The contant mention of grandkids!!

[AbbyPye]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

[Two Bills]

I find the subject of grandchildren a far better subject than a persons latest medical problem or procedure.
I have found that picking ones nose, farting loudly, and scratching my nuts, quickly finishes any undesired conversations.
Billy no mates.

[Dusty_Star]

I find the subject of grandchildren a far better subject than a persons latest medical problem or procedure.
I have found that picking ones nose, farting loudly, and scratching my nuts, quickly finishes any undesired conversations.
Billy no mates.

:1rotfl:

[BigSteph]

I understand what you are saying.

The problem with this post is that the reader will personalize what you said and may be offended. If you have kids and grandkids, it will probably offend you.

I think the answer to your question/assertion is that people are proud of their kids and grandkids.

My wife and I decided not to have children. When we gather with others, especially when people are lubricated, they talk with less inhibition about the things that interest them.

I have experienced what you have experienced. People tend to want to talk about how special, in some way, their children and grand children are. I get it, they are proud, and this person is important to them.

Some people love small talk. I like it for a few minutes. If you are going to be social it is just something you that will be part of the conversation -- like taxes, aches and pains, golf swings, those other political people, and children.

It is what it is.







Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

[Bugface]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

I don’t think I completely understood till I had my own grandchildren. I certainly love and admire my adult children but I ADORE my grandchildren. I think when you feel such overwhelming love for people in your life, you can’t help but talk about them - it just brings you happiness to even think about them.

[golfing eagles]

This a post that I will just have to bite my tongue and ignore.

[frayedends]

Good grief. You are complaining that people talk about their grandkids. Ridiculous. Perhaps instead we should talk about politics or religion ? People talk about what’s important to them. Friends listen.

[cjrjck]

I've lived here in TV for over 5 years and can't remember ever talking with anyone about my grandkids. My wife has quite a bit. However, if anyone asks, I could go on and on about them ad nauseum. So, if we ever meet, it might be best to steer clear of that subject.

[ElDiabloJoe]

I understand what you are saying.

The problem with this post is that the reader will personalize what you said and may be offended. If you have kids and grandkids, it will probably offend you.

I think the answer to your question/assertion is that people are proud of their kids and grandkids.

My wife and I decided not to have children. When we gather with others, especially when people are lubricated, they talk with less inhibition about the things that interest them.

I have experienced what you have experienced. People tend to want to talk about how special, in some way, their children and grand children are. I get it, they are proud, and this person is important to them.

Some people love small talk. I like it for a few minutes. If you are going to be social it is just something you that will be part of the conversation -- like taxes, aches and pains, golf swings, those other political people, and children.

It is what it is.

^Concur 100%, am in the same boat as BigSteph. Most people named Stephanie don't like to be called "Big." Perhaps short for Stephen? Or a surname like Jack Stephanovich?

[asianthree]

Well many we encountered only have grand dogs. Would much rather see a cute pic of that ballerina, then 20 pics of dogs. Now puppies are a different story.

Then again I truly will walk away when any medical discussion comes up. It’s just not kosher to say “you are a hypochondriac, or you need a different practice”

[shut the front door]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

You are not just dreaming it up. I can't count the number of times I've been bombarded with stories and pictures of grands by total strangers! I was in a waiting room this week and a woman sat down next to me and immediately started babbling on and on about her grandkids. She expected me to be in awe of the endless pictures she kept shoving under my nose. I finally had to fake a phone call and move away from her.

[Topspinmo]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

Most don’t care what others have to say, just what they say. Me is more important than them!:a040:

[Velvet]

When we have socials etc and someone brings up family we have never met, there is a silent response. Very soon they notice and become silent themselves. Or someone else brings up a topic we are all interested in. Now if we happen to know these kids or grandkids because they visit the neighbor, then we are interested!

[rustyp]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

I am suspecting another underlying message here. The answer is too easy - make friends with people that share your views/interests and ignore the others. Politics is by far a much more frequent conversation than grandchildren with the boys I hang with.

[DonH57]

I find the subject of grandchildren a far better subject than a persons latest medical problem or procedure.
I have found that picking ones nose, farting loudly, and scratching my nuts, quickly finishes any undesired conversations.
Billy no mates.

LOL! You are too funny. I've met those same people who will tell you how their colonoscopy went and if they probably bought the video! Yes. Those countermeasures usually work to repeal them.:smiley:

[JGibson]

From a physiological perspective many people use kids, grandkids, homes, cars, social status financial status or any other external thing as a way to validate themselves.

Many of these people grew up in a shame and guilt based environment and may have developed low self esteem and insecurities.

So these external things make them whole and gives them some self validation.

Oh course this doesn't apply to everyone who talks about their grandkids but you quickly tell who is using external things to make themselves feel better.

-Dr Drew.

[manaboutown]

Some people are just boring.

[LuvNH]

We are fortunate not to run into people who bore you to death with their brilliant grand children. I have a suggestion for you, but it is not a very nice solution, but it may work. You could wait them out and then ask if they are that amazing how can you bear to be away from them?

[tophcfa]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

Erggggg, you hit a major sore spot. The combination of grandkids and my wife are the primary reason I am not able to spend nearly as much time as I would prefer at our Villages home. What is it with women and the need to constantly be around the kids? To make matters worse, the children keep pumping out the little rug rats like the are friggin pez dispensers. And why can’t they all be born on the same day so we don’t have to go to a dam birthday party almost every frikin month of the year? I’m getting tired of the hassle, time, and expense of traveling between our homes because of grandkids. HUMBUG!

[fdpaq0580]

LOL! You are too funny. I've met those same people who will tell you how their colonoscopy went and if they probably bought the video! Yes. Those countermeasures usually work to repeal them.:smiley:

If we ever meet, say " hello ", not "how are you". I assure you that the response will be appropriate to your greeting.

[fdpaq0580]

Erggggg, you hit a major sore spot. The combination of grandkids and my wife are the primary reason I am not able to spend nearly as much time as I would prefer at our Villages home. What is it with women and the need to constantly be around the kids? To make matters worse, the children keep pumping out the little rug rats like the are friggin pez dispensers. And why can’t they all be born on the same day so we don’t have to go to a dam birthday party almost every frikin month of the year? I’m getting tired of the hassle, time, and expense of traveling between our homes because of grandkids. HUMBUG!

OMG! That is very funny and very sad all at the same time. Your wife sounds like she needs a sense of purpose tied to here to give her a reason to stay.

[Gpsma]

Id rather hear about grandkids than golfers complaining

[fdpaq0580]

AbbyPye,

I understand completely. As one who without children of our own, the (what seems like) constant conversations involving kids and grandkids (and Lord help us, dogs/granddogs[?]) can overwhelm one. The problem is that "conversation" is a give and take, two way thing. When the subject is all about something you don't have, you are effectively shut out. The opportunity to add much is severely limited. But, there are some who prefer it that way. Then they can hog the conversation and turn it into a lecture. They will feel great. You will never get back the time.

[Randall55]

I am blessed to have friends who love their families. In a world that seems to have gone crazy, it is nice to cozy up and enjoy the simple things. Let the talks of war, disease, politics, keeping up with the Jones', and money rest. I prefer to watch a video of a child giggling, any day.

[Gpsma]

Amazing how the childless are so inconsiderate with those that have chosen to have families…families..the backbone of this country.

[JoMar]

Erggggg, you hit a major sore spot. The combination of grandkids and my wife are the primary reason I am not able to spend nearly as much time as I would prefer at our Villages home. What is it with women and the need to constantly be around the kids? To make matters worse, the children keep pumping out the little rug rats like the are friggin pez dispensers. And why can’t they all be born on the same day so we don’t have to go to a dam birthday party almost every frikin month of the year? I’m getting tired of the hassle, time, and expense of traveling between our homes because of grandkids. HUMBUG!

Sounds like you are an enabler....lol. My wife goes up serveral times a year....I go once. The kids and grandkids come here to visit. It's important to her, now so much to me. So there is no need for me to go.

[Velvet]

AbbyPye,

I understand completely. As one who without children of our own, the (what seems like) constant conversations involving kids and grandkids (and Lord help us, dogs/granddogs[?]) can overwhelm one. The problem is that "conversation" is a give and take, two way thing. When the subject is all about something you don't have, you are effectively shut out. The opportunity to add much is severely limited. But, there are some who prefer it that way. Then they can hog the conversation and turn it into a lecture. They will feel great. You will never get back the time.
Well yes, but it takes another person to listen. You can always say, “Oh dear, I forgot to do something, I better do it right now!” As you get up and leave the situation (that is what you forgot to do).

[ThirdOfFive]

Well, as Mom used to say, "you'd b!tch if you were hung with a new rope".

As other posters have mentioned, our age group is prone to gripe. Health as mentioned is a biggie but so are the neighbors, the weather, poor service in restaurants, shops or wherever, the price of _____, how TV is infested with incompetent drivers, etc. etc. ad endless nauseam. Hearing something positive, even if it is about grandkids, comes under the heading of welcome change.

[Ecuadog]

I find the subject of grandchildren a far better subject than a persons latest medical problem or procedure.
...

My mother would call them "organ recitals".

[Happydaz]

My wife and I feel that having five sons, five daughters in law, and fifteen grandchildren is the most important and gratifying part of our lives. (Besides each other!) But I learned a lesson recently when I was out socializing with my bike club after a ride. I was going on about having children and grandchildren and how this was by far the most gratifying thing in our lives. I did begin to notice that one woman become somewhat perplexed and confused that I would say that. Later her husband drew me aside and said that too much self disclosure may not be the best conversation starter. (They have no children) I agreed with him and now I try to limit my conversations to what interests others. If they want to talk family then I can do that too, but I need to be more considerate and not talk incessantly about subjects that may not interest everyone. Now I try to talk about golf, sports, stock market, etc. Everyone gets to choose how they want to their lives. My way is just one path.

[justjim]

A Community like The Villages is an interesting place. Residents come from many different parts of the country with background and experience that can be shared and make our lives more interesting and knowledgable. I have met a lot of people here just like that. However, I have met some who would rather talk about kids, grand kids and dogs/cats. Yeah, that can be a bit boring sometimes. I know you want to say “can’t you talk about something else part of the time”?

OP, that said, I’m thinking that maybe there should be a social club for residents who don’t have kids or grandkids. There are several hundred clubs in The Villages but I don’t know of such a club. “Birds of the same feathers flock together”. BTW we consider ourselves fortunate to have four talented grandchildren.

[Stu from NYC]

This a post that I will just have to bite my tongue and ignore.

Will tend to not want to be around people who do not share similar interests.

[Velvet]

Dale Carnegie said the secret of making friends and influencing people is to talk about what the other person wants to hear.

[frayedends]

Dale Carnegie said the secret of making friends and influencing people is to talk about what the other person wants to hear.

It seems to me the topic of this thread is directed toward small talk with new people. I guess I have to assume these folks don't want to make friends.

What I try to do (although I'm not always successful) is to listen more. We so often get caught up in conversations where, instead of listening, we are thinking about what we want to say next. Instead try to listen. Then when you hit it off with someone and make a friend, listen more. And while empathizing with their failures/troubles is a good thing, it is more important to celebrate their victories with them. That might just include their grandkids victories.

[coffeebean]

You are not just dreaming it up. I can't count the number of times I've been bombarded with stories and pictures of grands by total strangers! I was in a waiting room this week and a woman sat down next to me and immediately started babbling on and on about her grandkids. She expected me to be in awe of the endless pictures she kept shoving under my nose. I finally had to fake a phone call and move away from her.

Seriously? Who does that to a stranger? I'm talking about the woman who bombarded you with photos of her grandkids. (not you with the fake phone call).

[coffeebean]

Erggggg, you hit a major sore spot. The combination of grandkids and my wife are the primary reason I am not able to spend nearly as much time as I would prefer at our Villages home. What is it with women and the need to constantly be around the kids? To make matters worse, the children keep pumping out the little rug rats like the are friggin pez dispensers. And why can’t they all be born on the same day so we don’t have to go to a dam birthday party almost every frikin month of the year? I’m getting tired of the hassle, time, and expense of traveling between our homes because of grandkids. HUMBUG!

Would Facetime suffice? Silly question. I guess not. Answered my own question.

[coffeebean]

My mother would call them "organ recitals".

Ecuadog.....who is the latest celebrity in your avatar photo. I KNOW his face but cannot place the name.

