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-   The Villages, Florida, General Discussion (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/)
-   -   I should be used to rude people by now, but!!! (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/i-should-used-rude-people-now-but-322540/)

Madelaine Amee 08-06-2021 10:12 AM

I should be used to rude people by now, but!!!
 
I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:

DonH57 08-06-2021 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee (Post 1984735)
I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:

Believe me I've been here nearly 9 years and so rude behavior is nothing new to me. The worse I've seen is in the grocery stores and parking lots. Never understood the hostility and meanness of some of these people.:ohdear:

Velvet 08-06-2021 10:54 AM

Not sure why but whenever someone is intentionally rude I automatically assume they probably have some kind of mental illness. Road rage etc. I just avoid them or treat them as asylum escapees. Never take it personally.

ThirdOfFive 08-06-2021 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee (Post 1984735)
I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:

As people get older, they become more like themselves.

That is not as confusing as it sounds. During our younger years we develop techniques and safeguards against letting those parts of our personalities show through that would be construed by many as hostile, negative, patronizing, or whatever; personality traits that could hinder what we might have seen as hindering advancement in work, destructive of relationships, whatever. Some of us become quite good at it, others, not so much. But as we age, we gradually become less able to hide those traits or to control when or under what circumstances the come to the surface. The older we get, the more the real person shows through.

This is not a rationale for extreme rudeness or negative social acting-out. People might be less able to control their reactions but they can still recognize situations where they are most apt to occur and avoid them. But it does explain why we're more apt to see it here in "the bubble" than in former communities populated with younger people.

Villageswimmer 08-06-2021 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Velvet (Post 1984765)
Not sure why but whenever someone is intentionally rude I automatically assume they probably have some kind of mental illness. Road rage etc. I just avoid them or treat them as asylum escapees. Never take it personally.

I think there is a lot of truth in this statement. Grace goes a long way. Namaste.

Villageswimmer 08-06-2021 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThirdOfFive (Post 1984777)
As people get older, they become more like themselves.

That is not as confusing as it sounds. During our younger years we develop techniques and safeguards against letting those parts of our personalities show through that would be construed by many as hostile, negative, patronizing, or whatever; personality traits that could hinder what we might have seen as hindering advancement in work, destructive of relationships, whatever. Some of us become quite good at it, others, not so much. But as we age, we gradually become less able to hide those traits or to control when or under what circumstances the come to the surface. The older we get, the more the real person shows through.

This is not a rationale for extreme rudeness or negative social acting-out. People might be less able to control their reactions but they can still recognize situations where they are most apt to occur and avoid them. But it does explain why we're more apt to see it here in "the bubble" than in former communities populated with younger people.

Very interesting theory. I think you’re on to something.

GrumpyOldMan 08-06-2021 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Velvet (Post 1984765)
Not sure why but whenever someone is intentionally rude I automatically assume they probably have some kind of mental illness. Road rage etc. I just avoid them or treat them as asylum escapees. Never take it personally.

Well, I "believe" that humans are herd animals - we live in groups/societies. And so, I believe that any form of antisocial behavior is a form of mental illness. I don't believe in EVIL, I believe in mental illness. Murder is mental illness to me. Theft, fighting, etc, etc.

So, I of agree with you, but I probably take it further than you do.

ThirdOfFive 08-06-2021 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Villageswimmer (Post 1984779)
Very interesting theory. I think you’re on to something.

Gerontology 101. In my former life I provided interventional and case-management services for vulnerable adults, most of them post-retirement age.

vintageogauge 08-06-2021 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrumpyOldMan (Post 1984783)
Well, I "believe" that humans are herd animals - we live in groups/societies. And so, I believe that any form of antisocial behavior is a form of mental illness. I don't believe in EVIL, I believe in mental illness. Murder is mental illness to me. Theft, fighting, etc, etc.

So, I of agree with you, but I probably take it further than you do.

So, all violent offenders harming or killing sane members of society are mentally ill and should be in mental institutes getting help rather than in prison?

GrumpyOldMan 08-06-2021 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThirdOfFive (Post 1984777)
As people get older, they become more like themselves.

That is not as confusing as it sounds. During our younger years we develop techniques and safeguards against letting those parts of our personalities show through that would be construed by many as hostile, negative, patronizing, or whatever; personality traits that could hinder what we might have seen as hindering advancement in work, destructive of relationships, whatever. Some of us become quite good at it, others, not so much. But as we age, we gradually become less able to hide those traits or to control when or under what circumstances the come to the surface. The older we get, the more the real person shows through.

This is not a rationale for extreme rudeness or negative social acting-out. People might be less able to control their reactions but they can still recognize situations where they are most apt to occur and avoid them. But it does explain why we're more apt to see it here in "the bubble" than in former communities populated with younger people.

I agree

Michael G. 08-06-2021 11:58 AM

Sooo What city in the New England states can you guess where this rude person is from......LOL

Ben Franklin 08-06-2021 12:01 PM

Sometimes rudeness is a perceived or personal condition. I have had two people, in this forum, apologize for being rude to me, but I never perceived what they said to me as being rude. Or, maybe rudeness is a condition of where one was raised. I was raised in a big, northeast city, not NYC though. When we first came to Florida in 1979, most of the people on the west side of the state were from the middle of the country. My wife and I were so taken aback, by how nice people were, we thought we had left the states for another country.

DAVES 08-06-2021 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrumpyOldMan (Post 1984783)
Well, I "believe" that humans are herd animals - we live in groups/societies. And so, I believe that any form of antisocial behavior is a form of mental illness. I don't believe in EVIL, I believe in mental illness. Murder is mental illness to me. Theft, fighting, etc, etc.

So, I of agree with you, but I probably take it further than you do.

I had a minor in psychology. I still remember the introduction to a course in abnormal psychology. The prof stated as you read this you will think you have all these disorders and you do. It is a problem only when you can't control it and you either harm yourself or harm others.

I recall another study involving brain scans. A certain pattern indicated a mental disorder. The one doing the study, in a blind test selected out of whatever the number of scans it was those showing this problem. One of the ones he selected as clearly having this problem. WAS HIS.

Hape2Bhr 08-06-2021 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael G. (Post 1984801)
Sooo What city in the New England states can you guess where this rude person is from......LOL

New York...LOL :blahblahblah:

DAVES 08-06-2021 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee (Post 1984735)
I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:

All of these posts are in the eye of the poster. I of course was not there.

Rude? As stated, did not see entire event. What, who, said what first? The truck, did it need to be blocking her drive.

The screamer? On her way to ??????? card game??????? Or to the hospital?????????

Reality is in the details as is usually the case.


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