Famous sayings to live by
Bar Room Signs
``
If life is a waste of time,
And time is a waste of life,
Then let's all get wasted together
And have the time of our lives.
Armand's Pizza, Washington , DC
Fighting for peace is like
Screwing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge , LO
No matter how good she looks,
Some other guy is sick and tired
Of putting up with her ****.
Men's Room
Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC
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It's hard to make a comeback
When you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dust on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg , AZ
Make love, not war.
Hell, do both
GET MARRIED!
Women's restroom
The Filling Station, Bozeman , MT
If voting could really change things,
It would be illegal.
Revolution Books
New York , New York .
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
Congress!
Men's restroom House of Representatives,
Washington , DC
Express Lane:
Five beers or less.
Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic's, Phoenix , AZ
You're too good for him..
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills , CA
No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills , CA
~~~ and perhaps the most realistic one ~~~
A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles,
You're going to have trouble with it.
Women's restroom
Dick's Last Resort, Dallas , TX
0A
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die...
_____________________________
.....AND MY FAVORITE
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE
FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED;
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
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