Bullying

[Sweetgirl]

Most sickening case of bullying. Took place on the school bus, Upstate Rochester NY, town of Greece. Proud Parents? :cus:

Bus monitor bullied by students in Greece, NY; video sparks furor, investigation | syracuse.com (http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2012/06/students_harass_bus_monitor_caught_on_video.html)

[ceejay]

Most sickening case of bullying. Took place on the school bus, Upstate Rochester NY, town of Greece. Proud Parents? :cus:

Bus monitor bullied by students in Greece, NY; video sparks furor, investigation | syracuse.com (http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2012/06/students_harass_bus_monitor_caught_on_video.html)

Horrible...absolutely horrible...that poor woman.

Something has to be done about those kids...it just can't be swept under the rug and forgotten about.

[paulandjean]

Its on Good Morning America right now. This is just sick.The boys dad Dad who was doing most of this is now receiving death threats.What goes around comes around.The school has no coment,they said they are handling it over to its School anti-bully response team, what a joke--- been there done that.

[ijusluvit]

Its on Good Morning America right now. This is just sick.The boys dad Dad who was doing most of this is now receiving death threats.What goes around comes around.The school has no coment,they said they are handling it over to its School anti-bully response team, what a joke--- been there done that.

May I ask how you know that the school's efforts so far to deal with this is "a joke"?

What has the school done, or should have done?

Let's say you're in charge. Please tell me the steps you would take.

[paulandjean]

Yes the schools slow response is a joke. This happened in April. Being a former teacher you cannot touch or show signs of be offensive to another. This young man did attempt to touch her. You may not think that somebody says they would like to burn down your house is not offensive I do.They talked about coming over to her house to do those things and this is not agressive behavior.The bus should have been stopped and school administrators take charge. Police should have been called right there. Teachers cannot touch,put students can? Thinking back to my school years,if that was one of my Nun teachers that I had,that young man would have been slapped for his behavior. One of my former students,now a High School Prin. had his students walking back from the gym one day,after a anti-bully lecture,quess what happened-- 2 girls started a fight with 100 onlookers standing by, caught on tape. Not one of the students looking on said stop this. They played the video for a day by our local paper,until it was pulled. The days of saying "Johnie stop that are over".

[kfierle]

Yes the schools slow response is a joke. This happened in April.

I live and teach about 30 miles from the school district where this incident happened. The response from the school district was not slow. This incident happened Monday, June 18, 2012. The school district became aware of the incident very late in the day.

Within the past hour there was a press conference with the police department and the school district. The district is following the disciplinary rules outlined by New York State. The adult who was bullied has chosen to NOT press charges at this time. She is currently satisfied with what the district is doing. She still has an opportunity to press charges in the future.

What these students did was wrong! Unfortunately, the students and their families have been receiving death threats--another form of bullying.

This incident is being handled by those who know all the facts about what happened. This case should not be tried in this forum.

Here are some links so you may find out additional information:

Link 1 (http://www.13wham.com/news/local/story/Greece-School-District-Holds-Presser-About-Bus/ZoFkTmrkW0iXQmPUlTYviA.cspx)
Link 2 (http://www.13wham.com/news/local/story/school-bus-monitor-bullying-video/CXPLtiulzEuGhmkEz7Y57g.cspx)
Link 3 (http://www.13wham.com/news/local/story/greece-bus-monitor-bullied/By_QBop-kUyMCSNVnNYr-A.cspx)

[Sweetgirl]

Yes the schools slow response is a joke. This happened in April. ".

Just to reiterate what Kfierle is saying. This did not occur in April. This happened the last day of school June 18th. The school and the police are working together. With the world wide attention the school knows it can not let this slide. I believe an example and discipline to deter anything like this from happening again will be imposed. Hopefully it will.

[RichieB]

The last two posters said it better than anyone could.

Stories hit the national news faster than ever, and the further away we are from them, the less we really know.

[paulandjean]

Blame facebook,they said this took place in april. Think this is a good forum to try the case. Why Not?

[bkcunningham1]

I'm not condoning the behavior of the children, but she should be fired. What exactly is her job anyway? Bus monitor? What is that? She obviously doesn't have any respect from the kids and hasn't established any boundaries or rules.

Kids have bullied since the beginning of time and will continue to bully. I'm not forgiving that behavior in the least. I think the problem is adults have forgotten how to be adults. She isn't the right person for that job.

[RichieB]

Blame facebook,they said this took place in april. Think this is a good forum to try the case. Why Not?

