Right on target! When the italians landed in Ellis Island in the early 1900s, where did they migrate to. Little Italy in nyc. Same with orientals. Chinatown. They all stuck together due to cultural similarites and feeling comfortable. Many didnt want to go elsewhere. So, if theres no blacks in a predominantly white area or vice versa its either due to economics, or just personal choice. If they were denied a mortgage to an expensive house in a white area, its because they dont qualify. Same as if I applied for a mortgage out of my range.

It is unfair to evaluate oneself by today’s (ridiculous) definitions, for life back in 1966. Life, and standards were different back then. Today’s definition of racist is “if you don’t agree with someone else’s opinion”! Just heard a man is a racist if he won’t date a transgender! How ridiculous is that?

Diversity in THE VILLAGES
 

Purchasing a home in The Villages is open to everyone who meets the age requirement. Beyond that all you need is cash or a good credit rating and the freedom to move here. You cannot force people to move here in order to achieve what you consider is an acceptable level of color. Living here is a choice.

We had a black kid who was enrolling in our all white school of 4400 students - big school - in 1964. We all were thinking state basketball championship. It turned out he was 5'4", had pop bottle glasses, and played chess, not basketball. Not racism, but certainly stereotyping. We all had a huge laugh at the time.

Not to worry. You will hopefully recover from your guilt.

A couple of things. At age 6 I lived in Hell's Kitchen (Manhattan). Probably the world's largest melting pot. My best friend was Wayne Everette, who happened to be black. I didn't even know the definition of racism or prejudice. When I was 15 I learned about prejudice. I learned that I was suppose to hate, not blacks but, Italians given that I was Irish (my grandparents were from Ireland). I was not born with that prejudice, my environment taught me it. I guess I dishonored my Irish heritage as I married an Italian. So, unless your family or environment taught you to be racist , you weren't. Secondly, why are there so few black residents in TV? Someone offered an opinion on that question that made sense to me. TV is predominately white because we're selfish. Yep, I was taken back by that statement as well. Blacks and Hispanics seem to be more family oriented. They tend to stay where their families are located. We whites, on the other hand, feel we've worked for what we have and we want to enjoy it. So, we move to a place like Disneyland for Seniors. We have no problem leaving family behind. After all, we can visit them or they can visit us (provided we give them our address - which I'm still contemplating). That opinion made sense to me. It might not make sense to you. That's your prerogative. Maybe the word selfish is too harsh. Maybe we're just compassionate and we don't want to burden our families as we get older. Yeah, that's the ticket. Lastly, blacks and Dems are dissuaded from purchasing here. Yeah right. Show me a real estate broker or agent that dissuades anyone from buying here and I'll show you a stupid unemployed real estate person. Sure after you move here there are some that treat you rudely. That's just their nature - old and crabby. Take me for instance. I'm sure the ones that treat me rudely are doing so because I'm so good looking. They're just jealous. Hey, I can have my opinions too!

I went to high school 1965-1968 and also grew you in a middle class neighborhood. People were not rich, just average families. in my high school we had one black student an in my senior year he was elected class president so in younger people back then I think there was very little racism. Just my opinion but today as people become more divided it creates more racism than it cures.

Always enjoy another white people asking other white people if they are racist. Suggestion ask your pastor or priest or religious leader to partner with an established black church. Get to know them and then ask them that question. Ask them about their experience with law enforcement and other government agencies and then ask yourself what your response would be in the same situation.

Most of us already do treat others as we would like to be treated.

I believe racists perpetuate ongoing discussions about racism.

And why do they choose to always use the criminally involved treatment......while ignoring the views and reality of the average blacks in America.

[QUOTE=Madelaine Amee;1812653]Odd - I didn't encounter anyone talking to me about politics at all when I was considering moving here. Not a single encounter was it even mentioned. And no one I've played mahjong with, sewed with, gone to Cricut classes with, etc., has EVER mentioned any politics to me. I saw a few flags flying when driving down some main roads - didn't care - either party could fly their flags - so no harm, no foul - no different to me than seeing state flags in some yards.

