An odd thing happened at the square tonight
 

I took my son who is 37 years old and in a wheelchair to Brownwood tonight to listen to the music. It was Carole Ann and she was great.

I got him all set up in his usual spot in front of the stage, but to the side (so he wouldn't block anyone's view) and I got my chair and was sitting near the bleachers to listen to the entertainment.

A man came up to me and said that he had been told by other people and entertainers that they think it's rude for me to put him by the stage and just leave him there. Needless to say, I was at a loss for words. I wanted to retort back to him that it was not his business, but I didn't. I asked him specifically who told him that. But he wouldn't say.

I did tell him that my son was a Village resident and that one of his favorite things to do is listen to music. I told him that the entertainment was darned lucky to have a good audience who really loves the music. I also gently told him that if any entertainers didn't like a good audience that they should find a different line of work.

After the encounter, I just sat in my chair and started to feel very hurt by his remarks. I started thinking about all the horrible things I could have said to him, but of course I didn't. But I am still a little bit shaken by the fact that some people don't understand what it's like not to be able to see 10 feet in front of you, and have to depend on your parents to take you everywhere.

One of the principal reasons we moved to The Villages was the live entertainment every day of the year.

I am just happy that this is really the first time anyone has been so blatantly unkind to me since we moved here in 2011.

I've seen your son many times in front of the stage, and each time, my eyes fill with tears of joy, seeing him enjoy the music so, so much.

Our friends and visiting relatives feel the same way and have commented to us that it is wonderful seeing people with disabilities out there having fun like everyone else.

I suspect that the so-called man who said that "other people and entertainers" said that they think it's rude for you to put him by the stage and just leave him there.....didn't have the guts to say this was his own bone-headed judgement of the matter.

And I doubt the singers/players said anything like that. If anything, they would enjoy performing for someone as enthusiastic as your son or others with similar disabilities/wheelchair who are up front near the band.

If he would do that again, tell him it's none of his business and he'll have to find another listener for his mean-spirited talk.

Connie. It was totally sad you had to experience such a rude person to make inappropriate comments like he did. He had no right to make the comments he made and assign himself to speak for others. His actions and words were so blatantly wrong. As a fellow villager and friend both my wife and I feel bad you had to deal with this. Don't let people like him to bother you or discourage your family from enjoying the entertainment we all have the right to enjoy.

Thanks!

Great to get such a supportive response. I was just so flabbergasted when he actually made a point of coming up to me that I couldn't think of a quick reply!

Mouth Open
How would you even respond to such IDIOTS!

I'm so sorry this happened, Connie. Wow. I'm at a loss for words just hearing this story.

So sorry to hear this. You can't change rude!

I too am so sorry that you experienced this boorish comment and agree with the other posters that it is highly likely he is speaking only for himself. You handled the situation with grace and perhaps that sent a message to him.

I, too, have seen your son there. It's now rude to leave him at the stage so he can enjoy the performance? Pffffftttt...that idiot didn't know what he was talking about. Maybe he thinks its rude, but until he's been in your son's shoes for even half a day, he needs to shut up and mind his own business.

Connie, I am so mad and hurt for you all at the same time. I want you to know that one of the things about this place I love are people like you and Patrick and his wonderful dad too.

I want to find that man and beat him up and I wish that we all could have been there with you when he said these hateful, cruel, and wrong things.

I don't believe for a MINUTE that anyone else thought anything even similar to what he said.

Damn it. I am furious.

Hugs. Hugs. Hugs. Hugs and tears too.

Don't let the bastards grind you down. Illegitimi non carborundum! Saw this on a plaque in back of a blues singer a few days ago on CBS Nightly News.

I doubt if that person spoke for anything except his own stupidity and lack of empathy.

I'm sorry this happened to you. For the life of me I can not think of even a stupid reason why this person should care if your son sat where he sat. Try your best to just write it off as selfish ignorance and don't let it change the way you and your son enjoy the Villages lifestyle.

I, too, have seen your son at Brownwood and was happy he was able to have such a good location to listen to and watch the evening's performance.
It doesn't matter what others think, your son is happy and that's what is really important.

What people say and do reflects who they are inside. I'm ashamed for him.

How horrible!!! My heart goes out to you for having to encountered such a rude and thoughtless individual! Bless you and your family and hope you can continue to enjoy this wonderful place we call home. All that counts is that your son is happy!!!

I am so sorry that you had to experience this idiot. I swear that the way some people behave and act towards others, it seems like they just crawled out of the trees with no social skills.

You definitely took the high road and didn't lower yourself and engage in an argument with him.

Mark Twain once said "Never argue with a fool because a bystander will not be able to tell the difference"

Cquick, it's so lovely that your son can enjoy the music. Your lack of response was the best possible comeback. He wanted to start something, and you opted out. You are the better person, and he is an a... well, we all know what he is. Don't be hurt by someone lower than life.

God bless you and your son.

I feel for you. You might have said your beautiful son is not in a wheelchair because he wants to be!

