:1rotfl:

Some great ones, CDM!

Thanks M'lady. :ho:

I noticed three hefty women in the bar and their were talking with an accent. I went over and said, "Evening Lassies, are you from Scotland?" One of them screeched at me: "No you idiot, Wales." I said sorry, "Are you three Whales from Scotland.? That's the last thing I remember.

Although not technically a "joke," it did make me chuckle at reading about how Karma...seems to have nailed this dude. :thumbup:

Cheater Busted (pucker up here)

Pretty much dead on. :D

:ohdear: I have two tickets for the 2020 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. I paid $2,500 each ticket, but I didn't realize last year when I bought them, it was going to be on the same day as my wedding. If you are interested, I am looking for someone to take my place... It's at St. Tim's Church, in The Villages at 3 p.m. Her name is Stacy. She's 5'2, about 120 lbs. She's a good cook, cleans and does dishes too. She'll be the one in the white dress. :)

Real bravery! :1rotfl:...:1rotfl:...:1rotfl:

A little girl is sitting on Grandads knee. Grandad she says can you make a noise like a frog. Yes says Grandad, but why would you want me to do that. Well says the little girl Mummy says when you croak were all going to Disneyland

Great one

Interviewed a woman for employment, went over the job description and duties. Asked her if she had any questions. She replied “ how many sick days will i get” that ended the interview.

People that confuse the words "burro" and "burrow" don't know their a$$ from a hole in the ground..

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h in 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears.

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus flight, boring flight isn’t it? Take care and have a look here!”

He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, only to swoop down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks, "Well, how was that?"

The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but now have a look here!"

The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly stubbornly straight, with the same speed. After five minutes, the Airbus pilot radioed, "Well, what are you saying now?"

The jet pilot asks confused: "What did you do?" The other laughs and says, "I got up, stretched my legs, went to the back of the flight to the bathroom, got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon cake."

The moral of the story is:

When you are young, speed and adrenaline seems to be great. But as you get older and wiser, comfort and peace are not to be despised either.

This is called S.O.S.: Slower, Older, Smarter.


:ho: