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Talk of The Villages Florida (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/)
-   The Villages, Florida, General Discussion (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/)
-   -   Pushy exercise woman (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/pushy-exercise-woman-242233/)

Md girl 06-08-2017 01:59 PM
Pushy exercise woman
 
This morning I went to Chula Vista Rec Center to participate in a class. This was not my first time there. I tried to go to the back so I would not be in anyone's way. I was told that was not a good place ,then the woman preceded to put her hands on my shoulders and push me into what she considered a suitable place for me. I kept quiet not wanting to start any trouble. As soon as there was a break in the last, she immediately started running her mouth to another participant about me. I walked over and picked up my things and left. I'm not sure who died and left this woman in charge, I hope she reads this. Because I want her to know she was lucky I did not press charges against her for putting her hands on me. As far as I know I have the same rights as anyone else. I pay my fees to use the facilities just like everyone. So who ever you are count your blessings that I did not have you arrested, perhaps you should think twice before putting your hands on anyone.

Bogie Shooter 06-08-2017 02:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Md girl (Post 1408887)
This morning I went to Chula Vista Rec Center to participate in a class. This was not my first time there. I tried to go to the back so I would not be in anyone's way. I was told that was not a good place ,then the woman preceded to put her hands on my shoulders and push me into what she considered a suitable place for me. I kept quiet not wanting to start any trouble. As soon as there was a break in the last, she immediately started running her mouth to another participant about me. I walked over and picked up my things and left. I'm not sure who died and left this woman in charge, I hope she reads this. Because I want her to know she was lucky I did not press charges against her for putting her hands on me. As far as I know I have the same rights as anyone else. I pay my fees to use the facilities just like everyone. So who ever you are count your blessings that I did not have you arrested, perhaps you should think twice before putting your hands on anyone.
You should contact the Rec Dept with your concerns.

Recreation Administration
984 Old Mill Run
The Villages, FL* 32162

Phone: 352-674-1800

manaboutown 06-08-2017 02:46 PM
You might want to return to attend the next class and use your phone or have a friend use her phone to take a picture of this woman so she can be identified if you do not know her name. If she becomes belligerent again perhaps you could video her behavior to be used in court or posted on social media. However, this might run afoul of TV's no photo policy about which I have heard so check it out first.

graciegirl 06-08-2017 03:01 PM
[

You have a very legitimate complaint. I would like to go with you and push her. ( I have never done anything even close to that in my whole life) I feel so angry on your behalf.

That was so WRONG. SO unkind. AND I have had people in an exercise class at Odell do something very similar about six years ago. I stopped going.. Who teaches these nasty woman to be so ........Ballsy???

I am so sorry this happened and I am so angry about what happened to you.

manaboutown 06-08-2017 03:19 PM
People can be banned from various Villages facilities. The "other site" published a story on March 13, 2016 about an individual banned from various Villages facilities arrested at Chula Vista for trespassing.

Carl in Tampa 06-08-2017 03:21 PM
Complain
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by manaboutown (Post 1408902)
You might want to return to attend the next class and use your phone or have a friend use her phone to take a picture of this woman so she can be identified if you do not know her name. If she becomes belligerent again perhaps you could video her behavior to be used in court or posted on social media. However, this might run afoul of TV's no photo policy about which I have heard so check it out first.
Complain to the Recreation Department. Posting it on TOTV doesn't get the job done.

With regard to manaboutown's suggestion, I consider "TV's no photo policy" to be an urban myth until they start posting warning signs at every TV owned property saying that photos are prohibited.

Contrary to his suggestion that you check it out first....... I wouldn't. You can't be faulted for an alleged policy that they can't show that you knew.

manaboutown 06-08-2017 03:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl in Tampa (Post 1408915)
Complain to the Recreation Department. Posting it on TOTV doesn't get the job done.

With regard to manaboutown's suggestion, I consider "TV's no photo policy" to be an urban myth until they start posting warning signs at every TV owned property saying that photos are prohibited.

Contrary to his suggestion that you check it out first....... I wouldn't. You can't be faulted for an alleged policy that they can't show that you knew.
But what about "Ignorance of the law is no excuse"? I realize a policy is not necessarily law... your thoughts?

