Talk of The Villages Florida - The Tone of TOTV and A Bit of Boomer's Bio

Talk of The Villages Florida (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/)

- The Villages, Florida, General Discussion (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/)

- - The Tone of TOTV and A Bit of Boomer's Bio (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/tone-totv-bit-boomers-bio-316483/)

I am brand new to the villages I haven’t even moved in yet and I was looking at this website for direction when I read those homophobic remarks the other day I wondered if I had made a mistake I commented because I struggle letting such ignorance lie i’m not gay but many of my loved ones are and I found those comments reprehensible especially in the name of God thank you for your post and sorry teacher I talk text and there’s no punctuation here :-)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Choro&Swing (Post 1904558)

I don’t like to see Fear, Ignorance, Hatred of the Other, and Bigotry here, either. I thought the moderators did a great job of stopping political posts that turned that direction during the recent campaign.

On another note, I see that in 14 years of reading ToTV, you have THANKED someone with a THUMBS UP only ONE TIME! That shows an astonishing lack of gratitude in your attitude (grinning). Do you like almost nothing you read here? Is almost nothng helpful? And yet you have commented over 4,100 times and been thanked hundreds of times.

I know Boomer will respond when able, but on her behalf, she posted on here a few times her reason for not using the likes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Topspinmo (Post 1904480)

IMO FB is not the site to blabbing on especially politic’s, somebody watching, saving, and selling personal information. I never blab about politics, pass on anything. That’s how you get hacked. Plus I don’t let the world into my FB page, another way to get hacked along with all you’re friends sending friend requests to them which not you requesting cause you’re already friends. Another thing, once you post on FB it’s out there for ever, so IMO word of caution?

Why don’t people understand that this is a public forum anyone in the world can read these posts without even having to log on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bucco (Post 1904602)

Mixed bag here.

I will always call out liars, and try to keep discussion based on facts.

A discussion based on lies is not a discussion, it is an attempted stop to a discussion.

Treating folks with respect is certainly a must, but I believe when you offer lies to people, you cannot have any respect for them or anyone for that matter. When you are lied to, either directly or enabling, do you not feel disrespected ?

If someone is only exposed to one position on an issue, and that point is reinforced over and over, they will believe it to be the truth. debate and discussion, will change their point of view if they are willing to listen and consider.
I know I am always right (LOL)but I HAVE changed my position when confronted respectfully with an opposite point of view and convinced with fact and reason.
I am discounting the group who knowingly lie and unwilling to respectfully listen. They don't deserve my attention.
You will notice I use the word respectfully a lot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bucco (Post 1904491)

For whatever, you made a wise decision.

I have been a nuisance on this subject, but so much “news” is simply junk, out of context, or flat out lies.

The pressure, and insanity living under lies is just plain harmful, to our mental and physical health.

Hearing people say...that’s the way it is.....is intolerable. Holding people responsible on forums for lies and misinformation is not simply the job of the moderators.

Our society has been placed under a lot of pressure. I think we sumo,y demand truth, and call out lying

I don't get people getting news on FB. I never get news on FB. Ever since I joined FB, maybe about 10 years ago, it's been easy to weed out (unfollow) the political junkies (no matter their bent). I get sponsored advertisements for items (and can weed them out too), but never news. It's just a way to keep up with my friends from afar. I don't want it to be about politics, and it has been easy to keep it that way.

As for TOTV and Next Door, you can block people you don't like, and their posts won't be thrown in your face. I like public forums and refuse to let the nasties run me off.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CFrance (Post 1904620)

I agree I have a very short list of friends on FB and if they start to get political I unfollow them.

