Why is it important to know a person's gender on this website?

[Villages PL]

If someone is single and looking for a partner on the singles board I can understand wanting to know. But a single has the option of disclosing this information if he or she so chooses.

Other than that, what might the reason be? As far as mental or emotional performance in messaging, aren't both genders equal? Do you have to know which gender you're talking to so you can tailor your message appropriately?

[rubicon]

I believe it is very important to know a member's gender when communicating. Despite what some claim there are many science supported differences between men and women. Thank God In that same vein it is also important to know their religious and political persuasion , education, even their ethnicity etc The more you know about a person the better you can attempt clear communication because all these factors frames their point of references........................................ ........................

[zcaveman]

Good questions. I have no answers. I do not think that it matters. But I do like some of the screen names. They do make you guess.

Z

[JB in TV]

While I can see both sides of the question...knowing and not knowing, I don't believe that this forum is such that one needs "the upper hand" in discussons. I see this forum as a place to learn more about TV, the contractors, the goings on, etc. The gender of the poster is probably not necessary for that kind of communication. If this were a more debate orientated dicussion type forum, then having as much info about the other posters may provide an additional edge to some folks.

With that said, I beleive that the poster who asked the original questipn was just coming from an "it'd be nice to know" point of view, and nothing else. In most cases, when you meet someone in person, you know their gender, online friends, not so much.

[Indydealmaker]

I, for one do not subscribe to current "de-gendering" of this country. Men are men, women are women.

Like it or not we speak and think differently. We are supposed to.

I tend to be more kind and gentle to women (upbringing) and more irreverent to men. Men that don't like that kind of friendly-rude camaraderie, I just do not understand.

I hate anything "touchy-feely". It helps to know whether that vibe is coming from a man or woman.

While we are on a sort of related subject. I do not understand a husband and wife who post on TOTV as one. How can any married couple ALWAYS think alike? I know some who even use the same email address. What is that all about?

[Villages PL]

With that said, I beleive that the poster who asked the original questipn was just coming from an "it'd be nice to know" point of view, and nothing else.

Really? What I have noticed is that women have a thing for something I would call "solidarity". So in order to have or practice solidarity, you first have to know who is who. I could expound on how this works on the boards but the truth always seems to get people angry.

[TheVillageChicken]

If your question was prompted by graciegirl's post (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-non-villages-discussion-93/you-male-female-127370/), I have to say that I don't think she implied in any way that it was important.

[DougB]

If someone is single and looking for a partner on the singles board I can understand wanting to know. But a single has the option of disclosing this information if he or she so chooses.

Other than that, what might the reason be? As far as mental or emotional performance in messaging, aren't both genders equal? Do you have to know which gender you're talking to so you can tailor your message appropriately?

Before I can answer, I need to know if you are male or female.

[rubicon]

I answered originally with what I believed were the necessary criteria even on a blog to know about a person in order to communicating effectively. However I missed one important element. Does the person in question bother to read what others post? If they do not your wasting your time and theirs

[Villages PL]

If your question was prompted by graciegirl's post (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-non-villages-discussion-93/you-male-female-127370/), I have to say that I don't think she implied in any way that it was important.

Sometimes a thought has a birthplace; so be it. The question came up in my mind and was not directed to any one person. Although, she is a woman.

[Villages PL]

I answered originally with what I believed were the necessary criteria even on a blog to know about a person in order to communicating effectively. However I missed one important element. Does the person in question bother to read what others post? If they do not your wasting your time and theirs

I did read your first post on this thread, rubicon, and it made me wonder why you felt the need to expand the original topic. The topic is about communicating but only as regards gender.

You did say you think gender is very important but you didn't say why.

[quirky3]

Maybe it is so that they know who to invite into the squirt gun posse (solidarity!)

[onslowe]

I, for one do not subscribe to current "de-gendering" of this country. Men are men, women are women.

Like it or not we speak and think differently. We are supposed to.

I tend to be more kind and gentle to women (upbringing) and more irreverent to men. Men that don't like that kind of friendly-rude camaraderie, I just do not understand.

I hate anything "touchy-feely". It helps to know whether that vibe is coming from a man or woman.

