Rude, Rude, Rude!
 

Yesterday, we had an appointment in Leesburg with our primary doctor for my husband's follow up after hospitalization. Our appointment was for 3:00 and we got there around 2:15. We were early by a long shot, so no problem.

At 2:30, this lady comes walking in, gives them her name, and announces, "I'm late." No reason given for being late, just "I'm late". The lady behind the window tells her, "Yes, mam. Your appointment was for 1:45, so we will have to reschedule you."

"Why?"

"Because we have 4 other patients that are here on time for their appointments. Taking you next would not be fair to to them or to the doctor for backing up the entire remainder of his schedule."

"Well, I ALWAYS have to wait an hour in here, then another hour when I go back to see him, so what's the big deal? I suppose that doesn't work both ways, huh?" (We have NEVER waited that long to see him, and he has been our doctor for about 10 years. Close, but never. They always apologized and explained the reason; emergency, longer than anticipated hospital rounds, etc. He would always apologize as well.)

"I'm sorry, mam, but you will still have to reschedule."

By then, I had just about had it with her! I told her, "Look, this is a doctor's office. Some appointments take an hour, some take an hour and a half, some take 15 minutes. He gives each of his patients whatever time they need. This is in-between fielding hospital calls from nurses concerning his patients there, sometimes."

That lady just gave me a dirty look. Then with a big sigh, got rescheduled and left. Totally beyond rude; not only to the receptionist, but to the other patients ON TIME, and the practice.

This is exactly why I will never have another HMO because they are only allotted so much time per patient. This is not the case with PPO's, which is what we have. We don't have to say "mother may I" to choose our doctors, either. Our doctor recommends, but we do not have to take his recommendation. If the specialist's office we choose requires a referral, he submits it. We try to use doctors within our network because of lower co-pays or already having a history with them.

Yes, we did have a longer than usual wait because we were 45 minutes EARLY. Absolutely no problem. We did not expect to "jump the line". We were early by choice, so that barring anything unforeseen, we would not be late. Some who came in after us were seen first only because their appointments were scheduled ahead of ours. A couple of patients were there when we left.

To me, your description of events doesn't come close to rudeness, more like assertiveness.

By whom...the early patient or the late patient?

By the one accused of rudeness. I don't consider getting involved in someone else's business being assertive.

That's reasonable.

But if they take the late patient long after her appointment, it could be the early patient's business.

I am confused. Why did the OP feel that it was his/her place to confront the late patient? The receptionist is there to manage patient flow and seems from the description to have been doing it well. The OP had "had it with her" after 3 or 4 sentences were exchanged?

And there is absolutely no difference in the scheduling of patients whether you are covered by HMO or PPO policies. The amount of time allotted for a visit is up to the practice to decide and not dictated by the insurance company. Almost all carriers sell both PPO and HMO plans. I doubt many providers even look at what your insurance is until they are writing a script to stay in a formulary or making a referral to stay in network.

I understand you may have been stressed by your husband's recent illness and hope he is recovering nicely. There may have been more than one "rude" person in that waiting room.

It sounds to me like the receptionist took care of the situation with the late arrival :ohdear: and stood her ground :MOJE_whot: on rescheduling her appointment.

There doesn't seem to have been a reason for the OP to have gotten involved - but if she wants to get involved, do it.

Whatever.

In which case the assertion should be directed towards the receptionist. There is no reason for the OP to say a word to the other patient. To do so is nothing more than provocation.

I agree with Blueash!

I have no problem with what the OP did. The late person was, at a minimum, a jerk.

I do think there is a difference between hmo and ppo insurance in scheduling appointments and the time the doctor spends with the patient. An hmo pays a doctor not to treat patients, while a ppo pays the doctor based on the treatment he/she performs and the doctor can bill more money for a longer visit. This may sound cynical, but it is the way it works.

I do think there is a difference between hmo and ppo insurance in scheduling appointments and the time the doctor spends with the patient. An hmo pays a doctor not to treat patients, while a ppo pays the doctor based on the treatment he/she performs and the doctor can bill more money for a longer visit. This may sound cynical, but it is the way it works.

Many problems start because people don't mind their own business and get involved when they shouldn't. Nothing good ever comes from that. Obviously the receptionist was handling the issue just fine and certainly didn't need any help.

Dear OP:

You may want to review the "Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior In Company and Conversation" as it will explain that you were totally out of line

Personal Best Regards:

When growing up the adults would always get involved when someone was obviusly rude, inconsiderate or just ignorant. They didn't hide from confrontation. Today, avoiding confrontation is a way of life and most ore on their own in all situations. People get shot in the middle of a crowd, yet nobody saw anything. Accidents happen and people keep driving. Unrest occurrs and the first thing anyone does is grab their cell phone to take pictures and videos. Then we all complain about the state of life, bullying of kids and seniors. I know it's not as prevalent here in TV but life has changed, politically correct is all the rage and IMO we all suffer becuase of it.

