How do you pick friends?

[graciegirl]

What traits are those that matter when you pick friends? A little, or a lot, or not at all?

Age

Gender

General health

Sense of humor

Sense of responsiblity towards rules

How they look

How they dress

Amount of money

Level of success

Educational background

Religion

Political leaning

Acceptance of differences in others.

Size of home

Value family

Value pets

Smoking or not smoking

Drinking or not drinking.



Add to the list if your think of something.

THESE ARE NOT A lIST OF THE THINGS I USE TO CHOOSE FRIENDS....except for kindness and responsibility and humor.

[CFrance]

What traits are those that matter when you pick friends? A little, or a lot, or not at all?

Age

Gender

General health

Sense of humor

Sense of responsiblity towards rules

How they look

How they dress

Amount of money

Level of success

Educational background

Religion

Political leaning

Acceptance of differences in others.

Size of home

Value family

Value pets

Smoking or not smoking

Drinking or not drinking.



Add to the list if your think of something.

Oh, Geez!!! What a question! I have to say sense of humor. If someone can laugh or make me laugh, I'm drawn to them. I may change my mind later due to some of your other criteria not being there (I wish you had numbered them, Gracie, so I could just say if 5,13,15,16 are not there, I'm put off), but I have a lot of trouble connecting with people who have no sense of humor.

I also find that my friendships evolve from people who share a hobby/sport/activity. For instance, whenever we've relocated for job reasons, joining a tennis team always brought me friends. Other friends came from school organizations (way back when the kids... you know), church affiliations, etc. Just clicking with people while doing things you like to do.

[olgreeneyes]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][/FONT
Most people who know me say I could talk to a tree, so I think one of the criteria is that someone is able to put up with ME! I appreciate a sense of humor, but not at the expense of others and I like a sense of responsibility also. The rest doesn't matter, but I am an animal lover so I need for a friend to at least understand and accept that. I think friends pick each other, and they come in many varieties, short term, long distance, neighbors, co-workers, etc. and that's the fun of having them! Each person brings something different to a relationship of any kind and that's why we are all unique in our own way.

[Golfingnut]

Kind and not selfish.
Happy and not Grumpy
Half full and not half empty
Optimist and not pessimist
Respect Authority not Fear it
Non Smoker
Not prejudice
No Carry Permit
No Extremists
No Fanatics.

OK OK I'll quit.

[tainsley]

Sense of humor is a must! All of my friends have that! They also are kind, thoughtful, fun, and I know I can count on each one of them in time of need. They too can count on me as well. Doesn't matter their age, gender, religion or political persuasion. How much or how little they have. I love each of them!

[kittygilchrist]

The very best thing my mother showed me was fierce LOYALTY. Being like that has gotten me upside down in several relationships when it was not mutual. So I have learned to avoid people who can't trust, as that is evidence that they themselves lack the ability to bond mutually.

[alemorkam]

I really dont think you pick friends. I think it just happens. A friend could come from anywhere at anytime. I think we just know when it happens.

[JoeC1947]

I really dont think you pick friends. I think it just happens. A friend could come from anywhere at anytime. I think we just know when it happens.

You're right. We don't get to pick our friends, it just happens. The way I look at it, everyone is my friend until they prove otherwise.

[DougB]

What traits are those that matter when you pick friends? A little, or a lot, or not at all?

Age

Gender

General health

Sense of humor

Sense of responsiblity towards rules

How they look

How they dress

Amount of money

Level of success

Educational background

Religion

Political leaning

Acceptance of differences in others.

Size of home

Value family

Value pets

Smoking or not smoking

Drinking or not drinking.



Add to the list if your think of something.

You can't be serious with that list???? Size of home, age, how they look, how they dress, amount of money, educational background, etc. I was looking for the LOL after it.

[Bill-n-Brillo]

Doug, I don't think that's Gracie's personal list. I think she's just throwing out a long list of potential things that might be criteria to different people - they can pick out the ones that are important to them.

Bill :)

[gomoho]

You can't be serious with that list???? Size of home, age, how they look, how they dress, amount of money, educational background, etc. I was looking for the LOL after it.

DougB - it's a sad reality these are criteria some people use, but I bet you would never catch them admitting it.

[redwitch]

Acceptance of me, life, other people. I really don't like judgmental people and I cannot tolerate a bigot. Making me smile and smiling at my silliness is a plus. I do have to trust them. They do need to have a generosity of spirit.

One person I consider one of my dearest friends in TV is my polar opposite -- we don't agree politically, have totally different passions (she's a knitter, I can't even figure out how to hold the needles), she sweats the small stuff too much and worries about the what ifs. For that, she accepts me as I am, is never mean to others, would give you the shirt of her back (worse, makes you take it). However, we're there for each other -- any time, any thing, no hesitation. I am so privileged to have met her and to have had her enter my life.

I consider Gracie a friend and she can drive me absolutely bonkers! But I wouldn't have her change even one little part of herself (well, maybe her passion for the Morses).

Another friend here is very much like me. We think alike, we like the same stupid jokes, we help each other. We have just enough differences to not be bored with each other. I actually gave her a book to read after I finished it and asked her if I liked it. She understood perfectly what I meant, started it, couldn't finish it and told me I didn't.

I feel so lucky to have these women as friends. I feel fortunate to have met so many people here that I like and respect.

I don't have a list. I don't think I could even make a list of what I need in a friend, I just know when I find a friend I'm grateful for them and bask in the glow of their love.

[DougB]

Hi Bill,
I did not think that was Gracie's personal list either. I just can not imagine anyone would opt to "choose" a friend on the traits listed.

[redwitch]

If Gracie used the criteria of the list she made -- I would never be considered one of her friends. I'm on this side of poor, I rent, I live in a manufactured home that has cockroaches that we can't rid of as roomies (ugh!), I live in shorts and t-shirts or tank tops. So, don't confuse the list with Gracie's criteria -- they ain't the same!

[BobnBev]

You can pick your friends----

You can pick your nose-----


BUT


You CAN'T pick your relatives.:22yikes::mmmm:

[Cisco Kid]

You left Bass boat off the list

[anarick]

What traits are those that matter when you pick friends? A little, or a lot, or not at all?

Age

Gender

General health

Sense of humor

Sense of responsiblity towards rules

How they look

How they dress

Amount of money

Level of success

Educational background

Religion

Political leaning

Acceptance of differences in others.

Size of home

Value family

Value pets

Smoking or not smoking

Drinking or not drinking.



Add to the list if your think of something.



non-condescending

they are not dream slashers

like minded/similar interests

to name a few but I tend to agree with some of the posters in that friendships tend to evolve. You get a sense of acceptance when a person passes by your home with a smile and a golfcart asking you to accompany them to where ever just to spend some time with you or shoot the breeze.
I think that's really cool.

[CFrance]

Kind and not selfish.
Happy and not Grumpy
Half full and not half empty
Optimist and not pessimist
Respect Authority not Fear it
Non Smoker
Not prejudice
No Carry Permit
No Extremists
No Fanatics.

OK OK I'll quit.

Be my friend, Golfingnut! :wave:

[graciegirl]

You can't be serious with that list???? Size of home, age, how they look, how they dress, amount of money, educational background, etc. I was looking for the LOL after it.


WHOA NELLIE.

These are not the traits I use to pick friends, just a couple of them,

I am drawn toward people who seem to like me and I love them if they can laugh about things and are responsible folks and it is essential to me that they are kind.

Some people DO choose friends on appearances. It MATTERS to them how you dress or if you are overweight or OLD.

I made that list because I have observed all of those things as a criteria for friendships of other folks in my lifetime.

[DougB]

Hi Gracie.
I stated in a later post that I did not think that was a list you would use. I tend to agree that we don't choose our friends. Friends are something that just "happens".

[graciegirl]

Hi Gracie.
I stated in a later post that I did not think that was a list you would use. I tend to agree that we don't choose our friends. Friends are something that just "happens".

Whew.

I thought maybe I had been kicked off of your potential friend list.

Thank you Doug.

Fanning herself, Gracie. ;)

[Dr Winston O Boogie jr]

I really dont think you pick friends. I think it just happens. A friend could come from anywhere at anytime. I think we just know when it happens.
I agree. I don't know of anyone who goes out with a list of qualities or traits and decides whether someone will be their friend based on that list.

[graciegirl]

I agree. I don't know of anyone who goes out with a list of qualities or traits and decides whether someone will be their friend based on that list.

You are right of course, but some things are deal breakers for me. I shy away from people who speak very negatively of others a lot. Because I know I will be on that list soon. I need to have people overlook a lot in me and I just could not hang around with people who don't respect the rules...laws....others possessions....and are dishonest, unless they tell me that I am looking younger. ;)

[JoeC1947]

You are right of course, but some things are deal breakers for me. I shy away from people who speak very negatively of others a lot. Because I know I will be on that list soon. I need to have people overlook a lot in me and I just could not hang around with people who don't respect the rules...laws....others possessions....and are dishonest, unless they tell me that I am looking younger. ;)

You don't look a day over 12,966 posts!

[ugotme]

Geez - that's a toughie!

