draws to a close, I much prefer to watch something that will make me laugh or smile....and the 24 hour news networks go on only when world events have taken a turn for the worse. (I agree it's annoying to have FOX news or CNN or Headline News on in the waiting rooms, they can drive one's blood pressure up a good number of points!.... ;)

My parents taught me to respect other people's opinions, even those that differed from mine, and try to find areas of agreement and commonality. That I should empathize with people who are of different persuasions and try to understand what in their lives makes them feel, think, or act the way they do. One story that I think illustrates the way I was brought up; I was about 10 years old and President Eisenhower was on the television, giving a speech. I was talking to someone else and said out loud - "He's an idiot" - referring to someone else we were talking about. My mother overheard me and thought I was saying that about the president, and gave me a stern lecture, saying that he was the president and should always be shown the proper respect, and never called names. Now I was well aware that my mother was a dyed in the wool Roosevelt democrat, and it struck me at the time, and has stayed with me to this day, that she was defending the honor of a president with whom she disagreed and opposed. I am glad I had the parental guidance that I had and wish more people had had the same.

Red, my old marketing professor told me many years ago that "An opinion firmly held is more important than facts any day." I think a lot of intolerance comes from people who hold opinions that they believe are facts. It is sometimes the expression of these "facts" around others who hold other "facts" equally as firmly that leads to negative feelings and intolerance. Many factors that others have mentioned can be the causes of this problem, but the problem is increased when we become older and have more and more of these "facts" in our minds.

B.

As a wise man once said...."Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, however no one is entitled to their own facts."

Ed, sounds like your mother and my father were raised by the same people. Like your mother, my dad was a true-blue Democrat (even in a very Republican County). Like your mother, he was not a fan of Eisenhower, even though Dad was 100% pro military (he really thought Stevenson was THE MAN!). My brother once called Ike a few choice names (forget what they were, but I know they weren't good). Dad sat him down and gave him a heck of a lecture on respecting the rank and the title, regardless of personal opinions. He also talked to him about respecting a man for his actions, that personal integrity was far more important than personal wealth. I overheard every word and it has stuck with me my entire life. (Thanks for a reminding me of a great memory!)

Sorry I couldn't respond sooner as they expect me to do work while I'm at work. LOL

I am honored to be your friend by your invitation a while back. Hopefully, I will meet you and your family when I am in TV permanetly.

I try to be considerate of other people and post my statements in a generic way so anyone does not feel I am attacking them.

I think if people had a serious problem in their life to deal with and wanted someone to have compassion for their problems they might have more compassion for other people and why they do what they do in their problems.

In New York, we use to say that "good people can spot good people a mile away".

Life is too short to be too little.

I remember Dale Carnegie writting in "How to Win Friends and Influence People" that you will see more smiling faces in the rice paddys of a poor nation than on Wall Street".

People are as happy as they make up their minds to be. Abraham Lincoln
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You can get a much better personal response from listening and saying you understand than telling someone how they can live their life better.

IMHO - You can't tell anyone something but you can inform them.

Wonderful post!

Originally Posted by redwitch
Thank you all for your replies. I can't say I quite understand, yet, but it's given me some food for thought.

I'm one of those who has to state her opinion. Couldn't stop myself if I tried. It is a part of me, my core nature. I don't try to shove it in someone's face, I just let you know what I think. (Don't ever ask me if I like what you're wearing -- if I don't, I will tell you.)

Sometimes it is hard to live in a community where I see and hear people call others a name because their opinion is different. I'll be the one in the middle butting in and trying to stop the namecalling. I HATE it!!!! I hate blatent rudeness. I hate when someone acts like they're better than someone else because they think they have more. I LOATHE bullies in all forms.

I love TOTV and the people here. However, when people start getting mean, I don't get it. I used to enjoy the Political Forum. We'd get our viewpoints out with a lot of humor and fun thrown in. Then, it just became mean. The comments against Obama were over the top. The remarks against Palin made little sense. I left that forum and have not missed it. Occasionally, someone forgets these forums are not the political forum and acts as if it is. The namecalling starts. The pettiness is non-stop. The meanness is painful.

I love TV, the generosity of the people here, the willingness to laugh at one self, all of it. But, I've seen some of the meanest people I've ever been around here. If you don't agree with their religious, political, social beliefs, you're absolute slime and they let you know it. I find these people to be very small and I truly feel sorry for them, but I don't understand them at all.

I try to let my world grow. It was always a very black and white world (Aspies are that way -- there's right and there's not right and you have to correct the not right.) I'm learning there are grays everywhere. I can't say that I embrace the grays, but at least I understand they exist.

And, Bill, yes, I like rap. Actually, I love rap. When Jess was about 12, she got into emo music. I don't handle emotions well (again, an Aspie trait) and I found the music to be poppish, syrupy drivel. To get her away from it, I introduced her to rap. I taught her the history of the music; what the lyrics meant, the good and the bad of those lyric;, where a curse word was used to be effective and have meaning, where it was used just because the rapper could. I also love jazz, classical, tenors singing opera and I used to love the oldies, but TV OD'd me on that one. My favorite music is blues.

I have people in TV I consider my friends. I accept them as they are -- my sweet, innocent angel lover; my angry, hurt ex-military wife; my "leader of the pack" (always giving, always accepting, always kind); my man-hunting, goofy buddy; my friend who thinks God is the answer to all problems and tries to steer everyone to her church; my buddy who truly accepts everyone into his group and has the patience of at least 3 saints with Ghandi thrown in for good measure; even my ultra-conservative neighbor with the heart of gold. I don't try to change them. I accept and love them for who they are. So, if I can do it with a true affliction that makes it even harder for me to understand emotions, why is it so hard for a "normal" to accept others without being mean? See, I still don't get it. lol

Wonderful post!


I tried to copy Red's post with Kate's agreement...above (Wonderful post!)

I treasure you more every day, Red...and as always Kate, I love your attitude!!

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Wish I had said that!

Red - never knew you had Aspergers.

I think you see the "get off my front yard, you young whipper snappers!" attitude more on a relatively anonymous forum like TOTV than you do in person.

My attitude has always been that we can only live for today and go forward. But many people as they age need to feel that things were "better in the day". It's part of life and aging called the reflective period. I personally don't mind it as long as it doesn't become mean spirited.

If you go back into the archives of TOTV you can find articles about such things as: Why don't men remove their hats in a restaurant, don't they have an manners; Rap music sucks; They don't make good movies anymore; etc. etc.

I just think things change, not better, nor worse. Just change.

[quote=Russ_Boston;331205]Red - never knew you had Aspergers.

I think you see the "get off my front yard, you young whipper snappers!" attitude more on a relatively anonymous forum like TOTV than you do in person.

My attitude has always been that we can only live for today and go forward. But many people as they age need to feel that things were "better in the day". It's part of life and aging called the reflective period. I personally don't mind it as long as it doesn't become mean spirited.

If you go back into the archives of TOTV you can find articles about such things as: Why don't men remove their hats in a restaurant, don't they have an manners; Rap music sucks; They don't make good movies anymore; etc. etc.

I just think things change, not better, nor worse. Just change.


I try to think that this day holds the opportunity to be the best one in my life.

Nice!