PDA

View Full Version : Ever had problems with your printer?


LI SNOWBIRD
06-13-2011, 05:32 PM
This is what is going on in ypour computer:

Computer:Monitor, display this document, ok?

Monitor: No prob, boss.

Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?

Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.

Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now?

Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir.

Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK?

Mouse: Of course.

Keyboard: Sir, he’s pressed control and P simultaneously.

Monitor: Oh God, here we go.

Computer: i>sighs Printer, are you there?

Printer: No.

Computer: Please, Printer. I know you’re there.

Printer: NO! I’m not here! Leave me alone!

Computer: Jesus. OK look, you really ne…

Mouse: Sir, he’s clicked on the printer icon.

Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.

Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don’t want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I’m turning off!

Computer: Printer, you know you can’t turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we’ll leave you alone.

Printer: NO! That’s what you always say! I hate you! I’m out of ink!

Computer: You’re not out of in…

Printer: I’M OUT OF INK!

Computer: span style=“font-style: italic;”>Sighs Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.

Monitor: But sir, he has plen…

Computer: Just do it, damn it!

Monitor: Yes sir.

Keyboard: AHHH! He’s hitting me!

Computer: Stay calm, he’ll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.

Keyboard: He’s pressing everything. Oh god, I don’t know, he’s just pressing everything!

Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you’ve done?!

Printer: HA! that’s what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he…hey…HEY! He’s trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh my god! He’s torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR!

Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him?

Computer: No. He did this to himself.

PylutDood
06-14-2011, 09:17 AM
...my computer runs sooooooo slooooowwwwww.

Damn "Chain of Command" slows EVERYTHING down!

skyguy79
06-14-2011, 01:13 PM
I'd be laughing but for the fact that it's so true. I have this going on all the time with one additional element thrown into the mix. My printer is wireless and part of my network! I don't print a lot and when I go to print something I find that my printer went on vacation and I have a heck of a time getting it to come back and do it's job. As for the network, like many other things today, it feels that there's not enough work for it to justify keeping all connections on board. So it cuts back to save and the printer is lowest on the totem-pole!
:Screen_of_Death: