Making Friends
 

I was wondering if there are people (like me) having problems making friends here in the villages? I am very active in softball and have a lot of friendly acquiaintances at the field but don't seem to be included in other activities.I golf ,love pickleball ,enjoy bowling,cycling and I hear lots of conversations amongst guys about meeting later for golf ,pickleball etc. but these invites are never directed at me.I have tried to be included by stating my interest in these activities to no avail. All I can think of is I'm relatively young(54) & recently went back to work nights...I don't know..if someone has suggestions ..I'm open...Thanks!

They are making plans with people they have already made a connection with. Now... it's up to you! You need to make call and ask them to join you for dinner, golf, etc.

It's hard! But someone has to do it! We tend to hang with people we already know because it's comfortable. So... we need to make new friends we are comfortable with.

I know you from here and another networking site and know you are a great guy! When you step out! You will have so much going on in your life, you won't be able to keep up!

Are there any men's golf league's in Amelia (I know here in Buttonwood there are several (as well as ladies leagues) that play on different days. Or you could talk to your neighbors and start your own group like they did in our neighborhood. There are lots of people playing pickle ball at 7:30 am every day at Fishhawk (just drop by and they will work you in)
Yesterday, we happened to play golf with someone staying on the Lifestyle program, we were having a cook-out for our neighbors so we invited them to come back and see what life is actually like in TV. They were able meet 35 of our neighbors and experience a party in the middle of a cul-de-sac. (You can come hang out in our neighborhood...always something going on) The night before we went out to dinner with 22 of our neighbors.
Oh, and by the way I am your age and work part-time, it doesn't matter.

I know I'm not the easiest person to know and have learned to live with that a long time ago. When I first moved here, I felt like you -- kinda left out even in activities that I was participating in. It took some time, but I was finally accepted. I also learned to come out of my shell and invite people to join me. That helped a lot. Now, I have people I call true friends here, people I do stuff with and acquaintances. It makes for a social life that suits me perfectly. So, swallow hard and start doing your own inviting -- it really does make a difference.

As a fellow Mass native, Bosox fan & golfer I'll be happy to play with you and get to know you when I move there, hopefully 1/1/13. Our house is on the market now and we already own there. I'm about the same age as you too. Wish me luck!

OK, Bosoxfan and ducati1974, I'll be the third in the foursome when we get there as well. Whenever the house in VA sells. Until then we can all watch the Sox and commiserate! Hang in there, buddy! :MOJE_whot:

B.

Bosox, I think maybe it's because you're from Wosta and they can't understand you when you speak! Only kidding. We already knew several people when we moved here so that made it easier. We both play alot of sports and those people have become wonderful "friends" on the playing fields, courses, courts, etc...we we do tend to socialize with the people we already knew. How about joining The Red Sox Nation club ?

Need a fourth? Moved here from RI

Good luck ducati...pm me when you get here we'll play some golf or pickleball

Is that your dog in the picture? If so, do you take him to a dog park? That can be a great way to meet new friends. We take our two dogs daily to Doggie Doo Run Run on CR 101. It is a very social place, and everyone has love of dogs in common.

I'm there
 

I'll hang out with ya! I want to get back into cycling. I need to work back into it slow. The body isn't Tour de France material anymore. Maybe that Harley is part of the reason. Doc say's time to pedal.

Thanks guys

Bosoxfan. I think you are a great person from every single thing you have written.

Our Welcome mat is always out.


Have a little get together at your place and just buy some snacks and drinks at Publix and invite a few folks over.

From reading your posts, I never thought that you'd have trouble making friends.

I will look you up whenever we get to TV, as long as you don't mind a couple of NYY's. :smiley:

I'm finding this to be a very interesting thread.First off thank you to all for your feedback.What's interesting is there have been over 1100 views with 13 posts and 4 of them are mine.I've actually received more pm's than there are posts...interesting!!

The Bosox and Twins have something in common
 

Bosoxfan,

I'm sure you know about the connection between the Red Sox and Minneapolis Millers in the late 50's and the current co-location of the Red Sox and Twins in Fort Myers. If you ever want to go to a game together, let me know. I'll be in The Villages as early as February 2013.

Jim

I would be interested to know what you find "interesting".

I am touched to hear about a man reaching out..that is sooo sweet. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

I enjoyed reading these posts too as we will be staying for a couple of months in Amelia. We don't come down with a group so can be hard to get to know people. Crispers was very nice to attend.

I think you're receiving more Personal Messages than posts on your thread, because people want to personally and warmly reach out to you!

What is real here is that you don't MAKE friends you DEVELOP friendships. We have ben here full time for 7 months and never thought we'd be able to get over missing the lifelong friends we left behind. In a short time we both have developed friendships that are as meaningful as those we left behind. Good friends, those who would give you a kidney if needed.

TOTV has descended from a once proud information sharing forum to a "wannabe amatuer comedy hour" with OP's asking a reasonable question and the responses being vain attempts at humor from everything from golf cart accidents to death in the villages..... sad state of affairs

Good luck in finding a true friend here......

Hedoman - so are you saying there should be no humor on TOTV?

And I'm not real sure about why you feel it's going to take luck to be able to develop true friendships with anyone on TOTV. Plenty of good quality people here as far as I'm concerned!! :coolsmiley:

Bill :)

I have found several good true friends on this forum who have become integral parts of our lives. You can just tell by how people post on here if you would like them or you hope they aren't building on YOUR street. Hedoman...I wish you and the missus lived on our street.

You are right about the inappropriate humor. I hope I haven't attempted levity in serious situations.

I think if we would only post what we in normal situations would say "in person" than all of the gooniness on here would disapate. Personally I think that in the last couple of days there have been people who have assumed another identity on here and are deliberately baiting people.

There sure have been some posts that have taken in a bunch of people...in my very humble opinion.

I love TOTV. It is like an interactive newspaper...or it usually is anyway.

SPOTD Award!
 

Good post, Gracie!

It's early in the day.........but you do get the Swimdawg Post of the Day Award. :eclipsee_gold_cup:

Interesting thread! Guess I will find out for myself 12 days from now; I don't know anyone down there. I figure I'll meet people at the pools, squares & taverns (and when I get lost in my golf cart).

I confess that I am a lurker here and am one of the 1100 views. Hubby and I are very interested in life at the Villages since we are looking for a fun place to retire to in 4 - 5years. Your post hit home with me because I am worried about pulling up roots and moving to a place where I know no one. So, I have nothing to add but thanks for the post and to all who have answered.

My husband and I arrived here 2 1/2 weeks ago. We have met several nice folks at the square, water volleyball and other places. You just have to be willing to put yourself out there. We are currently renting a patio villa not where we will be building so that makes it a little difficult to meet neighbors, etc., but we are not complaining. We are loving it here. Let us know when you get here, we newbees can create our own group😉

Change is good!
 

Welcome to TOTV- Hi!

Were just looking Forwards not backwards! Thanks for lurking around! I think ,many of us started TOTV that way.

But I could and have been know to be wrong. Halo fell off years ago.

Thanks Gracie. As you can tell I am becoming very dissillusioned by TOTV. Ask a question and it gets answered then ravished by inapproprite attempts at being funny OR folks guess at the answer and give wrong information. As much as I admire some folks on TOTV such as yourself I would never go to Crispers due to some of the attacks I have seen on TOTV. Meeting in person may just inspire me to tell some just what I think of their "opinions"
I'll make my own popcorn and koolaid thanks



B&B:I am not saying it takes luck to make friends Heck we talk to everone everywhere we go as this IS the friendliest hometown. True friendships develop over time, same as meeting and marrying my wife. True friendships are out there just don't force the issue

:agree: with Finallyfree (love that name). Newcomers probably have to put themselves out there maybe more than they are used to if they don't know a lot of people in TV. I'm a wannabee, but during my visits, I try to make it a point to engage people in conversation when I'm in TV, especially to get feedback about what TV residents like and dislike about TV. Not always the easiest thing to do, especially since I'm not an extremely extroverted person, but I've had some great conversations during my visits to TV. And I will be back in June to talk to more Frogs.

I want to thank you all for the responses here & in my mail box.For those of you who say I should "put myself out there" my response is I have .I've hande out cards asking people to call if they would like to play pickleball or golf.I don't know what else to do .Guess it is what it is..thanks!!

takes time
 

Sooo how ya doing Bosoxfan? I have moved several times and it does take awhile.

I read your post about giving the cards. I think you need to be a little more out there. I mean you should make definite plans. Like do you want to do something later today...how about the square. I guess what I am saying is that if you hand out the cards it just does not seems as approachable...like you are waiting on them ....when you need to be the one to be more specific. Just my thoughts.

Mind you, I have been worried too about a possible move and making lasting type close friends. My girl friend says " There are those who are friendly and those who want to be friends". The point is you need to be the 2nd type and find those also.