On this forum I find bits of information that are helpful to me and make me think. For example the quote by Thomas Jefferson that goes something like this “I have never found that a difference of opinion on religion, philosophy, or politics to be a reason to pull away from a friend”. Great words. So when I see some of these topics where there are vast differences of opinion I try to understand where that person is coming from and for what reason. Granted, some comments are over the top, but that is life in general and I do not let them bother me because in general many of the comments are informative even if I do not agree with them. So yes, some of the topics can be eye opening but I find them far more interesting than “who has the best pizza in The Villages for the fifteenth time. I think a little open debate is healthy because isn’t this what our country was built on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boomer (Post 1904434)

For the past several days, I have watched TOTV descend into a maelstrom, and I am starting to have no hope for the forum that has been a part of many of my mornings since 2007. I am in the habit of giving the opening page a scroll and posting, if finding a topic I want to be a part of.

I am not big..........

Boomer,
Thanks for helping me reflect on how I spend the valuable time I have left on this beautiful planet!

You are quite critical of TOTV. Interesting perspective. Being a relative newbie, mine is the opposite. I think people in general are kind, creative and thoughtful. It made me think of developing criteria for the few platforms I use: FB, TOTV, Quora, Nextdoor and a couple of medical sites (esp Prevmed), and a few financial forums (esp Bogleheads) .

Some of the criteria might include:
- Strong political venting (vs politically restrained)
- Poster's who need to be heard, regardless of content quality (vs posters who think about relevance to those using the forum and make well thought out comments or initiate interesting topics)
- Trollers looking for trouble (vs neutral posters & peacemakers)
- Rudeness (vs politeness)
- Contributors (vs takers)

In balance, I believe TOTV continues to rank well. It's all about your reference point I guess.

Some personal controversial views just to spice things up:

FB - scary to see this has evolved into an extension of people's lives. 4 billion members being monitored and biased by a liberal, snot nosed kid (Zuckerberg) without regulations. Many of those people should really be creating their own window to the world!

Nextdoor - Interesting, but loose monitoring allows political tirades, moronic posts, and troublemakers.

Quora and medical forums - Great forum for geeks. No traction for inane posts or fight mongers.

Financial forums - Many are useful, but often "penetrated" by brokers and "financial advisors."

TOTV - Entertaining and often great topics. Educated and reasoned commentary. Some very helpful individuals. I try not to "take more than I give." I am interested in maybe 20% of the new topics and ignore the rest. The chosen topics are usually helpful and sometimes expand horizons.

Boomer, again, thanks for posting and triggering some reflections of my own. I hope you remain engaged. You're a good writer!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by fcgiii (Post 1904605)

Boomer,

We are preparing to move to TV next month, stay in a rental until we find our forever home.

I have not noticed as much hatred on TOTV as you have. Maybe it's because living here in the rim of DC we get this sort of thing on TV all the time.

Your suggestion to read Margeret Chase Smith's "Declaration of Conscience" is a good one, and there is a good study guide that pops up when you Google. The analogy to the era of Mccarthyism is imperfect, but there are a lot of similarities between the persecution of people accused of being communists and those today accused of being White Supremecists. Both have rich backers and compliant media.

I don't read TOTV for the politics. I read it to get info on how life is down there where it is warm (most of the time) and we will have a lot to do. In that it has been quite useful, even though a lot of the activities we look for seem to be dormant until the panic dies away.

My two cents worth. Now back to clearing out a house we have lived in for 36 years.

I do so hope you will enjoy living here in The Villages like we have.

I am on Facebook and I have quite a bunch of folks that are considered friends on Facebook. The truth is that many are people I have never met in person. Many belong to a group of Williams Syndrome Parents and many are Villagers that I read on Facebook and hope to meet but this year has kept meeting new people at a stand still.

I think that we have faced a lot this year, this whole planet, and I think we may have had some good self realizations too.

I am not sure about Boomer's theory. Or any theory. I hope that knowledge continues to expand and we as people can handle the fact that maybe we are born with a fairly fixed personality, attributes and deficiencies attached. I think in the future, scientists will be able to perceive how we can best deal with the I.Q. or lack of it we are born with, along with our physical abilities or lack of them and even something like having a brain useful for getting a national job done well in many areas and still having difficulty with being self centered and almost addictive to praise. I wish I could live another twenty years to see if we are allowed to talk about it if we have whole groups of people who as well as having a particular gene that makes them more vulnerable to some illnesses, may have a gene that makes it easier or harder to be successful in this world. That seems so difficult for many to ponder.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nick demis (Post 1904619)

Not a problem with OPINIONS on an issue.