[Ecuadog]

Ecuadog.....who is the latest celebrity in your avatar photo. I KNOW his face but cannot place the name.

Today, it was Arnold Stang.

Arnold Stang video... click here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uv7lwm6_QE).

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

I have little interest in kids, on a personal level. If you tell me your grandchild graduated high school and got a full 4-year academic scholarship to MIT, and is already working on her first thesis on the cure for cancer, I'm all ears. If Jimbob Junior has been encountering bullies in 5th grade because he has two moms, I'll help you empathize for your daughter's family and maybe even bake some rainbow sprinkled cookies for your birthday as a gesture of solidarity.

I frankly don't give a crap how cute she is, or how nicely he shares with his siblings, or how far each of the twins threw the baseball at their Kiddie League game last week. I care about how children become adults, not what antics they get into. If you show me pictures I'll eventually just zone out. If you can tear your own eyes from your cell phone photo gallery you'll notice that mine have glossed over and my face has a distant expression on it. As if I were fantasizing about weeding my garden, which would be infinitely more interesting than Susie's new onesies.

[CFrance]

I usually end up mentioning that our four- and seven-year-old grandchildren are feral. It's a conversation stopper.

[patfla06]

We talk about our kids and grands because they’re important to us.
At 3 & 6 years old, I’m certainly not bragging about their accomplishments.

If you want to talk about BORING, talking about your golf game has
to top the list.

[kendi]

I understand what you are saying.

The problem with this post is that the reader will personalize what you said and may be offended. If you have kids and grandkids, it will probably offend you.

I think the answer to your question/assertion is that people are proud of their kids and grandkids.

My wife and I decided not to have children. When we gather with others, especially when people are lubricated, they talk with less inhibition about the things that interest them.

I have experienced what you have experienced. People tend to want to talk about how special, in some way, their children and grand children are. I get it, they are proud, and this person is important to them.

Some people love small talk. I like it for a few minutes. If you are going to be social it is just something you that will be part of the conversation -- like taxes, aches and pains, golf swings, those other political people, and children.

It is what it is.

No offense taken. Most understand it can get old hearing about the same subject over and over no matter the content.

[Ele201]

Bragging about anything, going on and on, especially to people you don’t know well, is in bad taste and gets monotonous. And it’s not just grandkids.

For example, someone’s on a new diet and can’t stop talking about it. My husband has a friend who presented us with a photo album filled with pictures of every room in her new house. After the third page, I stopped with the “ooh’s and ahh’s.” Who cares?

[RoadToad]

"Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people." -
- Eleanor Roosevelt.

[GizmoWhiskers]

Maybe there could be a loofa for "Don't mention grandkids" or invest in t-shirts that say the same? There is a reason T V is called the "friendliest" town. Thinking the Founders of T V would certainly tell people about their grandkids. There is always that fake call. Move AWAY... VERY far away.

San Diego 1987, just stepped back on US soil from a tour in the Philippines with our then 9 month old baby girl. She was so cute, best baby ever, kept us up at night... oops, my apologies, squirrel...

In the PI they adored kids! You could eat at a restaurant and the girls would hold your baby for you.

Fast forward back to San Diego.

We were walking on the pier and a guy walks by. Makes a fake gun w his hand gesture shooting our baby in the head. We wanted right then to go back to the PI. WHERE WERE WE, what country were we in?

Feel free to walk away from lowly time wasting convo about precious humans. Yes, create a club, pick a loofa color.

Btw, I have 4 amazing grandkids now. And I have 4 amazing grand-fur babies. Which would you like to hear about?

Great, a chair just opened up for someone else to sit in...

[Bellavita]

I guess I don’t understand why this is an issue.

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

[KenLee100]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

My wife and I have 4 sons and 24 grandchildren. If we are talking about antique cars or baseball you would never know. Stay away from topics that include family or a reason for making the world a better place and you should be ok.

[JanetH]

I don’t think I completely understood till I had my own grandchildren. I certainly love and admire my adult children but I ADORE my grandchildren. I think when you feel such overwhelming love for people in your life, you can’t help but talk about them - it just brings you happiness to even think about them.
I’m gonna talk about my grandkids . Most times not for long . Hey I’m not for everyone but my grandkids are my greatest blessing .

[Laker14]

this thread reminds me of the two or three people who would include, in their Christmas card mailing, a two page essay on all of the amazing accomplishments of each family member. "Timmy continues to excel in his Boy Scout exploits, earning merit badges in...blah blah blah"
One year, as a joke, I included one of those and made up (well they weren't all made up, some actually happened but I chose to hide those events in a group of made up bad things) a bunch of unfortunate things my kids had accomplished in the past year. "Mikey continues to get caught shop-lifting adult movies from the local smut shop"....I thought it was hysterical. Nobody sent me their glory reports after that.

[rustyp]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

What are you trying to accomplish - change the entire population of TV ? You have started 6 threads on this exact subject thus far. Load pictures of a dog into your phone. When confronted with grandchildren talk whip out your dog pics.Fight fire with fire. Reading through your past posts some items just don't add up - example your second post on TOTV you signed as PAT. In this post you refer to PAT as your partner. What are the odds both of you are Pat's ? Is it Patrick and Patricia ?

[bjansson]

I find the subject of grandchildren a far better subject than a persons latest medical problem or procedure.
I have found that picking ones nose, farting loudly, and scratching my nuts, quickly finishes any undesired conversations.
Billy no mates.
:shocked::):1rotfl::coolsmiley:

[birdawg]

I’ve found that I like dogs better than kids. But keep them both off my lawn. Let’s start a dog walking post. 🤪

[msilagy]

People miss their children and grandchildren so they love showing pictures and mentioning them. If you don't want to partake just excuse yourself from the conversation and begin a conversation about what interests you, which by the way others might not cherish. I think this was a ridiculous post. Not only that fact but your intention. My suggestion would be to start a club for couples without children! That would most likely solve your issue.

[crash]

This a post that I will just have to bite my tongue and ignore.

I am with you.