Villageswimmer 06-08-2017 04:09 PM
So you take a photo. What then? If it happens again, tell her bluntly to keep her hands to herself then immediately go to the Rec Asst. on duty and request assistance. Don't retreat and leave.

Also, keep in mind that in this aging population, there are those among us who lose their filters and need to be told without delay that their behavior is unacceptable. Please don't stop attending because of this incident. Namaste.

Taltarzac725 06-08-2017 04:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Md girl (Post 1408887)
This morning I went to Chula Vista Rec Center to participate in a class. This was not my first time there. I tried to go to the back so I would not be in anyone's way. I was told that was not a good place ,then the woman preceded to put her hands on my shoulders and push me into what she considered a suitable place for me. I kept quiet not wanting to start any trouble. As soon as there was a break in the last, she immediately started running her mouth to another participant about me. I walked over and picked up my things and left. I'm not sure who died and left this woman in charge, I hope she reads this. Because I want her to know she was lucky I did not press charges against her for putting her hands on me. As far as I know I have the same rights as anyone else. I pay my fees to use the facilities just like everyone. So who ever you are count your blessings that I did not have you arrested, perhaps you should think twice before putting your hands on anyone.
So sorry that happened to you.

Carl in Tampa 06-08-2017 04:14 PM
Trespass Warning
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by manaboutown (Post 1408918)
But what about "Ignorance of the law is no excuse"? I realize a policy is not necessarily law... your thoughts?
Under Florida law, if a person is on private property and is violating a policy or standard of behavior, the owner or manger of the property can order the person to leave. The policy being violated must be explained.

If the person refuses, the owner or manager can call the police. When the police arrive, the offender generally is given the option to conform to the policy or to leave. If the offender refuses to conform, the police officer issues a "Trespass Warning" in writing, telling the offender to leave the property.

If the offender refuses to leave, the officer makes an arrest. The arrest is not for violating the policy, but for violating the Trespass Warning. That's why the arrest is not made when the officer first arrives. There is no offense until the Trespass Warning is served on the offender.

At the Sheriff's Office where I worked, this is how it was done. Every deputy carried blank Trespass Warnings which the deputy could execute. Other agencies may consider a verbal warning from their officers to be sufficient.

The Trespass Warning may be for a temporary period or perpetual, at the option of the owner or manager of the property.

SO..........absent being put on notice by The Villages that photography is prohibited at a particular venue, you must be warned before your are in violation of the policy.

Ignorance of the law is quite different from ignorance of the rules.

VApeople 06-08-2017 04:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Md girl (Post 1408887)
I was told that was not a good place ,then the woman preceded to put her hands on my shoulders and push me into what she considered a suitable place for me.

As far as I know I have the same rights as anyone else.
If you don't fight for your rights, you will lose them.

That does not mean you had to beat her up. If you had just screamed loudly at her and kept on screaming, she probably would have left you alone.

dbussone 06-08-2017 04:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl in Tampa (Post 1408937)
Under Florida law, if a person is on private property and is violating a policy or standard of behavior, the owner or manger of the property can order the person to leave. The policy being violated must be explained.



If the person refuses, the owner or manager can call the police. When the police arrive, the offender generally is given the option to conform to the policy or to leave. If the offender refuses to conform, the police officer issues a "Trespass Warning" in writing, telling the offender to leave the property.



If the offender refuses to leave, the officer makes an arrest. The arrest is not for violating the policy, but for violating the Trespass Warning. That's why the arrest is not made when the officer first arrives. There is no offense until the Trespass Warning is served on the offender.



At the Sheriff's Office where I worked, this is how it was done. Every deputy carried blank Trespass Warnings which the deputy could execute. Other agencies may consider a verbal warning from their officers to be sufficient.



The Trespass Warning may be for a temporary period or perpetual, at the option of the owner or manager of the property.



SO..........absent being put on notice by The Villages that photography is prohibited at a particular venue, you must be warned before your are in violation of the policy.



Ignorance of the law is quite different from ignorance of the rules.


Thanks for the education. Interesting.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

Villageswimmer 06-08-2017 04:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl in Tampa (Post 1408937)
Under Florida law, if a person is on private property and is violating a policy or standard of behavior, the owner or manger of the property can order the person to leave. The policy being violated must be explained.

