that's my spot!
 

Not sure if this has happened to you or what is proper. I enjoy trying many of the wonderful exercise classes in TV. I usually go early to get a "good spot" where I can see what is going on. I went to one class very early. 15 minutes later, a person came in and told me that that was her spot. I offered to move but was told someone else always stands there.??? I go to exercise and feel good. I don't go to hear what I think of as grade school behavior.

Don't be discouraged.... There are a few people in TV that have this entitlement mentality. I'm pretty sure there are no reserved spots in exercise classes. I know my wife has gone early several times to get a spot.

You could just say "sorry, it's my spot today". Unfortunately, most nice people don't do that and just move to wherever....

Hang in there! :thumbup:

I agree. Reminds me of the thread of people reserving chairs at events for people who were not there yet!!!!!!!

See, that's the hook about being 'politically correct' in this day and age... the jerks out there who press hard, depend on you being politically correct, apologetic, polite (or intimidated) and giving them what they want. You gotta know when to abandon that and creatively fight fire with fire.

Being a Chicago girl, I would have applauded if you smiled a BIG smile, waved your arms in welcome and said loud enough for others to hear," You want to work out in THIS spot? Well, come on Darling, you can squeeze yourself in here and share this space with me, I don't mind!"
Then, working out with abandon, give her just enough space for an angel to dance on a pin.
Meantime, you eyeball the room and decide on a better spot to be next time... preferably away from the witch. (whom you will continue to smile very big at, and even wave to....It will annoy the hell out of her.) :thumbup:

:1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:

Being a South Jersey gal, I would have said "Glad to hear it's such a good spot. I'm sure gonna enjoy it!" Anything more would be understood by the "adorable" look on my face!
And I'm not normally like this. I prefer to live and let live until pushed to be otherwise.

My comment might be..."REALLY? I didn't see YOUR name on it!!!" I've had folks say, when I go to the pool, something about it being "THEIR" pool!! REALLY??? Then why are we getting charged the amenity fees then????

Weren't taught to say things like that. In Ohio, our moms would have smacked us for talking out like that, and so people who are raised like that are often pushed around here and it makes me mad. BUT, I would feel guilty and wrong speaking up.

I don't like people to win through intimidation like the space savers usually do.

I wish my mom was here to see this kind of thing. She might have changed her mind.

I did not mean to say you are wrong Jen, it just is that we were all raised with different sets of expectation and some of them are regional.

I think basically people are the same no matter where they come from.

But that kind of pushiness makes me want to bite when they think they can save a place. I left an art class at Colony because of that kind of behavior.

Was it the instructor and assistant :1rotfl:?

It is sad things like that happen. Although uncommon, it happened to my wife last year. In a crowded class a "big nasty" man (her description) came in long after she was there and told her that was his spot and stood right there until she moved. It was upsetting for her and really aggravated me, but life goes on....

I am not sure how I would handle as it is not worth a physical fight IMO. Knowing my personality, I suspect I would LOL, then in a very serious face, say .....sorry, I thought you were joking....

Maybe followed by, ".....tell you what, you go tell the instructer or folks at the front desk I am in your spot. If they tell me to move, I will.

As everyone knows a small percentge of <insert word here> exist everywhere. It is a shame we cannot tag them so everyone would see them coming.

Now that is an excellent and non combative comeback. I will remember it...

But probably will be to big of a sissy to actually SAY it.

What frankly gets to me is that the attitude that "That's my space" is becoming more prevalent here in TV, a.k.a. Paradise!

I guess it's one of the penalties we must pay for being "Florida's Friendlest Hometown!" 85,000 or so of us!

Where some 96%-99% get along famously with one and all!

Where another 2%-3% hang on to the prejudices and "me, too" outlooks of their previous life!

Sadly, they're the ones who usually end up making things less friendly for the rest of us!

Chill out!

SWR
:beer3:

Gracie, you're the head of the posse! You can say anything that you want and we will be there to back you up!:D

How about, "Buzz Off".......

I like this suggested response.....only it should be said loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.

".....tell you what, you go tell the instructer or folks at the front desk I am in your spot. If they tell me to move, I will.

[QUOTE=graciegirl;405937]Weren't taught to say things like that. In Ohio, our moms would have smacked us for talking out like that, and so people who are raised like that are often pushed around here and it makes me mad. BUT, I would feel guilty and wrong speaking up.

I don't like people to win through intimidation like the space savers usually do.

I wish my mom was here to see this kind of thing. She might have changed her mind.

I did not mean to say you are wrong Jen, it just is that we were all raised with different sets of expectation and some of them are regional.

I think basically people are the same no matter where they come from.