I don't look toward Facebook for my news, at least what's important anyway.

[RichieB]

I'm not condoning the behavior of the children, but she should be fired. What exactly is her job anyway? Bus monitor? What is that? She obviously doesn't have any respect from the kids and hasn't established any boundaries or rules.

Kids have bullied since the beginning of time and will continue to bully. I'm not forgiving that behavior in the least. I think the problem is adults have forgotten how to be adults. She isn't the right person for that job.

apparently, the 68-year old grandmother had no authority to take any action, so your point is valid. when I was a kid on a school bus, if things got "out of order," the bus driver, who didn't have a monitor, pulled the bus over to the side of the road, and straightened things out ! That was that !

Times have changed !

[bkcunningham1]

apparently, the 68-year old grandmother had no authority to take any action, so your point is valid. when I was a kid on a school bus, if things got "out of order," the bus driver, who didn't have a monitor, pulled the bus over to the side of the road, and straightened things out ! That was that !

Times have changed !

So what is her purpose on the bus?

[RichieB]

So what is her purpose on the bus?

agreed.

I don't see any problem with a monitor walking the bus to maintain order, but what do I know ?

last time I was on a school bus was about 50 years ago !

this is a sad indicator of the state of affairs in this country, IMO

[paulandjean]

Or any of the goverment workers,lets fire them also. They do not know their jobs as well?

[paulandjean]

PS--- How would you like to teach those kids daily. Thats why teachers get stressed out.

[RichieB]

no kidding.......

[rubicon]

I was born and reared in this area and have familyfrom Syracuse to Rochester. Most Rochester schools are excellent and their teachers extremely proficient. This incident was a quasi-mob type event. I am confident the school will handle the matter properly.

What is not so well known is that the woman bullied is geting donations from all over the country to help her retire. God please let me get bullied.

[RichieB]

What is not so well known is that the womn bullied is geting donations from all over the country to help her retire. God please let me get bullied.

yeah, right. fat chance.

[ilovetv]

Some asked "what good is this person in that job?" or "she's not the right person for that job". Well, I know several school cafeteria/bus monitors and teacher assistants, and they have been told for years to "do nothing" about the students yelling every filthy word known to man at them and the teachers. They have no authority other than what they can muster within themselves and their own personality.

I've heard this same story from various staff and faculty at various school districts...some wealthy and some inner city. A lot of it is rooted in parents who stomp in to the school and claim their child would NEVER do such a thing as that. Eventually many administrators cave in and let the parents have their way. Also, many parents proudly tell their kids ALL about how they got the upper hand with the school administrator or teacher. This empowers the kids. The parents are contributing to them becoming cold-blooded monsters.

[missypie]

Some asked "what good is this person in that job?" or "she's not the right person for that job". Well, I know several school cafeteria/bus monitors and teacher assistants, and they have been told for years to "do nothing" about the students yelling every filthy word known to man at them and the teachers. They have no authority other than what they can muster within themselves and their own personality.

I've heard this same story from various staff and faculty at various school districts...some wealthy and some inner city. A lot of it is rooted in parents who stomp in to the school and claim their child would NEVER do such a thing as that. Eventually many administrators cave in and let the parents have their way. Also, many parents proudly tell their kids ALL about how they got the upper hand with the school administrator or teacher. This empowers the kids. The parents are contributing to them becoming cold-blooded monsters.

These poor kids. They are not lucky enough to have parents that "parent" them. Thus the cycle continues.

[eweissenbach]

Okay, as a teacher and coach for fourteen years and a parent for forty four years I will weigh in. The problem IMO is that discipline has become a prohibited act. I physically restrained kids, and spanked my own back in the sixties and seventies. I also witnessed many paddlings by the asst. Principal for kids who were behavioral problems. I am not a violent person and don't condone abuse, but kids have to have a belief that their bad behavior will be dealt with accordingly. The bus monitor had undoubtedly been told not to
use physical force to restrain or abuse the "children" verbally. She had no recourse but to take the abuse, or be subject to discipline, legal action, and/or firing. The kids know they have all the power - their parents can't use force to discipline them for fear of the family protective services, and the teachers can't discipline them for fear of censure or firing. Besides the fact that the kids get little good counsel at home, because the teachers and school and any other authority is the "enemy". When I was a kid and got in trouble at school I dare not tell my parents or I would get it again. My kids got the same, but that is unfortunately, rare today.

