Prenups
 

Given the total number of couples here, I'm sure there are a number... who have been married more than once.

Just curious of the numbers who chose to have a prenup (and the reasons for your choice)...in your second (or ???) marriage(s)?

I also recognize that there are many who have had only one marriage (and more power to them, for getting lucky enough to get it right the first time :thumbup:)...so this thread shouldn't really be of interest to those folks. :ho:

Prenup?

What do I think?

I think at the point we have reached in life, to marry without a prenup is crazy.

And if your lovah says that you are being unromantic and untrusting, you had best do some reconsidering and maybe some serious running.

I have known of some real messes made by later in life marriage without a prenup. It's not just about protecting assets for your kids, although that seems to be everyone's first thought. It's about protecting assets for yourself.

Or might it sometimes just be easier to do things like K. T. Oslin sings about in "Live Close By, Visit Often"?

I remember getting into an argument with a guy at work over this one. It got pretty heated -- although it really was a good natured debate.

I think I won by creating awful scenarios in which I asked my opponent to imagine himself caught -- because he did not believe in prenups. It was fun to debate, especially for me because I was right. :) He never did admit I had won though. But I could see his wheels turning so I knew.

No prenups. The aristocracy used to have transaction marriages and outside love relations. I choose to trust my partner. I trust myself.

And Boomer... she’s no troll, she’s my personal angel.

I agree with every word of this post.

I was just really lucky the first time. REALLY LUCKY.

For my friends seeking romantic adventure at this age, I am mightily in agreement with "Live Close By, Visit Often". Makes good sense.

No one mentions the disparity in assets, don't know what either party brings to their union prior to marriage are considered community property in Fl--if it is--IMHO you have to be out of your mind if you don't have a prenup

I've instructed the Admiral, if I croak before her, nothing without a prenup, no annuity's, no financial advisors !!!!

Why would one be curious about this?

pre nup?
 

after 3 failed marriages, wish I had done a prenup and wasted attorney fees.

My wife and I have a prenup.
If she ever leaves me, she takes the ******* cat with her!!

If you don't marry you don't need a prenup. Even a prenup wont prevent you from being responsible for your spouses medical bills.

More important is a co habitation agreement before you live together. Many times as a real estate agent I have seen issues when the relationship does not work out. My daughter who is an attorney used to do a lot for gay couples but anyone with assets should have one before moving in together.

Prenups
 

Second marriage. Both brought near equal amounts to the table. He has 1 child, I have 3.

Executed prenup and updated wills in Michigan. Really, really need to see a FL attorney to update.

Have heard in FL it is possible to get a "medical divorce" if one spouse gets ill.

Need to look into that too.

everyone has been married at least once

Neither of us have enough assets to care. We each agreed that we'd be willing to sign a pre-nup when we first got engaged. I guess we just figured the fact that we were willing to do so, was good enough for us.

Married 29 years so far, not concerned.

Protect
 

Yes get a trust set up. He wanted me to pay rent that just went to his pocket. He was a scammer.... finally got in writing.... said I wouldn’t pay any more. $ talks at least yo him...

Why not? :confused:

I am from IL and I was told by my IL lawyer FL laws are different so you better check

How do you define "Visit"??




:MOJE_whot:

I’ve been married only once but single for ten years now. I would never remarry without a prenup, as I have children to whom I want to leave my retirement funds so that they will also have some when they retire. It’s important. Otherwise, the money and other things may disappear.

One of my very dear maiden aunts in her seventies married a man in his mid-eighties. Two years later, she died, and her short-term husband got her paid for house and all the money because her will was changed after the marriage. Then, when he died a year later, his kids threw away all her mementos of my grandparents and family and kept all of my aunt’s money that she had intended her nieces and nephews to get.