How totally ignorant of a stranger to come up and say something like that. I don't think I would have been as civil as you were, in fact I know I would not have been civilized at all. :boxing2:

My heart goes out to you.
 

This is a sad situation. Shame on this person to say such things. Maybe he should mind his own business!! I also see your son parked up by the stage and I alway smile because I can see how much he enjoys the entertainment. Don't let this bonehead ruin your day. There's always someone out there who oversteps their boundaries and this loudmouth did. Keep on doing what you are doing. You have plenty of support by your fellow TOTVers. Get out there and enjoy the music!!

"A man came up to me and said that he had been told by other people and entertainers that they think it's rude for me to put him by the stage and just leave him there."
Could it be the man felt sorry for your son being left alone, while you went and sat with other friends. I'm not saying you did anything wrong. But maybe the man thought you kind of abandoned him up by the stage.

Connie, your lack of response to him was the best way to handle it. If you had run up and moved him, he would have won, but you didn't. Bring him everywhere you want and make sure that he enjoys every single minute of the entertainment. Bravo!!

:agree:

Unbelievable. He was also probably one of the people who rope off 30 seats at 4PM as well, just to add to the hypocrisy. You just keep taking your son everywhere he wants to go---you and all parents of children with disabilities deserve sainthood. I might also suggest the following response---" Good evening sir, but I am at a loss to understand why you would ever interject yourself into my business with such a rude comment"---it should leave him speechless and apologetic

I did wonder if he thought you were being rude for leaving him alone or because he didn't want to see a younger person in a chair. Either way, the man was a dolt and you were a total lady. Your son is very fortunate to have such caring parents. We Villagers are fortunate to have your family, especially your son, enjoying the Squares. Thank you for taking him there and bringing joy to those who can see how much he is enjoying himself. For the dolt, his loss.

same here - have seen your son there many nights and enjoy seeing him enjoying the music -- also like the lights on the wheelchair!!!! -- don't change what you are doing for one SMALL person - he is wrong and you are right!!! God Bless!

I really hope this rude idiot reads TOTV

yes, I thought about that too. Maybe he did think that my husband and I just stuck him up there and left.......but most people see us taking careof him, talking to him, dancing with him, giving him a drink at breaktime. It's possible that this person didn't realize that it's our son's choice to be where he sits.

BUT.

It was none of his business, and he should have waited and watched and noticed the caring love you always show Patrick, before he ran his mouth.

By the overwhelming supportive response to your story, you can see that others are appalled at what this jerk said to you. He's a bully. Don't internalize his boorish behavior. The fact that he had to include unnamed "others" means he is weak and didn't have the courage to launch this attack on his own. Living with himself is his own personal punishment.

Bingo.

I thought of lots of smart remarks afterwards, but yours is one of the best.

Not that I'll remember to use it the next time this happens, and this sort of thing happens more often than people realize.

Sadly. Yes it does.

I have noticed since moving here that some residents have a perception of what The Villages is and anything that alters that perception caused them to short circuit. One of those is the misconception that The Villages should be only a retirement community for retirees only ( empty nesters) . so if for any reason or no reason they find a couples' child has moved with them it does fit their reality.

My response would not have been something of a defensive nature it would have been something of an offensive manner like "that is an interesting statement you are making ...could you elaborate as to why you believe you have the right to broadcast your remarks and your reason for doing so.............Perhaps you would find that the guy never gave it much thought and was overreacting

As long as there is no safety issue I see no problem.

You would hope that living in a retirement community where more of us experience problems as we age, those of us that currently do not have problems would be understanding of those that do.

At first I was outraged when I read your message and then I felt sad you had to experience such ignorance. Remember you can't fix stupid!! Continue to enjoy yourself and know that many of us admire you and the loving way you care for your son.

It makes me so sad to hear this, but very proud of the loving support you are getting here at TOTV. Please don't let the odd behavior of one individual make you second guess what you and your son love to do.
I have never gone down to say hello to him, and wonder if your son would welcome strangers stopping by to say hello when he is enjoying the band? I wouldn't want to upset him if he is sensitive to strangers, but it might give that fellow pause to see the right way to behave.

Perfect word..............IGNORANCE.

A Village Idiot.

I had the same thought but was afraid to verbalize it for fear of getting trounced. Perhaps he felt badly for him sitting by himself?

My husband and I were there last night, sitting a few rows behind you. Like others, we have seen your son enjoying the music many times. I am so sorry that this person intruded on your pleasant evening. Please know that this man has a viewpoint that is not shared by many others. Keep on bringing your son to the square and don't let this get you down.

Patrick is a terrific young man and Connie and Chuck are great parents! I have kept Patrick company on several occasions to give Connie and Chuck the opportunity to attend Village events.I can tell anyone that I have personal experience with this family and Patrick's well being is the number one concern in their lives.Patrick has attended several rehearsals of our doo wop group and the entertainers love him.As one who has worked in this field professionally,I continue to be amazed at the ignorance of people.God bless the Quicks!