[Ele201]

this thread reminds me of the two or three people who would include, in their Christmas card mailing, a two page essay on all of the amazing accomplishments of each family member. "Timmy continues to excel in his Boy Scout exploits, earning merit badges in...blah blah blah"
One year, as a joke, I included one of those and made up (well they weren't all made up, some actually happened but I chose to hide those events in a group of made up bad things) a bunch of unfortunate things my kids had accomplished in the past year. "Mikey continues to get caught shop-lifting adult movies from the local smut shop"....I thought it was hysterical. Nobody sent me their glory reports after that.
Haha! Yes I’ve received those long letters too, tucked into a Christmas card. Not too many of these though, thankfully!

[Greg L]

Maybe it is a father thing but I definitely love my children more than my grandchildren. I never bring up the subject of either tho unless you are foolish enough to ask.

[Cobullymom]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!
What's your point? Are you so bothered with this it's affecting your life? Do you think it will be read and everyone will stop talking about their grandkids? I don't have any, but someone being proud of kids and grandkids doesn't disturb me. There is so many other things that are truly disturbing to be concerned about...smdh

[motherflippinpicker]

Most people live a long way from their kids and grandkids; talking about them keeps them close. They cherish their family. That's what life is truly all about.

[seecapecod]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!
Perhaps you don’t have grandchildren? I would say you are hearing pride in their stories and some sadness about the decision to move away from them. As a Grammy of 5 ages 4-18 it’s tough to miss attending their games, dance recitals, school events.

[Pat2015]

How about just not reading or posting threads about kids and/or grandkids, and hang out with people like yourself? The rest of us will carry on!

[coconutmama]

No offense taken. Most understand it can get old hearing about the same subject over and over no matter the content.

Bingo!

[airstreamingypsy]

I have a grandchild and a great grandchild, it would never occur to me to talk to people about them, unless they ask. I suppose since I'm not interested in yours, I assume people aren't interested in mine. When people talk about theirs all I hear is blah blah blah blah blah. I think everyone should ask themselves, if what they are talking about is of any interest to the person they are talking to.

[Salty Dog]

My wife and I decided not to have children.


Same here...

[DonnaNi4os]

How sad that this topic has prompted you to post it here in this forum. I have 8 grandkids and one in Heaven. I also have 3 that are my son-in-law’s that I consider mine as well. If you don’t like hearing about other’s joy I suppose you could walk away. Those of us who talk about our grandkids love them dearly and also miss them. Merry Christmas. Bah humbug

[fdpaq0580]

I usually end up mentioning that our four- and seven-year-old grandchildren are feral. It's a conversation stopper.

ROFLMAO!,,

Please allow me to use that. I'd love to see the look on someone's face. OMG!

[Marmaduke]

When we have socials etc and someone brings up family we have never met, there is a silent response. Very soon they notice and become silent themselves. Or someone else brings up a topic we are all interested in. Now if we happen to know these kids or grandkids because they visit the neighbor, then we are interested!
I was going to say the same exact thing. It's hard to act interested when you have never met ANY or these kids.

I guess some people worlds are small and people talk about what is super important to them.

To hear about 'Billy' playing soccer for his high school this year, when ẃe have never met Billy is okay until it morphs into one story, after another, on every grandkid who no one in our group has ever met is hard to take.

I actually feel the same about people who want everyone to love THEIR dog. It is your Dog, not mine.
No apology- I don't really care about your dog, especially if you dress them up and put them in a baby carriage. We'd rather hear about your "grands". lol

[Barryb46]

We have a rule that limits conversations about grandkids to two and medical issues to one!

[DonnaNi4os]

From a physiological perspective many people use kids, grandkids, homes, cars, social status financial status or any other external thing as a way to validate themselves.

Many of these people grew up in a shame and guilt based environment and may have developed low self esteem and insecurities.

So these external things make them whole and gives them some self validation.

Oh course this doesn't apply to everyone who talks about their grandkids but you quickly tell who is using external things to make themselves feel better.

-Dr Drew.

Dr Drew, grandkids certainly don’t “validate” me. I don’t need anything to do that as I value myself as an individual. When I speak of my kids and my grandkids it is because I am sharing something that brings me joy.There is no “guilt base” or low self esteem, or insecurity. I honestly can’t believe that you wrote this and believe it. When I speak of my family it is simply out of love. And sometimes I talk about the ways they concern me and other times I talk about those things that make me proud. Some people can psychoanalyze just about anything. Geez

[DonnaNi4os]

Erggggg, you hit a major sore spot. The combination of grandkids and my wife are the primary reason I am not able to spend nearly as much time as I would prefer at our Villages home. What is it with women and the need to constantly be around the kids? To make matters worse, the children keep pumping out the little rug rats like the are friggin pez dispensers. And why can’t they all be born on the same day so we don’t have to go to a dam birthday party almost every frikin month of the year? I’m getting tired of the hassle, time, and expense of traveling between our homes because of grandkids. HUMBUG!

How very sad for you

[DonnaNi4os]

i am blessed to have friends who love their families. In a world that seems to have gone crazy, it is nice to cozy up and enjoy the simple things. Let the talks of war, disease, politics, keeping up with the jones', and money rest. I prefer to watch a video of a child giggling, any day.

amen!

[fdpaq0580]

How sad that this topic has prompted you to post it here in this forum. I have 8 grandkids and one in Heaven. I also have 3 that are my son-in-law’s that I consider mine as well. If you don’t like hearing about other’s joy I suppose you could walk away. Those of us who talk about our grandkids love them dearly and also miss them. Merry Christmas. Bah humbug

To mention your kids/grandchildren in passing is one thing. To talk about them endlessly is like listening to someone talk about their money. It gets old real fast. Particularly to those of us who have no children for whatever reason. Imagine that all your your kids were in Heaven, then listening to someone bragging on their kids might even be painful. I'm happy for you, but don't rub it in.

[nob77@comcast.net]

since my partner pat and i settled within the villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so i won’t think that i am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

smh!!

[Velvet]

Of course people feel proud of their family, but when you are talking about a topic that doesn’t interest the other people, why would you expect them to listen to you? Write it down and later give it to one of your kids who probably would really appreciate it. However, if you can come up with an entertaining story (for the other people) about the grandkids, dogs, etc then go ahead, we’re listening!

[defrey12]

This a post that I will just have to bite my tongue and ignore.

Me too…

[ffresh]

I am blessed to have friends who love their families. In a world that seems to have gone crazy, it is nice to cozy up and enjoy the simple things. Let the talks of war, disease, politics, keeping up with the Jones', and money rest. I prefer to watch a video of a child giggling, any day.

I have ALWAYS felt that relationships are the most important thing we humans (and animals) have in our lives. Faith, family and friends ... what could be more important during our brief temporal existence? And, yes, "friends" do listen when the conversation turns to these topics. Although I'll grant you some folks don't know when to "zip it" :shocked:

Fred

[PurePeach]

Seriously? Who does that to a stranger? I'm talking about the woman who bombarded you with photos of her grandkids. (not you with the fake phone call).

Had that happen to my husband and me yesterday. We were getting our car serviced and the receptionist at the dealership was checking the coffee machine and was talking nonstop when she suddenly got a text from her daughter with a picture of her grandson. She promptly showed us the picture, then proceeded to tell us how wonderful he was as she pulled up more pictures. FINALLY, she got the message from our expressions that we really weren’t interested in looking at the pictures and put them away to do her job with the coffee machine.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

I'm okay with my neighbor telling me about how her grandson's enjoying the new car that I saw him drive off in when he came to visit a few months ago. I'm fine with my other neighbor telling me about how her nephew is with a new girl, because the one I met when they visited last time was a toxic waste of oxygen, and the new one has a job and they're pooling their funds together for an apartment soon.

What bothers me, is when a bunch of us get together, and they are ALL talking about nothing but their grandkids, how adorable they are, how one just learned to talk, another banged into the car and got a bump on her head when she was learning to ride a tricycle... y'know, all the things that EVERY little kid experiences, that we have ALL heard adults talking about since WE were little kids experiencing those exact same things.

I've been hearing people telling the same stories for 62 years. Now that I'm retired, and living in a 55+ community where toddlers are welcome to visit but not to live - I kinda just don't want to hear it anymore.

[rustyp]

I'm okay with my neighbor telling me about how her grandson's enjoying the new car that I saw him drive off in when he came to visit a few months ago. I'm fine with my other neighbor telling me about how her nephew is with a new girl, because the one I met when they visited last time was a toxic waste of oxygen, and the new one has a job and they're pooling their funds together for an apartment soon.

What bothers me, is when a bunch of us get together, and they are ALL talking about nothing but their grandkids, how adorable they are, how one just learned to talk, another banged into the car and got a bump on her head when she was learning to ride a tricycle... y'know, all the things that EVERY little kid experiences, that we have ALL heard adults talking about since WE were little kids experiencing those exact same things.

I've been hearing people telling the same stories for 62 years. Now that I'm retired, and living in a 55+ community where toddlers are welcome to visit but not to live - I kinda just don't want to hear it anymore.

Don't listen. Very curious as to what else you would propose as a reasonable solution to "your problem"? Hypothetically how would one handle a spouse with dementia where you hear the same story 62 times per day ?

[LeRoySmith]

How do you reach that low?

[ouicestmoi]

Direct Approach:
"I appreciate your interest in discussing dogs, kids, and grandkids, but I prefer not to engage in those conversations. Let's focus on [insert preferred topic] instead."

Redirect the Conversation:
"I've been trying to shift my focus to [insert different topic]. Have you heard about [insert alternative subject]? I find it fascinating and would love to discuss it."

Express Personal Boundaries:
"I hope you understand, but I'm not very comfortable discussing dogs, kids, or grandkids. I prefer to keep those aspects of my life private. Let's chat about something else."

Use Humor:
"You know, I'm trying to break my own record for discussing topics unrelated to dogs, kids, or grandkids today. Can we dive into a different conversation?"

Be Honest and Tactful:
"I value our conversations, and I want to be honest with you. I'm not as interested in discussing dogs, kids, or grandkids. I hope you understand, and I'm sure we can find other topics we both enjoy."

It's essential to communicate these preferences with kindness and respect to maintain positive relationships and open communication.

[Rodneysblue]

I find the subject of grandchildren a far better subject than a persons latest medical problem or procedure.
I have found that picking ones nose, farting loudly, and scratching my nuts, quickly finishes any undesired conversations.
Billy no mates..
You had me at picking one’s nose.

[LeRoySmith]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

You are dreaming.

I don't have grandkids and I don't want to hear people go on about them endlessly but I certainly understand the love and pride they hold. I don't have a dog or a cat but there's nothing I'd rather do than meet a new doggo and enjoy a pet and scratch. I'd much rather hear about kids, grandkids or pets than I would about the latest political farce, stock trend or oh poor me underrepresented group of society.

Get over yourself, if you don't want to hear it remove yourself from the situation. Also, know that many people don't want to hear about many of the ridiculous problems some people have dreampt up about themselves or their messed up situation.

Family and relationships are what count. If you don't have them or want to build them I'd say that's your issue not everyone else's.

You just moved to a place where the majority of the occupants want to talk about their family and you don't like it, who has the problem?

[danamees]

I would so much rather hear about kids/grandkids than the constant talk about Covid and the latest boosters....

[SouthJerseyGirl]

The fact that this bothers you at all, and the fact you felt the need to post about it is - well - just ridiculous.

[coffeebean]

Today, it was Arnold Stang.

Arnold Stang video... click here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uv7lwm6_QE).

YES! Thank you!

"A show-stopping comic for decades, the inimitable Arnold Stang, with the trademark Runyonesque voice and thick, black glasses, started out famously on radio before branching out to include Broadway, films and especially TV".

[coffeebean]

Today, it was Arnold Stang.

Arnold Stang video... click here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uv7lwm6_QE).
I remember the commercial. Thanks for that.

[Keefelane66]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!
Sorry for you missing out on the joy.

[JMintzer]

Some of the responses in this thread...

If people talking about their grandchildren is the worst thing that happens to you in the course of your day, you've led a charmed life...

(And no, I don't have any grandchildren... Yet...)

[DonnaNi4os]

Some of the responses in this thread...

If people talking about their grandchildren is the worst thing that happens to you in the course of your day, you've led a charmed life...

(And no, I don't have any grandchildren... Yet...)

Good response

[buzzy]

Good grief, people. The original poster has ignited a firestorm, and never came back. Based on their posting history, they have an unhealthy attitude about the subject. It's time to say "I don't feel like talking about it anymore."

[fdpaq0580]

Sorry for you missing out on the joy.

No, you're not. Not really.