I think (as stated previously) it just kinda "happens!"

Though sometimes you meet someone and enjoy his/her company and then you realize that they are not the person you thought. I may "hang around" a while to see if I have been erroneous in my judgement. If not, eventually you will both seem to part ways.

Of course, this works in the opposite fashion also. Usually first impressions can tell a a lot. However, I have met people who I was initially leery of but then went on to become good friends.

WHO KNOWS????

[2BNTV]

I choose who becomes a close friend by the feeling you get by being around them. Are they good, decent, honorable people who are doing the right thing by others. That want to be treated with the same kindness they show others.
That you share somethings in common and have a sense of humor that you can kid around with them. Are they there for you when you need advice/help as you would be for them.

I have made several close friends that have become like family. They are warm, caring and loving type people who are well respected in their families and community. They have helped me through difficult times and I was there when they needed help. I fondly remember all the good times we had together and will have in the future.

The world is a better place with these wonderful people in it.

[ugotme]

You see - here is an example:

Now I know that I could NEVER like 2BNTV - not friend material !!!!


:wave: :a20: :bigbow: :1rotfl:

[graciegirl]

You see - here is an example:

Now I know that I could NEVER like 2BNTV - not friend material !!!!


:wave: :a20: :bigbow: :1rotfl:
I agree.

He is just the kind of person that I KNOW would be my friend.

And so are you, ugotme!

[BarryRX]

Kind souls

[ugotme]

I agree.

He is just the kind of person that I KNOW would be my friend.

And so are you, ugotme!


Awww shucks GG - now you are making me BLUSH ! :p

And, of course, right back atcha !!!!

[2BNTV]

I agree.

He is just the kind of person that I KNOW would be my friend.

And so are you, ugotme!

Thanks Gracie. Looking forward to the day we will meet. :smiley:

[Cisco Kid]

WHOA NELLIE.

These are not the traits I use to pick friends, just a couple of them,

I am drawn toward people who seem to like me and I love them if they can laugh about things and are responsible folks and it is essential to me that they are kind.

Some people DO choose friends on appearances. It MATTERS to them how you dress or if you are overweight or OLD.

I made that list because I have observed all of those things as a criteria for friendships of other folks in my lifetime.


When I saw the top of this post I was so scared at 1st I wet myself so I must take a moment now. :loco: :loco:

[Serenoa]

Kind and not selfish.
Happy and not Grumpy
Half full and not half empty
Optimist and not pessimist
Respect Authority not Fear it
Non Smoker
Not prejudice
No Carry Permit
No Extremists
No Fanatics.

OK OK I'll quit.

all of the above (emphasis on No Carry Permit by me), plus....

honest, trustworthy, considerate, respectful of others.
down to earth, yet free spirited.
a nature lover.
great sense of humor.

[Cisco Kid]

No CARRY PERMIT
Do you all ask to see their papers ?

[CFrance]

When I saw the top of this post I was so scared at 1st I wet myself so I must take a moment now. :loco: :loco:

Cisco, don't you gorillas wear diapers indoors?:22yikes:

[ugotme]

all of the above (emphasis on No Carry Permit by me), plus....

honest, trustworthy, considerate, respectful of others.
down to earth, yet free spirited.
a nature lover.
great sense of humor.

HUH? No carry permit?
You probably would never know.
Not even going to ask the question I want to don't want to get into it

[Cisco Kid]

Cisco, don't you gorillas wear diapers indoors?:22yikes:

I am all alone to day so it's naughty time.

[CaptJohn]

You're right. We don't get to pick our friends, it just happens. The way I look at it, everyone is my friend until they prove otherwise.

:agree: Many good answers on here but this seems to cover things overall for me as I have a lot of interests.
My friends are so diverse I'd hate to have them all together at the same time as fist fights might break out! :laugh:

[Cantwaittoarrive]

I think everyone is my friend and enjoy the differences in people. I've found in my life that most people I meet in my life live up to being true friends and the ones that don't usually don't take to long to figure out that we are better not being around each other

[rubicon]

friend (noun)
1a) one attached to another by affection or esteem
b) acquaintance

2a) one that is not hostile
b) one that is of the same nation, party group

3) one that favors or promotes something (charity)

4) a favored campion

It would appear that different criteria apply to the type of friendship/association.

It would also appear that we individually have our own interpretations and tolerance for some of the criteria being expressed.

The key ingredient for me is rapport.

[pooh]

I have friends and how I got them.....it just happened. Some of us share activities, interests, some of us don't....but a common thread I've noticed....we all know how to laugh!

[Mr. Grampi II]

You're right. We don't get to pick our friends, it just happens. The way I look at it, everyone is my friend until they prove otherwise.

Joe: I think that those friends that we do not pick and "just happen" are called relatives....:loco:

[2BNTV]

Joe: I think that those friends that we do not pick and "just happen" are called relatives....:loco:

Sometimes the in-laws are referred to as the outlaws. :jester:

[Cisco Kid]

U can find friends on Craigslist
:oops::oops::yuck::yuck::yuck::22yikes::22yikes:

[doran]

I think I will make cards with "The List" and send them to the few friends I have. When they all blow me off and tell me what an idiot I am I will just stay at home and cry in my beer.

[Cisco Kid]

I think I will make cards with "The List" and send them to the few friends I have. When they all blow me off and tell me what an idiot I am I will just stay at home and cry in my beer.

Cards & Beer. Now you are on the path 2 true friends.

[2BNTV]

Someone once told me when I was leaving a job, "if you ever need a friend, just try and find one". :jester"

[Villages PL]

Some people (often business people) have a lot of acquaintences and they call them "friends". How many friends can a person really have?

[2BNTV]

Some people (often business people) have a lot of acquaintences and calls them "friends". How many friends can a person really have?

I think one is lucky to have two or three friends who would anything for each other and be there through thick and thin. I do agree that some people consider acqauintences "friends" and in that case, one can have thirty or forty.

[graciegirl]

I think one is lucky to have two or three friends who would anything for each other and be there through thick and thin. I do agree that some people consider acqauintences "friends" and in that case, one can have thirty or forty.

I think that in a lifetime if you find four or five true friends you are indeed fortunate. But to have aquaintances that you enjoy and support in their endeavors and they, yours is wonderful too.

A friend to me, is someone who knows all about you and likes you unconditionally.

[2BNTV]

I think that in a lifetime if you find four or five true friends you are indeed fortunate. But to have aquaintances that you enjoy and support in their endeavors and they, yours is wonderful too.

A friend to me, is someone who knows all about you and likes you unconditionally.

:agree:

Those I consider family/friends have been that way for over forty years or so.
I am soooo loomking forward to making these type of friends in TV. Now to make another 40 years. :smiley:

[ugotme]

A friend to me, is someone who knows all about you and likes you unconditionally.

Problem is GG - That defines my Dog !!!!

:pepper2: :pepper2:

[JoeC1947]

A friend to me, is someone who knows all about you and likes you unconditionally.


A friend to me, is someone who knows all about you and likes you anyway.

[Villages PL]

What traits are those that matter when you pick friends? A little, or a lot, or not at all?

Age

Gender

General health

Sense of humor

Sense of responsiblity towards rules

How they look

How they dress

Amount of money

Level of success

Educational background

Religion

Political leaning

Acceptance of differences in others.

Size of home

Value family

Value pets

Smoking or not smoking

Drinking or not drinking.



Add to the list if your think of something.

THESE ARE NOT A lIST OF THE THINGS I USE TO CHOOSE FRIENDS....except for kindness and responsibility and humor.

I agree with those who say they don't pick friends, friendship just seems to happen when you don't expect it. For me there are things that can end a friendship once it starts, like smoking, drinking or serious breaking of the law.

When it comes to such things as politics and religion, I think most people become less accepting of differences as they get older.

In my lifetime I've had the great privilege of having all kinds of friends. Some were relatively poor, some middle class, and a few were from incredibly wealthy families. But money didn't have anything to do with the friendships, neither did age, religion, politics or health.

[rubicon]

friend (noun)
1a) one attached to another by affection or esteem
b) acquaintance

2a) one that is not hostile
b) one that is of the same nation, party group

3) one that favors or promotes something (charity)

4) a favored campion

It would appear that different criteria apply to the type of friendship/association.

It would also appear that we individually have our own interpretations and tolerance for some of the criteria being expressed.

The key ingredient for me is rapport.

According to the definition several postershave it right.

We often describe our friends as those associated with various activities. we have friends at work, at group meetings, sport activities church, etc.

For me my best friends as defined in 1a) above, were the guys I grew up with. Other than my boyhood friends I met two guys in my years of travel that I came really close to. Perhaps this is afunction of moving often to other states or perhaps because men don't bond as quickly as women????

[Jhooman]

When we moved to The Villages we hooked up with a Phyllis who introduced us to several newbies. We have become great friends with several couples who are polar opposites, but that is what is interesting. The bottom line, they are kind, non-judgmental, generous and remarkable human beings. It's been an honor being in their presence.

[Cedwards38]

I don't have a list either, but I know what I look for. Honesty, integrity, responsibility, and interesting.