While we are on a sort of related subject. I do not understand a husband and wife who post on TOTV as one. How can any married couple ALWAYS think alike? I know some who even use the same email address. What is that all about?

I agree with everything you said and the opinions are right on, Steve. The thread which is being complained about was clearly in the 'it would be nice to know" category. If one finds this abhorrent or distasteful, then by-pass, go around, ignore, move on and don't stir the pot needlessly.

If one would seek only to be 'au courant' and get one's thoughts from the modern gurus and iconoclasts, one will never apprehend the fact that many of us respect and uphold Tradition. There are objective and subjective unchangeable attributes between the sexes.

Vive la difference. :)

[TheVillageChicken]

Sometimes a thought has a birthplace; so be it. The question came up in my mind and was not directed to any one person. Although, she is a woman.


Ever thought about becoming the White House Press Secretary?

[graciegirl]

I will tell you one reason. I sometimes take a great liking to some nice girl on here and enjoy everything she says and thinks and laugh at all of her jokes and commiserate with a lot of her problems and eventually send her a PM to invite her to lunch with me and Helene and she answers...


Can I bring my wife?

Or I think how much I enjoy a fellow and will ask if he and his wife would like to have dinner with us and he is a wonderful, enjoyable, truly girly girl.

[shcisamax]

Oh my oh my oh my.... I think someone is making an awfully big mountain out of an itsy bitsy teeny weenie nothing anthill. Why can't someone just wonder if someone is male or femaie? What's the big deal? It's no more suspect a question than, "Do you have tile or hardwood?" Do we insert suppositions based upon tile people versus hardwood people? Just the way we are. Actually, we are laminate people.

[shcisamax]

Maybe it is so that they know who to invite into the squirt gun posse (solidarity!)

I think you are on to something.

[Villages PL]

Maybe it is so that they know who to invite into the squirt gun posse (solidarity!)

Yes, of course. And who gets targeted? Men! :jester: (No woman ever points a squirt gun at another woman.)

[shcisamax]

Yes, of course. And who gets targeted? Men! :jester: (No woman ever points a squirt gun at another woman.)


Don't be so sure. It's an equal opportunity posse.

[tomwed]

I don't need to know anyone's gender. I think my response would be the same but I need more time to think that one over. It's a good question.

Having said that, this is my first social media experience. I avoided other like sites.

I feel safe. I always presume on this site I am writing to others around my age who probably live around here and not a 12 year old, half way around the world, pretending to be an English speaking retiree.

ps
I takes me a long time to write what I write. And this isn't the first time that as I was forming my thoughts others were posting what I was thinking.

[dbanks50]

I'd rather have an honest answer instead of one based on my gender.

[Villages PL]

Oh my oh my oh my.... I think someone is making an awfully big mountain out of an itsy bitsy teeny weenie nothing anthill. Why can't someone just wonder if someone is male or femaie? What's the big deal? It's no more suspect a question than, "Do you have tile or hardwood?" Do we insert suppositions based upon tile people versus hardwood people? Just the way we are. Actually, we are laminate people.

There you go! You just gave a great example of solidarity in action. It happens automatically. If the tables were turned and 1) I asked to know who's male and who's female and 2) Graciegirl started this thread......

....would you have jumped in and posted what you just posted? Would you have come to my defense?

[Bogie Shooter]

I always wondered about "Pat", the a long ago character on Saturday Night Live.
Was he or was she?

[2BNTV]

I thought for the longest time VPL was a woman, that expounded on the virtues of eating correctly.

I even lost a bet, and had to buy someone dinner. :(

It doesn't make a difference to me, but on certain subjects, it would be nice to know, as some poster are a little rougher, when they think they are talking to a man. I cam only imagine the political forum, in it's heyday.

It was meant to be a fun post, so everyone doesn't need to get their knickers, in a knot. :D

Maybe if everyone posted their picture, one might not have to remain anonymous. I have run into several people who recognize my picture and have responded appropriately. My viewpoint is some people want to remain anonymous, so they can be difficult in their posting views.

