Marriage

[Yung Dum]

I see so many happy couples here in TV. I’m curious to know if these are first or second or more marriages. From what I’ve seen, most are first. I’m also curious to know where you’re from. I’m from N.Y. where marriages tend not to last a lifetime. What say you?

[Nucky]

Shouldn't this be in the political section! Great question but i'm out. Your funny though.

[Yung Dum]

Not trying to be funny or political. Just curious.

[Carl in Tampa]

In my experience, at least half of the couples who I socialize with are in their second (or later) marriages. This is sometimes because of divorce, but often it is because the first mates have died.

Additionally, you will find a lot of couples who live together but are not married. This is often due to complicated financial arrangements. The woman in the relationship may be receiving a benefit from the death of her husband that will cease if she remarries, causing a drastic reduction in household income. And if the new marriage should dissolve, she may find herself with little or no income.

For others, the combining of assets in marriage may make relationships difficult if both people have grown children with certain expectations of inheritance.

In the 1960s the city of St. Petersburg was reputedly the Florida city with the most retirees. There was some moral outrage when it was learned that a large number of the retired couples were not married. It was explained that the issue was the loss of Social Security benefits if the couples married.

St. Petersburg was dubbed a "Pooped Peyton Place."

[graciegirl]

In my experience, at least half of the couples who I socialize with are in their second (or later) marriages. This is sometimes because of divorce, but often it is because the first mates have died.

Additionally, you will find a lot of couples who live together but are not married. This is often due to complicated financial arrangements. The woman in the relationship may be receiving a benefit from the death of her husband that will cease if she remarries, causing a drastic reduction in household income. And if the new marriage should dissolve, she may find herself with little or no income.

For others, the combining of assets in marriage may make relationships difficult if both people have grown children with certain expectations of inheritance.

In the 1960s the city of St. Petersburg was reputedly the Florida city with the most retirees. There was some moral outrage when it was learned that a large number of the retired couples were not married. It was explained that the issue was the loss of Social Security benefits if the couples married.

St. Petersburg was dubbed a "Pooped Peyton Place."

Well said.

It is our first marriage, but it is more luck than sense on my part to have found him when I was not old enough yet to know what a prize he was and is. And before he knew what a ....load I am.

Many of our friends have been divorced a couple of times. And many are widowed. Many are living together as a couple to preserve their inheritances for their heirs.

Sometimes I think that the only folks who want to get married anymore are gay.

[Topspinmo]

First, 44 years, had ups and downs was was able to work through the downs, life or marriage is about give and take. If you truly love your spouse things will work out and most problems are not the end of the world. I find that things got complicated around the 7 year point. And around 15 years point. If marriage can survive these little bumps it it may just last life time. Usually needy people marriage don't work out because they are never satisfied. Some people can never be satisfied.

[VApeople]

We associate with a lot of couples. Some have been married for many years and others have different last names, so we do not know if they are not on their first marriage or if they are not even married.

In either case, it does not matter to us. All around us, we see people trying to enjoy the later years of their lives, and we enjoy being with them very much. That is all that matters.

[leftyf]

We are from Michigan and we will celebrate 50 years of marriage next month. First and only marriage.

[manaboutown]

In my experience a widowed individual frequently will not marry a new partner for financial reasons of one sort or another. As previously mentioned loss of widow/retirement benefits due to their spouse's death is one. In some divorce situations a nonworking spouse can receive lifetime spousal support which they lose if they remarry. Another is the estate issue; whose children will get what. This can be HUGE!

Among older folks what does it matter if a couple is married or not?

[plrbr1120]

Still married...once only....in 1973...from Illinois. Won't marry again if something happens to my wife as don't have enough life left in me to break the new person in to my ways. Probably don't have the patience either....LOL............

[aninjamom]

I and my spouse were both widowed, both had happy previous marriages, and like the commitment and yes, comfort of being married. Neither of us could see putting the time and energy into a relationship that is not "till death do us part". I gave up collecting widow's SS at 60 to marry him, we chose love over money. Fortunately we could afford it, and I'm still working. It was hard starting over, but very worth it! We are very happy.

[Taltarzac725]

There are a number of long term first marriages of New Yorkers in our neighborhood. A few second ones too where there is a New York Stater in the midst.

[Rango]

I've been happily married 3 times!

[Villager Joyce]

I'm paraphrasing a statement on how a couple married 63 years explained their success...Our generation fixes things that are broken. We don't throw it out.

[rubicon]

I see so many happy couples here in TV. I’m curious to know if these are first or second or more marriages. From what I’ve seen, most are first. I’m also curious to know where you’re from. I’m from N.Y. where marriages tend not to last a lifetime. What say you?

What a great topic.

I am from the old school. My wife is my first love. My greatest love and she will be my last love.

I am from a part of New York where we take our commitments seriously. Divorce was never a consideration and yes like all marriages we had our peaks and valleys.

[raynan]

We're from the Boston suburbs and married in 1972, 45 years.