But that kind of pushiness makes me want to bite when they think they can save a place. I left an art class at Colony because of that kind of behavior.[/QUOTE]

And it was wrong that you had to leave.
Gracie, these people that feel entitled have to be stood up to.................

Works
 

That works with those kind of people because they will not challenge anyone in authority or take an attitude. Does the word "bully" ring a bell? (They're not all school kids, you know.)

There was a guy in SS one night that told some other people that they could not put chairs (which would actually be in line with the other rows, I might add) in front of theirs. The other gentleman told him that when someone in charge or someone from the entertainment staff told him that he could not do it, then he wouldn't but until then...no go. Guess what? The guy with the problem shut up and left soon after to go to dinner. Just more of the "me, me, me" attitude some bring with them no matter where they go.

Being a non-confrontational type of person, I think I would move but would complain to management of the people who do this sort of thing. Management should deal with this type of behaviour. If one is so concerned about "my spot", they should make it their business to get there early enough to occuply "my spot".

If one really feels compelled to say something directly, a great idea is the response, "tell you what, you go tell the instructor or folks at the front desk I am in your spot. If they tell me to move, I will".

Sadly, some people don't realize what comes out of their mouths and how it affects other people. I know I would never be friendly with someone who does something of this nature.

They would never make my Christmas card list. :)

Sorry you encountered an extremely rude and pushy person. They do exist in TV, but in fewer numbers than in other areas for the most part. Guess people sort of feel that this is more like a resort than a home town for a while and as swrinfla said, " some hang on to the prejudices and "me, too" outlooks of their previous life!"

After a while, they might soften to the gentle smiles and more friendly attitudes of the majority. Let's hope so! Some people are more self centered than others and their world is rather limited....it's them and no one else. Sometimes it's because they haven't yet adjusted to retirement, other times it could be because of age related changes that impact thinking, sometimes it's just because they're nasty individuals. It's probably just better to smile, explain that spots are not assigned and it's a first come, first to get a spot situation. (Not sure they'd appreciate it if someone talked to their wife or mother in the manner you were spoken to...and plenty of residents have older relatives in TV. ) They might not like moving, but that's just something they're going to have to adjust to.

(Guess you can't drive your big rig over their motorcycles like they do in the movies.... ;) )

I'm a non-confrontational type person for the most part also, so I'm not sure what I would have really said in this situation. What I would have liked to say is something like "Your spot, you say?? Ok...you can have it when my class is over." (and then I would run like h*LL....LOL)

There are rude people everywhere
 

You don't have to go very far to find rude people but you've go to pick your battles.

Whoa Nellie. I won't be much liked if I ever do move to Paradise. While I don't consider myself confrontational, on the other hand, I do stand my ground. My first response would be to roll my eyes while standing my ground. If she persisited, my second response would be verbal, that she should "get a life", while also standing my ground. If she persisted still, no telling what I would say or do, but be assured that I would still be standing my ground.

I think we should try to promote the spirit of expecting others to honor basic fairness, which is especially important in a community as large as this; and so I think a thing to do might be to give the person demanding the place the benefit of the doubt, and just politely say something like, "I realize that you must not know this, but there are no reserved places in the classes here" and just smile and stay put. I would say it just loudly enough that the attention of others around would be drawn - in case of attack! (-; .

This time of year, in particular, the classes start filling up so quickly that if you relinquish a place, you might not find another. (Which reminds me of the time my husband was seated on a flight, which was full, and another man appeared at the seat with a boarding pass bearing the same seat number. The attendant was called, and she apologized for the airline's error and told my husband and the other man that her solution was for them to draw straws for the seat. My husband just shrugged his shoulders and said "But . . I already have a seat." People in the surrounding seats were all ears and were asking for popcorn. A short 'staredown' followed, and then the stewardess asked the other man to come with her, and he left the plane. But, I digress).

I agree that starting an unpleasant 'scene' over a little thing like this isn't classy (and Gracie, your mom sounds like mine in always expecting what she called 'mannerliness' - regardless of who was right or wrong - only mine would have probably gotten a switch), but that should not be necessary.

The problem with just acquiescing in a demand like this is that it just encourages this kind of inappropriate assertiveness on their part toward others in the future.

How about this...you relinquish “the spot” and then stand at the back of the exercise area. Just before class begins you raise your hand and ask the instructor (in a loud and clear voice) where your “reserved spot is”. When the instructor tells you that there are no reserved spots...then do or say whatever makes you comfortable. Even if you don’t say or do anything, I think the point will be made and I doubt anyone in that class will be claiming a “spot” again.

The "you're in my spot" person is a bully imho. Bullying is so pervasive in our society today. No one needs to enable the bullies by folding to them. Stand your ground always !

that's my spot
 

my exercise class fills up 45 mins before the start time, and there is often a "milling around" situation when someone's "spot' has been taken when folks arrive 20 mins later. So far, no verbal protests have been voiced, but I am mentally prepared. I am going to smile (disarmingly) and reply "Its amazing how quickly the class fills up now that the seasonal folks have returned, I got here at 7.0am to make sure I could get in"... then stand my ground. .... with a smile...:clap2:

Here's something to consider trying:

If you find yourself in a situation like springfield describes, simply respond to the person's initial statement to you by posing a question back to them - quietly, politely, and with a smile. When they reply, ask another appropriate question. Another reply, another relevant question, and so on:

"Is reserving a spot really allowed?"
"Is management o.k. with permitting reserving a spot?"
"Is there something particularly different about this spot versus another one?"

If you handle the situation in a non-confrontational manner - and your questions don't become personal, snide, or snippy - the person thinking they have dibs on the spot will either tire of it all or, as others around you start to see and hear what's going on, they'll quickly make themself look foolish if they continue to pursue it.

You've controlled the situation, stood your ground in a non-confrontational way.......and hopefully made a completely rational point to the spot-squatter in the process.

Just a thought............

Bill :)

Sooooo Asking what the :censored: are you talking about??? Probably wouldn't be a good idea???? :D

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh......I think you must've skipped over the part about not making the questions personal, snide, or snippy! I believe :censored: probably blows all 3 of those categories out of the water - and undoubtedly many others as well! :clap2:

I'm still laughing..............:1rotfl:

Bill :wave:

Oh..... nevermind....

I hope you're talking about asking the numb scull who thinks he/she's a deed holder to the spot and not Bill! :1rotfl:

:1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:

You read me wrong!!! I haven't had the instance to actually say that...but THAT would have been my 1st thought inclination!!! I was raised in the upper midwest and was taught to be polite etc. What is being shared here though is that folks come into a class and try to be pushy....telling another "they" took the spot of the 2nd party and that is wrong in my thinking. Would you just say "sorry..and move aside? Maybe, but if you were there first I'd think the spot you were in would be yours!" Just mho!!!

To be honest. When something like that happens to any of us, we go into a shock and don't do or say anything. Since we don't expect anyone to say anything like that to us, we generally don't have a response.

This thread has been good in that so many of the responses have been good. If this happens to anyone who has read this, in the future, we will have a better handle on how to deal with it.

But as to how we would have handled it. most likely, would would have let the person have "their spot" because it was the unexpected.

I consider myself fairly polite. I try to give folks the benefit of the doubt. But, I gotta say if I went early to a class (which I do) and someone came 15 minutes later and said that's my spot, I would not move. I'd probably explain there are no designated spots, it's first come first served at the activities. Hopefully, they would move on and find another spot or come earlier next time. On a positive note, I've never had this happen so this person (I hope) is not the typical participant.

And I knew that Jen. When I typed it I KNEW that you are always kind. That is the reading of words again instead of looking at faces. I am sorry for saying it the way I did and choosing your post to copy. You are always thoughtful and nice.

At Odell you do need to come early for Walking Off the Pounds but they make you wait in line until the time of the class and then allow you to enter the room. But STILL there are those who say...this is my spot.

Just ask them "wow, I tried to reserve a spot and they told me first come first served. How did you reserve this spot"?

In my prior life I would have said OK and moved, today I would not. To many people think they have a right to treat others any way they want to get what they want. Just listen to the dumb requests of the occupy wall street idiots.

What people who think "this is their spot" should learn is that others will stand up to them and not accept that behavior. They will never change unless we do.

thanks
 

Thanks for your advice. I would love to be able to use some of them. I'm not very confrontational and probably wouldn't. This same person wanted to know if I lived in the neighborhood and wanted to know if I was a snowbird. She said that they like keeping the class small. I got the feeling that they all knew each other like it was a little neighborhood clique. I did keep my place but I said to her afterwards that I think she must have been bothered by me being in her place and asked if she would like for me to go to the next row next time. She smiled and looked relieved. This incident bothered me and she should not have said that. Yet, I guess it was more important to her. Hopefully, some of the "that's my spot" people will read your responses and think twice before being rude. I am off to a 7:30 class. I'm leaving early so I can get my spot! Thanks again.

Hush now..don't give away the Chicago girl secrets.....:MOJE_whot:

It is a shame this person treated you in such a way. Her comments would have made me feel not welcome. I hope this is not a common thing in TV.

The Boomers are coming, the Boomers are coming! The pelicans from "Finding Nemo" - mine, mine, mine, mine