[rubicon]

Okay, as a teacher and coach for fourteen years and a parent for forty four years I will weigh in. The problem IMO is that discipline has become a prohibited act. I physically restrained kids, and spanked my own back in the sixties and seventies. I also witnessed many paddlings by the asst. Principal for kids who were behavioral problems. I am not a violent person and don't condone abuse, but kids have to have a belief that their bad behavior will be dealt with accordingly. The bus monitor had undoubtedly been told not to
use physical force to restrain or abuse the "children" verbally. She had no recourse but to take the abuse, or be subject to discipline, legal action, and/or firing. The kids know they have all the power - their parents can't use force to discipline them for fear of the family protective services, and the teachers can't discipline them for fear of censure or firing. Besides the fact that the kids get little good counsel at home, because the teachers and school and any other authority is the "enemy". When I was a kid and got in trouble at school I dare not tell my parents or I would get it again. My kids got the same, but that is unfortunately, rare today.

old coach: When we were in school the major event that got us in trouble was chewing gum in class. Contrast what is going on now. I guess Dr, spock really didn't know what he was talking about

[eweissenbach]

old coach: When we were in school the major event that got us in trouble was chewing gum in class. Contrast what is going on now. I guess Dr, spock really didn't know what he was talking about

By the way, my kids love me and most of my former students, even, no especially, the ones I disciplined, still call me coach or mr. and greet me enthusiastically every time we meet...................Go figure.

[lovsthosebigdogs]

\I've heard this same story from various staff and faculty at various school districts...some wealthy and some inner city. A lot of it is rooted in parents who stomp in to the school and claim their child would NEVER do such a thing as that. Eventually many administrators cave in and let the parents have their way. Also, many parents proudly tell their kids ALL about how they got the upper hand with the school administrator or teacher. This empowers the kids. The parents are contributing to them becoming cold-blooded monsters.[/QUOTE]

I am a special ed teacher who was frequently called on to 'cover' for the emotional disturbed class when the teacher was absent. That class was like an insane asylum with the students threatening me and body bumping as well as trying to leave the room or throwing things around. One day , with the support of the principal, the police were called. They told us to 'have a little compassion, they were only little children." Even at 11-12 years old they were as tall as I am and much more threatening. They knew the law and talked about vulgar sexual things they wanted to do to me. These are inner city kids with quite a background, not necessarily sexual abuse, and it was VERY scary. They knew we had no recourse because the school district ties your hands and leaves you powerless to do anything and the parents don't support anything you try to do.
Many years before I worked with truly emotionallly disturbed kids who would watch tv on lunchboxes and talk to themselves and be very needy. It was a whole different ballgame from these savy brats who had parental empowerment and had learned to misbehave and work around the system without parental controls.
I will retire very soon and cannot wait. I never thought I would say that. I used to say that teaching was the best job in the world. It was back THEN, but it isn't the same NOW and if you aren't currently teaching, you don't know how it is. Things have seriously changed and continue to deteriorate.

[lovsthosebigdogs]

Okay, as a teacher and coach for fourteen years and a parent for forty four years I will weigh in. The problem IMO is that discipline has become a prohibited act. I physically restrained kids, and spanked my own back in the sixties and seventies. I also witnessed many paddlings by the asst. Principal for kids who were behavioral problems. I am not a violent person and don't condone abuse, but kids have to have a belief that their bad behavior will be dealt with accordingly. The bus monitor had undoubtedly been told not to
use physical force to restrain or abuse the "children" verbally. She had no recourse but to take the abuse, or be subject to discipline, legal action, and/or firing. The kids know they have all the power - their parents can't use force to discipline them for fear of the family protective services, and the teachers can't discipline them for fear of censure or firing. Besides the fact that the kids get little good counsel at home, because the teachers and school and any other authority is the "enemy". When I was a kid and got in trouble at school I dare not tell my parents or I would get it again. My kids got the same, but that is unfortunately, rare today.

I agree 100%. Well said.

[graciegirl]

old coach: When we were in school the major event that got us in trouble was chewing gum in class. Contrast what is going on now. I guess Dr, spock really didn't know what he was talking about

Now Rubicon, don't blame Dr. Spock for lack of discipline, I read his book forwards and backwards and don't recall that. My kids called me "the warden" as their dad was flying all over the country making a living and I was the person in charge. My goal was to prepare them to live with other people and to behave in such a way that other adults liked them. It was easy for me to love them, they were mine, but if they didn't learn to be respectful to me, to teachers, to authority, to the laws, they would not have a reasonably happy life. I smacked fannies, but when they were little and in danger of really hurting themselves or damaging something that we had worked to get. (NOthing wrong with that) I agree with Old Coach but I never wanted my kids to get to school and HAVE to have someone really get after them. And no one did.

