[shcisamax]

People really need to lighten up on this forum. It is so completely out of hand. People make a comment and they are blasted as possibly being untruthful. People make a comment and they are taken to the mat for their opinion. People make a comment and they are suddenly being beaten up on because they are not knowledgeable. You can't even make a joke here anymore without someone taking offense and getting puffed up. What happened to this great site for information and for joy? I have been on here for less than two years and, quite honestly, it was absolutely a gas when I first came on. Now, I just wait for who is going to jump on whom. I just don't know when it became what it is or why.

[gpirate]

Originally Posted by shcisamax

People really need to lighten up on this forum. It is so completely out of hand. People make a comment and they are blasted as possibly being untruthful. People make a comment and they are taken to the mat for their opinion. People make a comment and they are suddenly being beaten up on because they are not knowledgeable. You can't even make a joke here anymore without someone taking offense and getting puffed up. What happened to this great site for information and for joy? I have been on here for less than two years and, quite honestly, it was absolutely a gas when I first came on. Now, I just wait for who is going to jump on whom. I just don't know when it became what it is or why.

Maybe with the growth it becomes like a big city and no longer the friendliest city. What say you out there.

[redwitch]

I think part of the problem right now is no political forum -- a lot of the stuff that used to go there is now here and, with it, comes the attitudes, the fights. Some things have always been around -- the gut reaction by some to take offense when a newbie posts something negative (always thought to be a troll, rarely taken as saying something true -- wrong attitude IMO but it is what it is).

The best way to take this forum (or any other, for that matter) is read what you want, respond to what you want and ignore that which is of no interest to you. I won't ever put another individual on ignore unless they become personally insulting because sometimes they have something to say that might interest me. I rarely open threads that I feel will be religious or political in nature (sometimes my curiosity gets the better of me).

The other thing you can do is try to gently remind people (either via PM or politely and, if possible, with grace and humor) that their behavior is crossing a line. Sometimes that even works.

[SALYBOW]

Great advice Dee

[shcisamax]

Originally Posted by redwitch

I think part of the problem right now is no political forum -- a lot of the stuff that used to go there is now here and, with it, comes the attitudes, the fights. Some things have always been around -- the gut reaction by some to take offense when a newbie posts something negative (always thought to be a troll, rarely taken as saying something true -- wrong attitude IMO but it is what it is).

The best way to take this forum (or any other, for that matter) is read what you want, respond to what you want and ignore that which is of no interest to you. I won't ever put another individual on ignore unless they become personally insulting because sometimes they have something to say that might interest me. I rarely open threads that I feel will be religious or political in nature (sometimes my curiosity gets the better of me).

The other thing you can do is try to gently remind people (either via PM or politely and, if possible, with grace and humor) that their behavior is crossing a line. Sometimes that even works.

Redwitch is a wise and kind witch. You must be from the good witch of the north or south

[DonH57]

Unfortunately on any forum there will always be the ones who take themselves to seriously, the know it alls, the conformist, the jokers, and those who believe everyone should follow their very word. I try to live by treating others as I want to be treated. Despite any comments made to me I try to remember there is always another viewpoint. Seriously I like having fun and use this forum for information. If we were all the same it would be a boring world but I get where you are coming from.

[DonH57]

Originally Posted by redwitch

I think part of the problem right now is no political forum -- a lot of the stuff that used to go there is now here and, with it, comes the attitudes, the fights. Some things have always been around -- the gut reaction by some to take offense when a newbie posts something negative (always thought to be a troll, rarely taken as saying something true -- wrong attitude IMO but it is what it is).

The best way to take this forum (or any other, for that matter) is read what you want, respond to what you want and ignore that which is of no interest to you. I won't ever put another individual on ignore unless they become personally insulting because sometimes they have something to say that might interest me. I rarely open threads that I feel will be religious or political in nature (sometimes my curiosity gets the better of me).

The other thing you can do is try to gently remind people (either via PM or politely and, if possible, with grace and humor) that their behavior is crossing a line. Sometimes that even works.

Redwitch is on the money. I've heard the former political forum turned ugly.






