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View Full Version : Gray Hair -- Fight It or Give In?


Schaumburger
01-28-2012, 11:03 PM
In the past year, I've been noticing quite a bit more gray hair. I get it colored about every 7 weeks (I've tried the home coloring route, but I'm hand challenged and getting it colored professionally looks better for me). When I'm up to the 7 week mark the gray hair is getting pretty noticeable -- at least it is to me.

So for the ladies of TOTV -- do most of you fight the gray hair or embrace it? And if you did eventually embrace the gray hair at what age did you start embracing it?

Looking at photos of a few prominent women in politics: Nancy Pelosi age71, Hillary Rodham Clinton age 64, Michele Bachman age 55, Jan Brewer age 67, I don't see a lot of gray hair on these ladies. Do you think they are coloring their hair or just very fortunate? And at the age of 65+ does a head of entirely dark brown hair or golden blond hair look realistic/natural?

Just wondering what the ladies of TOTV think about this.

Barefoot
01-28-2012, 11:23 PM
Of course the prominent women you mentioned don't colour their hair. :a20:

A lot of Villagers find that highlights are a good solution.

KatzPajamas
01-28-2012, 11:37 PM
For the last 10 years, I got highlights and something called a glaze (it slowly washes out instead of having an abrupt line of gray hair). It has now been close to 6 months since I had any highlights or glaze done, and I have quite alot of gray around my face. My family is supportive of me going gray, especially my husband. I have also had a few compliments from friends about it.
My 82 year old mother in law still has her hair dyed on schedule. It is supposed to be a dark red, but often is dark purple instead. Either way, it is a stark contrast to her very pale complexion. She thinks the lack of gray makes her look younger, while most of the family thinks it makes her face look older. One hs to wonder if the soft gray isn't nature's way of helping us not look like we are off to Trick or Treat.

gerryann
01-29-2012, 12:06 AM
I died my hair for many years, then decided to let it go natural. Turned out it was completely white and I liked it. Then I moved back by my daughter. The first thing she said when she saw me was.....Mom, I have a good hairdresser. Well, I gave in and last December (2010), I started dying it again. ( a fairly light blond). Well now I'm staying here in TV and seeing many.many woman with shiny white, beautiful hair. So, I decided just yesterday to let it go natural again. When I go back to my daughters and she tells me she doesn't like it...I will tell her it's ME, and if she doesn't like it........oh well...... :ohdear:

TrudyM
01-29-2012, 03:28 AM
I got tired of the roots always showing and went white quite awhile ago. It was still grey in the back up till about 5 years ago. I started going grey at 18 so dyed it for a long time. Let it go natural when I hit 40 by then it was mostly white. I am lazy however and a little cheap (ok alot cheap) so I also wear it very long. I guess I am stuck in the 60's. If it's short I need to perm it another reason I stopped coloring it at the time I was perming it and it was getting too dry with both dyeing and perm. I have notice that more women are letting it go white at least around here but back when I let mine go natural everyone thought I was nuts.
Times have changed.
Trudy

ddan32162
01-29-2012, 06:42 AM
I, too, colored my hair for many years. I have (had) very dark natural color, and for quite some time I kept going lighter in order to keep the roots from showing up so quickly. Last year I turned 60, and decided to make the change. First I highlighted - it was okay; then as it grew out, I did the non-permanent color a few times in order to blend in, and now I'm completely natural. Quite a bit of gray, but nicely "highlighted" all by itself. I'm saving a ton of money not getting it colored, and I feel super about how I look. I don't have the body of a 30 something, so why should my hair look like a 30 something! ! !

Uptown Girl
01-29-2012, 08:11 AM
In my professional (retired) opinion, there are a number of things to consider, like:
What color is the grey around your face.... sparkly or battleship dull?
What color are your eyebrows.... getting grey there?
What is your base skin tone? Have you noticed it change?
What shape is your hair in now? Has continual chemical work compromised it?
Would you change your hairstyle if you were suddenly completely grey?