We laugh now that they are 46 and 49, (How could THAT be?) My husband says that they were never any trouble, but I can tell you this, they probably avoided being in a penitentiary somewhere ;) because I was a mean mama at times. I would do it all again. I loved them.

Parents sadly, because both work, don't really KNOW their kids like we moms did in the old days and they don't want to break the connection they have by being hard on them about disrespect of others. You know your kids really well, the good, the bad, and the ugly, when you are raising them 24/7.

We met new neighbors building near us and their 30 year old daughter who came with them to help them with the design team. This nice young woman is an engineer. She said that they would love to move close here and be near their parents because she is planning to start a family. I said that sadly those kinds of jobs are hard to come by here, and SHE SAID, "I am going to quit work and raise my children like I was raised." I had just met her, but I hugged her.

I am a simplistic old fool and I know that isn't the whole answer but it worked for me. You have to give up a lot monetarily but the payoff is worth it.

[eweissenbach]

Now Rubicon, don't blame Dr. Spock for lack of discipline, I read his book forwards and backwards and don't recall that. My kids called me "the warden" as their dad was flying all over the country making a living and I was the person in charge. My goal was to prepare them to live with other people and to behave in such a way that other adults liked them. It was easy for me to love them, they were mine, but if they didn't learn to be respectful to me, to teachers, to authority, to the laws, they would not have a reasonably happy life. I smacked fannies, but when they were little and in danger of really hurting themselves or damaging something that we had worked to get. (NOthing wrong with that) I agree with Old Coach but I never wanted my kids to get to school and HAVE to have someone really get after them. And no one did.

We laugh now that they are 46 and 49, (How could THAT be?) My husband says that they were never any trouble, but I can tell you this, they probably avoided being in a penitentiary somewhere ;) because I was a mean mama at times. I would do it all again. I loved them.

Parents sadly, because both work, don't really KNOW their kids like we moms did in the old days and they don't want to break the connection they have by being hard on them about disrespect of others. You know your kids really well, the good, the bad, and the ugly, when you are raising them 24/7.

We met new neighbors building near us and their 30 year old daughter who came with them to help them with the design team. This nice young woman is an engineer. She said that they would love to move close here and be near their parents because she is planning to start a family. I said that sadly those kinds of jobs are hard to come by here, and SHE SAID, "I am going to quit work and raise my children like I was raised." I had just met her, but I hugged her.

I am a simplistic old fool and I know that isn't the whole answer but it worked for me. You have to give up a lot monetarily but the payoff is worth it.

Well said, with love, compassion, and logic, as usual GG. I fear kids are too often raised by others, and the parents, to compensate, give them everything they want and treat them like "buddies". It seems to me that parents are also starting families later in life than in "our day", and I think that sometimes causes them to be more lenient, and being more settled financially, more likely to overindulge the kids. When we started our family we were in our early 20s and, while laking the wisdom of age, we gave our kids love, guidance, and time, as we couldn't afford to hand them off to someone else or over indulge their material desires.

Another influence that occurs to me is the lack of decorum that kids grow up witnessing today. Athletes that yell expletives at opponents that they have beaten, politicians that hurl insults at anyone who dares disagree with them, reality shows that feature boorish and confrontational behavior, and on and on. We grew up on Father Knows Best, and Leave it to Beaver, they are growing up on Jersey Shore, and Housewives of Beverly Hills.

[rubicon]

By the way, my kids love me and most of my former students, even, no especially, the ones I disciplined, still call me coach or mr. and greet me enthusiastically every time we meet...................Go figure.

Its referred to as respect and respect has to be earned. This says much about you. The monitor is up to $440,000 in donations and so again I pray that some kids, please, bully me and then put it on YouTube.

$440,00 in donations blows my mind

[quidam65]

apparently, the 68-year old grandmother had no authority to take any action, so your point is valid. when I was a kid on a school bus, if things got "out of order," the bus driver, who didn't have a monitor, pulled the bus over to the side of the road, and straightened things out ! That was that !

Times have changed !
No kidding.

I was riding the bus home one day when a fight started in the back. She'd only made about two stops (and mine was near the end of the route). But she turned the bus around and drove it back to the school (about 10 miles--I lived in the city) and had the principal take the kids off. Then she returned and finished her route.

Nowadays the parents would complain about their kids coming home late.

BTW I know a family who's grandson was bullied, he ended up hanging himself in a school bathroom.