Old Sayings

[2BNTV]

What are some of the sayings that you remember growing up that you don't hear or seldom hear today?

Inspired by Gracie's - Your mother wears combat boots. :smiley:

[rubicon]

cream always rises to the top

[Taltarzac725]

I'll buy that for a nickel.

[Patty55]

Who died and made you Grace Kelly?

[ajbrown]

My Grandpa used to say “You’ve made your bed now lie in it….”

I have not heard that for a bit, possibly the current day expression is:

You’ve made your bed now find someone to blame or sue :ohdear:.

[Villages PL]

Don't paint yourself into a corner.

[birdawg]

Happy wife Happy life

[asianthree]

Do I have to slap you into next Tuesday.

[skyguy79]

Holy Toledo!

(Remember Uncle Tonoose? What show was he on and what was the actor's name who played him!)

[skyguy79]

"Why I'll be a dirty bird!" ~George Gobel

[salpal]

The show was Make Room for Daddy starring Danny Thomas. Uncle Tonoose was played by Hans Conried.

old saying: "if you lie down with the dogs, you come up with fleas"

[uujudy]

Holy Toledo!

(Remember Uncle Tonoose? What show was he on and what was the actor's name who played him!)

I loved Uncle Tonoose on the Danny Thomas show! Hans Conried played Uncle Tonoose, and I remember that he was from Lebanon. Whenever I hear of happenings in modern-day Lebanon I think of Uncle Tonoose.

On that same note, I was so surprised to discover that there really IS a Danbury, Connecticut! That's where Rob & Laura Petri lived.

To stay on track... Holy Toledo is a phrase we all used growing up in my area of Toledo. :ho:

[skyguy79]

The show was Make Room for Daddy starring Danny Thomas. Uncle Tonoose was played by Hans Conried.

old saying: "if you like down with the dogs, you come up with fleas"Bingo!

Here's another...

Holy Cow! (Means the same as the more contemporary expression "Holy Macaroni" or "Holy Mackerel")

[graciegirl]

Bingo!

Here's another...

Holy Cow! (Means the same as the more contemporary expression "Holy Macaroni")


One would have to remember that dear, old, and treasured expression;

holy ****!

[Patty55]

On that same note, I was so surprised to discover that there really IS a Danbury, Connecticut! That's where Rob & Laura Petri lived.

To stay on track... Holy Toledo is a phrase we all used growing up in my area of Toledo. :ho:

My mother used to say "What took you so long, where did you go, CANARSIE"

I was shocked to find out there really is a Canarsie.

[AllAmerican]

"Folded like a cheap camera" and "you sound like a broken record". The under 30 crowd doesn't even know what a record is.

"You sound like a broken MP3 player (or iPod)" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

[perrjojo]

If you wanna dance, you gotta pay the fiddler.

[lightworker888]

Remember "He who pays the piper, calls the tune"? Was a long time before I could not only understand the comment, but also pay the piper. Fortunately over time I learned that I was the piper and the tune caller and life really got fun!


LW888

[rubicon]

"You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear

[rubicon]

"A stich in time saves nine"

[rubicon]

You can't spit at the heavens without them spitting back"

[rubicon]

"That dog won't hunt."

[rubicon]

"it depends on whose ox is being gorged."

[JSR22]

There are starving children in Africa

[Pturner]

I remember an old expression that is gratefully dead and gone:

"Children should be seen and not heard."

Thankfully, my parents never said that-- or saw it that way!

[Pturner]

Reap what you sow.

[rubicon]

Happy wife Happy life

Your wife made you post that one....didn't she?

[Pturner]

What goes around comes around.

Or is that expression still around?

[ijusluvit]

Farmer Grandma: "You'll eat a bushel of dirt before you die."

[2 Oldcrabs]

It is not how much money you make, it is how much money you keep.

Penny earned, is a penny saved.

[birdawg]

Your wife made you post that one....didn't she?

Yep

[George Bieniaszek]

"You're so lucky now!!! I used to walk to school 5 miles back and forth, in the rain, snow....." :)

[jimbo2012]

Like a bad penny you keep coming back.

http://overnightlabels.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Events1.jpg

Hold your horses

http://fostercityblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/rodeo_hold-your-horses.jpg

2 shakes of a lambs tale

http://bp2.blogger.com/_CpG1TdZHga4/SFPY1y3uKUI/AAAAAAAAARs/UkPb28J1rsQ/s400/Two+Shakes+of+a+Lamb%27s+Tail.JPG

3 sheets to the wind

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_e6HKB6yk9cw/TAYCfZdmV1I/AAAAAAAAAro/hUcoedAsx9A/s320/Three+sheets+high+res.jpg

[mrfixit]

....

[skyguy79]

Farmer Grandma: "You'll eat a bushel of dirt before you die."... or a peck of dirt!

Now, what was that one about going blind??? I've been a bit forgetful lately and I can't remember what it was!

[mrfixit]

....

[mrfixit]

.....

[jblum315]

Children should be seen and not heard. You certainly never hear that anymore

[skyguy79]

Keep cracking your knuckles and you'll get arthritis! {It's false. It does no harm and the cracking sound is the release of gas.}

If you get hurt doing that, I'll kill ya! {I don't think mom ever realized that if she did, that I would never speak to her again.)

You wanna get your mouth washed out with soap? {Of course I wanted to get my mouth washed out with soap... especially brown soap. Didn't everbody?}

[ilovetv]

That's when the sh-- hit the fan!!

[rubicon]

don't cross your eyes they will stay that way.

[rubicon]

Can't see the forest for the trees

[rubicon]

Only the good die young

[rubicon]

the two times people say good things about someone is
when they retire and when they die

[rubicon]

Do you think I just feel out of a tree?

[rubicon]

say what you will or will what you say

[Cynbod]

Don't make me stop this car.

[Opulence]

It's raining cats and dogs.

Betty

[Opulence]

How about this one: "bring home the bacon"

Betty

[kit9240]

" Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise"

" A penny for your thoughts...."

" a stitch in time saves nine"

" righty tighty, lefty loosey"

"don't throw the baby out with the bath water"

"if you don't want people to talk about it, don't do it"

[Opulence]

Oh yeah - and then there is this famous one "**** POOR"!

Betty

[Bruiser1]

Hans Conried (prounounced ConReed)

Eh!

[Parker]

Go outside and play!

[villager]

If everyone else is jumps off the bridge, would you do it too?

[duffysmom]

Birds of a feather flock together.

You are what your friends are.

Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about.

[2BNTV]

He's a couple of cards short of a full deck.

[2BNTV]

Holy Toledo!

(Remember Uncle Tonoose? What show was he on and what was the actor's name who played him!)

Danny Thomas had a real uncle named Tonoose that was shortened to Tony but not on the show.

Make room for daddy got it's name because Danny Thomas was on the road so much, his children slept with the wife. When he was coming home, his wife used to say to the children, "Make Room for Daddy".

Hans Concried played that role to the hilt and was very funny.

[cybrgeezer]

"You're so lucky now!!! I used to walk to school 5 miles back and forth, in the rain, snow....." :)

Uphill, both ways!

[kfierle]

Go outside and blow the stink off you!

[kfierle]

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

[kfierle]

You're not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

[Pturner]

I'll be a monkey's uncle.

[skyguy79]

It's raining cats and dogs.

Betty... with poodles in the street!

If everyone else is jumps off the bridge, would you do it too?I remember a nun saying that to me that in grammer school! My answered back to her was... "No, I can't swim!" {We were next to a canal bridge!}

[skyguy79]

Go fa** up a rain pipe!

[Dr Winston O Boogie jr]

I loved Uncle Tonoose on the Danny Thomas show! Hans Conried played Uncle Tonoose, and I remember that he was from Lebanon. Whenever I hear of happenings in modern-day Lebanon I think of Uncle Tonoose.