Here's something to try:
Put on your makeup, then wrap a black towel, sweat shirt, whatever you have that's black, around your head turban-style so just the grey shows around your face. Stand back and observe for a moment. Imagine you are meeting YOU for the first time. What stands out? Does the grey throw focus to your eyes? Smile?

My hair was always long and dark brown/black. My intention was to grey naturally, but as that happened, it looked pretty bad and everyone continually said I looked tired...
so I began to dye.
Being in 'the industry' I couldn't EVER attend my clients with ugly roots hanging out of my head, so my touch-ups were frequent... every 2 weeks.
It became a pain in the butt and even with the finest products my hair and scalp were bombarded too often for my personal comfort.

Upon deciding to move to TV, I wore a baseball hat until my roots were grown out enough, gave myself a pixie and styled it disheveled a bit while it grew to a manageable length. It was the most efficient way to make the transition. (especially from my brunette color)

The freedom of it all is a wonderful thing, and my husband loves my new look. In fact, I get compliments on my hair from perfect strangers all the time. It sparkles in the sun and looks even better with a little Florida tan.
:)

DandyGirl
01-29-2012, 10:00 AM
I started going gray/white around my face in my 30's so I started coloring. What a chore to keep it up cause my hair grows fast. After having chemo for breast cancer in 2009, I decided when my hair comes back it will be natural. Love my salt & pepper hair (heavy on the salt!) The hubby loves it too.

graciegirl
01-29-2012, 10:03 AM
I started going gray/white around my face in my 30's so I started coloring. What a chore to keep it up cause my hair grows fast. After having chemo for breast cancer in 2009, I decided when my hair comes back it will be natural. Love my salt & pepper hair (heavy on the salt!) The hubby loves it too.

Here is a huge hug from two girls who lost their hair to chemo. Hair is so nice to have in the winter to keep your head warm in Ohio..who knew?

So glad your hair is back.

Gray, grayish, blonde, white...any color...celebrate who you are and be glad you are here!

Gracie and daughter Helene.

Happinow
01-29-2012, 10:50 AM
Gracie I just knew you were a survivor! I can tell it in your positive attitude. Bless your heart and your daughter's heart. I lost a sister to cancer.

As for the gray hair?? I think some women can wear it distinctively and some....well....should get it colored. I guess it depends on how you feel with gray hair. If it doesn't bother you than keep it. If it doesn't make you feel good about yourself then color it. Just remember it's not what's on the outside, it's what's on the inside......

I'm not going to say if I color mine or not! Oh I must come clean, I do color it, but just around the edges!

sandybill2
01-29-2012, 11:35 AM
I was going regularly to hairdresser to have my hair "highlighted." My granddaughter looked at me one day and asked "Grandma, why are you paying to have your hair highlighted---when you have natural highlights? I stopped having my hair highlighted after she asked that question. Of course, my natural highlights are gray but I am happy aging as gracefully as I can---and I am saving money by not having highlights done which gives me more to spend on the good life here in The Villages.

DandyGirl
01-29-2012, 11:56 AM
Here is a huge hug from two girls who lost their hair to chemo. Hair is so nice to have in the winter to keep your head warm in Ohio..who knew?

So glad your hair is back.

Gray, grayish, blonde, white...any color...celebrate who you are and be glad you are here!

Gracie and daughter Helene.

Hugs back to you girls too!

debzaranti
01-29-2012, 12:51 PM
I've always had long hair and started to grey in my 20s. Dyed it for about 25 years (dark warm brown), had to dye it every 3 weeks because of the amount of white showing upon grow-out. One day I took a really close look at myself in the mirror in some harsh, bright light...and came to the realization that the dark hair wasn't fooling anybody about my age but me! The "roadmap" that is my face told the truth of the years. LOL!

