Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Palmers
My Mom has always been shy, she is not depressed. She does not make friends easily and has always been this way, this is not a new development. This is why I do not want her in an apartment alone. I want her to have her own apartment, but be forced to eat with others, which will provide social interaction. She is the kind of woman who only ever talked with my Dad and her family, now everyone is dead, she does not really know how to put herself out there. By having group meals, she has to put herself out there. It took her six months to attend her first bingo game at the place she is living now....now she goes to all the functions.
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As a thought...
Have gone (and still going) through the same issue with my mother (82) and father-in-law (88 when he passed). One thing I learned from the beginning is that what "I want" didn't matter. I was gently (and not so gently) reminded by them both that they managed to make it through a depression, WWII, a dozen Presidents and rap music; and no "child" of their's (biological or in-law) was smarter about how they should live their life(ves) as they were themselves. Both of them being highly independent in thinking, the concept of living with others, eating when told to, and all those "rules" involved in communal living just didn't cut it. They both considered it "going backwards" and both said that lifestyle to them was just having one-foot-in-the-grave and being in a holding pattern until the coroner arrived. I tried putting myself in their shoes for a minute, and had to agree, as I too don't want to live in a barracks again, no matter how pretty it is.
One good thing about The Villages is that if all of you come here (you two in one place, your mother in another), the circumstances here and the topography allow for as frequent a set of visits as either want to have. Also, being a golf-cart community, it doesn't take long for folk of all ages and situation to get chummy all by themselves, especially since the ages of the residents and their interests cover a lot of ground.
My spouse and I have discussed what will happen with my mother once she stops driving and can't get around for the basics (food, medical care, etc) due to lack of car. We have proposed to her the option of her getting a place of her own in TV (she lives in Orlando now). She's not against it - just still maneuverable enough not to want to do it yet. When/if that time happens, there's enough places (the new cottages, resales, etc) for her to select a place to her choosing.
Granted, if she came here, we'd have to invest some time getting her to a couple of the clubs, activities, etc. - priming the pump, so to speak. After that, the natural bonding that occurs with being around people your own age, background, experiences, music, etc. takes over, and then they all start looking after each other. Isn't that what we all are doing now ourselves? ? ?
Again, just a thought.....