[shcisamax]

There you go! You just gave a great example of solidarity in action. It happens automatically. If the tables were turned and 1) I asked to know who's male and who's female and 2) Graciegirl started this thread......

....would you have jumped in and posted what you just posted? Would you have come to my defense?

Huh? There I go? Where is the example of solidarity in action?


All I said was it really isn't important, it is so insignificant, it didn't really merit getting upset about it. I likened the significance to whether you are a tile person or a hardwood, or whatever. I don't understand why you see that as "jumping in and coming to someone's defense". I don't think this was a defense but just an observation and opinion.

[Villages PL]

I thought for the longest time VPL was a woman, that expounded on the virtues of eating correctly.

I even lost a bet, and had to buy someone dinner. :(

It doesn't make a difference to me, but on certain subjects, it would be nice to know, as some poster are a little rougher, when they think they are talking to a man. I cam only imagine the political forum, in it's heyday.

It was meant to be a fun post, so everyone doesn't need to get their knickers, in a knot. :D

Maybe if everyone posted their picture, one might not have to remain anonymous. I have run into several people who recognize my picture and have responded appropriately. My viewpoint is some people want to remain anonymous, so they can be difficult in their posting views.

Posting a picture won't always be that helpful. Many years ago, when my lady friend wrote a column for the Daily Sun, from time-to-time I drove her to various assignments in The Villages. One day the event she was to write about was javelin throwing and other such sports. So we went to where these sports were being practiced. From a distance I thought all those who were involved were men. I decided to get closer and talk to some of them and, to my great surprise, they were all women.

If someone were to post a picture and you were in doubt, wouldn't that be embarrassing to make a wrong assumption or perhaps especially embarrassing if you had to ask?

[Villages PL]

Huh? There I go? Where is the example of solidarity in action?


All I said was it really isn't important, it is so insignificant, it didn't really merit getting upset about it. I likened the significance to whether you are a tile person or a hardwood, or whatever. I don't understand why you see that as "jumping in and coming to someone's defense". I don't think this was a defense but just an observation and opinion.

So now you're assuming I was upset about it? You are rephrasing everything now. It wasn't only what you said but also how you said it. Go back and read the exact words. It was so condescending. You started with, "Oh my oh my oh my, someone is making an awfully big mountain out of a itsy bitsy anthill."

Would you have spoken to Gracie in that same way?

See the exact words in my next post down below.

[dillywho]

Doesn't seem to me that it is really important, but just nice. I know that not everyone attends the get-togethers at Crisper's, but if and when you do, it's kinda nice to put the girl names to the girl faces. Lots of people have been surprised to learn that I am a "girl" (actually 70's and married to my awesome fella) by some of the phrases I have used when posting. My first name is the male spelling (don't go by it 'ceptin when I have to for legal-schmegle stuff) and it is unbelievable all the mail I get addressed to "Mr.". Heck, when I was a senior in high school, I got a letter from the Marine Corps Recruiting Office offering to "make a man out of me". Uh, no thanks, don't think so.:a20:

[Villages PL]

Doesn't seem to me that it is really important, but just nice. I know that not everyone attends the get-togethers at Crisper's, but if and when you do, it's kinda nice to put the girl names to the girl faces. Lots of people have been surprised to learn that I am a "girl" (actually 70's and married to my awesome fella) by some of the phrases I have used when posting. My first name is the male spelling (don't go by it 'ceptin when I have to for legal-schmegle stuff) and it is unbelievable all the mail I get addressed to "Mr.". Heck, when I was a senior in high school, I got a letter from the Marine Corps Recruiting Office offering to "make a man out of me". Uh, no thanks, don't think so.:a20:

I'm still not sure I understand you correctly. Is your first name "Dilly"? Is that on your birth certificate or is that your nickname?

[Barefoot]

Oh my oh my oh my.... I think someone is making an awfully big mountain out of an itsy bitsy teeny weenie nothing anthill. Why can't someone just wonder if someone is male or femaie? What's the big deal?

:agree: For a lot of us, this is just a fun place to chat, and to exchange opinions and comments. And sometimes it's fun to find out more about people.
"Where were you born" or "What's for dinner" or "What's your favorite club in The Villages" or "What kind of pet do you have", or "What's your pet peeve in restaurants" or "Are you male or female". No hidden agendas, just chatting.