Agree. Sounded like receptionist was handling it well. No need to make a scene. Namaste.

I am puzzled by all the dialogue in quotation marks. I wonder if the OP recorded the conversations, takes dictation like a champ, or just has a splendid memory.

I think that perhaps the receptionist was happy that the OP spoke up to reinforce that the late patient was out of line. I don't see any problem with what she did.

I think it is just as likely that the receptionist was not happy and was insulted that the OP thought she needed assistance doing her job.

I agree with Dillywho and I KNOW Dillywho. I know her very well. AND she is always fair, reasonable, responsible and thinks things out. I have never heard her speak out to a stranger in the ten years I have known her. She is a well mannered and intelligent lady, a retired nurse and comes from a long line of medical people. I know that if we had been there, we too would have felt terribly annoyed at this rude woman.

On one of our (Henry, Helene and I go together) doctors visits for a check up, someone came in and demanded to be seen and was told that wasn't possible, that she needed to make an appointment. She continued to be very angry and demanding and was causing us all to be uncomfortable. The rest of us in the waiting room were raising our eyebrows at each other and exchanging looks. I wish someone would have said to her that it is people like her who think their issues are the most important who cause great inconvenience and stress for the rest of us.

Sometimes people NEED to open their mouths. Most times they should keep them shut. Dillywho is someone whose mouth is shut most of the time.

She is well known and well liked for her gentleness and patience. She is one of the most decent people I have ever met.

Was the person in question someone you know ? Or just from NYC ? Or both ?

Dilly had told me about this earlier and this post left out some really rude remarks on the part of the late woman.

I think the title of the thread...is very apt. :thumbup:

Unless of course, the late patient stole a flower from a vase on the receptionist's counter...then I might have said something.



:D

OH no. I can just hear that....

You are confusing an HMO with a capitated plan. While some HMO's operate on a capitated basis, most do not. The major difference is that in an HMO you only have coverage in network and no benefits if you go out of network. In a PPO your benefits are better in network but you have some coverage if you stray. In an HMO non-capitated plan the doctor bills on a fee for service basis just as he would in a PPO

However even in a capitated plan, no doctor is paid to not see patients. Rather the doctor is paid the same whether you are seen or not as he receives a pre-determined amount per month for managing your non-specialist care. Only if he keeps you happy will he continue to receive this monthly amount so not seeing you certainly will cost him money.

While I really don't have a reason to question what you say, I am going strictly by previous experience an HMO. You are right. They are paid a set amount per patient. Therefore, the more patients they see, the more money they get. To me, that translates to less time per patient. They are also constrained by the number of referrals to specialists they make.

This happened to us in Texas when our plant coverage was with an HMO. Our doctor that we had had for years chose not to participate and we were forced to change doctors to have coverage. Long story short, we received a letter from this doctor one day saying that he had been ordered to cut his number of First Care patients because he was making too many referrals. By then, our original doctor had joined because so many of his patients were employed at the same plant we were. We went back to him. Fortunately, for us, he was able to basically beat them at their own game and get the care he needed for ALL his patients.

As a matter of fact, she was happy. I only spoke up when I saw that the lady was becoming more abusive to her. After she finally left, the receptionist thanked me, as did some of the others in the waiting room. I was not rude or hateful to that woman (lady is putting it loosely), but simply trying to back her off by pointing out why doctors are not always on schedule to the minute.

Apparently, it worked, because she simmered down, rescheduled, and left without another word. An apology from her to the receptionist would have been nice, though.

Hmmm. I had best tell my HMO that the 45 minutes my doc spends with me is not in alignment with your experience.
I also can go to any provider in the directory and I need not beg permission.
The role of a medical provider is to listen, assess, plan and follow through. If there are any bumps in the road along the way, it is generally the office staffs job to make repairs.
My doc does not have a viper at the reception desk either. If you are out of line as an employee, your job is in demand. Others will happily fill your clogs.
If the patient is a moron, the listening continues and the issue needs to be taken out of lobby. It is a HIPAA violation to discuss these things in earshot of others.
So, my healthcare is really NOT as good as I thought? My top notch neurosurgeon needs to reconsider his affiliation and be a push em' out the door kinda guy?
Nah. I have operated within the frame of insurance regulations for 26 years. I have had HMO coverage for 22 of those 26 years. When meds are rejected at the pharmacy, the former or current employer is responsible, NOT the pharmacy or MD prescribing. If it is Medicare, there are ways to get it covered but it may take work. The Dr cannot possibly know who covers what as it changes constantly.
So, I will keep my HMO as will my husband who was treated for melanoma of the eye. Chemo IN HIS EYE and the whole bit.
HMO.
Health Maintenance Organization.
It is often up to the covered person to manage this. It is not that difficult. In our case, it's a no-brainer.

