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-   -   Why I finally retired! (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-non-villages-discussion-93/why-i-finally-retired-33640/)

Pturner 11-18-2010 02:10 AM

Why I finally retired!
 
1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, I tried to be a chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

6. I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a shoe factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

10. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

11. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

:a040:

redwitch 11-18-2010 06:53 AM

groannnn ... talk about punnishment

Annabelle 11-18-2010 07:23 AM

Pt,
Always nice to start the day with a smile and a laugh..... thanks for my first chuckle today!

Annabelle

graciegirl 11-18-2010 08:03 AM

I sure do love you, P.

SALYBOW 11-18-2010 08:56 AM

Retired?
 
Does that mean you can come down full time??????

2BNTV 11-18-2010 09:48 AM

Pturner:

Anyone who retires is my hero. :)

Are you packing now?

2B

BogeyBoy 11-18-2010 11:46 AM

Thanks for the chuckles.

barb1191 11-18-2010 11:58 AM

Pt....Great play on words; loved it and thanks for sharing......b

Pturner 11-18-2010 07:55 PM

Salybow and 2B,

I posted that at 2 o'clock in the morning!! Alas, I was only dreaming of retiring. One and a half years and counting!

Tweety Bird 11-18-2010 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pturner (Post 309391)
1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, I tried to be a chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

6. I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a shoe factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

10. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

11. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

:a040:

Good! Welcome to The Villages! hahaha:clap2:

JimJoe 11-18-2010 08:03 PM

i was a lawyer but..
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pturner (Post 309391)
1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, I tried to be a chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

6. I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a shoe factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

10. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

11. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

:a040:

I was a lawyer but gave it up because my briefs were full of junk.
Now I can't fly anymore.

Bill-n-Brillo 11-18-2010 08:43 PM

"I tried working in the Skippy factory - drove me nuts."

"Worked at the Goodyear store for a while but I grew tired of it."

"I used to work in a filling station............................but it gave me gas." :ohdear:

:)

Bill

K9-Lovers 11-18-2010 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimJoe (Post 309633)
I was a lawyer but gave it up because my briefs were full of junk.
Now I can't fly anymore.

Very sassy, JimJoe!

I tried working as an office supervisor, but couldn't manage it.

ladylake1 11-18-2010 11:38 PM

I worked for Marion County government for nine years. OMG. Couldn't wait to get out of there. Previously had been Director of Ops for county in PA. Took MAJOR salary/benefits cut to marry and work here in FL. Couldn't wait to get out of there !!! Financial sacrifice but peace of mind and no longer felt like had to scrub off when I got home from work. So glad I could manage to retire and wish the same for you. Hope you are in the lovely villages full time. I could not be happier. Fixed income but worth it all!!!

2BNTV 11-19-2010 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pturner (Post 309629)
Salybow and 2B,

I posted that at 2 o'clock in the morning!! Alas, I was only dreaming of retiring. One and a half years and counting!



I was also dreaming of retiring one year ago but I am still working. :(

Long story and very boring. :yuck:


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