If I've ever been excluded from anything because of my party, I'm unaware of it. And after I moved here, fall of 2018, I was so happy to see yards lined with small American flags for various holidays - all I could think of was 'I'm so happy to be somewhere where people love and honor their country' ... having moved here from the cesspool of political nonsense, DC. I turned off the news and have never been so stress free.

My perception is that unless you go looking for it, you don't have to feel badly about your party - any party. You're not going to change a single vote, so why stress out and make enemies over it? So I'm not sure how anyone is being run off, unless they choose to attend a rally where you are screamed at, called names, goaded, etc., by the other party. If you're looking to be involved in and wound up over politics, then by all means, you should probably choose to live where your political beliefs are in the majority. Otherwise, live wherever you want and go about your business and enjoy your life - there is SO much more to life and retirement than politics.

Interesting how the martyrs are typically people with a rap sheet a mile long.

[QUOTE=transplanted;1813010]Very well said

Marketing by the developer is why it is so white here. They only advertise to upper end white areas.

[QUOTE=transplanted;1813010]Thank you for posting what has been and continues to be our experience.....which I believe is the majority experience!

I don't think you were, you were probably a shy, nervous young man that's more likely why you didn't reach out.

marketing
 

Not true. The developer has always had big ads on the TV everywhere. I'm assuming most people have a TV.

Nope, that doesn’t suggest racism to me. In 1964, as a freshman in college, six or eight of us were sitting around a table in the student union. I made reference to the “f . . in’ n . . .ers" and suddenly wished I were dead. One of my best friends, sitting to my immediate right, was as black as they come. From my reddist of red faces I apologized. He laughed and said, “That’s not a problem. You have your white honkey a$$holes”. We were both right. So, were either one of us racists or simply speaking the truth? I believe it to be the latter.

There are good and bad from all races and sometimes stuff just slips out.

Does get confusing when Blacks call each other by the N word.

A change of heart causes a change of mind.

Condition of Being Human
 

Every human being -- regardless of their race, upbringing, country of origin, age, gender, etc. -- has racial bias within them based upon their experiences in the world growing up. It is a condition of being human. The key is for each of us -- when facing a situation that may be unfamiliar, different, prone to racist reactions, etc. -- is to try to ask ourselves if our pre-determined racial biases might be unconsciously causing us to react and behave in what would be considered a "racist" way or not. Racism and being racist are two completely different things. We all have the potential to act in a racist way in a certain situation if we don't act with self-awareness, but it doesn't mean we are an overall "bad" or "racist" person. And it is a constant effort to try and act in a non-racist manner -- sometimes we will do well with it and sometimes we might slip up and be sorry for it. Slipping up sometimes -- that, too, is a condition of being human.

How would you react if you had a son who wanted to marry her?

OP, don’t put yourself on trial. I bet you were the same as me, tried your best at the time given the circumstances. No regrets, I keep doing the best I can each day. Go to sleep happy.

Coming from a very diverse town in CT, I truly miss the diversity here in The Villages. My opinion is that when minorities read about this place, they are turned off by the White Republican demographic. It is a haven for old people raised in the 50’s and 60’s who were inherently racist against mostly blacks. As a Jewish couple, we feel it too. Still hear the “Jew them down” comment if people don’t know we are Jewish. Also, it’s a little uncomfortable when everyone, during the Christmas holiday, forgets that not everyone in the world is Christian and wishes us a Merry Christmas or Asks if we have finished our shopping yet. We know it’s not mean spirited so we just thank them and move on. Just sayin.....