Had my stylist whack it off to about 1" all over my head (cut off most of the color), then let it grow back long, but it's natural color. Does it make me look older, yeah, maybe...but I AM OLDER NOW!! I do get compliments on the natural color...surprisingly a lot of them are from men (women too)! Who knew men even noticed a woman's hair color?? :icon_wink:

I'd say, go for it....try grey. If you hate it, go back to coloring it. Be aware, however, you may need to change your make-up and clothing colors once you go grey. If your colors are too subtle, you look washed-out. Too bright and you look like you belong on Clown Alley. It's a fine line there! LOL! Good luck.

Schaumburger
01-29-2012, 05:18 PM
Ladies, thank you for the feedback. I will probably fight the fight for a couple more years...or maybe next week I will decide to let nature take it's course. :undecided: Wondering how much genetics plays a part...my dad was almost totally gray by his mid-forties. My mom didn't start getting gray hair until she was in her early 50's, and went gray very slowly through
her 50's.

De Lis
01-29-2012, 08:30 PM
We retired in the summer and moved to The Villages at the same time. Haven't dyed my hair since; the game is over and I don't have to try to look younger or "more caring" about my appearance. I just want to age gracefully and with dignity. I keep my hair trimmed regularly and think it looks great. What more would I want? Those are my personal thoughts.

Question ladies: Why does our culture always talk about "anti-aging" products? Why can't we refer to them as "aging gracefully" products? As Baby Boomers can't we control this factor? I just find it demeaning.

campy
01-29-2012, 08:40 PM
I stopped coloring my hair in my early 50s. I never got compliments about my hair while I was coloring it but get so many compliments since I stopped. My hair looks and feels healthier. I earned these grays and wear them with pride. Check out
Your Photos Anne Kreamer Anne Kreamer (http://www.annekreamer.com/going-gray/your-photos)
to see some before and after looks.

gerryann
01-29-2012, 09:18 PM
Kathy Bates looks great in "Harry's Law"!

De Lis
01-29-2012, 09:19 PM
Thanks for the pictures - I love viewing the differences - it such an incentive!

Barefoot
01-29-2012, 10:50 PM
I stopped coloring my hair in my early 50s. I never got compliments about my hair while I was coloring it but get so many compliments since I stopped. My hair looks and feels healthier. I earned these grays and wear them with pride. Check out
Your Photos Anne Kreamer Anne Kreamer (http://www.annekreamer.com/going-gray/your-photos)
to see some before and after looks.

Thanks for the photos. I think gray hair looks spectacular on anyone, any age, if they have a youthful -looking face. As we age and our skin fades, we definitely need to abandon the darker, harsher colours.

CMANN
01-30-2012, 01:47 AM
In the past year, I've been noticing quite a bit more gray hair. I get it colored about every 7 weeks (I've tried the home coloring route, but I'm hand challenged and getting it colored professionally looks better for me). When I'm up to the 7 week mark the gray hair is getting pretty noticeable -- at least it is to me.

So for the ladies of TOTV -- do most of you fight the gray hair or embrace it? And if you did eventually embrace the gray hair at what age did you start embracing it?

Looking at photos of a few prominent women in politics: Nancy Pelosi age71, Hillary Rodham Clinton age 64, Michele Bachman age 55, Jan Brewer age 67, I don't see a lot of gray hair on these ladies. Do you think they are coloring their hair or just very fortunate? And at the age of 65+ does a head of entirely dark brown hair or golden blond hair look realistic/natural?

Just wondering what the ladies of TOTV think about this.


Do you like grey hair?

Do you want grey hair?

If No, Color it.

Learn to do it yourself.

Everyone will know. Nobody will care.

If you dont need to color your hair, everyone will think you do, anyway.

Just some thoughts.

Yankee Quilter
02-06-2012, 11:35 AM
I have done the highlites occasionally and do like it, but the gray is coming in silver and is already starting to highlight the curls ... so when people ask who colors my hair I tell them Mother Nature!!! She has also given me the curls - they are curly in GA and bet they will be tighter in FL!!! Love humidity!!! So eventually you will see a silver, curly headed frog in Charlotte!!!!