[Topspinmo]

Still married...once only....in 1973...from Illinois. Won't marry again if something happens to my wife as don't have enough life left in me to break the new person in to my ways. Probably don't have the patience either....LOL............

Amen:bigbow::bigbow:

[Topspinmo]

I'm paraphrasing a statement on how a couple married 63 years explained their success...Our generation fixes things that are broken. We don't throw it out.

:BigApplause:

[EPutnam1863]

In Florida, there is a statute that when the husband dies, the surviving wife has the legal right to remain in the house but not to sell it and keep the proceeds of the sale if the title is not also in her name.

The rationale for this is so that the heirs cannot throw the wife out, leaving her homeless at the expense of the state.

If the wife is much younger, this means that the heirs may have to wait a long time before she finally leaves, leaving the house to the estate to sell.

One thing I am not sure about is what if it is a partner rather than a spouse, and the partners have lived together a long time. I suppose a trust or a life estate would need to be set up.

[EPutnam1863]

I've been happily married 3 times!

This means either you were widowed twice or if you were divorced twice, then they could not have been happy marriages.

[justjim]

This time next month we will be married 57 years. We grew up in small towns in Illinois. We married very young after graduating from high school and went straight to work. In addition, started our further education by attending evening college classes. When our son was born in 1963, my wife stayed home during the day and I went to school full-time until 2:30 pm and she worked from 3:30 to
Midnight while I took care of our baby and studied. We lived in a small Single wide mobile home and lived off our savings and my wife's salary.

Making our story short. When I finished college my wife started full-time and also finished her college degree. We bypassed instant gratification in our early years of marriage in order to further our education and it paid off in future dividends.

Finally, we learned that a marriage is not 50/50 in all aspects of life. There are some things I do well and it's best I do most of them and there are some things my wife does well and it's best for her to use her talent and skills to handle most of those. We love to do things together (such as couples golf) but we also give each other time and space to do their "thing". That makes a marriage work and endure the ups and downs that surely come in life. Our faith has sustained us through several valleys and our love for each other is stronger as the years have gone by. We are very fortunate.

[ColdNoMore]

This means either you were widowed twice or if you were divorced twice, then they could not have been happy marriages.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JtnEUPvpus



:D

[TheDude]

Not trying to be funny or political. Just curious.

not trying to be funny with that avatar. LOL Some of us grew up in that era

[rubicon]

This time next month we will be married 57 years. We grew up in small towns in Illinois. We married very young after graduating from high school and went straight to work. In addition, started our further education by attending evening college classes. When our son was born in 1963, my wife stayed home during the day and I went to school full-time until 2:30 pm and she worked from 3:30 to
Midnight while I took care of our baby and studied. We lived in a small Single wide mobile home and lived off our savings and my wife's salary.

Making our story short. When I finished college my wife started full-time and also finished her college degree. We bypassed instant gratification in our early years of marriage in order to further our education and it paid off in future dividends.

Finally, we learned that a marriage is not 50/50 in all aspects of life. There are some things I do well and it's best I do most of them and there are some things my wife does well and it's best for her to use her talent and skills to handle most of those. We love to do things together (such as couples golf) but we also give each other time and space to do their "thing". That makes a marriage work and endure the ups and downs that surely come in life. Our faith has sustained us through several valleys and our love for each other is stronger as the years have gone by. We are very fortunate.

Ditto my friend and our Congratulations

[Madelaine Amee]

I've been married a long time and I have often wondered what keeps people together for the long haul through thick and thin.

I think you need the chemistry from the first attraction to last and I have no idea why sometimes it does and sometimes it does not. I think you need to be a one and done kind of person - I remember Paul Newman being reported as saying "Why go out for a hamburger when you have steak at home?

If you live a long life with your partner you are going to go through ups and downs, some big, some small. But when I start muttering about his shortcomings I think of how difficult I must be to live with, and he puts up with my annoyances!

Plus anyone from a long marriage has history together. I do not mean to be disrespectful to people who remarry, but what can you possibly have in common with someone you didn't grow old with?

I admit I have been lucky in meeting my one and only and when you think of how young most of us were when we initially fell in love and add to that the life experiences we have been through, it is truly amazing that so many of us do find a life partner. I am also fortunate to have come from a family where the "D" word was never considered an option. I remember calling my Mother and telling her I wanted to come home - and I remember her saying to me "you could not wait to get into bed with him, now make the best of it". Probably the best advice I ever got - thanks Mum wherever you are!

At some point it is inevitable that one of us will pass - I will probably become a hermit and he will fill the house with dogs!

[LI SNOWBIRD]

This means either you were widowed twice or if you were divorced twice, then they could not have been happy marriages.

????????

[slipcovers]

I once attended a wedding of a young couple and during the course of the reception, the DJ asked the guests for the longest married couple. By the process of elimination, a elderly couple clearly won with well over 60 years married.