[graciegirl]

Anonymity has it's price. Many people become so much more understandable when you are looking them in the eye.

I have enjoyed really getting to know in person Barefoot, 2BNTV, Dillywho, shcisamax, Indydealmaker, Kitty Gilchrist, CFrance, Redwitch ,DougB and Quirky3 who have posted on this thread.

I have not met in person but admire many others who posted.

I think you have given my thread a totally different meaning then it was intended. It was just lighthearted. Just bringing up again that many people are mistaken on gender of a lot of posters on TOTV.

[Villages PL]

:agree: For a lot of us, this is just a fun place to chat, and to exchange opinions and comments. And sometimes it's fun to find out more about people.
"Where were you born" or "What's for dinner" or "What's your favorite club in The Villages" or "What kind of pet do you have", or "What's your pet peeve in restaurants" or "Are you male or female". No hidden agendas, just chatting.

Now here we have solidarity on top of solidarity - double solidarity! This is exactly what I mean. If it looks like a woman might be losing an argument, another woman will feel the need to come to the rescue.

No one ever argued that this shouldn't be a fun place to chat and exchange opinions and comments. I made a point about women's solidarity and you proved it again. Thank you very much! And, or course, in order to have solidarity you would have to know who's who.

[kittygilchrist]

VPL..you asked a question...why u got backlash may be gender related..just maybe...

A Humorous Short Film That Highlights Gender Communication Differences - DesignTAXI.com (http://designtaxi.com/news/360949/A-Humorous-Short-Film-That-Highlights-Gender-Communication-Differences/)

[Barefoot]

Now here we have solidarity on top of solidarity - double solidarity! This is exactly what I mean. If it looks like a woman might be losing an argument, another woman will feel the need to come to the rescue.

No one ever argued that this shouldn't be a fun place to chat and exchange opinions and comments. I made a point about women's solidarity and you proved it again. Thank you very much! And in order to have solidarity you would have to know who's who.

You are very welcome.
Double solidarity :evil6: .... and I didn't realize there was an argument happening or that anyone needed to be rescued!

I guess this post saying "you are very welcome" is an example of female/male solidarity :confused:

[dillywho]

I'm still not sure I understand you correctly. Is your first name "Dilly"? Is that on your birth certificate or is that your nickname?

It is my nickname and I am still most definitely female.

[Villages PL]

VPL..you asked a question...why u got backlash may be gender related..just maybe...

A Humorous Short Film That Highlights Gender Communication Differences - DesignTAXI.com (http://designtaxi.com/news/360949/A-Humorous-Short-Film-That-Highlights-Gender-Communication-Differences/)

Thanks, it sounds interesting but it looks like I would have to log into Facebook? I have studiously stayed away from ever doing that. Sorry. :o
Is there a summary in writing?

[Indydealmaker]

I'd rather have an honest answer instead of one based on my gender.

I don't think "honesty" is the issue, rather it may be the delivery of the dialogue.

[Indydealmaker]

Oh my oh my oh my.... I think someone is making an awfully big mountain out of an itsy bitsy teeny weenie nothing anthill. Why can't someone just wonder if someone is male or femaie? What's the big deal? It's no more suspect a question than, "Do you have tile or hardwood?" Do we insert suppositions based upon tile people versus hardwood people? Just the way we are. Actually, we are laminate people.

In the good ole days, you didn't have to "wonder" if someone was male or female (or both)!:1rotfl:

[redwitch]

And then there are those who just rub you the wrong way regardless of gender and it would be nice to know whether to call them an SOB or just a B.

[graciegirl]

And then there are those who just rub you the wrong way regardless of gender.

You are undoubtedly your mother's smartest child.

[asianthree]

And then there are those who just rub you the wrong way regardless of gender and it would be nice to know whether to call them an SOB or just a B.

So true:girlneener:

[CFrance]

I, for one do not subscribe to current "de-gendering" of this country. Men are men, women are women.

Like it or not we speak and think differently. We are supposed to.

I tend to be more kind and gentle to women (upbringing) and more irreverent to men. Men that don't like that kind of friendly-rude camaraderie, I just do not understand.

I hate anything "touchy-feely". It helps to know whether that vibe is coming from a man or woman.

While we are on a sort of related subject. I do not understand a husband and wife who post on TOTV as one. How can any married couple ALWAYS think alike? I know some who even use the same email address. What is that all about?
I have a good friend who just won't get her own email. Her husband claims he doesn't read her emails, but he does. He has frequently responded to emails I sent to her, not realizing he is giving it away that he monitors her mail. Drives me nuts. I feel that we can only communicate honestly by phone.

The rest of your post is spot on, in my opinion, Indy.

[shcisamax]

And then there are those who just rub you the wrong way regardless of gender and it would be nice to know whether to call them an SOB or just a B.

ALL TIME BEST REMARK ON TOTV. THANK YOU REDWITCH FOR THE FINALE OF ALL TIME

Oh wait, I don't want this to look like a solidarity thing. I would have clapped if PL himself had written that!!!!!

[CFrance]

Now here we have solidarity on top of solidarity - double solidarity! This is exactly what I mean. If it looks like a woman might be losing an argument, another woman will feel the need to come to the rescue.

No one ever argued that this shouldn't be a fun place to chat and exchange opinions and comments. I made a point about women's solidarity and you proved it again. Thank you very much! And, or course, in order to have solidarity you would have to know who's who.
You are confusing solidarity with someone agreeing with someone else.

[Matzy]

Indydealmaker, I hope I did understand it right when you said "Men are men and Women are women", so you would treat the different sexes differently. In my understanding is a "gender" just a role we have to play in our society and is, in old understanding, for a lot of people almost the same with the "sex" of a human being. But there is a huge difference.

[Indydealmaker]

Indydealmaker, I hope I did understand it right when you said "Men are men and Women are women", so you would treat the different sexes differently. In my understanding is a "gender" just a role we have to play in our society and is, in old understanding, for a lot of people almost the same with the "sex" of a human being. But there is a huge difference.

I do not believe that gender is anything other than the sex of the individual. I do not subscribe to just making things up as we go along in order to justify behavior.

[Barefoot]

And then there are those who just rub you the wrong way regardless of gender and it would be nice to know whether to call them an SOB or just a B.

I'd like to say good post!
But I don't want to be accused of quadruple solidarity. :024:

[shcisamax]

I'd like to say good post!
But I don't want to be accused of quadruple solidarity. :024:

If I laugh at this comment, does that make me culpable of de facto quintruple solidarity?

[kittygilchrist]

Ok, I am the odd girl out on this one.
IMO VPL's point about solidarity has been verified by a denying passel, zealously.

[CFrance]

If I laugh at this comment, does that make me culpable of de facto quintruple solidarity?
And if I agree with you, will it be a reverse SEXIST-tuple solidarity?

I guess OP won't answer because he has logged off.

[shcisamax]

Do I hear septuple? Going once going twice, sold to the reverse sexistuple. So I guess we should put this thread to bed.

[lovsthosebigdogs]

If I say I agree and don't saw with whom I agree then do we get to say it's not solidarity? Does that make everyone/anyone happy? Is there anyway to win here?
BTW Red, toooooo funny! Not because of anything but a funny remark no matter what sex said it.

[CFrance]

Ok, I am the odd girl out on this one.
IMO VPL's point about solidarity has been verified by a denying passel, zealously.
Naw, at this point we've veered off and are just having some fun with each other.

[zonerboy]

Why is it important to know if a poster is a vegetarian or a carnivore?

[patfla06]

I just think it was a fun question.

[billethkid]

Sounds like a ham sandwich being made into a banquet!

[Patty55]

Interesting fun topic, I also like to know where people are from. It helps me know how much I should value your opinion.

[mixsonci]

i can't believe how ridiculous this has become. OMG, it's a simple lighthearted question, meant to be fun (I'm sure) and it's turned into this. If it bothers you that much, for heavens sake - DON'T ANSWER IT, but please get the heck over it. Go on to the next question about driveway pavers or attic stairs.