On that same note, I was so surprised to discover that there really IS a Danbury, Connecticut! That's where Rob & Laura Petri lived.

To stay on track... Holy Toledo is a phrase we all used growing up in my area of Toledo. :ho:

Rob and Laura lived in NewRochelle, NY

[2BNTV]

Up your nose with a rubber hose.

[Pturner]

Men don't make passes at girl's who wear glasses.

[Dr Winston O Boogie jr]

"Because I said so!"

[Pturner]

One bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch.

Oh no, these dang things are going to be popping into my head all night! :ohdear:

[Dr Winston O Boogie jr]

Can someone explain, "A stitch in time saves nine" to me?

[graciegirl]

Think before you speak.

[2BNTV]

He's not playing with a full deck.

[anarick]

you're a knucklehead

my dad use to say that to me when he was pi--ed off at me.

[anarick]

don't tempt the devil

[skyguy79]

"You got a license for that trailer your pulling around!" {A pickup line I was actually dumb enough to try when I was a teen}

[Pturner]

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

[anarick]

penny wise pound foolish

[CaptJohn]

You think I just fell off the turnip truck?

[Pturner]

3 more:



'Tis better to give than to receive.
You are what you eat.
See you later, alligator. After while, crocodile.

[anarick]

youth is wasted on the young

one hand washes the other

do unto others as you would have others do unto you

[l2ridehd]

Ugly as a stump fence.

If I had a dog that looked like that, I would shave his as* and make him walk backwards.

He who laughs last laughs longest

Drunk as a skunk

Old as the hills

Dumber then Tom's dog

Dumber then a dog in a wood box

She is as hot as a stove top.

Cute as a bug

Six of one half a dozen of the other

Be as it may

Don't take any wooden nickles

[Pturner]

Don't let the door hit you on your way out.

You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose.

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum.

[anarick]

his bark is worse than his bite

[graciegirl]

don't let the door hit you on your way out.

on your way out?????

[George Bieniaszek]

Can someone explain, "A stitch in time saves nine" to me?

HA HA:) I couldn't explain 99% of the ones posted here. They are funny and bring back memories and a smile on my face!!

[anarick]

a friend in need is a friend indeed

a man's house is his castle

you're a jack of all trades and a master of none

[graciegirl]

He who laughs last, laughs longest.

[George Bieniaszek]

Don't let the door hit you on your way out.

"Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you!!"
:1rotfl:

[Patty55]

Can someone explain, "A stitch in time saves nine" to me?

It means if you fix a small tear it won't bigger.

[anarick]

I have to be myself. Everyone else is taken.

[Pturner]

on your way out?????

what about it? :confused:

[Patty55]

HEY, what are you? Calabrese?

[Pturner]

Who let the cat out of the bag?

[Pturner]

What am I, chop liver?

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

[kfierle]

Step on a crack, break your mother's back.

[mrfixit]

Can someone explain, "A stitch in time saves nine" to me?

.....If you repair a tear in your clothes right away ( while it is small) you can do it with ONE stitch...
....if you wait ....the tear will enlarge and take NINE stitches to repair.

.....ALSO.....if you have a "to-do" ( dust-up ) with someone .....Either......physically or verbally....it is best to say I'm sorry and make amends right away ...than to wait until it turns into a long-running, MAJOR problem.

[Pturner]

Wash your mouth out with soup.

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

I smell a rat.


... Way to go, 2BNTV. Something tells me this is gonna be another Three Word Sentence thread. Oh dear, that reminds me of another one...

The possibilities are endless.

[George Bieniaszek]

"As I said before -- I never repeat myself!!!!"

[Pturner]

Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

[Pturner]

"As I said before -- I never repeat myself!!!!"

If I've told you once, I've told you a million times...

[anarick]

I smell a rat

[mrfixit]

.......