[fdpaq0580]

Don't listen. Very curious as to what else you would propose as a reasonable solution to "your problem"? Hypothetically how would one handle a spouse with dementia where you hear the same story 62 times per day ?

Apples and oranges. One you don't care much about. The other you, hopefully, love (or loves you).

[rustyp]

Apples and oranges. One you don't care much about. The other you, hopefully, love (or loves you).

I equate the entire conversation to bananas, I stand by an earlier post I made - there is more than meets the eye here. The OP has started this thread 6 times before. I wish the best to all they find peace and happiness in this holiday season and the winter of their lives.

[Escape Artist]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

This is akin to a previous generation constantly showing photos/Polaroids of their grandkids or better yet home movies on the old Super 8! There have been many sitcoms from yesteryear about this topic, which is boring the pants off of people you don’t know that well with tales of your family members.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

Sorry for you missing out on the joy.

People have their own "joy." I'm not missing any of yours.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

Don't listen. Very curious as to what else you would propose as a reasonable solution to "your problem"? Hypothetically how would one handle a spouse with dementia where you hear the same story 62 times per day ?

That has nothing to do with the topic.

How would you handle me telling you all about the color, size, shape, and consistency of my cat's poops in her litter box? It's probably not something you really care to hear about. So why should I have to hear about the size, color, shape, and consistency of your newborn granddaughter's first dirty diaper?

Answer: I shouldn't. But for some reason, grandparents tend to think these kinds of things are just adorable and MUST tell all their friends all about it.

[dhdallas]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

It may be that your upbringing was not the same as these family centered people's experiences and that can make it annoying to hear their latest family news. A secret envy of another's closeness with their family may also factor into it. And if a person is childless, it can hurt to hear stories of another's joy they experience having children and grandchildren.
Family oriented people have the utmost respect and unconditional love for their families, and it shows. This is one of those signs you can't deny when you find yourself in the presence of a family oriented individual.
When one of the family members accomplishes something (no matter how big or small), they'll be glowing with pride (like that achievement is yours) and love to share their joy & excitement. These families thrive on emotional connection and understanding. They’re fully engaged with their children and grandchildren and are there for the small moments. Children know they can count on a parent or grandparent to notice the little wins, like learning to ride a bicycle or tying shoelaces correctly.
Distance can be hard when family members are separated due to their occupation, retirement, etc. Talking to others about their children or grandchildren's latest achievements or antics help miss them a little bit less. Now with technology advances, families can have video chats as often as they like.
So, that is my take on those who are proud of their family and want to share. If you want any of these people for friends just grin & bear it & try to see it from their point.

[Happydaz]

No, you're not. Not really.

Your opinion. My opinion and feelings are that having my large family is the most joyful thing in my life. I love seeing my children raising their offspring and the grandchildren are an absolute joy to be around. But again that is my opinion. You are entitled to your opinion as nurturing a large family is not for everyone. I can see that incessantly talking about what interests me can be very boring to others and to be a good conversationalist I try to talk about what interests others. I look to find common interests and not launch into a monologue.

[PrettyPatti]

[QUOTE=golfing eagles;2284200]This a post that I will just have to bite my tongue and ignore.[/QUOMerry ChriTE]

[DonnaNi4os]

To mention your kids/grandchildren in passing is one thing. To talk about them endlessly is like listening to someone talk about their money. It gets old real fast. Particularly to those of us who have no children for whatever reason. Imagine that all your your kids were in Heaven, then listening to someone bragging on their kids might even be painful. I'm happy for you, but don't rub it in.

I have a grandchild in Heaven. I understand from your message that your children have passed. My deepest sympathies to you. It isn’t the way it is supposed to be.

[lpkruege1]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

You should be happy they're telling you about their grandchildren. It probably means they like and trust you. People talk about things they love and what brings happiness to their hearts. Unhappy people have a hard time understanding that. They'd rather talk about their misery, they want to share what makes them unhappy, after all, misery makes them happy. So be thankful they aren't sharing the story about their Grandchildren stories over hemorrhoids., gout, hernia, or STD. Be happy for them and with them.

[DianeP]

We personally have 2 grandchildren ages 3 & 5 who we adore and love wholeheartedly , however they never usually come up in conversation when out with friends.

Do my friends know they exist, yes from pictures on our walls 💕

[DianeP]

That has nothing to do with the topic.

How would you handle me telling you all about the color, size, shape, and consistency of my cat's poops in her litter box? It's probably not something you really care to hear about. So why should I have to hear about the size, color, shape, and consistency of your newborn granddaughter's first dirty diaper?

Answer: I shouldn't. But for some reason, grandparents tend to think these kinds of things are just adorable and MUST tell all their friends all about it.

Wow if that’s the conversations you are always having with friends you need to find some new ones. I have 2 small grandkids and never have brought up diaper **** with any of them. Are you sure it’s their grandkids diapers they are talking about 🧐

[PJfromCincy]

Old people talk about the grandkids and their medical issues. Get over it! It's a RETIREMENT community!

[kyralud]

I completely agree with Two Bills… I totally would rather hear about and see pictures of grandchildren than discuss medical ailments, politics, poor golf cart drivers, barking dogs, bad neighbors and other issues that seem to occupy some Villagers time.
The future is in these children and they need all the love and support from family and strangers that they can get. If you don’t want to hear about children , walk away. I feel sad that this is a complaint you have. Grandparents should be an integral part of a child’s life if at all possible. Everyone benefits. Plus grandparents that are part of their grandchildren’s lives live a happier and longer life.
Show me all the pictures of your sweet grandkids you want. I’d love to hear about them!

[fdpaq0580]

I have a grandchild in Heaven. I understand from your message that your children have passed. My deepest sympathies to you. It isn’t the way it is supposed to be.

Thank you. Maybe not the way it is supposed to be, but it is what it is. Everybody gets a seat at the table, But, not everybody is delt the same hand.

[Decadeofdave]

We don't have grandkids, just smile and listen. Part of life.

[paqdkq]

Abby. You apparently don’t have grandkids

[fdpaq0580]

I completely agree with Two Bills… I totally would rather hear about and see pictures of grandchildren than discuss medical ailments, politics, poor golf cart drivers, barking dogs, bad neighbors and other issues that seem to occupy some Villagers time.
The future is in these children and they need all the love and support from family and strangers that they can get. If you don’t want to hear about children , walk away. I feel sad that this is a complaint you have. Grandparents should be an integral part of a child’s life if at all possible. Everyone benefits. Plus grandparents that are part of their grandchildren’s lives live a happier and longer life.
Show me all the pictures of your sweet grandkids you want. I’d love to hear about them!