Yes, there is racism in America. Is it systemic? Consider this, if a certain group of white folks in power feel that black folks need more help, consideration, welfare, special education opportunities, special assistance when voting, priority job placement, etc. then isn't it those folks that are racists just because they are looking down on blacks and acting like they are superior to blacks? And hasn't it been that way for a long time? By doing this, don't they have not only financial control of blacks but mental slavery as well? Now, we have whites (not blacks) that believe we should erase history by burning school books and destroying statues related to history. Why? Guilt? Control? OK, so you eliminate all evidence of inequity then what proof do we have that there was EVER racism in America? Does the mere existence of blacks in this country prove that all white Americans were slave owners and that blacks were once slaves?
Treat blacks with respect by NOT giving them the "black" crutch. Allow them the same competitive standard as anyone else, no affirmative action, no quotas, no preferential treatment as all. Allow them to earn their respect just like anyone else and color will be forgotten. Demand that they assimilate just like every other ethnicity in America. This is America, not Europe, not Asia and not Africa. If you think that blacks need or deserve a guilt pay off, or your pity, then it is YOU that is racist. Looking down on blacks and not treating them the same as others makes them think you are condescending to them and do not have enough respect for them to hold them to the same standards of conduct and work ethics as anyone else. Making them always different only makes them below you. You are the racist.

Anyone from a multi-ethnic family knows what I mean when I say we hold everyone equally accountable for their actions. We make no excuses based on color. You gain respect by showing work ethics. You become color blind, seeing only motivation and performance.

Quit being disingenuous with minorities. Just be honest and treat them as you would wish to be treated and they will gain respect for themselves. Like someone once said "feed a man a fish and he eats for one day, but teach him to fish and he..."

Key word here is "assimilation." There is no white culture and black culture, just the American culture.

Very well said

I had never heard of The Villages until some friends of ours bought a house here. They heard about it from friends who lived here. I've never seen any advertising for TV. I've spoken to many family members and friends that live all over the US and they had not heard of TV until we told them where we were living.
It's news to me that I'm "upper end white". Upper end must have a very low ceiling.

Adult choices
 

Assuming they were both adults -The simple answer is: “you can’t make decisions for your adult children”. Accept, love them and move on.

Everyone has racial biases. Not everyone is a "racist." Being a racist means being AGAINST someone of another race. You can have racial biases without being racist.

It can be a subtle difference in perspective, but there is a difference.

Example:

It's 9PM, dark outside, and there are a couple of homes on your block that have had "for sale" signs posted in the windows for a couple of months now.

All of a sudden you notice a car pull up under the carport of one of those houses. You can't see the driver from your view of the house, but on the passenger side, two black men get out of the car and approach the inside door to the house under the carport. It appears that one of them is older than the other but you really can't tell how old they are, since it's night and the vacant house is dark. The rest of the event is hidden because the car and the depth of the carport block your view.

Envision that situation for a second in your mind. Notice how you feel while you read it.

Now

Fast forward to the following year, another couple houses for sale.

Now a car pulls into the other carport. You can't see the driver. But you can see two white men get out on the passenger side; again, one is older than the other but you can't tell the age for sure.

Do you have an initial gut reaction to the first situation? I'm not asking how you THINK about it. I'm asking how you FEEL about it. Does your mind react almost instinctively, preparing to defend, in the first incident?

What about the second one? Do you just not even give it a moment's thought? Do you feel even a twinge of concern?

Now add another to the mix - for a bonus round:

The passenger side of the car opens and two women wearing dark long gowns and dark face veils (not mask - I mean hijabs) get out of the car. Gut reaction...

I posit that whenever we see "other" our minds will react. We have no control over it, it's instinctive.

What we DO about that instinct, or what we THINK about that instinct, is what determines whether or not we are racist. But the instinct itself is not racist. It is a racial bias.

That’s strange, I was raised in the late 50’s early 60’s and was taught that we were all equal no matter what color, race or religion. But I guess I was lucky to have parents that gave me that outlook on life.

I don’t think the original,post was racist. Just the usual insecure, immature teenage male. It’s easy to regret past mistakes, but you can’t change them.

I’m disappointed that so many posts mention TV as being unwelcoming if you’re not of a certain party. My wife, now deceased, chose TV because it looked welcoming. She was a Democrat and I worry that this may not be the place for me either.

I too graduated from an Erie PA high school (East High School in 1966) Never had any problems and matter of fact a black friend named Earl ****** shared lockers next to each other and always laughed and got along great.