The DJ asked the elderly gentleman, "what is your secret? The man quickly replied "APPLE PIE". Everyone applauded.

[2BNTV]

My aunt and uncle were married for 75 years!!!

His passing ended the streak. She passed away two months later.

"Till death do us part" was their motto.

BTW - not a joke.

[BK001]

I've been married a long time and I have often wondered what keeps people together for the long haul through thick and thin.



In our case, the rocks in his head fit the holes in mine!

[Madelaine Amee]

In our case, the rocks in his head fit the holes in mine!

And that probably says it all .............. you just fit together .

[ColdNoMore]

In our case, the rocks in his head fit the holes in mine!

Very cute! :D

[msendo]

With two working parents, five kids wth all their activities and occasional "disagreements" concerning money, an occasional wrench got thrown into the works. We survived it all and have been married 39 years. :boxing2:

[village dreamer]

This means either you were widowed twice or if you were divorced twice, then they could not have been happy marriages.

maybe he was divorced 3 times and is very happy :boom::MOJE_whot::MOJE_whot:

[dbussone]

We're from the Boston suburbs and married in 1972, 45 years.



We're from Boston as well. Married 48 years in August


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[pooh]

We're from Boston as well. Married 48 years in August


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Originally from MA, married 48 years this August, too!

[Nucky]

We're from Boston as well. Married 48 years in August


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Bless your wife. 48 years damn that's good. Congratulations to you both a real accomplishment. Mom deserves a special meal. Try that Rose Plantation, you won't be disappointed. Bless you also Mr. Dave. :bigbow: Wicked good!

[rubicon]

I was sadden when my daughter divorced and surprised when she said to us "You and Mom made it look easy".

I apologized explaining that we believed the difficult parts of marriage ought to remain between husband and wife. We were reared in the age of reticence

[Madelaine Amee]

I was sadden when my daughter divorced and surprised when she said to us "You and Mom made it look easy".

I apologized explaining that we believed the difficult parts of marriage ought to remain between husband and wife. We were reared in the age of reticence

How true Rubicon, we were never allowed to see any problems in the home. My Mother was the strong partner and my Father liked a quiet life. In my case we are both very strong willed, but we make it work.

[dbussone]

Bless your wife. 48 years damn that's good. Congratulations to you both a real accomplishment. Mom deserves a special meal. Try that Rose Plantation, you won't be disappointed. Bless you also Mr. Dave. :bigbow: Wicked good!



I'm a very lucky guy, Nucky.


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[thelegges]

45 years this November. Good times, bad times, sad times. its a work in progress, never take anything for granted.

[CFrance]

From Pittsburgh. We'll be married 47 years in August. My divorced friends used to tell me how lucky I was to have my husband. So true. But I did point out it takes two to tango. Our two sons and their spouses say they are the only ones of their friends whose parents have had just one marriage. I like to think the examples shown by the three sets of parents taught them about commitment.

It helps that he likes cats and dogs. And travel. And anything I cook. Lately. Early on, I'm not so sure.

[Taltarzac725]

From Pittsburgh. We'll be married 47 years in August. My divorced friends used to tell me how lucky I was to have my husband. So true. But I did point out it takes two to tango. Our two sons and their spouses say they are the only ones of their friends whose parents have had just one marriage. I like to think the examples shown by the three sets of parents taught them about commitment.

It helps that he likes cats and dogs. And travel. And anything I cook. Lately. Early on, I'm not so sure.

If a girlfriend is still holding the cutlery after making the meal and I am trying it; I am making her out to be usually the next Top Chef.

[Henryk]

Well said.

It is our first marriage, but it is more luck than sense on my part to have found him when I was not old enough yet to know what a prize he was and is. And before he knew what a ....load I am.

Many of our friends have been divorced a couple of times. And many are widowed. Many are living together as a couple to preserve their inheritances for their heirs.

Sometimes I think that the only folks who want to get married anymore are gay.

Gracie darling, Honey and I have been together since 1976; we got married in 2004 when several brilliant Massachusetts Supreme Court justices declared it unconstitutional to deny marriage rights to same-sex couples. I knew he was he right guy then, and haven't dated another man since.

[graciegirl]

Gracie darling, Honey and I have been together since 1976; we got married in 2004 when several brilliant Massachusetts Supreme Court justices declared it unconstitutional to deny marriage rights to same-sex couples. I knew he was he right guy then, and haven't dated another man since.

Love is a wonderful thing. Marriage is a complicated thing. Many of us have managed to circumvent the roadblocks and find enduring happiness. I am grateful and happy to be around people who enjoy each other and live comfortably together.

I am thinking that our happiness has more to do with luck than sense. Many of our friends didn't find the right person on their first try, but are happy in their second or third marriage. Some are living with people that are very challenging.

I celebrate your happiness HenryK. The love of my life is named Henry too.

[dewilson58]

Happy Wife, Happy Life.

If my Bride is happy, I B 2.

Thru thick or thin..............but we don't talk about who is thick or thin.