Let me be clear my comments are not directly directed at the OP but the actions taken by the OP.

Once again "Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior In Company and Conversation" explain the error. The OP was not a party to this business discussion.

We are all different and in this specific situation reticence by the OP was required because all the OP did was add fuel to this fire.

One poster describes the OP as "always being...." I would like to believe that I am "always.... but that is an absolute and thus not humanly possible "generally"perhaps but not "always".

This poster also identified the OP as a retired RN and that explains the OP response the Op was in essence defending the medical community and hence defending his/herself. The type of facility was of no consequence because the issue was a missed appointment

In some medical offices a missed appointment means being charged the cost of the appointment.

Perhaps not" always". My affection and admiration for this woman made me emotionally defensive.

I notice that my age has caused me to be more outspoken than I used to be.

I am surprised Dilly spoke out, but she did and to me and how I was raised,she was right. Sometimes being silent isn't the right thing to do.

I have rarely shared my views on politics except with my family and close friends, nor even had passionate views on world affairs until this last decade of my life. It could be part of our human development that as we age we speak up on things that we had not previously.

I have defended you many times on the political forum Rubicon, because I have read your posts for many years. This one is true to you and doesn't surprise me. We are who we are and don't have a whole lot of time left to be here and to speak up.

I agree with Rubicon, but sometimes one just can't help but speak out. If I had been there, I'd be too chicken to do that. However, I would be silently applauding the receptionist while it was going on and would have commended her after the rude customer left the building. Where I might have spoken out would have been if the receptionist did not make the woman reschedule, thereby pushing the others back.

I was taught to hold my tongue if I don't know all the circumstances. No one knows what the late lady might have been going through in her life.

Sounds like what you said to this woman was very reasonable given the situation. I avoid personal confrontation as much as possible so probably would not have had the guts to speak up against the lady in question's actions.

My 2 cents:

- Who knows the possible stress the "rude lady" may have been under when late - accident, ticket, illness, etc etc.
- Perhaps her previous Dr appts - had to wait an inordinate amount of time to be called after arrival.

Have had MANY times rushing to be on time for a Dr appt, made it on time, and waited an hour in the waiting and then 'little' room. Yes, Drs have delays - but still can be frustrating.

I could see myself in the position the OP was, and be VERY tempted to say something as well. But as I aged, the first two matters in my posting would have come to mind and probably bit my tongue, as well as... she may be 'packing', and would not want to be the subject in 'headline news'...

And now 2 cents from the other side of the counter:

I don't need or want patients in the waiting room getting involved with other patients at the window. We had a post and sign for those waiting at the counter to stay back. There are very strict HIPPA privacy laws with huge penalties if a provider does not take certain minimum steps to ensure privacy. While "I'm late" is not covered by HIPPA, you never know what else could be said and construed as a violation.

My receptionists were professionals, very well trained and knew how to handle almost every situation, up to and including an armed intruder, a bomb threat, and a hostage situation. They did not need any help from the "peanut gallery". A rude patient???? Happened 5x a day, and our providers ran within 10 minutes of the scheduled appointment 95% of the time. Last thing we needed was amateur involvement inflaming the situation or violating HIPPA.

The OP arrives at the appointment 45 minutes early? If she arrived 20 minutes early she would have missed the situation. But I feel her day would have been emptier without a good confrontation.

Sent from my VS995 using Tapatalk

It is good to see the doctor's point of view. GE. Thanks for adding that. I have had wanted all my various doctor-patient meetings to be as private as possible. Not that I have many of these. Over the last thirty years I have seen doctors maybe six times unless there were extraordinary circumstances involved where I would also be talking to law enforcement agencies. And a lot of those appointments with doctors were because my pee came up with blood when I had a physical for a seasonal position for the US Postal System in St. Petersburg. Had to have my urinary tract looked at with a certain camera that went up.... The things we do for a little extra cash. Or try to do.

Well said.

In most situations I would assume that the receptionist would try to keep any confrontations minimal especially if sensitive private information might be blurted out.

I do not go to doctors that much but have frequently shuttled people that do and the front desk people here in the Villages, Ocala and Leesburg as well are usually quite professional.

Was reading elsewhere and found this line, which seems to apply to the thread

One of the greatest joys of adult life is quietly disapproving of someone else’s choices while simultaneously congratulating oneself on exhibiting restraint.

Of course the fact that I'm commenting would suggest I too am missing that great joy. Hmm, a paradox.