[anarick]

S*** or get off the pot

keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer

[gmcneill]

Best example of today's twist on the Dr.'s inquiry about stitches
, and Mr Fixit's explanation is the Fram Oil Filter commercial. Pay me now (buy an inexpensive oil filter) or pay me later (pay for an expensive engine repair).

Two old phrases that are still occasionally heard today...

Mind your Ps and Qs.
Modern reference is that one should watch one's behavior. The phrase originated in old time taverns where ale was sold in pints (Ps) and quarts (Qs). The phrase served as a reminder to barkeeps and barmaids to pay attention to their customers in order to know when their customers pints and quarts need to be refilled.

Get your ducks in a row.
Most people know that the phrase means that one needs to get their affairs or projects or whatever organized/prepared. But most people don't "get" what ducks have to do with getting organized.

The phrase, however, doesn't refer to ducks as in birds but instead to ducks as in duck pin bowling. Pinsetters- actual people not automated machines- had to ensure that the duck pins were properly aligned and on their correct marks for the bowlers.

[Joaniesmom]

The harder I work the luckier I get.

Handier than a pocket in a shirt.

The hurrier I go the behinder I get. (Amish)

Ask me no questions I'll tell you no lies (Amish)

Cute as a bug's ear

My grandmother had hundreds of these. I'll get back to you.

Joaniesmom

[renrod]

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Ya plant beans, ya get beans. (When someone was complaining about their kids)

[rubicon]

c'est la vie c'est la gar

[mrfixit]

.......

[ilovetv]

Money doesn't grow on trees, you know.

Either get in or get out, but shut the dang DOOR!

Do you think I was born yesterday??

Don't get your undies in a wad about it.

[asianthree]

"You're so lucky now!!! I used to walk to school 5 miles back and forth, in the rain, snow....." :)

you forgot they walked up hill both ways

[anarick]

drunk like a skunk

early to bed early to rise makes you wealthy and wise

can't see the forest for the trees

if something is to good to be true it probably is

[George Bieniaszek]

"If you break your leg, Don't come running back to me crying!!!!!"

[anarick]

break a leg

[skyguy79]

Whoopie-Doo!!!

[skyguy79]

Put a lid on it!

He who laughs last is the slowest in getting the joke!

[Barefoot]

No sense crying over spilt milk.

No sense closing the barn door after the horse is gone.

[Joaniesmom]

I didn't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt. Dolly Parton

[ilovetv]

That kid is like a f*rt in a skillet.

I dunno. Been runnin' around like a f*rt in a mitten.

[ilovetv]

We've got enough food here to feed Cox's army.

[jmvalcq]

Don't throw the baby out with the bath water

[ilovetv]

If she had a brain she'd take it out and play with it.


He's all hat and no cattle.

[bluedog103]

Wish in one hand and s**t in the other, then see which one fills up fastest.

Finer than a frog hair split 4 ways.

If brains were dynamite he wouldn't be able to blow his nose.

[mrfixit]

If she had a brain she'd take it out and play with it.


He's all hat and no cattle.


...My friends in Texas use your " all hat and no cattle " quite often...

..........In my old 'hood.....We always used....." all flash and no cash "

[Patty55]

He's like a fart in a gale.

[tainsley]

On that note...he's like a fart in a cane seated chair!

Before dinner when we would say...I'm hungry. My mom would say...look in the mirror and get fed up!

During dinner if we didn't eat mom would say ...eat it or wear it! Nice huh?

My dear Auntie Cass had so many here are just a few...

As I am someday you'll be!
In response to us asking why she never remarried after my Uncle Bill passed away...all men want is a nurse or a purse!
And at family gatherings...wherever you may be let your wind blow free!

[2BNTV]

If he/she had half of a brain, his/her head would be tilted.

[2BNTV]

As funny as a fart in a spacesuit.

BTW - I forgot to mention, one per customer.

[2BNTV]

Cheer up. Things could be worse.

[2BNTV]

Pull yourself up by the bootstraps.

[2BNTV]

Put a sock in it.

[2BNTV]

Kis my grits.

[kfierle]

I may have been born at night, but I wasn't born last night.

[Parker]

Really appreciate this post! Love knowing the background of these great old expressions:)

[mrdarcy]

Do the job right the first time and you won't have to do it again.
To do the job right you need the right tools.
Do the job right or don't do it at all.

(Needless to say, I was expected to learn to do things properly. He was a great father.)

[kfierle]

Measure twice, cut once.

[2BNTV]

A penny saved is a penny earned.

[2BNTV]

Use your head for something other than a hatrack.

[eremite06]

If it ain't broke don't fix it.

Why buy the cow when the milk's free.

[2BNTV]

I'll see you in the spring if I don't see you in the mattress.

[eremite06]

If it feels good, do it.

[eremite06]

Where there's smoke, there's fire.

[anarick]

it's cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table

[anarick]

she can talk the ears off a wooden indian

[anarick]

she needs some fries to go with that shake

[anarick]

i think he's one fry short of a happy meal

[anarick]

the engines runnin but nobody's driving

[Patty55]

He's as nervous as a pork butcher at a bar matzvah.

She's sweating like a whore in church.

What a paper *******.

[rubicon]

May the sun shine on your face and the wind be at your back as my Italian mother use to say:D

[rubicon]

He's as nervous as a at with a long tail in a room full of rocking chairs (George Gobel)

[skyguy79]

Don't eat yellow snow!
http://r28.imgfast.net/users/2813/68/06/51/avatars/2566-23.gif

[Posh 08]

You better straighten out and fly right.

[glgene]

You can't push a string

[getdul981]

So poor they don't have a pot to pi$$ in nor a window to throw it out.

If his brain was put in a matchbox, it would roll around like a BB in a Box Car.

[skyguy79]

You want your head handed to you on a platter?

[mrfixit]

...

....

[mrfixit]

.
.
.....

[Patty55]

Let's burn that bridge when we get to it.

[uujudy]

Slower than molasses in January.

[Posh 08]

The old man like this one when we were going somewhere. "Don't act like you were just shot out of a cannon."

[doccrocker]

"If we had ham we'd have ham and eggs-If we had eggs."
From the time of the Great depresssion.(1929ish)

[Patty55]

If he had a brain he'd be dangerous.

[getdul981]

If his brain was dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.

[CaptJohn]

Fair winds and following seas.

[ssmith]

- too many cooks in the kitchen

- Beggers can't be choosers (or choosey)

- if wishes were horses then beggars could ride

- now that's a horse of a different color

-I wasn't born yesterday....I've been around the block you know

-You're Cruisin for a bruisin....(my family would add...-Susan= my given name)

-She's got bats in her belfry...but oh what a staircase (but only when referring to a well built ditsy girl)

-Built like a Sherman tank

-well...now that's a deep subject....for a shallow mind like mine

-Now that went over like a pregnant pole vaulter

-Don't burn your bridges behind you

-Oh for cryin out loud (my mom always said it)

-Judas H Priest (my friends mom always said it)

-See ya later alligator...afterwhile crocadile...see ya soon big baboon

-She's a Dusey (meaning something special but began by referring to the Dusenberg car....BTW I was dubbed Doozer when born...my nickname)

-Well I'll be a monkey's uncle

- he was 2 sheets to the wind (drunk)

- drunker than a skunk

- naked as a jay bird

[flamingo]

busier than a one-armed paper hanger

[jackz]

Funnier than a one legged man in an a_s kicking contest.

As nervous as a gerbil in a Key West Pet Store

[graciegirl]

You better straighten out and fly right.

OH did I hear that one from my beloved folks.

[hotrodgirl]

You can't judge a book by it's cover

[Patty55]

Not really all that old, but apropos

IF YOU BUILD IT THEY WILL COME.

[ilovetv]

"Be careful whose toes you step on today.....they might be attached to the a-- you have to kiss tomorrow."

[cjc145]

"Fish and visitors stink after three days".
Ben Franklin

[Pturner]

Would you like some cheese to go with that whine.

[Pturner]

Smile and the world smiles with you. Cry and you cry alone.

[Pturner]

Some people said: I couldn't care less.

Others said: I could care less.

[2BNTV]

You want a knuckle sandwich?

[2BNTV]

Act like you belong.

[2BNTV]

The reward for good work is more work.

[Opulence]

She's full of **** and vinegar.

[dillywho]

Holy Toledo!

(Remember Uncle Tonoose? What show was he on and what was the actor's name who played him!)

Danny Thomas on his show.

[dillywho]

I never did see a board that didn't have two sides.

I've had worse places than that on my eyeball.

Because I'm your mother and I said so. (I gave my mom a picture of a mother hen with her hands on her hips talking to her brood of chicks in front of her that says "Because I'm The Mommy That's Why". It hangs in my laundry room now.

I don't know if I'm ridin', walkin', washin', or hangin' out.

Go pick me a switch. (Hated that old elm! Sure kept me in line, though.)

It's about time! What'd they have to do....slaughter that cow first? (What my dad would say when I'd gone out for a hamburger with the gals.)

[anarick]

The fish stinks from the head down.

[dmuessig]

was he on the danny thomas show?

[mrfixit]

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...

[mrfixit]

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...

[mrfixit]

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[mrfixit]

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[mrfixit]

.
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[justanormalgirl]

Just wait 'til your Father gets home!

I had 5 sisters growing up...we heard that one a lot! lol!

[CarolSells]

"Clean your plate."

"Don't get flip with the upper lip, drip."

"The family that prays together stays together".

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me".

"It takes one to know one".

[ronsroni]

danny thomas x2 maybe?

[ronsroni]

I'm rubbe're glue.
whatever you say
bounces off me and
sticks on you.

nah nah
you can't catch a nanny goat.

MY PERSONAL FAV......
"Veronica. Don't be lettin' ANYONE into yer bee-HIVE"
2 days later, Grandma was gone.

[flamingo]

Don't count your chickens before they hatch.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

[flamingo]

A whistling girl and a crowing hen will always come to some bad end.

[2BNTV]

The early bird catches the worm.

[Patty55]

There's nothing so bad that it couldn't be worse.

[BaylorBear]

Don't worry about the mule going blind, just keep on loading the wagon!

[Patty55]

How about the "rank outs"?

I'll rank you so low you'll be playing rin tin tin on a flea.

[2BNTV]

If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.

[dillywho]

Get back to your rat killin'. (Interpretation....go on back to whatever you were doing before you were interrupted.)

[Ragman]

Faster than a dose of sauce through a widow woman.

Faster than a greased eel.

He'd gripe if they hung him with a new rope.

[lovsthosebigdogs]

This saying of my mother's has helped me through many rough times, "What a difference a day makes." (sometimes a day can take weeks/months)

and we used to say "I'm off like a prom dress."

Lots of good ones posted that take me back to the old days and lots I'm still saying. I must be stuck in a time warp.

[JSR22]

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday and everything is okay.

[ilovetv]

Regarding "What a difference a day makes!".......

That's one I heard a lot and thought about, too. Somebody once said on television that they wrote many letters that they never mailed, because after sleeping on one for a night, they decided it was better not to send it. And they were glad they never mailed those hot ones.

I've tried to remind myself not to immediately mail a letter or email I've written while being "hot under the collar", and to sleep on it overnight.

Sure enough, the next day after sleeping on it, the emotions and/or anger or distress have "simmered down" and I think, "oh, just let it go".

Just by writing it, it gets it out of our mind where it has been stewing toward the boiling point or "my worst nightmare" imagination stage.

Then the biggest problem is remembering not to click the "Send" or "Submit" button instantly!

[graciegirl]

I had a spiffy grandmother who told her granddaughters..

"It's better to be looked over than overlooked."

[2BNTV]

My sister used to say:

That's how the mop flops.

[2BNTV]

That's the way the cookie crumbles.