Gracie, thanks for sharing - love your posts and as it has been said, you are inspirational....

bevlaur
02-06-2012, 01:59 PM
Love the gray hair after many years of coloring. Now find, however, letting it grow a little longer has resulted in "yellowing". Now doing numerous things downloaded from the internet to try to get rid of the yellow, which is worse than when I was coloring it. Any suggestions?

campy
02-06-2012, 06:45 PM
bevlaur,
Use a shampoo or conditioner with blue in it. Clairol has a product called Shimmering Lights that I use. KC

Cynbod
02-06-2012, 07:09 PM
Love the gray hair after many years of coloring. Now find, however, letting it grow a little longer has resulted in "yellowing". Now doing numerous things downloaded from the internet to try to get rid of the yellow, which is worse than when I was coloring it. Any suggestions?

I have let my hair go natural for at least 5 years. I also always kept it short. Maybe 5 months ago I decided to let it grow in a bit. I have also noticed a yellowing. Everone likes it longer and no one has mentioned the yellow, but I still see it. Suggestions?

Francie
02-06-2012, 09:24 PM
My Mom never died her hair and my Dad never asked her to dye it. She was so beautiful that going gray never seemed like a negative thing to me. I'v never had a perm and never had my hair colored. Guess I have "virgin hair" and my stylist just told me my hair is very health. Ladies, you are all beautiful however you wear your hair. We are all born in the image and likeness of God our creator and that is all we need. You are beautiful!

mac9
02-06-2012, 10:26 PM
My hair started turning gray when I was 15. Became a blonde and have been ever since. As I get older, I've gone from golden blonde to an ash blonde and will continue to do it. I often get compliments on my "natural" hair. Mr.Mac9 and I get a real chuckle from it. My hairdresser tells me that my hair is very healthy. She doesn't colour it; I do it myself. I say to each his own.
Life is too short to worry if your socks match...do what you want and makes you happy!

TrudyM
02-07-2012, 01:31 AM
Love the gray hair after many years of coloring. Now find, however, letting it grow a little longer has resulted in "yellowing". Now doing numerous things downloaded from the internet to try to get rid of the yellow, which is worse than when I was coloring it. Any suggestions?

I either use a shampoo with a touch of blue as suggested but I also find that some of the anti build up cleansing shampoos (nutrigina or swave) work now but I am now in the Pacific Northwest. I had a real trouble with the yellow when I lived in areas that had sulfur in the water I don't remember is there sulfur in TVs water like alot of fla?

LvmyPug2
02-10-2012, 07:54 PM
Thank you ladies. I have been trying to decide whether to let my hair go natural or not. I've started going blonde a few yrs ago and I am tired of the every 5 wks dye job but I'm also a tad nervous about being a "dingy" grey. I'm 58 but have decided that when I turn the big 60 I'm going natural. Your comments make me eager to get there.

pooh
02-10-2012, 08:25 PM
When I was in my teens, my dark brown hair took on auburn highlights each summer. In my teens and early 20's, I'd color my hair to get that color year round, not to cover the gray. Got tired of that and stopped. Haven't colored my hair for what seems like forever, but one of my faborite hair colors is the salt and pepper look....and right now, I have that, well, maybe a bit more salt than pepper. When hair is curled, the dark color shows more, when I don't curl it the gray shows up more.
I've been blessed with shiny hair and still have that so coloring isn't something I want to do...hair never had quite the sheen it normally has when I colored it.

Barefoot
02-10-2012, 08:54 PM
I'm 58 but have decided that when I turn the big 60 I'm going natural. Your comments make me eager to get there.

