Mensa Invitational - test yourself
 

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time

2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an a-hole.

3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8 Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido : All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16 Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5 Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16.. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

My Entry -
Villagerks - Villagers who drive stupidly, rudely, intoxicated, drugged and/or insanely, risking life and limb of themselves and, more importantly, others.

What's yours?

Very Good. Enjoyed

Hi JohnN,

Thanks for posting. That was fun to read first thing this morning.

I don’t have one to add, but probably will be thinking about it all day. :)

Boomer

Great post. Like your sense of humor! Wish I was smart enough to add one, but I think they covered it all. :D Also, if I did have one I would probably get banned for a year.:D

Boreplay, n.: The ridiculous amount of time grumpy, grouchy, retired men spend arguing with strangers online instead of romancing the woman in their lives.

Boomer

Carmudgeon, n. Angry old driver always complaining how everyone else drives.

Dictaphone----A male member makes call.

Mensa
 

Earithmetic is counting the number of ears in a boring meeting you were forced to attend!!

Whorrendous, n. The other woman in a divorce.

Madverb. n., (Mad-virb): A formal part of speech. A verb used when one is upset.

Does The Villages have a Mensa club? Just curious, probably wouldn't attend, I stopped renewing my membership a decade or two ago.

Irritainment - irritating others for my own personal entertainment.

Have been trying to work Opinionated into one of these, so far cannot do it. Anyone want to take a try? Because this site is definitely heavy on Opinionated, especially in the male department ...... Boomer, how about you, got anything?

Oponionated----Opening Poster whose comments make your eyes water.

This is fun and you are all so good at it. :)

Boomer

Ominionated, adj. Conceitedly assertive in one's opinions regarding underlings.

Menupause- that feeling you get when you realize the price for a meal is somewhat outrageous. "You want that much for a simple plate of spaghetti?"

That is very good and so much nicer than I was going for! Also have noted that the Opinionated have not yet arrived on this post!!!

Expurt: noun
a person who thinks he/she has a comprehensive and authoritative knowledge of or skill in a particular area, but doesn't: "my husband is quite a financial expurt"

Tituliar, n. Boy that exaggerates about getting to second base.

:BigApplause:

Pilattes : plural noun
any flavor pie and lattes

ashhole: noun
a hole one digs specifically for ashes

Asphalt: a rectum problem

Alleygory, n. A severe bowling accident.

I’ll try again……..


self-abhorsion, n.: a deeply rooted psychological condition that causes some people to try to make themselves feel better by trying to make others feel worse; can present as extreme arrogance.

Boomer

Screwediver: One who runs out of air in his tank at 400' down.

Testismony, n. Payment for a vasectomy.

You are all so good at this ............. very clever.

Sinfandel, n. A varietal wine guaranteed to eliminate moral inhibitions.

battender: noun
someone who tends to bats (the flying animals, not baseball equipment)

Marshmellows: noun
regular marshmallows mixed with a bunch of pot gummies (only available in legal states, of course)

Shadrack, n. Fish boobs.
Meshack, n. My house.
Abedwego, n. Bedtime.

Gastropube, n. A curly hair found in bar food.

Densa....A simpl test fer the edjukashnely chalunjed.

Bragshow, n.: a loud, tedious display by a bloviator who makes others wish they could buy him for what he is worth and then sell him for what he thinks he is worth.

Boomer

Fibergass, n. A lumpy fart.

Clark Grable...Has gender realignment, but legs only worth $50.00

Transomit, n. Part left over after sex reassignment surgery.

Plantomime, n. Marcel Marceau's burial service.

Gastronomical : adjective: gastrəˈnämək(ə)l

An extremely large disruption of the stomach, resulting in shaking and tremors expelled from the mammal's orifice(s).