If the person refuses, the owner or manager can call the police. When the police arrive, the offender generally is given the option to conform to the policy or to leave. If the offender refuses to conform, the police officer issues a "Trespass Warning" in writing, telling the offender to leave the property.

If the offender refuses to leave, the officer makes an arrest. The arrest is not for violating the policy, but for violating the Trespass Warning. That's why the arrest is not made when the officer first arrives. There is no offense until the Trespass Warning is served on the offender.

At the Sheriff's Office where I worked, this is how it was done. Every deputy carried blank Trespass Warnings which the deputy could execute. Other agencies may consider a verbal warning from their officers to be sufficient.

The Trespass Warning may be for a temporary period or perpetual, at the option of the owner or manager of the property.

SO..........absent being put on notice by The Villages that photography is prohibited at a particular venue, you must be warned before your are in violation of the policy.

Ignorance of the law is quite different from ignorance of the rules.

OP, do you really consider this incident a physical assault where law enforcement should be summoned? Just MHO, but you may be getting advice here that's a bit over the top. I could be wrong. I often am.

manaboutown 06-08-2017 04:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl in Tampa (Post 1408937)
Ignorance of the law is quite different from ignorance of the rules.
Thank you, Carl, for that clear and detailed explanation. That seems to me to be a well thought out and reasonable way to handle matters such as the OP experienced.

Madelaine Amee 06-08-2017 04:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Md girl (Post 1408887)
This morning I went to Chula Vista Rec Center to participate in a class. This was not my first time there. I tried to go to the back so I would not be in anyone's way. I was told that was not a good place ,then the woman preceded to put her hands on my shoulders and push me into what she considered a suitable place for me. I kept quiet not wanting to start any trouble. As soon as there was a break in the last, she immediately started running her mouth to another participant about me. I walked over and picked up my things and left. I'm not sure who died and left this woman in charge, I hope she reads this. Because I want her to know she was lucky I did not press charges against her for putting her hands on me. As far as I know I have the same rights as anyone else. I pay my fees to use the facilities just like everyone. So who ever you are count your blessings that I did not have you arrested, perhaps you should think twice before putting your hands on anyone.
I feel for you because I have been there. I used to attend a class several days a week, it really got to be like "family", we would talk and laugh and then split up to our "favorite" areas to do our thing. One winter season a woman returned from wherever and literally took over the class from the back. She critiqued several of us and took it upon herself to give us private instruction, but she set her sights on me and kept bothering me until I finally gave up the classes and stopped going. It is extremely difficult to listen to your instructor along with the music playing, and then to have someone talking into your ear and telling you you are not doing it right! When I think back she did indeed grab me by the arm and pull me.

Unfortunately these people are out there and I have seen them in almost every class I have taken, they have the need to be the most important person in the room.

Chatbrat 06-08-2017 04:47 PM
A person touches you call 911 and have them arrested for battery

pqrstar 06-08-2017 05:12 PM
Perhaps you could have a friendly chat with the instructor and ask them make a blanket announcement at the start of the class that there are no reserved spots in the class.

Also, (if you like) ask the instructor to remind the class to be understanding of newbies who are trying to learn the routine.

If the instructor thinks that class may be too advanced for you, ask them if they could recommend another class that might fit you better.

rubicon 06-08-2017 05:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Md girl (Post 1408887)
This morning I went to Chula Vista Rec Center to participate in a class. This was not my first time there. I tried to go to the back so I would not be in anyone's way. I was told that was not a good place ,then the woman preceded to put her hands on my shoulders and push me into what she considered a suitable place for me. I kept quiet not wanting to start any trouble. As soon as there was a break in the last, she immediately started running her mouth to another participant about me. I walked over and picked up my things and left. I'm not sure who died and left this woman in charge, I hope she reads this. Because I want her to know she was lucky I did not press charges against her for putting her hands on me. As far as I know I have the same rights as anyone else. I pay my fees to use the facilities just like everyone. So who ever you are count your blessings that I did not have you arrested, perhaps you should think twice before putting your hands on anyone.
So why didn't you simply say to her "who died and left you boss"?
flashpoints are common at fitness centers. some sit on equipment while visiting with friends, some rudely stand right in front of a machine your using .... A direct but polite response usually does the trick. Even f this woman is a member of this forum I'll wager she would not recognize it is she you are describing

Personal Best Regards:

pklein9747 06-08-2017 05:48 PM
If this happens again, please go to the person in charge at the Rec Center and report it. You have every right to be in that exercise class and, within reason, stand where you want and not be manhandled or criticized by another person at the activity.

