Quote:
Originally Posted by Boomer
(Post 1904434)
:):ho:For the past several days, I have watched TOTV descend into a maelstrom, and I am starting to have no hope for the forum that has been a part of many of my mornings since 2007. I am in the habit of giving the opening page a scroll and posting, if finding a topic I want to be a part of.
I am not big on the number of posts. In fact, when I was nearing 100 posts, all those years ago, I sent a PM to Mr. Tony, the owner and admin, asking him to please delete some of them. I laugh about that now, but then, I was blushing to think how habit-forming TOTV was becoming for me.
Now, almost 14 years later, I have barely passed 4000 posts, and I admit, I also find that number to be a bit embarrassing because it represents time I could have used cleaning off my desk. But I have been holding onto the excuse that I write posts like some people crochet or do puzzles -- a hobby.
Like so many of you, I found TOTV when I was looking for anecdotal information about life in TV. I could find advertising, but that was it. A tenacious search led me to TOTV when it was in its infancy. In those days, we had some ups and downs, but the overall tone was helpful -- and often, just plain fun.
I know TOTV has changed owners since, possibly more than once. TOTV sold for the first time in 2011. I am completely serious when I say that had I known in time, I might have bought it. (I could envision possible tax write-offs -- along with maybe using my energy to sell ads from my office-in-the-home or by driving around in my white Honda with the Florida plates to corner the ad market. (I spent 35 years pitching literature so I must have been thinking maybe my experience could have been transferable. sigh)
We eventually bought a house in Hadley. But had my original impression of TV been the one now often put forth on TOTV, I never would have wanted to buy. We kept our Ohio house. Thank goodness.
I have debated about whether to write this because I am to the "what's the point" stage. There are probably those among us who, like me, have noticed that we have lost a lot of our posters who had been contributing helpful posts and fun, too, for a long time. (I think they must be smarter than me because I have been continuing to hang around.)
The overall tone of TOTV this past week has been over-the-top with ugly stuff. Although I do not personally know most of you, I have been horrified to see the deluge of hatred, the bigotry, the complete arrogance -- including the irony of the name-calling that one name-caller, in particular, would see as elitist -- if someone disagreeing would say the same things. I have seen the self-righteous flaunting of a version of "religion" twisted into having nothing to with kindness, mercy, love, and peace. (Remember that guy Jesus?)
I saw a thread, since closed, that brought homophobia to the surface with certain posters -- some of whom surprised me. As a longtime secondary teacher, I have wept for students who have committed suicide because of feeling their homosexuality could never be accepted by their families. I am grateful to see how times have changed for so many people. That has saved, and will continue to save, lives.
This morning -- in the email notice sent out to us a few times a week from TOTV -- there were at least 3 threads headlined that were destined to invite more ugly stuff. I had to wonder if those choices were made by an algorithm or were those kinds of threads chosen on purpose by an actual person -- for a numbers game.
As I end this saga, if you are still reading, may I suggest that you read "Declaration of Conscience" -- a classic speech given by Margaret Chase Smith on June 1, 1950, which she ends by calling out "The Four Horsemen of Calumny -- Fear, Ignorance, Bigotry, and Smear."
Boomer
PS: I am not kidding myself that anyone will actually do that homework assignment I just gave -- or even kidding myself that this thread will last -- or kidding myself that anybody is still reading this -- but I just had to say my piece -- or was it peace?
PPS: I don't know how that hat-tipping emoji ended up at the beginning of this post. I can't make it go away. I don't know how. So I guess I will just have to consider my hat -- and my hand -- tipped.
PPPS: Damn. And now a smiley face emoji has appeared out of nowhere. I must be bumping stuff because I am on my laptop. Believe you me, I am not smiling right now -- although I do feel better.
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To begin, people do seem to feel comfort from confirmation and agreement of their beliefs and emotions by others, so I am in complete agreement with you. One of the "originals", I had no idea TOTV changed "owners", or even the structure of the "business'.
As I remember, shortly after our home was finished, many of us received invitations in the mail to attend a meeting of sorts at a restaurant similar to panera's but another name, located in the same plaza as Publix on 466 (Mexican restaurant now in the same location). Seems a community bulletin board social media page was being formed, and yes, as it evolved, what a wonderful communication tool for those of us who had just built new homes in the "new' villages of Tall Trees, Bonnybrook, Ashland, Lynnhaven, etc. and were anxiously awaiting "news' on the land designated to become Lake Sumter Landing !
We used this on line "life line', to get the news of the villages, and by "news", what buildings under construction might be ? Which restaurants were coming ?, has anyone been able to get close enough to see what was going on at the "yet to be" Lake Sumter Landing ?
Facebook was not the rage then, and the vile, nasty, underbelly of this tech communication "revolution" had not yet exploded, so TOTV's was fun, novel, delightful way to meet others, find new friends, form golf groups, get acquainted. The change in tone and temper was very gradual, and frankly, engaging in the beginning. Added to friendly posts such as " caution when using the gate into _____, seems it was hit by a car last night and is not working", or, yes, Comcast is out in our village too, seems a cable was hit during all the new construction". But as time went on, and the area became established, controversial topics began to appear and were, frankly, a welcome addition.
Far from the vile name calling and self righteous, narrow view, stances so often found today (as you pointed out), the discussion was lively and most of all, was great for we retirees who may not have the opportunity to discuss and debate deeper, more intellectual topics such as government, economics, international politics, and many others as we may have had in our former career environments. View points were far more respectful, and I for one learned from and was fascinated to see the thoughts, opinions, and beliefs of others communicated in a generally cogent manner.
But things did disintegrate, again as you pointed out, and life was more interesting than reading online drivel from ''some" who were obviously fighting to preserve their own sense of importance, and others who seemed to delight in being the on line "expert" in a variety of subjects, and yet others, seemed to be greatly entertained by sitting back and "watching" this "on line-circus" .
Still, other very kind, helpful, individuals, who seemed to have a variety of skills, continued to help all of us out with things like: sprinkler system is not coming on as scheduled, any suggestions on what to check, or anyone have some good tips on repairing lanai screens ?
But as Facebook rose in popularity, and we were too engaged in sports and hobbies to really get into the "social media" craze, TOTV's became a rare part of our routine and gradually tapered to no activity. It was the isolation of Covid, and the wildly diverse "facts' flying of what was really happening IN the villages, at the Villages hospital, and the lack of information in our only "news' paper (?), that I migrated back to TOTV's for information and even communication, discussion. For a period, even people in our own immediate neighborhood were no longer outside, not out watering flowers, or raking leaves, no longer just neighbors out, chatting on drives and lawns, more like a strange science fiction like atmosphere where, if you approached your mailbox, others with gloves, masks, and even plastic shields on some, backed away and sat on their golf carts or in their cars until the neighbor they formerly exchanged cookies or banana bread with, or borrowed the proverbial cup of sugar from, left the mail station. Covid changed everything, including the human kindness of one community member to another. And on line, with the anonymity it provides, very ugly things began to happen. No more understanding and RESPECT for those who do not think exactly like themselves.
One wrote a wish for someone to actually DIE for the "sin" of taking the wife for a nice anniversary dinner INSIDE a restaurant. Actually wished death by saying "glad to enjoyed the dinner, did you get a side of Covid with that too" ! ! ! WHAT kind of deep, dark, vile hate could prompt someone to go to a computer, go to the trouble to turning it on, logging in, etc. to write such an awful thing ?
I could not forget that, I asked my self for weeks, does that come from FEAR from the write who actually is living in fear for their own life ? Does it come from jealousy from a person who WISHED they had the "courage" to go out for a nice anniversary dinner, but is so fearful that it would end in death, they have to mock others in an attempt to validate their own irrational fears (irrational if they were taking the proper precautions of of course), but even so, why not allow others the dignity of "so happy to see your post of a normal, heart warming activity like an anniversary dinner, in these grim times." But no, hate, trying to make a husband feel he was trying to kill his wife by taking her for a special dinner, etc. Just the worst of human words and behavior to fellow humans !
In closing, your engaging post did get me to read ALL the way to the end, and yes, I AM very familiar with Margaret C. Smith's iconic speech so you are not alone, and not alone in noting the history and changes in what is still a great way to share tips, experiences and news of the community, but also have become the mainstay of what may be some very sick, or fearful, or emotionally needy people. My adult children are, of course, FB regulars, yet understand my lack of interest in spending my TIME on FB when I could be reading one of the stack of new books waiting for me, or playing golf or bocce, but when I related that I had, after YEARS of no longer reading TOTV's, taken up once again the habit of coffee and the social bulletin board in the mornings !