While that may all be true, it doesn't paint the complete picture. All members of the family are important within the family. But, not everyone you meet is part of the family. They have families of their own, or not, and may not (big surprise here) be particularly interested in yours.
By all means you should enjoy and participate with your family.
Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year, to you and yours.

[Velvet]

It may be that your upbringing was not the same as these family centered people's experiences and that can make it annoying to hear their latest family news. A secret envy of another's closeness with their family may also factor into it. And if a person is childless, it can hurt to hear stories of another's joy they experience having children and grandchildren.
Family oriented people have the utmost respect and unconditional love for their families, and it shows. This is one of those signs you can't deny when you find yourself in the presence of a family oriented individual.
When one of the family members accomplishes something (no matter how big or small), they'll be glowing with pride (like that achievement is yours) and love to share their joy & excitement. These families thrive on emotional connection and understanding. They’re fully engaged with their children and grandchildren and are there for the small moments. Children know they can count on a parent or grandparent to notice the little wins, like learning to ride a bicycle or tying shoelaces correctly.
Distance can be hard when family members are separated due to their occupation, retirement, etc. Talking to others about their children or grandchildren's latest achievements or antics help miss them a little bit less. Now with technology advances, families can have video chats as often as they like.
So, that is my take on those who are proud of their family and want to share. If you want any of these people for friends just grin & bear it & try to see it from their point.

Sorry, I see it more as ME, ME, ME! MINE, My DNA. Admire me!

Again, if you know the family members yourself, or you are close to your friend and delight in their joy, that is completely different from the circumstances that people are complaining about here. Can’t you see that too much pride can be an ugly thing?

[jimjamuser]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!
It is too easy for someone to be offended if you start a serious conversation. So people "bite their tongues" and keep their conversational subjects as light as possible.

[Deden]

stop complaining

[macawlaw]

Two observations. First, most people talk about what they know. While we have owned our home here for almost four years, DH and I retired 8 days ago. This is our first extended time here.

My limited experience is that 75% of the women I have met have not worked outside of the home. Their children and their grandchildren have been their lives. That is what they know and talk about.

I love to talk about my children and when asked about them, I do. Depending on my relationship with the other person determines how much information they get.

Second, most of my interactions have been fairly superficial. As most people our age have children/grand children, it’s an easy conversation starter since it is usually a commonality.

[Michael 61]

Two observations. First, most people talk about what they know. While we have owned our home here for almost four years, DH and I retired 8 days ago. This is our first extended time here.

My limited experience is that 75% of the women I have met have not worked outside of the home. Their children and their grandchildren have been their lives. That is what they know and talk about.

I love to talk about my children and when asked about them, I do. Depending on my relationship with the other person determines how much information they get.

Second, most of my interactions have been fairly superficial. As most people our age have children/grand children, it’s an easy conversation starter since it is usually a commonality.

Just 8 Days! Congratulations on your retirement! And welcome to your first “extended “ time here in The Villages - I hope you will be able to more fully immerse yourself in all that The Villages has to offer!

Retirement is the best!

[rustyp]

Just 8 Days! Congratulations on your retirement! And welcome to your first “extended “ time here in The Villages - I hope you will be able to more fully immerse yourself in all that The Villages has to offer!

Retirement is the best!

And don't forget the many activities scheduled for the grandchildren at Camp Villages Dec 27 and 28.

[Velvet]

Two observations. First, most people talk about what they know. While we have owned our home here for almost four years, DH and I retired 8 days ago. This is our first extended time here.

My limited experience is that 75% of the women I have met have not worked outside of the home. Their children and their grandchildren have been their lives. That is what they know and talk about.

I love to talk about my children and when asked about them, I do. Depending on my relationship with the other person determines how much information they get.

Second, most of my interactions have been fairly superficial. As most people our age have children/grand children, it’s an easy conversation starter since it is usually a commonality.

Makes sense, but where are you? On my street there is not one stay-at-home mom. There is a very successful Wall St banker, she started out with humble origins, a lady who ran a very profitable caregiving business, two teachers, a marine, a rental business owner, 2RNs, one social worker etc etc. Their husbands all worked too before retirement. They have for the most part large extended families. I can hear the lady (RN) behind my house giggling with delight because her family has come to visit. My other neighbor’s grand kids are under 5 and are playing ball on my back lawn. Their grandmother was also a career woman. Nothing wrong with staying at home, only I don’t know anyone who did.

Oh, our interactions are definitely not superficial those kids on the lawn they are playing with the ball I got them.

[VApeople]

I was raised in Fort Myers and started at Univ. of Florida in 1963.

My friend from St, Petersburg said that every time he went downtown some old person wanted to show him pictures of their grand-children.

So this problem has been around for a long time.

[Escape Artist]

This is kind of a silly topic especially during the holidays. I also doubt the veracity of the OP’s claims as I never experienced it nor has anyone else I know. Either they are constantly encountering bizarre, oversharing residents or they are exaggerating just to start (yet another) controversial thread about an otherwise mundane subject.

[fdpaq0580]

stop complaining

Where is the fun in that?

[fdpaq0580]

This is kind of a silly topic especially during the holidays. I also doubt the veracity of the OP’s claims as I never experienced it nor has anyone else I know. Either they are constantly encountering bizarre, oversharing residents or they are exaggerating just to start (yet another) controversial thread about an otherwise mundane subject.

Consider yourself lucky. I, for one, completely understand OP's , dare I call it a "rant".? But I also understand there are lonely people who have no one close and are in need of a little human contact and simply want to share.

[fdpaq0580]

'Tis the season! Best wishes for Joyful Holidays.
Be kind and caring to one another. Extend a kind word for you never know who needs one.

[Smalley]

I absolutely agree that it can be a big bore to hear more than a sentence or two about someone's grandchildren. It's also thoughtless to bring up the subject with folks who don't have grandchildren. We would of course answer questions, but we don't bring up the subject of grandkids. I want to learn about the folks I'm talking to and get to know them a bit better. That's my goal.

[darkim]

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

Don't feel bad ... I probably wouldn't like to hear about what excites you either 🤢

[DARFAP]

I find the subject of grandchildren a far better subject than a persons latest medical problem or procedure.
I have found that picking ones nose, farting loudly, and scratching my nuts, quickly finishes any undesired conversations.
Billy no mates.
Well said

[Keefelane66]

Not only do we talk about our grandchildren also nieces and nephews.

[fdpaq0580]

Not only do we talk about our grandchildren also nieces and nephews.

Great! And I can tell you all about our teddy bears and their adventures and accomplishments.

[coffeebean]

Had that happen to my husband and me yesterday. We were getting our car serviced and the receptionist at the dealership was checking the coffee machine and was talking nonstop when she suddenly got a text from her daughter with a picture of her grandson. She promptly showed us the picture, then proceeded to tell us how wonderful he was as she pulled up more pictures. FINALLY, she got the message from our expressions that we really weren’t interested in looking at the pictures and put them away to do her job with the coffee machine.

Oh my goodness!

[coffeebean]

.
You had me at picking one’s nose.

One word for Two Bills.......hilarious! LOVE reading his posts.

[haysus7]

Most people live a long way from their kids and grandkids; talking about them keeps them close. They cherish their family. That's what life is truly all about.

You sound like a great person

[Rosethorn]

To mention your kids/grandchildren in passing is one thing. To talk about them endlessly is like listening to someone talk about their money. It gets old real fast. Particularly to those of us who have no children for whatever reason. Imagine that all your your kids were in Heaven, then listening to someone bragging on their kids might even be painful. I'm happy for you, but don't rub it in.

This.

Thank you.

I don’t talk about my own family for lots and lots of deeply personal reasons. Plus I recognize some folks are working really hard to survive the holidays.

[Doro22]

Well many we encountered only have grand dogs. Would much rather see a cute pic of that ballerina, then 20 pics of dogs. Now puppies are a different story.

Then again I truly will walk away when any medical discussion comes up. It’s just not kosher to say “you are a hypochondriac, or you need a different practice”

lol! We have friends (or perhaps I should say ‘had friends) traveling in their RV stop close by & we go visit them to see the set up. We picked them up & we all go out to dinner here in The V. They are traveling with their cats & proceeded to show us many photos of the said cats. LOL. Talk about boring. So then when we took them back to the RV one of the cats was sitting in the window. She says: “you want to come in to see the cats?” The cats were hiding when we went over earlier thus the invite to come in. We declined.

[Rainger99]

You should buy this shirt. Maybe they will get the hint.

After I say “that’s crazy” twice, please, wrap ur story up | Adult Unisex T-Shirt | Crew Neck | short sleeve (https://www.mandaandallisapparel.com/listing/758452332/after-i-say-thats-crazy-twice-please)

The shirt can be used for stories about grandkids, dogs, politics, etc.

[Pairadocs]

I find the subject of grandchildren a far better subject than a persons latest medical problem or procedure.
I have found that picking ones nose, farting loudly, and scratching my nuts, quickly finishes any undesired conversations.
Billy no mates.

SO much better than listening to a non stop reiteration of every ailment, doctor, medical test, and medication. Ours (grands) are mostly grown now, but we LOVE hearing (and I might say, seeing the latest pictures) of our friends and neighbors grands and even great grands. If one is the type of person who does want to limit friends to specific topics, perhaps I'd say ONCE, " you know, don't want to come off as rude, but the subject of children and grand children is one I (or we) just don't find engaging for adult conversation. If the friends don't honor that, it's easy, just distance yourself, it's not that complicated ! Personally, when one moves deliberately to a senior community, one could expect one of the common themes (and more interesting than medical woes) would be grand children, jobs, moved, etc. of adult children, etc.

[Pairadocs]

I equate the entire conversation to bananas, I stand by an earlier post I made - there is more than meets the eye here. The OP has started this thread 6 times before. I wish the best to all they find peace and happiness in this holiday season and the winter of their lives.

Hummm.... six times previously ? That's why is had that strange "tone" perhaps. Wonder what is actually psychology behind it all.... lol ? Seems there is something deeper as you hinted. Peace, joy, and comfort, and perhaps even tolerance and understanding to all.

[Pairadocs]

Good grief. You are complaining that people talk about their grandkids. Ridiculous. Perhaps instead we should talk about politics or religion ? People talk about what’s important to them. Friends listen.

You said it well, "friends" listen. Surely there are enough people living here now that childless couples, or singles, who do NOT want to run around with folks who do have, love, are proud of their children and grand children, can find a large group of friends for whom these things are not an important part of the lives ? Have you ever had to sit and listen to folks who talk about the dogs as if they are actual human beings ? Hear about the logistics of arranging "play dates" for them with their friends, planning their birthday parties, their latest health issues, and so on ? I just accept one of my best friends is consumed with her dog above all else, even above her adult sons (it seems to me), so I could stop being her friend, or, I can listen and drink my coffee....LOTS of fill ups... Lol !

[Pairadocs]

Your opinion. My opinion and feelings are that having my large family is the most joyful thing in my life. I love seeing my children raising their offspring and the grandchildren are an absolute joy to be around. But again that is my opinion. You are entitled to your opinion as nurturing a large family is not for everyone. I can see that incessantly talking about what interests me can be very boring to others and to be a good conversationalist I try to talk about what interests others. I look to find common interests and not launch into a monologue.

Oh dear, you're explanation is just too reasonable, just makes too much sense...LOL.... listen to new folks you meet, talk some, listen much, and try to find some clues to common interests: grand kids who joined the military and you are a veteran, golf of course, symphony, boating, trying area restaurants outside the villages ? If you can't find anything, just don't from a close friendship !

[Eg_cruz]

I don’t think I completely understood till I had my own grandchildren. I certainly love and admire my adult children but I ADORE my grandchildren. I think when you feel such overwhelming love for people in your life, you can’t help but talk about them - it just brings you happiness to even think about them.
Agree
My daughter yesterday call my grandson the “Chosen One” because I just think he is the best 🤣😂🤣😂

[fdpaq0580]

Every family loves their children. Every family thinks theirs are special. Every family lives in Lake Woebegon, where all the women are beautiful, all the men are strong and all the children are special. (Apologies to Garrison Keillor)