Redwhitch

[JP]

It is hard not to attack people when you perceive you have been attacked or fouled but frequently in disagreements less said is more.

This site is and should be FUN!

Lighten up curmudgeons!

[tpop1]

Originally Posted by shcisamax

People really need to lighten up on this forum. It is so completely out of hand. People make a comment and they are blasted as possibly being untruthful. People make a comment and they are taken to the mat for their opinion. People make a comment and they are suddenly being beaten up on because they are not knowledgeable. You can't even make a joke here anymore without someone taking offense and getting puffed up. What happened to this great site for information and for joy? I have been on here for less than two years and, quite honestly, it was absolutely a gas when I first came on. Now, I just wait for who is going to jump on whom. I just don't know when it became what it is or why.

Find myself coming here less and less just because of this!!!

I find quite a "blame the victim" attitude these days!
_

[swimdawg]

I remember back in "the olden days" of 2011, we used to have FUN on this forum. I used to give the SPOTD Award ( Swimdawg Post of the Day Award) on a daily basis....and now I have to search to find something cute....NOT SERIOUS...to give the coveted??? award to.

Several of us left the forum. Right now, I'm not sure if I'll stay.

I miss the FUN!

I'm not saying that this forum has to be all fluff....or all serious....but bring on the FUN!

[jebartle]

because any forum is anonymous it produces a "safe haven" for those with no tact and social graces....If these individuals had to "eye ball" the poster, I'm sure this would not happen....I too enjoy the comradery of TOTV and the witty, intelligent and clever posters...Guess the good comes with some bad but overall this is a great website!

[jebartle]

Before we insult, we should all ask if our comments will "ADD" positive input to the discussion!

Originally Posted by BettyCrocked

I don't think it has anything to do with politics unless there is some secret society here that gangs up on people from a certain political persuasion.
I wasn't here two years ago for the "friendly times", but what I've seen since february are a certain group of posters who seem to resent, then attack anyone who has ever disagreed with them. Basically if you have a low post count, you can forget starting a thread and not being accused of lying, starting rumors...
It's sad, really. I find myself being on the defensive as soon as I read a post and consider replying. I reply to things I don't even care about because I've always been one to pull for the underdog and I don't like seeing people ganged up on or bullied. I will admit that I get great entertainment from the variety of scenarios presented here when people want to discount a simple statement of fact.
If you find yourself searching a poster's previous posts and digging back trying to discredit them, you may have some issues. Try getting away from the computer and getting out more.

[ConnecticutYankee]

I've been on this site since it's inception in 2007. When it began, TOTV was a wonderful vehicle for 'wannabes' and those already lucky enough to be here to share information and suggestions about this wonderful place called The Villages. I didn't move here until 2010 and TOTV peeps answered most if not all of the many questions I had prior to my move. It was a wonderful way of meeting people and sharing experiences.

Today, I only look on TOTV for recommends or someone else's experience with any issues I may have regarding Doctors, contractors, restaurant reviews, movie reviews, etc. There is a wealth of information here.

It saddens me to read the rude comments and attacks. My mother taught me these words to live by: Does it have to be said? Does it have to be said now? Does it have to be said by me?

[Golfingnut]

One good thing is you can count the posters that have more negative comments than positive on one hand. Anyone can have a bad day, but a very small amount of posters constantly find fault in others. Take note of those login ID and either go into USERCP and put them on your blocked list or simply ignor them. If you don't take their baiting, they will generally move on to a new victom.

I will never give up this site. It brings me entertainment and a world of information every day.

Yea TOTV.

[2BNTV]

One would do well, to think about what they are saying,and how will they feel after saying it, when responding to another's post. I don't take it personally, as "I don't let people rent space in my head.

One can choose to respond in such a way, as to disagree with the OP, without attacking their point of view. Attacking a person directly, is something that is frowned upon by the admin, and will close the thread.

I can remember only one or two times that someone got under my skin, that I responded, referring directly to their point of view. It's just better for myself to just walk away, and take deep breaths.

"Agree to disagree respectfully", is my motto.