[BowleesCreekYachtClub]

It's interesting that some men refer to their spouse as "my wife" and others as "the wife". I find the latter - "the wife" - somewhat derogatory as it is impersonal like "the car" or the "the house". On the other hand I guess that "my wife" makes it sound like she is a possession which may not be politically correct in the current era.

I'm not sure if there is a tight or wrong, possibly it is simply local usage that prevails. Personally I will continue to use the term "my wife" but I'd better check with the wife first to see which she prefers! Allan.

[Bill-n-Brillo]

The worst would be to use the "O.L." phrase!!!! I've had some people refer to Sandy with the O.L. phrase at times..........and I always get them straightened out, politely of course. For most of the people who use that, it's just a figure of speech for them, it seems. They don't think anything of it.

Of course, they never have the nerve to bring up that phrase when she's present. She'd have them out back for the beating of their life if they did!! Ha-ha!

Bill

[gage405]

Do you ever see a woman refer to her husband as "the husband?"
I havent.
I dont like to see "the wife."

[silvertoken]

Thanks, now I live in the (old phrase) Dawg House!!!
Signed: The other half.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by gage405

Do you ever see a woman refer to her husband as "the husband?"
I havent.
I dont like to see "the wife."

You know, I feel the same way and I don't know why. Some people use that term on here and I know they treasure their wife. It just doesn't sound right to me somehow.


Do we all have too much time to evaulate things or what?????

[jebartle]

Mine is the "ole boy" and his term for me "his girlfriend"....Not sure I would want to be "THE" wife but will settle for "girlfriend" of 35 years, the other names we will keep "under wraps"...tee hee

Originally Posted by graciegirl

You know, I feel the same way and I don't know why. Some people use that term on here and I know they treasure their wife. It just doesn't sound right to me somehow.


Do we all have too much time to evaulate things or what?????

[Whalen]

I too find the phrase "the wife" offensive.
It denotes possession as in I own the house, I own the car and I also own the wife.

[lightworker888]

I always wondered why men didn't just use their wife's name. When the ladies are talking together you almost always hear the name of their husband in the conversation and as someone pointed out, you never hear about "the husband". I have often wondered about the practice and it is good to know that there are others who don't like the term. I think it is probably colloquial as opposed to malintended, but I think it is good for those that use it to realize the implication of its use (at least if they read TOTV!)

[Pturner]

It struck me at first blush as somehow tacky too.

Perhaps it's because the more common, "my husband," "my wife," my child," sounds more interpersonal and attached. By contrast, "the wife," sounds impersonal and detached, not as someone would typically think about family.

I agree with Allan and GG though. Use of the phrase doesn't necessarily evidence detachment or intent to slight. It could be just a colloquialism the user picked up.

[Russ_Boston]

Remember, what offends you doesn't necessarily offend 'the wife'. I don't use that phrase but I don't judge others who do. And now that I work with 90% women (in nursing) I hear "the husband" sometimes as well. Actually they normally go with "that &$% husband of mine").

[GaDawg]

As for me I would never use "the wife" to refer to she who must be obeyed. Nope, never would do that. :-)

[ljones190]

My mother was Italian and she used the to say The father,mother, daughter, son ,wife, husband and others. We always thought it was funny so I use it out of respect for "The Mother".

[redwitch]

Once upon a time I was married to a pretty nice man. He was my friend as well as my husband. I once came up behind him as he was telling a friend of this that he needed to check with "the wife." His buddy started cracking up as I was glaring daggers into his back.

I was Dee, his spouse, his wife, his friend, his love or at least I thought I was. To say I was the wife depersonalized me. I was no longer someone special -- I was a thing. I honestly didn't speak to him for three days after that comment. So far as I know, I was never "the" anything again, not even after we were divorced.

Now, if your spouse is okay with you making a thing out of her rather than being the special person she is, then keep using "the wife." Just don't be surprised when another female or two glares at you.

[logdog]

I think the term "Spousal Unit" is more politically correct and gender neutral. I would say "my Spousal Unit" versus "the Spousal Unit" to avoid any confusion since others in the group may also be in Spousal relationships.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by logdog

I think the term "Spousal Unit" is more politically correct and gender neutral. I would say "my Spousal Unit" versus "the Spousal Unit" to avoid any confusion since others in the group may also be in Spousal relationships.

Some people are so clever and ornery on here you just have to love 'em.