Missing the people that 'know' you
 

I'm sure that the way I'm feeling has a lot to do with this being the first Christmas away from family but I am wondering if others feel the way I do. I have met wonderful, fun, loving people since moving here but there is just something missing. Meeting new people is exciting and fun but it is just not the same as being around old friends that have been through life with you. Jumping into the car to run over to my brother's house for a quick cup of coffee or meeting up with a friend to just talk about everything and nothing..it takes a long while to build these relationships and I'm wondering if it will ever be that way here. Please excuse me if I sound morose, I just wanted to know if others experience this also.

Yes...and no! We have been away from our families for many years now, and worked for a company that required your presence thru Christmas..dead or alive...haha!! I do, however, miss our "adopted" family (friends) where we lived previously. I am trying to be careful, tho, to not start any traditions with "newbies" we may not be comfortable with in the coming years. So...that being said, we are planning to play with our new friends and neighbors thru the holidays, but keep the holiday for ourselves...this year! We have already experienced getting "too" close with some people, that come to find out, we just really don't mesh with for the long haul. It is definitely a learning experience, and new, and there's nothing like "old" friends, true. You will get thru the holidays and next year may be more settled for you. You don't sound morose at all... :)

I'm feeling groovy.
Made more friends that care about each other in 8 months than I left behind. Ones from there that love me come visit and so do family. Love my church relationships in bud and the promise of genuine, mutual support.

I am careful about winter doldrums, as the sun's light is very important. Get some every day in the morning if you can...everybody...:-)

I suggest starting an activity that you see as your own, a tradition or ritual. These will become the source of comfort to you in future years as you build TV as your home. The ritual is your choice as are the people who you ask to join you. Could be something as simple as driving around TV looking at home decorations, Christmas caroling, visiting a nursing home, followed by a get-together at your home. Certain foods or drinks can enhance the ritual (eggnog, hot cider, ???). The guest list can be 2 persons or 100 persons. Make it yours. Don't copy one from your old home.

Truly, nothing can replace our old friends with whom we shared childhood, teenaged, young adulthood, married life, raising children, sharing the births of grandchildren, the bonds that survive everything, including losing our own parents or spouses.


In our neighborhood of these past 40 + years we have all shared the bond of grieving when those once young friends passed on........we all surrounded the family with love, with care packages of food and just "being there"........ just as we did when we were all young, having our first babies, our second ones and so forth.......nothing can replace those bonds. We all had many things in common. Sincere feelings.....happy for their grown children when they graduated high school and we were invited; ditto for college commencement, etc. Understanding how they felt when all of our college educated "kids" relocated halfway across the country and world...........an entire new life began. We all understood.


It's nice to meet new folks, but nothing can happen instantly to replace the friendships of a lifetime. The bonds of old friendships live on.


It takes a lifetime of living to forge those bonds........but keep an open heart as one never knows when a "new friend" might appear on the scene. Not everyone is compatible for the long haul. The ones who are authentic and "real", compassionate and sensitive, genuine and accepting, will appear and you will be drawn to them as if to a magnet.


Friendships cannot be forced. Certain types are drawn together for the long haul.


Everyone remembers their first jobs when someone you thought was your friend was really your adversary on the career front; perhaps going behind your back to the boss or higher up. Perhaps you shared too much with that new friend, being too trusting. Live and learn.


I always tell my younger friends: "Marry your best friend"........


*****************************


"Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other's gold."


"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."


"You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your friends."


"A true friend laughs at your stories even when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your troubles even when they're not so bad."


"The heart that truly loves, never forgets."


"It is prosperity that gives us friends, adversity that proves them."


"True friends are the ones who never leave your heart, even if they leave your life for awhile. Even after years apart, you pick up with them right where you left off, and even if they die they're never dead in your heart."


"A friend is a hand that is always holding yours, no matter how close or far apart you may be. A friend is someone who is always there and will always , always care. a friend is a feeling of forever in the heart."


"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked."


"True friendship isn't about being there when it's convenient; it's about being there when it is not."


"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart."


　

YES. I do understand.


It takes a while to really get comfortable, even if every thing just fits right with new people. I have had some sad things happen when I leaped into close friendship too quickly here and hurt other people and got hurt too.


Slow and steady wins the race and builds relationships and friendships and there is nothing quite like someone that you have known for a LONG time and who "gets" you and who overlooks the dumb stuff you say and don't mean.."that way". There is something to be said for the similarities in background, even ethnicities and religion that sometimes makes a comfortable fit, even though the religion isn't a BIG factor to me and many of my dear friends don't "go to church" anymore. AND we don't either... It is just a comfortable background sometimes. Just as similar political views sometimes make things more comfortable. It shouldn't but it does.


We are many of us new here and hoping for acceptance and comfort from others but we need to not get our feelings hurt or disappoint others by expecting too much too soon.


I am hoping and wishing that you will ALL soon find the right folks to be relaxed with and maybe SOME old friends will move here to make the pudding sweeter.


On the 23rd of this month we will have three couples at our table; one we have known for less than two years, one who gave us the Kool-Aid, (sorry Redwitch and JHoolman) who we have known for thirty years and old friends who live in Stonecrest who we have known since before our Helene was born more than forty years now. They all are loved and we feel so comfortable with them.


I wish you like blessings, all of you and especially my dear Trish Crocker. AND I miss the folks I don't see as often and with whom there have been missteps.. I/ we still love you and you are always, always welcome.

Beautiful Senior. I want to be more like you.

That's a great idea!

and one of my favorites: "A friend is some who knows all about you, and loves you just the same!"

I defintly understand
 

I am still very homesick for the people back home. It does help to go to the Cincinnati Club and meet with other people from Cincy; people who know what goetta is and how good it is, people who understand that Skyline is a Cincinnati chili like no other :mmmm:, people who are extremely conscious not to hurt someones feeling on purpose, and people who know that the chocolate chips in Graeters ice cream can easily be 2 inches long and 1 inch wide.
I am getting ready to leave for home on Thursday and I can't wait !!!!!
:wave::pepper2::a040::MOJE_whot:

I completely agree with you Trish. This will be our first Christmas not spent in MA and I will totally miss my friends. I know I have luckily met some wonderful friends here which was really surprising to me after less than a year living here. We did put up a Christmas tree and outside lights this year which I love, we hadn't done that in years. Thanks for starting this tread Trish so I know I am not alone with my feelings.

Love you Salybow.

missing the people that you know
 

I understand just how you feel. This is a beautiful place but it is new to us and we miss the people we left back home. The holidays are the hardest. After 4 yrs. here it does get easier We skype with the grandchildren so they know us. After the holidays you will feel happier and remember NO SNOW. Merry Christmas and remember many of us feel like you at this time.

Yes, Trish I completely understand how you are feeling. It's hard to leave family and friends behind and I know next Christmas when we are in TV its going to be difficult not having loved ones near. All holidays will be melancholy for a while. I suspect after being there for a few years and we make new friends they will become like family for us both.

I think the person who suggested starting a new tradition is a wonderful ideal and perhaps its one you can try. Have a holiday party for your newly made friends. Maybe next year you & Doc can fly home to visit or perhaps some of your family can join you in TV.

Sorry to read you are sad, but it will pass soon and you can move on with your happy life in TV.

Eight inches of snow Saturday and 2 more expected tonight. Do I need to tell you how cold it is here? Nine months until we can live in our Collier home but we will be coming for a week in March or early April and I'll contact you before we arrive.

Thanks, Trish, for putting into words what I couldn't. I don't regret moving here, but do feel the tug of wanting to be with those more familiar. I consider it normal since I haven't been here long.