To fit the age of the OP, I'd have to go back a few years earlier, so let's say 1956. In my life experience this generalization doesn't fit for me. Though I can't agree or disagree that we were all raised in a racist society, if I was, then I must have not been exposed to it. I grew up in a large city up north where, yes, there were ethnic and racial neighborhoods, but there were many areas that were mixed. I don't recall that there were rules the poster is referring to being broken, and as a kid it did not occur to me that it was any different anywhere else (though evidently it was). I have no recollection of white privilege among kids, but I vividly recall it among adults. I dated members of minority groups and had—and still have—friends, some close, among different groups. I never thought of this as an issue—and am not about to start doing so now.

Way too much time spent intellectualizing whites/blacks...

That is not the way real every day life is.

The more some try to label, categorize, theorize, hypothesize the more the discussion itself becomes racist. Working too hard to highlight the isolated incidences (once again) and then applying those incidences as though they represent the general condition.

Where was this effort 6 months ago?

One year ago?

Four years ago?

One year from now the situation will not be much different other than the dialogue which will also fall by the wayside as it has demonstrably done for the past 20 years!!

The more we discuss what we need as American the sooner many of the issues will be better treated. Let's eliminate the need to have to talk color as the measure.....because in the real daily life it is not!

This IS a broad and complex subject. I grew up in the Pittsburgh, Pa. area in the 50s and 60s. Overall Blacks were somewhat but not 100% socially accepted. They all lived in a small area of town. They had some upward mobility but far less than whites. Most did not go to college. Of these the majority did so because they were exceptional athletes, which was their main method for upward mobility. I grew up in the suburbs and saw only one Black at my elementary school. High school changed that. There were many Blacks there because both the suburbs and the downtown residents attended my high school. Some of the more popular kids in high school were Black. I played sports and about 30% of the sports teams were made up of Blacks. There was a small amount of interracial dating then. I had lots of Black acquaintances but no close friends. In College, it was about the same. Plus many whites went out of their way to express non-racist opinions. Then I joined the Air Force - during my 1st year I had a close Black friend at tech school. We did not keep in touch. During the last 3 years, I ran into many, many VOCAL prejudiced white enlisted men from the deep South. I knew there were some Black Officers, but I never saw any. I was not real happy about the rise of Black Militants and the Fist Salute of the late 60s. Also I was close to many cities burning from race riots. Also, I was a little ticked off at Mohammed Ali for going Muslim. After MLK and their non-violent protests became apparent to me, I could see their point and perspective. I came to understand Mohammed Ali and respect him for his willingness to sacrifice and go to prison for 1 year in the prime of his boxing career - truly impressive! So, basically, I came full circle in my understanding of the minority (all minorities) situation and importance to America.
That's MY story, without any glory, and I am sticking to it......

One of the best post.

Thanks for this good exercise OrangeBlossomBaby. It induced me to go even further: I don't care who is in, or gets out of, the car (or even approaches on foot). Unless it is known fact that the house has sold and these might be new owners, then my "neighborhood awareness" feels suspicious about any humans being there at 9PM at night. That is safety instinct (or bias if preferred).

Seems like a giant rationalization for Historic inequities, to me.

In general, tribalism is an anthropological survival mechanism, which can explain lots of things.

Other than the Merry Christmas thing, I agree with everything you posted. Including the being from a diverse town in Connecticut (Hamden/New Haven/East Haven/North Haven - lived in a combination of all those, most of my life).

The Merry Christmas thing doesn't bother me at all because we were exposed to it from the time we were kids, and public schools had Christmas pageants, Christmas plays, Easter egg hunts, etc. etc. My Jewish upbringing taught me that it was all fairy tales, but they were fun fairy tales so we rolled with it.

I have had a run-in with someone here in TV recently, who asked which church I belonged to. When I told them none, I'm Jewish, they abruptly changed their posture and tone of voice - the rest of the conversation seemed to be coming from the perspective of sympathy that I hadn't yet accepted Jesus as my personal savior. I just rolled the invisible eyes in the back of my head, put on a fake smile, and excused myself to go on to do other things.