My Uncle Johnny and Uncle Dale, who had no children, always planned to leave everything to their nieces and nephews. They told us that. Johnny died. When Dale died, we knew we were heirs and were grateful for what was coming. Turned out that Dale, in her mid-nineties, had recently given $600,000 to a televangelist. When her home was sold and everything distributed, we nieces and nephews each got $10,000. Way better than nothing, but not what Uncle Johnny intended at all when he was saving that money decades ago. A prenup in their case wouldn’t have helped, but in many cases these things happen and it would have helped.

Let’s say you meet (for example) some guy in The Villages, and he sweeps you off your feet on the dance floor, and a month later you marry him and he sells his house and pays off the mortgage and second mortgage and moves into your paid-for house. Neither of you have kids. He turns out to have a lot of debts you didn’t know about and to be a deeply unpleasant person. You divorce him. Then you discover that he has a legal right to half of your assets. You empty out you retirement account so you don’t have to sell your house and give him half. Now you are still in your house, but down to living on Social Security, without that $1,000 a month you had before from your retirement funds.

It’s important for these things to be spelled out and in writing and legal.

After reading all this, this widow will remain single.

When redoing my will, attorney recommended prenup. But...some parts of it the state won’t recognize! Very confusing. Didn’t realize a legal document could be ‘ignored’.

I gave my name temporarily 3 times, the fourth time so far is intact. A pre-nup is necessary.

Prenup
 

Married 33 years second time.. have trusts made separately and jointly

Pre-Nup
 

We actually did a post-nup when we did our wills with the lawyers a couple of years after we got married. Mostly to ensure our kids understand the distribution of our assets and they were sent copies of the wills afterwards. It works for our family.

I liked your post! Thanks

Get a new lawyer
 

and remember when they say it’s not about the money, it’s always about the money

Thanks for posting some very Interesting stories. But, unless they were not of sound mind, didn't your relatives have the right to get married, or to change their will, or to give money away to whoever they wanted? It sounds like they may have planned to do something with their money, but changed their mind.

I am still very fortunate to be married to my first and only husband. I like to call him my first husband to keep him on his toes .............. To be very serious I would never enter another marriage without making sure OUR children are fully protected, and I would hope that any decent parent would protect the children from the first marriage.

I have friends who have chosen to remarry. They have a credit card for the home expenses and their own personal credit cards for their expenses.

Was widowed after 32 years of a very happy marriage and remarried at 50, we got a prenuptial agreement, both agreed it was a great idea. He passed after 11 years of another very happy marriage. Get the money issues out of the way and life as a couple is good. Should I be lucky enough to fall in love again I would at this age honestly not marry again, just live together. A prenuptial if you have assets and children is always a good idea, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, and keep your finances separate. See an attorney and listen to his/her advice. Love is a wonderful thing, don't let money ruin it or your life.

If I marry, I would want a prenup. But I would only marry someone I trusted fully- although I am fallible and my trust could be misplaced. Resolution to this dilemma?

I would tell the person "I trust you fully, but if you get a brain tumor and have a personality change, this could be needed". Surely any nice person would sign after such an explanation and I would only marry a "nice person".

In the state of FL medical and personal debt (of the deceased) goes to the grave. When my husband died in 2010 all of his medical and personal credit card debt went to the grave. I returned his brand new car to the dealer. Not a thing they could do to me.

Just curious, if you’re so worried about your assets, why get married in the first place? There is no law that you must get married. Just keep your assets and enjoy other people’s company when they let you. I also can’t understand why some people marry for housekeeping, laundry, cooking. Why not just hire people to do that?
My husband was my friend for 17 years before we married. We think we know each other enough to trust each other and we selected to be each other’s family. I am certain that as he has done when his mother passed, that he will carry out my wishes after I die even better than I would have.

Boomer and Mr. Boomer do not have a prenup.

When Boomer met Mr. Boomer, he was Sgt. Boomer.

Nixon had signed the treaty and Sgt. Boomer was back from Okinawa. That's when he found Boomer. The GI Bill was what led him to where his path crossed Boomer's path.

Boomer thought that Sgt. Boomer just might be rich. (although she did not care about that) The reason she thought he might be rich was because Sgt. Boomer had 4 huge Pioneer speakers, and everything to go with those speakers, to better blast Hendrix, The Doors, and for those really romantic evenings, "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida."

And Sgt. Boomer also had a Seiko watch.

Although Boomer thought that Sgt. Boomer just might be rich (although she did not care about that) she was somewhat confused by the '64 Plymouth Fury.

Boomer at the time had a Triumph GT6 and a car payment.

And then Sgt. Boomer, in his '64 Plymouth Fury, caught Boomer in her Triumph GT6.

And they did not have a prenup. And they still have each other.

But that does not mean that Boomer cannot have strong opinions on the need for prenups in so many circumstances for so many.

Boomer

I'm not sure what you mean by the debt going to the grave. If your husband had an estate and personal assets, his creditors can collect his debt from assets in the estate. It is true that, if he has no assets, the creditors cannot collect debts from another person.

As I understand it in most community property states what one owns prior to a marriage remains separate property unless it is "commingled" with marital property at which point it may become a marital asset and therefore community property.

Florida is an equitable distribution state which apparently yields substantially comparable results in a divorce to those achieved in a community property state. Interesting...

Divorce Attorneys & Commingling of Marital Assets

As will I. Prenups are not guaranteed and can be broken, especially if big bucks are involved.

Ways to Break a Prenuptial Agreement in California -

Regarding living together I have two words. Lee Marvin.

The Marvin V. Marvin "Palimony" Suit: 1979 | Encyclopedia.com

I shall stick with the admonishment to "Live close by, visit often." as it has worked very well for me for 26 years.

Also for men: Get a vasectomy unless you want to risk starting another family!

A whole lot of great advice, ideas, history, etc. in the previous posts.

The way I see it is if I don't trust you enough to marry you without a prenup then I shouldn't be marrying that particular woman at all. Old School I guess. Foolish you think? Not for me! I hope you all pick out a way that works for you and yours. Best of Luck!

Few people need to consider a prenup on a first marriage when they are young and have few if any assets. I certainly did not! There are of course exceptions usually related to significant and certainly vast family wealth on one or both sides of a marital union.

My above remarks are primarily addressed to folks who have substantial assets and children from previous marriages, perhaps nieces and nephews and siblings they wish to leave money. I have seen wealth it has taken a lifetime of hard work, sacrifice, deferred gratification and savings to accumulate go to the issue and relatives of a new spouse rather than to the issue and relatives of the asset acquirer after a marriage of only a few years. I would hope that those who remarry trust their new spouse. The problem arises after the death of a spouse when the surviving new spouse leaves whatever estate her/his new spouse left to her/him to her/his issue and blood relatives leaving the issue and blood relatives of the first to die spouse who worked to accumulate the assets with literally nothing.

When first getting married, while young with little or no assets...it's not really an issue.

It's pretty much been acknowledged by most courts however, that both spouses in long term marriages contributed (in some form)...to any later wealth and assets.

If the couple later builds wealth, even if it is only one of the spouses who was primarily responsible for it, you can bet the other spouse almost always contributed with those things (child rearing, home management, attending important functions, Etc., Etc.)...that made it possible for the other spouse to succeed.

It's when second (or subsequent) marriage(s) enter the picture and assets/wealth already exists...is when it can get complicated & sticky.


"Love conquers all... except when it comes to money."

Then the prevailing motto becomes..."A good attorney...conquers all." :1rotfl:


A good friend (a very expensive attorney), once told me that his favorite (and most profitable) clients during divorces without prenups (particularly if it's not the first one), were the ones who insisted that "It's not about the money...it's the principle."

Followed with his personal observation that..."It IS usually about the money." :D

Do ya think Jeff Bezos wishes he had a prenup

Why would he?

They were married for 25 years (with 4 children), which was LONG before the majority...of THEIR (see my post above) wealth was accumulated.

And everything I've seen, even HE doesn't have a problem with the settlement, so why in the world...should anyone else? :oops: