What the heck happened to the party?

[shcisamax]

People really need to lighten up on this forum. It is so completely out of hand. People make a comment and they are blasted as possibly being untruthful. People make a comment and they are taken to the mat for their opinion. People make a comment and they are suddenly being beaten up on because they are not knowledgeable. You can't even make a joke here anymore without someone taking offense and getting puffed up. What happened to this great site for information and for joy? I have been on here for less than two years and, quite honestly, it was absolutely a gas when I first came on. Now, I just wait for who is going to jump on whom. I just don't know when it became what it is or why.

[gpirate]

People really need to lighten up on this forum. It is so completely out of hand. People make a comment and they are blasted as possibly being untruthful. People make a comment and they are taken to the mat for their opinion. People make a comment and they are suddenly being beaten up on because they are not knowledgeable. You can't even make a joke here anymore without someone taking offense and getting puffed up. What happened to this great site for information and for joy? I have been on here for less than two years and, quite honestly, it was absolutely a gas when I first came on. Now, I just wait for who is going to jump on whom. I just don't know when it became what it is or why.

Maybe with the growth it becomes like a big city and no longer the friendliest city. What say you out there.

[redwitch]

I think part of the problem right now is no political forum -- a lot of the stuff that used to go there is now here and, with it, comes the attitudes, the fights. Some things have always been around -- the gut reaction by some to take offense when a newbie posts something negative (always thought to be a troll, rarely taken as saying something true -- wrong attitude IMO but it is what it is).

The best way to take this forum (or any other, for that matter) is read what you want, respond to what you want and ignore that which is of no interest to you. I won't ever put another individual on ignore unless they become personally insulting because sometimes they have something to say that might interest me. I rarely open threads that I feel will be religious or political in nature (sometimes my curiosity gets the better of me).

The other thing you can do is try to gently remind people (either via PM or politely and, if possible, with grace and humor) that their behavior is crossing a line. Sometimes that even works.

[SALYBOW]

Great advice Dee

[shcisamax]

I think part of the problem right now is no political forum -- a lot of the stuff that used to go there is now here and, with it, comes the attitudes, the fights. Some things have always been around -- the gut reaction by some to take offense when a newbie posts something negative (always thought to be a troll, rarely taken as saying something true -- wrong attitude IMO but it is what it is).

The best way to take this forum (or any other, for that matter) is read what you want, respond to what you want and ignore that which is of no interest to you. I won't ever put another individual on ignore unless they become personally insulting because sometimes they have something to say that might interest me. I rarely open threads that I feel will be religious or political in nature (sometimes my curiosity gets the better of me).

The other thing you can do is try to gently remind people (either via PM or politely and, if possible, with grace and humor) that their behavior is crossing a line. Sometimes that even works.

Redwitch is a wise and kind witch. You must be from the good witch of the north or south :)

[DonH57]

Unfortunately on any forum there will always be the ones who take themselves to seriously, the know it alls, the conformist, the jokers, and those who believe everyone should follow their very word. I try to live by treating others as I want to be treated. Despite any comments made to me I try to remember there is always another viewpoint. Seriously I like having fun and use this forum for information. If we were all the same it would be a boring world but I get where you are coming from.

[DonH57]

I think part of the problem right now is no political forum -- a lot of the stuff that used to go there is now here and, with it, comes the attitudes, the fights. Some things have always been around -- the gut reaction by some to take offense when a newbie posts something negative (always thought to be a troll, rarely taken as saying something true -- wrong attitude IMO but it is what it is).

The best way to take this forum (or any other, for that matter) is read what you want, respond to what you want and ignore that which is of no interest to you. I won't ever put another individual on ignore unless they become personally insulting because sometimes they have something to say that might interest me. I rarely open threads that I feel will be religious or political in nature (sometimes my curiosity gets the better of me).

The other thing you can do is try to gently remind people (either via PM or politely and, if possible, with grace and humor) that their behavior is crossing a line. Sometimes that even works.


Redwitch is on the money. I've heard the former political forum turned ugly.






Redwhitch

[JP]

It is hard not to attack people when you perceive you have been attacked or fouled but frequently in disagreements less said is more.

This site is and should be FUN!

Lighten up curmudgeons!

[tpop1]

:agree:People really need to lighten up on this forum. It is so completely out of hand. People make a comment and they are blasted as possibly being untruthful. People make a comment and they are taken to the mat for their opinion. People make a comment and they are suddenly being beaten up on because they are not knowledgeable. You can't even make a joke here anymore without someone taking offense and getting puffed up. What happened to this great site for information and for joy? I have been on here for less than two years and, quite honestly, it was absolutely a gas when I first came on. Now, I just wait for who is going to jump on whom. I just don't know when it became what it is or why.

