Any good jokes?
 

I heard this one at the Piano Club.

George Washington’s father reviewed George's report card.
His talk with his son:
You maintain an A in ethics, a B+ in math,
But why did you go down in History? 😄

Lots of good jokes, none that can be posted.

Comedian Greg Geraldo during a set for The Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff (a noted ‘drinker’ at that time)

“Hasselhoff....when alcohol does its taxes....it lists you as a dependent!”

I’ve just finished reading a book about the world’s greatest basement ….. It was a best cellar.

Late one chilly evening, a fellow who had a few too many drinks, decided to walk home from the pub. It started to rain, so he took a shortcut through the cemetery and fell into an empty grave.
An hour later, another drunk decided to take the same shortcut. As he was passing by the open grave, he heard the first drunk calling, "Help me! I'm freezing down here!" To which the second drunk said, "Of course your freezing, you bloody fool! You've kicked off all your dirt!"

I went on a date and all was good until she aksed me, "Boxers or briefs?"

I said, "Depends."

She never came back.

(Hat tip to Gene Farmer)

😖😱 Oops.

Sucks getting old

Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarter back.

As a woman I thought this was very funny. I think the only one's offended are the one's using filters. ������ Benjamin Miller | Ok lady's
Please 🙏 stop the filters
#nofiltersneeded #nofilter | Instagram

What did the cherry tree say to George Washington?

“Don’t ax me.”

Young hot wife asks husband to fix the wobbly kitchen cabinet. He notes that it is a broken hinge and removes it. He gives it to his wife and sends her to the hardware store with instructions to buy the exact same hinge.

At the hardware store, she shows the hinge to the clerk and asks for a replacement. While he is finding the correct item, she notices a beautiful faucet that would look great in her kitchen. The clerk tells her that it is very expensive because it is made of solid gold.

At the cash register, he asks the woman: "do you want a screw for this hinge?"
She replies: "no, but I will for that faucet"

Dated a young lady many years ago, who was a twin.
Someone asked me how I could tell the twins apart.
I said Mary here, always paint he nails red, and Peter has a beard.

Two engineers are standing near a flagpole, when a young girl rides up on a bicycle and asks what they are doing. They tell her they are trying to figure out the height of the pole. The girl takes out a wrench, removes the bolts at the bottom, and lays the flagpole down. Then, she uses a tape measure and says, "it's 28 feet". After she rides away, one engineer says, "stupid girl, we need the height, not the length".