People are people regardless whether married or single.

Kate Rogers . . .
 

. . .Thank you for starting this thread.

As a single, I have had some of the same concerns as others. I am finally retiring at the end of June and will be able to use my villa and enjoy life in The Villages. I will be arriving for the winter season around the end of October-beginning of November time frame.

I wish I were going to be able to attend the get together being hosted by Kitty. I have been reading all the responses and everyone seems like the type of person I would like to know. I am not one to put myself "out there" but, I am going to force myself to do that in the fall. If someone plans a get-together in the fall (after I arrive), I hope I would be welcome to join the group.

It is nice to know that there are others who share the same concerns about being single and finding friends in the Villages.

And Kitty must give details of the potluck which is happening as I type for all of the out of towners!

Hi Katie
I just moved down permanently a month ago. I'm working PRN a few hours per month here after years of full-time work. So to fill my extra free time I plan to stay busy with the different exercise and line dance classes. Being single, you have to keep yourself motivated especially at first. Then I think meeting people and joining groups, they will keep you motivated. I noticed there are some single groups. I'm going to check those out. Plus, there are drive way parties around, too. There are so many things to do here, you have to decide and schedule. Having a dog helps out, too. They get you out. I've met so many people walking my Schnauzer Patrick. Looking forward to making close friends here at TV.

A virtual party! I could have skyped it but I don't know how!
the boxer, Emma, barked dutifully as each person came in. She never gave up and 19 barking episodes was a serious responsibility, but I was happy to see a larger crowd than I expected. For more info, I posted a separate thread Kitty's party.

Going forward
 

You're very welcome, but I must confess it was out of my own insecurities that prompted my initial post. What I have come to realize is that we all have doubts about making the move to TV. After all, who doesn't fear the unknown The reasons may vary, but, we all want to connect socially or we certainly wouldn't be moving to the Villages. What I can tell you is that if you're willing to put out your hand someone (actually many) will take it. Through these different threads I have come to know and make friends with so many. That is a phenomena that I never could have imagined.

And through parties like Kitty just had, friends you make online can become your new social circle. Others have already indicated they might be willing to host these get togethers in the future. Do I hear any volunteers for next month?

For some this is a more comfortable way to enter this new world than to walk into a singles group cold. Even if you've lived in TV for awhile, but haven't connected yet, hopefully others will pass the word that we exist.

Katie

aaah, good to see you Katie, your post and all the replies and readers made it clear that you and I are not the only ones trying to figure out what it's like to be in a subgroup of TV's fishbowl. I hope to be extra careful about dating if I decide to date, bc I've learned the hard way that one ex can poison your inner circle and your favorite hangouts.
Kitty

The Fishbowl Phenomena
 

I guess the 'FOR SINGLES ONLY ALLIANCE' has not caught on. Personally, I like it a lot better than calling us members of the SINGLES SUBGROUP, even though it looks like that's what we're becoming. Good for you on the dating philosophy. If it's any consolation, none of us is without some kind of dating baggage.

Katie.

I wasn't trying to name it...I wanted to describe that it's a fishbowl inside a fishbowl.
I have to be careful about cursing, dating, what I say...it's good for me. I am making an especial effort to be tolerant of other viewpoints, chill and shut up when my buttons are pushed, make friends with everyone possible, make interdependent alliances with a few, make sure the tag of my clothes isn't out (means you are available), or get help pulling the tag out,
:chilout:
don't hang around the bar at Katie Belle's...
and I don't know what I don't know, so please tell me!
Kitty

Whether it be in The Villages or Newport Beach where I currently reside dating within a community can certainly be problematic. If/when a relationship goes south which most dating relationships eventually do it is best to terminate them as pleasantly as possible. An amicable ending requires some form of closure and the cooperation of both parties. Unfortunately if when a relationships ends one partner is angry, bitter, vengeful or mentally just-not-right one's reputation can be at minimum blemished and at most destroyed.

When dating within a community proceed with caution!

Dating
 

Great advice! when I retire next year at the Villages, I will make sure
to date outside the community.

At the risk of sounding like a "negative nell", I think too much is being made of marital status. Singles can be friends with marrieds and marrieds can be friends with singles. What on earth is the big deal? Not all single women are cougars and not all single men are lounge lizards. Can't we all just get along ???

Diane,

Personally, I feel the same way you do, but then I'm coming from a recent divorce so paring up is the last thing on my mind. But, let's face it, it's human nature to couple.

I am going to put this out there for the men, in our fishbowl. A guy friend told me that men don't have single girl 'friends'. Or, at least, there is always some kind of sexual undertone, whether they feel they can act on it or not.

I may not be articulating his message exactly they way he expressed it, but you get the drift.

Kitty, that was supposed to be a joke - albeit, poorly executed- I would never think that, if we did give the group a name, that would be your choice.

Katie

Katie,
My sense of humor is whacky and whimsical. Fishbowlers? oh, even better Bowlfishers?!!:ho:

I'm sorry but I don't buy the idea that men can't be friends with women without sexual feelings. I've had guy friends - and no, they were not gay - who were good friends and we'd hang out and do things we both liked to do. Nothing wrong with watching a cable movie at each other's house with a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and just enjoying each other's company without it becoming a romp.

I agree they can be just friends. If there were no male/female friendships without sex, I doubt the phrase "friends with benefits" would have come into use.

Good one.

I have many female friends, both single and married, in whom I have never had the least bit of sexual or romantic interest. I count some of my best and closest friends among them.

...........

I didn't say he was bright. But, given that I haven't a clue what goes on in a man's mind, I am hardly in a position to speak for them. I'm glad to hear, from the men folk here that there is hope for us all.

Katie

..........

Nice to hear someone agree. We can all like and respect each other.

I think we all want the same thing. Doesn't have to be a romantic matchup just a good bud to hang with.

Kitty,

I read all the posts about that party. It was a great success. You got the FISHBOWLS off to a great start. Thank you again for volunteering. I hope the trend continues...

? Did I miss something?

A photo of The Crab Cooker, a great seafood restaurant - only not in TV and not related to this topic.

Ahhhh - thanks for the update. I thought I was losing it. LOL.

The Top 10 complaints by Men and Women
 

I ran across an old Cosmo that had an article I thought might be a great subject for this thread. It listed the top 10 complaints men have about women and women have about men. It was kind of an eye opener for me, at least where the men are concerned. So, it would be a kick to find out, if you think they got it right and what complaints do you think they missed.

MENS COMPLAINTS ABOUT WOMEN

- You like to play coy

- You fixate on what we're thinking

- You don't understand and/or like our need for alone time

- You have a complicated set of double standards

- You want us to change, and then lose respect for us when we do

- You see us as projects you can fix

- Your expectations are set by Hollywood

- You're always looking down the road

- You have a tendency to be critical

- You play hard to get

WOMENS COMPLAINTS ABOUT MEN

- You're all talk, no action

- You're dishonest about what you want

- You don't take the initiative or plan

- You don't listen

- You don't communicate, especially your feelings about anything

- You're not understanding enough

- You're not sensitive to feelings or needs

- Order and cleanliness are not that important

- You don't appreciate the efforts women make

- It's always about you

The one complaint I'd like an explanation for is this alleged set of complicated double standards we're supposed to have. What's that all about, gentlemen?

Katie

I can't stop loving "Bowlfishers" better than Fishbowl. I have a goofy sense of humor!

and the long story is I reposted it from the original poster with a question how it related to singles, he was chastised by admin and removed it, so I removed my question about his post as well.

It is obvious no research was done for this article. It is also obvious the author talked only one person to compile this list, my ex-wife.

Thanks for the laugh.

So Kate, give us an update....what's happening with you now re moving to TV?
Kitty
btw, this is an amazing thread...the best ones allow some rabbit trails but not too many.
Kitty

To set the record straight, I wasn't chastised by admin.

I deleted it after being chastised..by you.

My apologies again.

.

thanks, ontrack. glad to know how this stuff works, it isn't easy.
Kitty

Rabbit trails, fish bowl, blow fish what is that, some kind of chick code? If you got something on your shoe say it like it is, shoe-polish.

Ron! hey!
 

Your honor, :bowdown:
rabbit trails=posts off topic.
Fishbowl=singles life in TV
Bowlfishers=laughing at ourselves as singles in TV.

Respectfully, please make me laugh, I know you can do it!
Kitty

You forgot one...
Love bugs=the people that come to The Villages for the winter.

oh dear, to my dismay, I get it...intuitive and nutty...well there you are. We have that in common, Ron!

Not soon enough for me.
 

Kitty,

I'm aiming for September. It depends on whether I can find a 3/2 rental that doesn't require more blood than my body can still live on. Thanks for asking.

On another note...Is there a single male (or female for that matter) who can enlighten me as to what the "Complicated Double Standard" is that they are talking about, and we woman are supposedly guilty of? - As referred to in the Men's complaint list.

Also, here is your opportunity to list the ones that they missed.

Katie