Recreation takes these complaints seriously. We had a problem several years ago with a woman at water volleyball. Several people complained, filed written complaints and she was banned from the pool for six months. It made playing so much nicer :)

Fredster 06-08-2017 06:20 PM
In a lot of situations another person may truly be out of line and obnoxious,
but sometimes our own fear to speak up and defend our boundries is also a problem.
You don't have to get in a shouting match,
but you can simply tell them you don't need their direction and assistance.
If that bothers them, that is their issue to deal with.
I think as I've gotten older it has become easier
to deal with the occasional jerk!
When you deal with one, another will pop up down the line, (there is no shortage),
so I found it better to improve my method of dealing with them.

marianne237 06-08-2017 07:09 PM
Sadly, you find this at so many things happening in the Villages. I used to exercise at the pool, but was told more than once that I had to move because that space was saved "for my friend". And, you will also find this at Operation Shoebox, or any other of the charities. It's just rude and thoughtless people.... Consider the source and let it go. After 2 bouts of cancer, I've learned to "just let it go" and walk away.

Carl in Tampa 06-08-2017 07:13 PM
Not advice.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Villageswimmer (Post 1408941)
OP, do you really consider this incident a physical assault where law enforcement should be summoned? Just MHO, but you may be getting advice here that's a bit over the top. I could be wrong. I often am.
The above was posted as a response to my discussion of why you can take photos in a facility owned by The Villages in the absence of notification that photography is forbidden.

My post had nothing to do with having the OP call the police.

It's hard to see why my post was "over the top," and it certainly was not "advice."

mokey 06-08-2017 07:41 PM
There appears to be no exercise classes at Chula on Thursday morning. When did this happen?

bassfish 06-08-2017 08:21 PM
Girl, you need to go back to that class and stand wherever you want to. If she says anything tell her to mind her own business.

Fraugoofy 06-08-2017 08:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Md girl (Post 1408887)
This morning I went to Chula Vista Rec Center to participate in a class. This was not my first time there. I tried to go to the back so I would not be in anyone's way. I was told that was not a good place ,then the woman preceded to put her hands on my shoulders and push me into what she considered a suitable place for me. I kept quiet not wanting to start any trouble. As soon as there was a break in the last, she immediately started running her mouth to another participant about me. I walked over and picked up my things and left. I'm not sure who died and left this woman in charge, I hope she reads this. Because I want her to know she was lucky I did not press charges against her for putting her hands on me. As far as I know I have the same rights as anyone else. I pay my fees to use the facilities just like everyone. So who ever you are count your blessings that I did not have you arrested, perhaps you should think twice before putting your hands on anyone.
This is unacceptable. I will gladly go with you to that class and help you deal with this bully in a nice, but firm way. PM me if you need a buddy on this one... Rae

Sent from my SM-N910R4 using Tapatalk

ColdNoMore 06-08-2017 08:40 PM
To the OP.

Bullies can only bully...if people let them.

While I realize that a lot of people prefer to avoid any type of confrontation (and there's nothing wrong with that usually), if someone did that to me I would be compelled to tell them something along the lines of... "you do not have the right to tell me what to do and you certainly don't have the right to touch me...so I suggest you cease and don't try either again." :shrug:

ColdNoMore 06-08-2017 08:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraugoofy (Post 1409025)
This is unacceptable. I will gladly go with you to that class and help you deal with this bully in a nice, but firm way. PM me if you need a buddy on this one... Rae
Can I watch? :boxing2:


:D

Fraugoofy 06-08-2017 08:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ColdNoMore (Post 1409029)
Can I watch? :boxing2:


:D
The more the merrier!

Sent from my SM-N910R4 using Tapatalk

Barefoot 06-08-2017 08:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marianne237 (Post 1408978)
Sadly, you find this at so many things happening in the Villages. I used to exercise at the pool, but was told more than once that I had to move because that space was saved "for my friend". And, you will also find this at Operation Shoebox, or any other of the charities. It's just rude and thoughtless people.... Consider the source and let it go. After 2 bouts of cancer, I've learned to "just let it go" and walk away.
Good advice. :thumbup:

theorem painter 06-09-2017 06:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mokey (Post 1408991)
There appears to be no exercise classes at Chula on Thursday morning. When did this happen?
I am a little surprised that anyone would bother to look this up. I am hoping that you are not questioning the honesty of the OP. BTW there are many exercise classes that are not listed in the Rec News.

John_W 06-09-2017 08:14 AM
My wife just told me for the three years we've been members of MVP she has heard that same story numerous times, it happens at many of the centers. That's one reason MVP is doing so well. At Colony she was told you have to come to class an hour early to get a ticket and then come back when class actually starts and show your ticket. Some people will put up with it and some people will go somewhere else.

Bonny 06-09-2017 09:32 AM
I'm reading all of these posts and I'm just feeling many people's blood pressure rising as I read, call the police, have her arrested, scream at her, take me with you, I'll take care of her, take her picture. This all sounds way over the top. So many here are getting so worked up. There really are better ways to handle things.
I have never liked bullies, but we are all adults here. Sometimes we just have to stand up for ourselves.
She could have just told her, don't ever put your hands on me!! If I need anyone's assistance, I will ask for it.
If there were anything else said about it, I would have gone to the instructor. I may also have talked to the instructor after the class.
Hope everyone has an awesome day!!! ;)

Topspinmo 06-09-2017 09:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Md girl (Post 1408887)
This morning I went to Chula Vista Rec Center to participate in a class. This was not my first time there. I tried to go to the back so I would not be in anyone's way. I was told that was not a good place ,then the woman preceded to put her hands on my shoulders and push me into what she considered a suitable place for me. I kept quiet not wanting to start any trouble. As soon as there was a break in the last, she immediately started running her mouth to another participant about me. I walked over and picked up my things and left. I'm not sure who died and left this woman in charge, I hope she reads this. Because I want her to know she was lucky I did not press charges against her for putting her hands on me. As far as I know I have the same rights as anyone else. I pay my fees to use the facilities just like everyone. So who ever you are count your blessings that I did not have you arrested, perhaps you should think twice before putting your hands on anyone.
Sad to say you will find these types everywhere, Don't let them run you off. You have every right to be there as long as you are card caring member. The Rec facilities are here for you.

Topspinmo 06-09-2017 09:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by pklein9747 (Post 1408961)
If this happens again, please go to the person in charge at the Rec Center and report it. You have every right to be in that exercise class and, within reason, stand where you want and not be manhandled or criticized by another person at the activity.

Recreation takes these complaints seriously. We had a problem several years ago with a woman at water volleyball. Several people complained, filed written complaints and she was banned from the pool for six months. It made playing so much nicer :)
I agree, I guarantee the lady in charge of Chula WILL take care of it. She runs that place like Marine Officer. Nice and firm like it should be.

2BNTV 06-09-2017 11:50 AM
A friend of mine in his 50's when kidding around will say, "Ill beat you up". I reply , I hope you have fun in jail with your your cellmate as it is a felony to put your hands on a senior citizen. :D

Seriously, I would never allow anyone to put their hands on me an unfriendly manner. I think letting her know this is unacceptable and reporting her, should be your next steps.

Some people think they have a sense of entitlement in TV. This person needs to be set straight.

Rapscallion St Croix 06-10-2017 11:33 AM
I would have thanked her and suggested that she might want to go wash her hands with a powerful disinfectant and buy a case of anti-itch cream. I would add that by tomorrow morning she should discover why I chose to post myself in the back of the class.

jsw14 06-12-2017 06:25 PM
If that was my Wife be'in treated that way, my wife would have put her on the floor..........The End

Mama C 06-12-2017 06:45 PM
Really people?! Arrest her!! She probably just thought she was being friendly and helping you get involved.... Geesh! just tell her politely to not touch you--I can't believe she was assaulting you.... Some people are just more physical than others and others are just too quick to judge

U

graciegirl 06-12-2017 07:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama C (Post 1410759)
Really people?! Arrest her!! She probably just thought she was being friendly and helping you get involved.... Geesh! just tell her politely to not touch you--I can't believe she was assaulting you.... Some people are just more physical than others and others are just too quick to judge

U
Read it again.

gatherer47 06-12-2017 08:47 PM
Mama C-blaming the victim?


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