Friends Support (Or Don’t) Move To The Villages
 

I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

Moved from Colorado 17 years ago and all is good down here in TV. I don't think real friends would be doing this to you. Perhaps they are just jealous as you will not be freezing your behind of this year. Looking back, I see that Colorado is not what it used to be as it has become unaffordable for most. We won't even go into the politics. Welcome to FREE FLORIDA.

I do believe jealousy is at the root, as you stated - I was fortunate to have retired young (friends are all still working) - and I know many of them would like to make the move away from Colorado (getting crowded on the front range, and as you said the political changes, that we will not get into) - maybe their resistance shouldn’t surprise me, but it does. They see the excitement and enthusiasm I have for TV, maybe I am too much of a “cheerleader”, and the fact they still are unable to retire, as much as they would like to, and move someplace warm to move to depresses them.

Would real friends try to make you feel guilty? Real friends should be happy for you. Find better friends.

What does FREE FL mean?

My first thought was “Free Florida” is FREE from SNOW but then that’s just me.

Good friends are like John Mac Arthur churches - hard to find. You should stay where they are.

Any move from your home state is hard regardless of what your friends/neighbors think or feel.

Just follow your gut feeling and make the move, besides, there's new friends to be made in TV.

The only thing that I miss moving here from Wisconsin is the cool fall weather, dairy farms, corn fields, and pine forest.

Why should you care what your friends think (maybe they're just jealous)? If you can't do what you like and rely on friends making you feel guilty there are more issues involved. Maybe getting some "professional help" would be best to overcome your feelings. Maybe feeling guilty leaving grandkids or other family makes a little sense but "friends" not supporting your life change shows what kind of "friends" they are. They should be cheering for you not sending you on a guilt trip. Shame on THEM.

I’d save the shame bit, people are entitled to their emotions when a good friend moves away. Losing a good friend to a distant move is like dealing with a death. You may cross paths again when visiting and FaceTime but the whole dynamic of the friendship has changed, there’s no more hanging out with together, socializing at functions…. it’s over.

I’d let your friends grieve and not blame it on jealously. You’re moving to Florida, not some exotic location.

That’s a lot to miss.:cryin2:

We faced some of the same, not only from a couple of longtime best friends, but also from one of our kids. It was really surprising from the kids because they hadn’t lived near us for nearly 10 years but they assumed we would move to where they were when we retired. They didn’t take it well when we told them we had other plans.
Have honest conversations with them. Maybe tell them directly that you are surprised by their reactions and ask why they aren’t being supportive. Sometimes people don’t even understand why they are reacting a certain way until forced to confront it and think about their feelings. If their reasons are rooted in the fact that they will be missing you and can’t imagine not being able to see you, accept that as love and have discussions about how the friendship will continue. If it’s about jealousy then that’s their problem. You can’t control how other people feel.
If they are REAL friends they will come around in time, especially once they see that you are happy.

We have three types of friends, the ones that are jealous, the ones that also got a place in Florida, and the ones that got a place in Arizona. If someone doesn’t support our decision to have a home in the Villages, then they aren’t real friends. The biggest problem is the jealous friends always want to come to the Villages to visit and golf and sometimes the requests can be a little overwhelming.

It's always easier for the person going than the person staying

You are off on a new adventure, and likely to make lots of new friends, while they are stuck doing "same old, same old" and have lost a "local" friend

They are feeling down. Best to forgive (and forget) their negativity and keep them as friends.

They will miss you and they are hurting about that I imagine.

Just remember you can make new friends but you can't make new old friends. Sad but true...