[ekdk92]

Rob and Laura were from New Rochelle, NY I think (not too far from Danbury).

[George Bieniaszek]

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy!!!"

[uujudy]

Rob and Laura were from New Rochelle, NY I think (not too far from Danbury).

You're right, Ekdk! I was wrong. There's a real New Rochelle, and that's where Rob & Laura lived! So who was from Danbury? Mr. Ed? Is that where Lucy & Ricky moved to? Somebody lived in Danbury, didn't they? :undecided:

[anarick]

what ever floats your boat

[dillywho]

WFCOL

Used to go with a guy that said that. It means "Well For Cryin' Out Loud".

[dillywho]

"Ok, folks...it's J B I B F T M Time"
Translation: Jump Back In Bed For Three Minutes Time

[Pturner]

Remember Valley Girl speak. Things like...

Gag me with a spoon.

[ilovetv]

Usually the ones about cheapness are hilarious, as they come from various, distant parts of the country.

What are your favorites like "He's so cheap that _____"?

I used to hear "He's so tight that he screws his socks on!"

[2BNTV]

Shootin me thru the grease.

Slang for your trying to B.S. me.

[chuckinca]

Just heard grandpa Walton ask grandma Walton "What in blue blazes are you doing?"


.

[Joaniesmom]

You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear!

[CarolSells]

How about the old put-down jokes:

"I'll put you down so low you'll have to reach up to tie your shoes"

or

"When they gave out brains you thought they said trains and missed yours".

[graciegirl]

Every little bit helps the old lady said as she peed in the sea.

[Patty55]

Between two stools my ass hit the floor.

[2BNTV]

I'm so low that when I look-up, I can see the belly of a snake.

[TxJollyMon]

I'm so low that when I look-up, I can see the belly of a snake.

The Texas version: Lower than a snake belly in a wagon wheel rut

[Ragman]

Usually the ones about cheapness are hilarious, as they come from various, distant parts of the country.

What are your favorites like "He's so cheap that _____"?

I used to hear "He's so tight that he screws his socks on!"

Tighter than the bark on a tree.

:wave:

[CarolSells]

Faster than a speeding bullet.

[Patty55]

The Texas version: Lower than a snake belly in a wagon wheel rut

The New York version....

We don't do snakes, except at the zoo.

[graciegirl]

morning after saying..


I feel like I have been screwed, booed and tatooed.

[2BNTV]

Ain't that a kick in the head.

[CarolSells]

You can teach an old dog new tricks if you know more than the dog.

[DandyGirl]

If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.

[CarolSells]

A rolling dog gathers more mess.

[anarick]

I was born, raised and mugged in NY

[CarolSells]

Being retired means twice as much husband and half as much money.

[anarick]

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

[anarick]

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old, it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother.

[anarick]

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind it doesn't matter.

[anarick]

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull up your zipper, then you forget to pull your zipper down.

[CarolSells]

One of my mother's favorites. "If wishes were horses beggars would ride".

[2BNTV]

One of mother's favorites was, "it don't nutin to be nice". :smiley:

[Pturner]

Before Photoshop people used to say, "Seeing is believing".

[2BNTV]

My father used to say,'believe half of what you hear".

[anarick]

the first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left

[anarick]

life is like a roll of toilet paper. the closer you get to the end the faster it goes.

[2BNTV]

I'll be alright except for my left side.

[Joaniesmom]

Said to a tired person: "You look you've been rode hard and put away wet!"

[CarolSells]

Have we had, "Think the rain'll hurt the rhubarb?"

[anarick]

in dog years you're dead

[justanormalgirl]

You bet your sweet bippy!

(I have no idea what a 'bippy' is but wasn't that from the show with Goldie Hawn?)

Yessery Bob!

[graciegirl]

Have we had, "Think the rain'll hurt the rhubarb?"

ARE YOU SURE you aren't Boomer?

[ilovetv]

No good deed goes unpunished.

[ilovetv]

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."