Bravely done, good for you. Sadly, I'll probably be subsidizing Miss Clairol until I'm 100.

justanormalgirl
02-10-2012, 09:18 PM
Girls, I am 49 and my hair is silver/white with a little dark blended in and it's all natural. I got my first gray hair at 17, colored for years but gave up about a year or two ago. My hair grows fast and it seemed like I was coloring every 2nd or 3rd week and even though I had gone lighter it was still obvious I was coloring. So, at the nudging of my husband, I quit coloring. I was very insecure at first...I felt like it made me look so much older than I am. But...it's growing on me (pun intended! :D) and the compliments I receive help me feel better about it all!

I wear it like Paula Dean wears hers and, honestly, I love the freedom of not coloring...not to mention the expense and mess of it all. My hair is naturally curly/wavey and layered all over so it styles this way very easily.

But...since my husband is quite a bit older than me and I used to be mistaken for his daughter...I'm a bit suspicious of his motives in wanting me to give up on coloring! ;)

Whatever the reason...the gray is mine...I own it and the thought of going back to the mess and expense of it all just wears me out so...I'll keep my gray! :)

bandsdavis
02-10-2012, 09:33 PM
I know you asked for input from the ladies, but if I may hijack the thread for a minute, please allow me to answer from the men's perspective. You know what the good thing about gray hair is? It's hair!

B.

justanormalgirl
02-10-2012, 09:35 PM
I know you asked for input from the ladies, but if I may hijack the thread for a minute, please allow me to answer from the men's perspective. You know what the good thing about gray hair is? It's hair!

B.

LOL! Good point! :)

diskman
02-10-2012, 09:45 PM
In the past year, I've been noticing quite a bit more gray hair. I get it colored about every 7 weeks (I've tried the home coloring route, but I'm hand challenged and getting it colored professionally looks better for me). When I'm up to the 7 week mark the gray hair is getting pretty noticeable -- at least it is to me.

So for the ladies of TOTV -- do most of you fight the gray hair or embrace it? And if you did eventually embrace the gray hair at what age did you start embracing it?

Looking at photos of a few prominent women in politics: Nancy Pelosi age71, Hillary Rodham Clinton age 64, Michele Bachman age 55, Jan Brewer age 67, I don't see a lot of gray hair on these ladies. Do you think they are coloring their hair or just very fortunate? And at the age of 65+ does a head of entirely dark brown hair or golden blond hair look realistic/natural?

Just wondering what the ladies of TOTV think about this.

Go gray look 80, dye it and look 50. Whats the question save a few bucks or feel great inside. :blahblahblah::blahblahblah::blahblahblah::spoken:
Bev

gerryann
02-10-2012, 11:11 PM
Go gray look 80, dye it and look 50

Are you really serious? I'm sure you're kidding.....right?? :shocked:

KateTut
02-26-2012, 08:00 PM
LOL! Good point! :)
Justanormalgirl said:
Whatever the reason...the gray is mine...I own it

Me too! I earned every one of them and don't mind them showing! Now the wrinkly neck stuff ... Not so fond of that!

mr and mrs bike
02-26-2012, 08:57 PM
Interesting topic for us women. A few years ago I didn't want to do highlighting or coloring so I gave it up. My hair was short so it didn't take long for the natural color to appear. My daughter was 36 at the time and one day she mentioned she liked my hair dark. When I told her it was my natural color she was shocked, so was I, seems like for 36 years she had never seen my natural color.
When I went back to my former stylist last week as soon as I saw her I mentioned that I had let my hair go natural since I saw her last ( I figured she would try to talk me into color). Her response was that she loved going ORGANIC !!!!
My husband will ask when I am going to get rid of the gray (I really don't have that much) so I will tell him as soon as he gets rid of his grey nose and chest hair !!!!!!!!!!! End of conversation !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

getdul981
02-26-2012, 09:33 PM
I know you asked for input from the ladies, but if I may hijack the thread for a minute, please allow me to answer from the men's perspective. You know what the good thing about gray hair is? It's hair!

B.

Exactly!! My wife's dad, who died about 10 years ago used to kid me about having gray hair. What hair he had was still brown when died at 85. I would always tell him "At least I have hair".