How friendly are you to strangers?
 

I've been wondering lately why some people choose not to smile or say hello when crossing others on the street or a walking trail. I'm not sure if it's because I was born in a small town, but I love spreading cheer whenever I can. When I was in a big city for decades I didn't expect it, but love the TV village I'm in because so many people like to say hello. In my new northern summer home (125,000 population) I find there's some people who choose not to acknowledge my boyfriend and I when we are on a walk which feels so weird. What's your experience? Is what our parents teach us "don't speak to strangers" continue into adulthood for some of you, or do you prefer saying hello whenever you can?

Is this a general discussion about The Villages or somewhere else?

Don’t wait for them. Say hello first. If they choose to ignore you, don’t give it a second thought.

I say Hi/Hello to everyone, I don't care if they reply.

Only time I get the red arse is when I hold the door for someone and they can't be bothered to say thanks. This will cause me to loudly say "You're welcome" and then go about my day.

Don't let people live rent free in your head, you do you.

I speak to nearly everyone or nod but some ignore you, Kinda annoying to open a door for someone and get no thanks. Maybe their mind is someplace else.

As a male I am never surprised when a woman doesn't appear to be friendly, I assume this is some sort of defense mechanism that women are accustomed to doing.

I wave at every person I see when I riding on the golf cart, even though 98% do not wave back.

While they may have forgotten that they are fortunate to live in such a beautiful place and decide to be cranky old farts (COF) instead, I have not and refuse to let them ruin my good time.

True story. When we were driving through a small mountain town in PA, everyone kept waving at me. I said to my wife, "I must look like someone here in this town because people keep waving at me. It's either that, or these people are very friendly" A few minutes later we stopped to get lunch, and there were a lot of gnats. I started to wave them away from my face and realized, at that moment, people weren't waving at me, they were swatting away the gnats.

Amusing. Who said life is too important to take seriously? Twain?

Reality-years ago I was checking out some babe-far too young for me. Besides my wife thinks Loretta Bobbet is her hero. A rude awakening. I was carrying a lot of stuff, she called me sir and asked if she could help me with the door.
Dads wisdom, never think you understand women. Even if you are right you will be wrong before you even saw the change. An interesting adventure.

In TV nearly everyone I see nods, waves or says ‘hello’ where I live. Up north, in my mega city, people look suspiciously if I say ‘hello’ as if to say, ‘What do YOU want?’ The various areas are different too. The street gang areas are the worst and the gated communities are better. It took me a little while to get used to TV.

In my group the females like to make the first move. A look, a smile etc.

Probably not how you thought this post would go. I believe that one should make a decision based on the situation and location. Taking your morning walk in your neighborhood in The Villages feel free to wave and say good morning if you wish. It is a long time custom to waive at someone (especially in a golf cart) as they pass. We generally do and get the appropriate response. Something special about this place.

ok wave or not to waive
 

Sorry my bad.

Both in TV and in general. I've been in many villages in TV that aren't as overtly friendly as the village I'm in.

Yes I can see how some women don't want to lead men on, but a quick hello with no lingering stare does not send the wrong message I believe.

Wow 98%?!!! That's sad, but glad you still choose to do you!!

:1rotfl: :1rotfl: :1rotfl: :1rotfl:

Maybe some have other things on their mind more important at that moment than waving at a stranger?

Maybe they didn't see you waving? Or maybe their arm got tired at waving at the last 30 passing carts. Or maybe they thought you were waving at someone else? Everyone doesn't constantly stare into incoming golf cart windows seeing how people are reacting to them. We walk every morning and occasionally miss returning a wave here or there because we are looking at he golf course or flowers or birds "in such a beautiful place" so don't take it personally or judge people simply by the lack of a wave. Best place to be if you want your wave returned 100% of the time is Disney. People aren't always going to be paying attention to your golf cart when they are walking or running or looking at nature. If maybe I was one who forgot to wave to you this morning here is a few free waves:


:wave::wave::wave::wave::wave::wave::wave::wave:

My wife and I are both hermits - introverts and not very social creatures. So, we tend to not join in neighborhood events like driveway parties and things.

Since moving here, we have been making it a point to wave, smile and nod at anyone and everyone as we drive around or are getting the mail or whatever. I would say about 99% of those that notice us wave and smile back.

It is sad some here in TV have had other experiences, but our experience is this is the friendliest home town we have ever live in.

Online is a tad different, but in person people always seem friendly to us.

Never met a stranger, we always wave, response or not.

I am a very social person when out, I talk and acknowlege all who pass.
My kids when young were allways embarrassed that I spoke to people in shopping queues etc.
Funny thing is I dislike parties, socialising at home or in others houses.
Really guard my privacy.
A shrink would have a field day with me!

Complicated question!

Primarily we need to examine individual differences, i.e. heredity and environment both determine personality traits. Certainly past experiences play a role, as you have mentioned.

Will the "electronically connected, social media" environment result in a preference to isolate oneself and make face to face interaction less preferred and therefore less important to people?

I believe Dale Carnegie had it right (HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE). His principles should continue to apply, and he certainly would encourage us to show interest in others. Greeting a stranger would obviously fall into this category!

Enjoy your Northern summer!!

One Sunday morning, I was picking up my mail. A woman was having trouble getting a newspaper from the machine, so I asked if I could help. She said she had only brought 3 quarters and a nickel. But, when I said that I would be happy to give her a quarter, she replied, "Oh no, I'll walk home and get my own quarter". I thought that was pretty rude.

When we bought here 9 years ago everyone seemed to wave as being part of big family . With the influx of northerners small town old fashioned friendliness is gone, scowls and gloom seems to be their natural manner.

She was probably worried that your quarter had Covid on it. Probably washes her coins. You should have dropped a quarter on the concrete and walked off.

i usually give a quick nod or Ill be waving all day while in the golf cart, walking pth etc. ive gotten a glare when they missed the nod. Too bad, buddy. Im out for my exercise. I made the attempt and you missed it. Go home and be miserable!!

Stranger danger

This poem came to mind

Smiling is Infectious
By: Spike Milligan

Smiling is Infectious
You catch it like the flu
When someone smiled at me today
I started smiling too

I passed around the corner
And someone saw my grin
When he smiled I realized
I had passed it on to him

I thought about that smile
Then I realized it’s worth
A single smile just like mine
Could travel round the earth

So if you feel a smile begin
Don’t leave it undetected
Let’s start an epidemic quick
And get the world infected

Walking, riding my bike or out in the cart I always look to say hi, wave or even nod.

Some people seem deep in thought and don’t look up, but that’s ok, I don’t take it as rude I just assume they have a lot on their mind.

I walk every morning and many golf carts pass by. Some people do wave, but often, it's right as they are passing. It's too late to wave back. And sometimes, I'm just not looking at the cart, so I have no idea if they waved. Most of the time, if the sun is in my eyes, which if often is as it is just coming up, I cannot see into the cart, and have no idea if they waved. So if I don't wave back, it is not because I'm unfriendly. It's becasue I didn't know you waved, or it was too late to respond.

Not Friendly
 

They have moved here from NY and are bringing their rudeness with them

Before we moved here and after the start of covid, my wife used to think I was nuts when I would talk to people, especially the workers in the supermarket. All the workers appreciated it and most of the shoppers seemed to perk up. Moving here it seems that the people IN the Villages are friendly but as soon as you go outside, people are like they were up north.

You bring up some good points.

Welcome to mid-west meets New York and California. I’ll say hi to you La Lamy and do so to everyone else. If they want to be unfriendly so be it not going to change my attitude.

I'm a New Yorker and I find the people here very friendly in comparison. It actually took me a while to get use to people waving as I drove by or smiling as a walk pass them. You have to remember the Villages have people from all over the country. Please don't take it personably

Your wife is a proud woman.

Maybe it's your smile.

Moved permanently here in 2008. We had been visiting my in laws since 2001. It was the friendliest home town when everyone greeted everyone in passing. Sadly this is no longer the case because a small percentage of people take their sence of entertainment too far. Some are just miserable people. I just smile to myself if they don't respond to a friendly greeting of wave.
Enjoy your life.

I would add being southern helps. I was told not to be a knot on a log.