:agree::agree::agree::agree:

Find myself coming here less and less just because of this!!!

I find quite a "blame the victim" attitude these days!
_

[swimdawg]

I remember back in "the olden days" of 2011, we used to have FUN on this forum. I used to give the SPOTD Award ( Swimdawg Post of the Day Award) on a daily basis....and now I have to search to find something cute....NOT SERIOUS...to give the coveted??? award to.

Several of us left the forum. Right now, I'm not sure if I'll stay.

I miss the FUN!

I'm not saying that this forum has to be all fluff....or all serious....but bring on the FUN!

[jebartle]

because any forum is anonymous it produces a "safe haven" for those with no tact and social graces....If these individuals had to "eye ball" the poster, I'm sure this would not happen....I too enjoy the comradery of TOTV and the witty, intelligent and clever posters...Guess the good comes with some bad but overall this is a great website!

[jebartle]

Before we insult, we should all ask if our comments will "ADD" positive input to the discussion!



I don't think it has anything to do with politics unless there is some secret society here that gangs up on people from a certain political persuasion.
I wasn't here two years ago for the "friendly times", but what I've seen since february are a certain group of posters who seem to resent, then attack anyone who has ever disagreed with them. Basically if you have a low post count, you can forget starting a thread and not being accused of lying, starting rumors...
It's sad, really. I find myself being on the defensive as soon as I read a post and consider replying. I reply to things I don't even care about because I've always been one to pull for the underdog and I don't like seeing people ganged up on or bullied. I will admit that I get great entertainment from the variety of scenarios presented here when people want to discount a simple statement of fact.
If you find yourself searching a poster's previous posts and digging back trying to discredit them, you may have some issues. Try getting away from the computer and getting out more.

[ConnecticutYankee]

I've been on this site since it's inception in 2007. When it began, TOTV was a wonderful vehicle for 'wannabes' and those already lucky enough to be here to share information and suggestions about this wonderful place called The Villages. I didn't move here until 2010 and TOTV peeps answered most if not all of the many questions I had prior to my move. It was a wonderful way of meeting people and sharing experiences.

Today, I only look on TOTV for recommends or someone else's experience with any issues I may have regarding Doctors, contractors, restaurant reviews, movie reviews, etc. There is a wealth of information here.

It saddens me to read the rude comments and attacks. My mother taught me these words to live by: Does it have to be said? Does it have to be said now? Does it have to be said by me?

[Golfingnut]

One good thing is you can count the posters that have more negative comments than positive on one hand. Anyone can have a bad day, but a very small amount of posters constantly find fault in others. Take note of those login ID and either go into USERCP and put them on your blocked list or simply ignor them. If you don't take their baiting, they will generally move on to a new victom.

I will never give up this site. It brings me entertainment and a world of information every day.

Yea TOTV.

[2BNTV]

One would do well, to think about what they are saying,and how will they feel after saying it, when responding to another's post. I don't take it personally, as "I don't let people rent space in my head.

One can choose to respond in such a way, as to disagree with the OP, without attacking their point of view. Attacking a person directly, is something that is frowned upon by the admin, and will close the thread.

I can remember only one or two times that someone got under my skin, that I responded, referring directly to their point of view. It's just better for myself to just walk away, and take deep breaths.

"Agree to disagree respectfully", is my motto.

[shcisamax]

Take note of those login ID and either go into USERCP and put them on your blocked list or simply ignor them.



I don't know why I had not ever thought of blocking people/messages ...splendid, brilliant solution. Poof!

[Golfingnut]

One would do well, to think about what they are saying,and how will they feel after saying it, when responding to another's post. I don't take it personally, as "I don't let people rent space in my head.

One can choose to respond in such a way, as to disagree with the OP, without attacking their point of view. Attacking a person directly, is something that is frowned upon by the admin, and will close the thread.

I can remember only one or two times that someone got under my skin, that I responded, referring directly to their point of view. It's just better for myself to just walk away, and take deep breaths.

"Agree to disagree respectfully", is my motto.

Great advice. If you get any extra of that control and ability please send me some. I have a short fuse and ALWAYS regret letting silly remarks directed at me get under my skin. Like most things at my age, getting better at this comes slowly but better none the less. What I struggle with the most is why disagreement must come in sarcastic or insulting form.

[tainsley]

Don't allow those negative comments from posters "bait" you. I don't open up threads when I see certain screen names because their posts are usually negative or they are "attacking" someone.

[graciegirl]

So many of you reasonable and truly caring people have explained it far better than I can.


I will add this. The recent troubling events and the conversation about our homes being vulnerable to break ins causes understandable fear. People react emotionally and become worried and even angry.


I enjoy reading this forum for a variety of reasons not the least is getting to know the people who post here. Without fail we all are ourselves and will continue to be ourselves.

[Irish Rover]

In 2008 the political posts were brutal. However, I will say the site was really good for general information on any topic. I do believe that it was a friendlier place then. With growth (and age) come stronger opinions. Let's face it older people have opinions that have hardened over the years and they don't change just because they moved to "paradise".

[angiefox10]

It was soooo much fun. The fun people from that time are gone. They rarely come on any more. I don't think it has anything to do with the political forum being removed.

I see members. who every time they post, a poster will come on and challenge. After awhile they are gone. *sigh* Some posters come on ONLY to challenge other posters. No one enjoys that.

We have this wonderful vehicle, TOTV, to get the word out to the community when something is going on that people need to know. But we have people on TOTV who don't want anyone to know that something bad could happen here.

Add to that, threads being closed for what appears to be no reason, and posts being removed (no I don't mean mine.... I know why it was removed) for reasons that aren't clear. I'm pretty sure this one will be next.

I will be off again, unless there is something I think people need to know. I want to have fun and this just isn't fun.

[mickey100]

I think part of the problem right now is no political forum -- a lot of the stuff that used to go there is now here and, with it, comes the attitudes, the fights. Some things have always been around -- the gut reaction by some to take offense when a newbie posts something negative (always thought to be a troll, rarely taken as saying something true -- wrong attitude IMO but it is what it is).


I think you hit the nail on the head. I remember some of the screen names from people we all knew hung out in the political forum, and they are back in the general discussion trying to pick fights, or twisting comments around trying to make things political.

It helps when people get insulting in their posts, to report the offensive posts to the moderator. Just takes a click on the triangle in the upper right hand corner of a post to do so. When advised of infractions, the moderators will generally take action. I have one person who delights in playing the bullying game, and since I've started reporting her posts, it has pretty much stopped.

[tainsley]

It was soooo much fun. The fun people from that time are gone. They rarely come on any more. I don't think it has anything to do with the political forum being removed.

I see members. who every time they post, a poster will come on and challenge. After awhile they are gone. *sigh* Some posters come on ONLY to challenge other posters. No one enjoys that.

We have this wonderful vehicle, TOTV, to get the word out to the community when something is going on that people need to know. But we have people on TOTV who don't want anyone to know that something bad could happen here.

Add to that, threads being closed for what appears to be no reason, and posts being removed (no I don't mean mine.... I know why it was removed) for reasons that aren't clear. I'm pretty sure this one will be next.

I will be off again, unless there is something I think people need to know. I want to have fun and this just isn't fun.

Happy New Year angiefox! Nice to hear from you!

[graciegirl]

When thinking about the "old" days let's not forget the folks who were banned for being very hateful to new people. I remember that Happinow had a terrible time as a new person asking questions. So there are some good things and some bad things to all memories. Memory has a sugar coater to be sure.

[justjim]

I think part of the problem right now is no political forum -- a lot of the stuff that used to go there is now here and, with it, comes the attitudes, the fights. Some things have always been around -- the gut reaction by some to take offense when a newbie posts something negative (always thought to be a troll, rarely taken as saying something true -- wrong attitude IMO but it is what it is).

The best way to take this forum (or any other, for that matter) is read what you want, respond to what you want and ignore that which is of no interest to you. I won't ever put another individual on ignore unless they become personally insulting because sometimes they have something to say that might interest me. I rarely open threads that I feel will be religious or political in nature (sometimes my curiosity gets the better of me).

The other thing you can do is try to gently remind people (either via PM or politely and, if possible, with grace and humor) that their behavior is crossing a line. Sometimes that even works.

A really good "common sense" post on this subject. The only thing to add is: If your tolerance for other folks opinions (even when wrong) gets low, just step away for a few hours, days or a week and let your tolerance build back up again. Like your golf game---keep swinging, never give up!

[JE Greenwood]

I think part of the problem right now is no political forum -- a lot of the stuff that used to go there is now here and, with it, comes the attitudes, the fights. Some things have always been around -- the gut reaction by some to take offense when a newbie posts something negative (always thought to be a troll, rarely taken as saying something true -- wrong attitude IMO but it is what it is).

The best way to take this forum (or any other, for that matter) is read what you want, respond to what you want and ignore that which is of no interest to you. I won't ever put another individual on ignore unless they become personally insulting because sometimes they have something to say that might interest me. I rarely open threads that I feel will be religious or political in nature (sometimes my curiosity gets the better of me).

The other thing you can do is try to gently remind people (either via PM or politely and, if possible, with grace and humor) that their behavior is crossing a line. Sometimes that even works.

Redwitch it seems you have earned the title Sage!