Hmmmm, just wondering. Are you a really good athlete? Perhaps your level of play intimidates people? Just a thought. I'm just a short time visitor. Otherwise, I'd invite you to golf (if you had patience since I'm not very skilled). During my current visit, I've met quite a few nice couples and singles who signed up with my sister and I for our golf times. Met a real nice fellow today (Chuck) who is a newbie living in Sanibel. IF he should read this, perhaps he will send you a PM to hook up for golf.

Love your German Shepard. My mom had one when she was young. She loved that dog. Just hang in there. Keep trying and I'm sure you'll find some friends!

I am also a TV wannabe and have lurked on TOTV. I am coming in just a few days for a Lifestyle Preview Plan, and was reading with interest one of the posts regarding dog owners. It concerned me because I have 2 myself and heard so many negative things on the post. I wondered just how friendly people really are in TV. However, I soon decided I was the only person to make the decision to come there, and it would be unjust to base any decision upon a few posts. Those who had a different opinion are certainly entitled to that, and may very well be wonderful people. Who am I to judge without experiencing it for myself? Just walking up to someone to ask a question and introduce yourself is an avenue for interaction. I wish you much luck there, and now believe after so many nice posts in return, that people are indeed friendly and relaxed. I'm sure if you ask someone to come over for drinks or play a game of golf, they would respond affirmatively! Life is short. Enjoy and get out there! We make our own happiness and a positive attitude makes for a pretty wonderful life!

Bosox,,, I don't play golf, nor tennis, nor pickleball.... but I do socialize and DANCE!!!! :pepper2:

So whether you are single or NOT, you're welcome to join me and my crowd any evening at any of the local joints. I'm a great ice-breaker and can introduce you to a load of guys who are really nice and social.

Come join us for a beer on Saturday night at 6pm at Waterfront hotel. I'll be there with a bunch of friends and I'll be happy to introduce you. Even to people I DON'T know!!! LOL...

I am new as well and agree that Kathie is the person to introduce you to people. She has introduced me to a few (at Waterfront). I plan to be there again Saturday night for some more introductions. I too LOVE TO DANCE!! I also agree that you have to put yourself out there. By that I mean go to places, engage in conversations, participate in activities, be outgoing and not bashful. I'm not saying you're not doing these things; you probably are. I've only been here a week and feel like I will continue to have to put myself out there now and in the future to meet friends now and to meet future new friends. It's an ongoing process and one that takes time. As Hedoman said, "friendships develop over time".

As for inappropriate responses on TOTV, I take them with a grain of salt. I ignore the bad stuff and soak up the good stuff. Here again, I agree with Gracie, TOTV is a wealth of information. Even though I just arrived here, I've been reading TOTV for 2 years and know of no where else where I could have learned what I have learned about TV.

Bosoxfan - I wish you and any new Villagers, as well as myself, good luck in enjoying life here and meeting new friends. PS - if you're a dancer, I could use a dance partner!

Hi Bosoxfan,

I too am a fan of your posts (and your dog :)). SSmith makes a good point. Handing out cards is a great start, but does put the onus on the other person to take the initiative to set up plans. Perhaps you could do the inviting.

It's wonderful that you have received a lot of PM's. You have made a personal request and TOTVers are once again coming through, responding back to you in a personal way. Perhaps your OP was just what you needed to get the ball rolling. I hope so!

BTW, the Turners would love to meet you when we're in town.

This whole thread has been a refreshing, positive, informative and pleasant read, don't you think?
:laugh:

Remember when you first moved in? The G's signaled that we were coming by to see you and you had house guests.

Then the whirlwind stuff that happens here, just happens here, you get diverted, sidetracked, involved with stuff and it is another day put to bed.

We sure would like you to come up our way and have something cold to drink.

Hope to see you at Crispers.

Hugs and warm wishes to a very nice person. One of my favorite posters on this forum.

PT invited the lovely Diane and I to join a group of people for supper at RedSauce around New Years. We had not met the wonderful PT and Mr. PT at that time, we only knew each other through TOTV. Everyone had a great time with people they had never met, and the lovely Diane and I have made great friends with a couple we met there that night.

Making a reservation for 10 for people who (mostly) didn't know each other was a risk for PT, but she was a fabulous host and the evening was a lot of fun. Thanks for inviting us PT.

PT-When are you coming back down to TV?? I'm sure we'd all like to see you more often down here.