Afraid of change and leaving family
 

My wife and I have visitied TV twice and love the area, weather and concept. TOTV is a great resource. My wife is hesitant and is wondering if there are others that had second thoughts before they moved to TV, leaving their children and friends behind. We only have one son, single, mid-thirties who is well established. Many of our friends have parts of their families spread out throughout the country and they seem to have no issues. Anyone out there that can help my wife with her concerns?

Our family is scattered about and we probably see them more now then before. Everyone loves to visit Florida for vacations and if they can stay with you they can even save a few bucks. Sometimes we pay for a ticket or two for someone that comes and visits and sometimes we offer a ticket as a Christmas or birthday gift.
I know it's not that same as having them here but Skype works well for a "virtual" visit and it's free.

Of course there are lots of others who had to leave their comfort zone to move to The Villages. Some love it here and yes, some do not.

I was sitting at Cody's bar a few days ago and talking to the couple next to me. They had moved here about 6 months ago. The man loved every aspect and especially golf and is gone most of the day. His wife was miserable because she had to leave friends in Ohio. She does not go to clubs or activities here but just stays home and hates every minute. She said she just filed for divorce because her husband will not leave. I was very uncomfortable with all of that conversation and moved to another bar stool (far away).

You have to direct yourself to your best spot. It may be The Villages or it may be where you currently live.

Our children actually encouraged us to move here. How does your son feel about the possible move? They believe we have worked and sacrificed for them and this should be our time. They are 6&1/2 hours away by car and we have a set phone time each week so we can catch up. As someone else said, one has already been here twice and we have only been here four months. If your wife is willing to put herself out there and meet people, she will be fine. I am rather shy, but find I am more willing to reach out here because everyone is so friendly. Ultimately only you and she can make the choice; have you considered renting long term to see how you like it on a more permanent basis? Good luck in your decision.

phoneman - perhaps a good way to think on this is for your wife to think about the two visits you have already made and evaluate the anxiety level she felt while away...and then make a third visit and evaluate how she feels when she thinks about makig the villages a permanent move rather knowing she is returning home to family and friends.

many folks here on totv have expressed those same feelings and will likely stop by to share those feelings. me, i am a free spirit and do not care for the feeling of being tied to anything - though i do enjoy building comfortable surroundings around me wherever i am...but my husband! sheesh! he enjoys an occassional trip away from the home base - but there is always that home base and we must return to it before too long!, thus, we are snowbirds having purchased a very modest home that is just right for 3-4 months of winter's snow and ice back home.

regardless of where we are - there is always time for family - if we don't call in to them, they call us! and we try to find time to visit who we can in person when we are in transit! it is a lifestyle that we looked forward to before retirement - and since retirement it is working out well. we have found a new comfort level - am sure you and your wife will find the one that's right for both of you.

I would not under normal circumstances make a decision to move anywhere based on family. Things change people move on grow up etc. A married couple have to assess what is likely to happen. for instance I know a couple who followed their child to virginia. the child didn't like virginia and so she left leaving the parents there.

Grandchildren grow up and move on and so forth. Essentially a couple has to decide what is more imortant to them.

Pleasedon't look at The Villages through rose colored glasses as it like most places also has its share of warts

Two things. I have read similar posts before and one of the good suggestions was to try a long-term rental first. It will give you both a chance to really immerse yourselves in TV and see how the situation with your family and friends works out.

We were in a similar situation as we have one son and he was living in Sarasota so it made our move easier as we would be closer in TV. Well, he now lives in Chicago. Would we move? No way. Regarding friends, we have made more friends here in 6 years than we had in 30 years in our previous location.

TV isn't for everyone, but I've met more very happy people here than unhappy.

Is your wife an introvert?
 

Our son's family moved to Winter Park so that made us easy to move here though we probably would have moved anyway finally. My wife had reservation so I waited patiently and it is true that our son's move clinched her mind. I would say that many wives have reservations more than the guys from personal observation. If your wife is a loner or introvert, TV may not be easy to live as too many are having such a great time. She has to be willing to meet people, join activities and basically be adventurous. Your old friends will come and stay for a visit. Consider yourself an innkeeper. If she can do that, all will be well.

We just moved here after buying A home and we had the same fears but we have met so many nice people. Everyone is in the same boat. Just spent 3 days with one son in Orlando and are talking about his next visit to TV. Then in two weeks we go visit the other son. Life is all about change. Change is fun and frightening, we had the same feelings you do but are just making the effort to make it all work. All the best to you.

How sad to read that. This is where the husband should be leaving his golfing for now and concentrate on his wife and her needs. BOTH of them should be going out together, getting involved with the daily activities and clubs that his wife can enjoy on her own, that is if he really values his marriage. Then and only then can both of them enjoy a singular activity and a joint venture.

I'd be pretty certain that their problems were leading toward divorce long before moving to TV.

Why file for divorce when one spouse could just go and spend a few weeks/months with relatives?? Maybe it was a more intimate "friend" that she left in Ohio.

I see lots of people from Ohio here whose relatives/friends LOVE to come here to see them because it's nice and sunny.

Hello:
Distance and time, two things that are difficult to live with, hard to part with.
I grew up with my father being the only family member that was far away from his family (12 hours by train + 8 by bus at that time). We loved our cousins so much I still remember spending the summer time every year with them. I did not understand why they lived so far apart.... Until I grew up and move to the States (I am from Brazil) and my sister to England, leaving our third sister behind. Now, I am in Virginia and soon will be in Florida. My children will stay (perhaps in a different place?). My parents already passed away and from my experience one sentence would express it all, perhaps it will help you: "Far from our eyes, yet so close to our heart, always". So no matter where we are, we can always keep our loved ones with us.

I take exception to "go spend a few weeks with relatives"! I woul love to visit with my sons and grandchildren but not bad enough to "spend a few days, much less weeks" with my daughters-in-law!

I have to agree with this post. There is something more to it than just "she stays home and he plays golf all day" As I have always said, there are FOUR sides to every story. YOURS..THEIRS..OTHERS INVOLVED..AND THE INNOCENT BYSTANDER SEEING IT ALL. Sounds to me this was in the works long before the move as said above.

our 30 year old son is coming for his first visit this fall.. :a040: he is renting his own golf cart.. he can't waite to see where we live