Talk of The Villages Florida
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-   Singles (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/singles-124/)
-   -   what is your biggest concern about being alone? (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/singles-124/what-your-biggest-concern-about-being-alone-114565/)

angel222 05-14-2014 10:33 AM
It's taken me some time to realize that my fear of being taken to the hospital here without family around to be my advocates is really an empty fear....I have come to know I am very fortunate to have many people here in TV that would be with me until family could get here if it was necessary. There are many of us here without family nearby and I'm sure we will be there for each other. I've been a widow for ten years now and would love to meet a person who was really looking for someone to enjoy this beautiful place with but until then I am blessed with wonderful friends to laugh and share my life's journey. Human contact is so important as we go through life and in TV I think if you let someone know you need a hug, it will be there for you!

DianeM 05-14-2014 10:38 AM
I was not being nasty nor rude - just realistic. There are things you can control and things you just accept. Hence .... deal with what you are dealt.

As for hugs .... if I don't know you I don't want you to touch me. I hug those I love and care about not strangers.

gerryann 05-14-2014 11:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DianeM (Post 877589)
As for hugs .... if I don't know you I don't want you to touch me. I hug those I love and care about not strangers.
Well then that's a good thing if you don't need a hug. Someday your circumstance may change and you may feel the need for a hug....maybe even from a stranger. Evidently you have loved ones near by....some don't.

DougB 05-14-2014 12:09 PM
1 Attachment(s)
Group Hug

redwitch 05-14-2014 12:30 PM
I like my "aloneness." I love my friends but am rarely, if ever, lonely. I think I go could weeks without ever seeing another human and be just fine with that, but I do need my critters to pet and cuddle.

My biggest fear is that I won't be able to do for me. I don't want to be dependent on my daughter or friends. I'm used to being my advocate, as well as the advocate for some of my friends. I'm the problem solver and I really am afraid of the day that I can't solve my own problems.

chachacha 05-14-2014 12:32 PM
i remember once a priest telling the congregation to be sure to extend the sign of peace with a handshake especially to the elderly, as it might be the only human touch they receive all day! yes, lack of hugs would be difficult for most of us but hugs from friends can substitute for hugs from spouses when necessary. babies do not thrive unless they are held. sadly, due to fears of flu etc the sign of peace now is often just a nod but at least that is recognition from another human being that we exist :)

misky 05-14-2014 12:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by chachacha (Post 877404)
i have been pondering the various concerns associated with the single lifestyle and wonder what my friends and fellow posters consider both the most worrisome and on the other hand the most pleasant aspects of living alone. from my observation, i think most of us are quite content with our lives. someone posted a general discussion asking if residents were living their dream and it caused me to realize that my life is much happier than i ever thought it would be when i was younger. so what say you? do you have fears or do you have gratitude or do you have both?
i guess for me a big fear is to become ill or incapacitated and have to go through it alone, but on the other hand i know my closest friends would do all they could to help me as i would for them. the biggest fear is not to have a partner in life on whom to lavish all the love i would like to give. ON THE OTHER HAND my biggest sigh of gratitude is that i can do what i want, eat what i want, watch what i want, when i want, stay in my pj's all day if i want, and i guess that is a bit selfish but so be it. :)
Cha,

I think most people, whether they admit it or not, would like a significant other. However, I've seen plenty of people who go from one marriage/relationship to another and never seem happy. Is that better than being alone? Not for me. With all of the people I know and with all of the things to do in TV, I never feel lonely. The significant other will come in the right time. Gotta go-time to do stuff!

Pointer 05-14-2014 05:14 PM
I think human touch is very important. I was always hugging my children's friends and especially as teenagers. They'd pretend they don't want it but just try to not give it and they are right there waiting. Grandma's were always good for a hug. Now that i"m a grandma I can give official grandma hugs to go along with the mother ones.

In awe of TV 05-14-2014 05:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kittygilchrist (Post 877453)
;)It's better to be alone than to wish you were....
So darn true! I spent half my life wishing I was single.

I love being single, however, this week I've been having some health issues and was wondering how I would handle a drive to the ER if I had to.

Otherwise, why couldn't you do what you want to do, eat what you want, and stay in your pj's all day, when there IS someone special in your life? That's exactly what I would want in a SO!

Maybe someday . . .

Villageshooter 05-14-2014 07:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DianeM (Post 877524)
Life is what it is. Deal with it.
why wuld u say that? sure we all deal with it , however it sure is nice to wake up to have someone u really love ,,, and that person also care and love you to share a life with, i am not saying it is always Rosie, all in all a person is blessed to have this in our lives , i respect the person who chooses the alternative of all this. however i would never, poke at a person for there decision!

DianeM 05-14-2014 08:01 PM
I'm not poking at anyone. Just being a realist. It is what it is.

When the time comes for illness to befall me - and yes, it comes to all - I hope I have the good graces to just go out with dignity. Why prolong what's meant to be.

pivo 05-14-2014 09:00 PM
I'm coming down next month I just bought, and I want as many
hugs and kisses I can get, it does make you feel young and great.

mixsonci 05-15-2014 03:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Love2cruise (Post 877520)
Mixsonci, Just keep In mind when you move to TV you will be making so many friends here. People look out for one another, and unless you are a recluse you won't end up like your aunt.
that's what I'm counting on and why I think TV will be great:laugh:

mixsonci 05-15-2014 03:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tippyclubb (Post 877544)
Oh that's a real caring and understanding response, and rude too. Why bother saying anything if you can't be nice.
Agree totally. How Rude.
I'm not complaining simply stating a fact in answer to the original question "what bothers you most", basically, I'm happy with my life and have no complaints, I get to travel the world (on the government's dime) but EVERYONE has concerns about something.
Be NICE people

KathieI 05-15-2014 03:24 AM
I moved here 6 years ago as a single woman after having been married for 30 years. I don't have any children so its just me. There are times when I have felt slightly lonely, not often because of all the great friends I have here. I don't have any family close by but I consider my friends, my family. I love being single and doing the things I like to do without answering to anyone. Two years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and all those wonderful friends came to my rescue. They were all here for me and actually had a list of caregivers to look after me while in recovery. I could not have asked for more!!!

I love hugging friends when I meet up with them, its very important for me to show how much I value their friendship. As far as the future, it is only in God's hands, but if I were to have some major illness, I would hope that I have set up the proper plan for my care whether it be in Assisted Living or whatever.

To Mixsonci and others, you will be able to develop a large group of friends here, if you so desire, who will be there for you to take you to the ER, call you everyday to make sure your okay, and drive you to doctors appts when they need you to have a ride home. This is all with friends who I have met here in TV. I feel I am truly blessed with wonderful friends and so far, this is exactly why I moved here.

Now, let's move on to a happier subject, lol.


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