Is there any way this ends well?

[golow]

Adult (40+) sibling is coming to “visit” my parent. He has no home, no job or willingness to get one, no apparent assets or way to support himself. Is there any way this ends well?

[CWGUY]

Adult (40+) sibling is coming to “visit” my parent. He has no home, no job or willingness to get one, no apparent assets or way to support himself. Is there any way this ends well?

:ohdear: Yes, you take good care of yourself and your parent. Period. Good luck.

[manaboutown]

I am sorry to hear of this which is all too common these days. As CWGuy said, take care of yourself and your parent's interests.

[Taltarzac725]

Adult (40+) sibling is coming to “visit” my parent. He has no home, no job or willingness to get one, no apparent assets or way to support himself. Is there any way this ends well?

Good luck with this sibling of yours. There are many kinds of support groups in and around the Villages. He may want to check these out or your parents might. They list a lot of these on certain days in The Villages Daily Sun.

[Trayderjoe]

Adult (40+) sibling is coming to “visit” my parent. He has no home, no job or willingness to get one, no apparent assets or way to support himself. Is there any way this ends well?

I am afraid the odds are against it ending well. Based upon your description, it doesn't sound as if your sibling can support them-self and may be looking to your parent to enable their lifestyle choice.

As others have said, good luck.

[Wiotte]

Adult (40+) sibling is coming to “visit” my parent. He has no home, no job or willingness to get one, no apparent assets or way to support himself. Is there any way this ends well?



No.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[gadaboutgal]

Yes. As your parents age, there may come a time when they will welcome an in-home caretaker. Perhaps that is just what your sibling will find as his vocation in life. Don't judge (lest you be judged) and let them work out their arrangement between them.

[bagboy]

Adult (40+) sibling is coming to “visit” my parent. He has no home, no job or willingness to get one, no apparent assets or way to support himself. Is there any way this ends well?

You are very wise to be concerned. Hopefully your parent can make it clear it's a short visit. Good luck !!!

[ColdNoMore]

Adult (40+) sibling is coming to “visit” my parent. He has no home, no job or willingness to get one, no apparent assets or way to support himself. Is there any way this ends well?

The "ending" is all dependent...on how your parents choose to handle it.

Good luck.

[Bay Kid]

We will always love our children and we hope our children will always love us. Give love a chance.

[retiredguy123]

The only way it will end well is for your parent to set a duration for the visit and strictly enforce it.

[vintageogauge]

I think possibly there is more to the story than described. There is always a reason a person is in the position that your sibling is in. Fill in the blanks for a better selection of answers.

[Chatbrat]

If your sibling has a criminal history, drug problem and or an alcohol problem--nothing will be pleasant--you have been warned--be realistic & proactive

[jsw14]

I think possibly there is more to the story than described. There is always a reason a person is in the position that your sibling is in. Fill in the blanks for a better selection of answers.

Me too, what state is he com'in from? How is he get'in here? Maybe a Bus Ticket... I'll bet on one thing, that he has a Cell phone.....:ohdear:

[villagetinker]

OP, as mentioned above be proactive, possibly contacting a local lawyer to discuss ways to limit or completely block access to your parents assets, bank accounts, credit cards, etc. I do not like to think in the negative, but if this goes badly, you and your parents could take a significant financial hit. There have been a few stories along these lines recently. You can determine how far you and your parents need to go after getting legal advice.
I hope this helps, and I hope this works out well.

[CFrance]

OP, as mentioned above be proactive, possibly contacting a local lawyer to discuss ways to limit or completely block access to your parents assets, bank accounts, credit cards, etc. I do not like to think in the negative, but if this goes badly, you and your parents could take a significant financial hit. There have been a few stories along these lines recently. You can determine how far you and your parents need to go after getting legal advice.
I hope this helps, and I hope this works out well.

I agree with this, and also with giving it a chance. However, you can still give love a chance simultaneously with making sure your parent's checkbook and credit card are not anywhere that he can get to.

[manaboutown]

I hope your parents have an inventory of their possessions and all of their financial records, checkbooks, credit cards and the like are under lock and key.

Are you concerned about their personal safety?

[jsw14]

Adult (40+) sibling is coming to “visit” my parent. He has no home, no job or willingness to get one, no apparent assets or way to support himself. Is there any way this ends well?

We here in TOTV need more Info on this....Can U do that?? Please...

[DonH57]

The only way it will end well is for your parent to set a duration for the visit and strictly enforce it.

That's true. When the roll of toilet paper is gone, so is he!:ho:

[HOPSKIPJUMP]

Have you thought about buying a new car and running sibling over?

[perrjojo]

I have read your other posts so I don’t think you are a troll. I do think there is more to know about the story for anyone to advise you. But, on the surface I would say .probably not.

[Villageswimmer]

I have read your other posts so I don’t think you are a troll. I do think there is more to know about the story for anyone to advise you. But, on the surface I would say .probably not.

Yes...more to the story. How do your parents feel about this? Are they able to set boundaries?

[jsw14]

SO many Question's....Where is the OP>>> Golow???

[Fredster]

Adult (40+) sibling is coming to “visit” my parent. He has no home, no job or willingness to get one, no apparent assets or way to support himself. Is there any way this ends well?
It possibly could end well, but before it does it could get quite messy if your sibling has any type of chemical dependency problem.
Years ago, I worked with a fellow who's adult daughter had a chemical dependency problem,
and he had tried to get her straightened out but to no avail.
In fact he had given up! She ended up staying in the home of her grandparents,
in short order she stole their car, totalled it and ended up in the hospital. Plus she was in big trouble with the law.
Well the good ending was after that happened it was finally enough for her to seriously get help
and try to straighten out her life. After many months she was sticking to it.
Unfortunately it usually takes pretty tough consequences to motivate people to change!

[DonH57]

Have you thought about buying a new car and running sibling over?

Why ruin a new car's finish and he'd better get it right the first time. What's happened? Did I talk out loud again?

[golow]

Thanks for everyone’s input. It is very welcome. I love the diversity of thought.

Substance abuse: No problems here… that I know of.

He has had decent jobs in the past, but the past few years there has been a lack of desire to take a lesser job to pay bills. And a steadily declining financial situation.

Interstate transport isn’t very expensive, there’s apparently enough $ to get him here, but probably not much more than that.

I am not concerned about the personal safety of parents; financial safety is a different question.

No, I am not a troll.

[big guy]

Give him a time limit to find a job.....2 weeks. Give him responsibilities around the house. Can't believe parents are afraid to talk to their kids and tell them like it is. How does he support himself wherever he is coming from?

[Schaumburger]

Hopefully your brother will be able to get a job within a few weeks after moving into your parents' home. If he is able to land a job, your parents may consider charging him room and board, even if it is just $25/week. Perhaps he should be paying for half of the utility bills.

He should also be pitching in for household chores, cleaning, cooking, laundry, yard work, etc.