Talk of The Villages Florida - Rentals, Entertainment & More
Talk of The Villages Florida - Rentals, Entertainment & More
#406
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The following test was developed by a combination of top US and European
psychologists. The results are extremely accurate in describing your personality with one simple question. Which is your favorite Teletubbie: A. Yellow - La La B. Purple - Tinky Winky C. Green - Dipsy D. Red - Po Scroll down to get your profile... A. You chose the Yellow Teletubbie: You are gay. B. You chose the Purple Teletubbie: You are gay. C. You chose the Green Teletubbie: You are gay. D. You chose the Red Teletubbie: You are gay. |
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#407
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A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank,
he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola, and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road. "I can't stand this," said the man, tossing the can into a trash container and headed down the road toward the men. "Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?" "Well, we work for the government," one of the men said. "But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the taxpayers' money?" "You don't understand, mister," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. Normally there's three of us - me, Rodney, and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree, and Mike here puts the dirt back. Now just because Rodney's sick, that doesn't mean that Mike and me can't work. |
#408
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POLITICALLY CORRECT "SHE" TERMS
She does not: GET PMS She becomes: HORMONALLY HOMICIDAL She does not have: A KILLER BODY She is: TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE She is not: A BAD COOK She is: MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE She is not: A BAD DRIVER She is: AUTOMOTIVELY CHALLENGED She is not a: PERFECT 10 She is: NUMERICALLY SUPERIOR She is not: EASY She is: HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE She does not: HATE SPORTS ON TV She is: ATHLETICALLY BIASED She does not have: SEXY LIPS She is: COLLAGEN DEPENDENT She does not get: DRUNK She is: ACCIDENTALLY OVER-SERVED You do not ask her: TO DANCE You request a: PRE-COITAL RHYTHMIC EXPERIENCE She is not: A GOSSIP She is a: VERBAL TERMINATOR She does not: WORK OUT TOO MUCH She is an: ABDOMINAL OVERACHIEVER She does not have: A GREAT BUTT She is: GLUTEUS TO THE MAXIMUS She is not: HOOKED ON SOAP OPERAS She is: MELODRAMATICALLY FIXATED She is not: COLD OR FRIGID She is: THERMALLY INCOMPATIBLE She does not: WEAR TOO MUCH MAKE-UP She is: COSMETICALLY OVERSATURATED She does not have: GREAT CLEAVAGE (A GREAT RACK) Her breasts are: CENTRALLY LOCATED She will never: GAIN WEIGHT She will become: A METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER She is not: A SCREAMER OR MOANER She is: VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE She does not: SHAVE HER LEGS She experiences: TEMPORARY STUBBLE REDUCTION She does not have: A HARD BODY She is: ANATOMICALLY INFLEXIBLE She does not: SUN BATHE She experiences: SOLAR ENHANCEMENT Her breast will never: SAG They will: LOSE THEIR VERTICAL HOLD She does not: SHOP TOO MUCH She is: OVERLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING PLOYS She does not: CUT YOU OFF She becomes: HORIZONTALLY INACCESSIBLE She does not have: BIG HAIR She is: OVERLY AEROSOLED She does not: SNORE She is: NASALLY REPETITIVE She does not: GET DRUNK She becomes: VERBALLY DYSLEXIC She does not have: BIG HOOTERS Her: CUPS RUNNETH OVER She is not: TOO SKINNY She is: SKELETALLY PROMINENT |
#409
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#410
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#411
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#412
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Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he has ever seen. St. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to the ugly woman!" The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and long comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy. The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on...a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The guy remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" She says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!” |
#413
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#414
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Good one MDLNB!
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using Tapatalk |
#415
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Thanks for the view wackadoodle!
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using Tapatalk |
#416
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#417
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Cyber Harassment-Internet Defamation & Internet Trolls
Why does this jerk not post jokes where they belong? On the Regular Forum under the Just for Fun Thread where they can be moderated!!! |
#418
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Cyber Harassment-Internet Defamation & Internet Trolls
Why does this jerk not post jokes where they belong? On the Regular Forum under the Just for Fun Thread where they can be moderated!!! |
#419
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#420
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You get that it is the TITLE of this thread that offends me!!! |
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