My problem is when accusTory statements that are made up, or downright telling lies is involved.

I understand nuances, and respect opinions.

I can't tolerate outright lying or enabling of liars, for whatever reason.

That is what is missing......you cannot discuss issues, and respect differing opinions, if one person just makes things up.

My thanks to you ...well said. I do not subscribe or look at News of the Villages as it smears, demeans and exposes people at their lowest. I pray this forum will never stoop to that trash.

Have a happy, albeit wet, day.

And I am tipping my hat to you, Boomer.

Yes -- I read it all!

I applaud your post. I, too, have been dismayed at the tone of the forum evolving over the years. I really stopped participating much when I posted for advice and the snarky responses began. I find it very annoying that when people post a question, instead of getting helpful advice, they get chastised in some way. there may be several responses but none answering the poster's question. some of the posts from one particular person, who is obviously well educated drip with sarcasm and condescension, as a rule.

As such, each morning I glance at the topics but try not to get involved. (I'm not always successful, but I come to regret it due to the responses I get. I hit "mark posts read" and look at the classifies.

I use the forum now as a reference for service recommendations which I get by using the search engine.

I'm sure there will be many replies along the lines of "if you don't like it here, go back where you came" which is a standard refrain when anyone tries to ask for some civility.

Good analogy of the comments we endure that show no compassion for one another or respect for others opinions . It is very disturbing. Thanks for sharing what
I can only guess many others feel the same way . You have to wonder about certain people and what their lives are truly like to live .
We do have the power to pray for them .

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boomer (Post 1904434)

:):ho:For the past several days, I have watched TOTV descend into a maelstrom, and I am starting to have no hope for the forum that has been a part of many of my mornings since 2007. I am in the habit of giving the opening page a scroll and posting, if finding a topic I want to be a part of.

I am not big on the number of posts. In fact, when I was nearing 100 posts, all those years ago, I sent a PM to Mr. Tony, the owner and admin, asking him to please delete some of them. I laugh about that now, but then, I was blushing to think how habit-forming TOTV was becoming for me.

Now, almost 14 years later, I have barely passed 4000 posts, and I admit, I also find that number to be a bit embarrassing because it represents time I could have used cleaning off my desk. But I have been holding onto the excuse that I write posts like some people crochet or do puzzles -- a hobby.

Like so many of you, I found TOTV when I was looking for anecdotal information about life in TV. I could find advertising, but that was it. A tenacious search led me to TOTV when it was in its infancy. In those days, we had some ups and downs, but the overall tone was helpful -- and often, just plain fun.

I know TOTV has changed owners since, possibly more than once. TOTV sold for the first time in 2011. I am completely serious when I say that had I known in time, I might have bought it. (I could envision possible tax write-offs -- along with maybe using my energy to sell ads from my office-in-the-home or by driving around in my white Honda with the Florida plates to corner the ad market. (I spent 35 years pitching literature so I must have been thinking maybe my experience could have been transferable. sigh)

We eventually bought a house in Hadley. But had my original impression of TV been the one now often put forth on TOTV, I never would have wanted to buy. We kept our Ohio house. Thank goodness.

I have debated about whether to write this because I am to the "what's the point" stage. There are probably those among us who, like me, have noticed that we have lost a lot of our posters who had been contributing helpful posts and fun, too, for a long time. (I think they must be smarter than me because I have been continuing to hang around.)

The overall tone of TOTV this past week has been over-the-top with ugly stuff. Although I do not personally know most of you, I have been horrified to see the deluge of hatred, the bigotry, the complete arrogance -- including the irony of the name-calling that one name-caller, in particular, would see as elitist -- if someone disagreeing would say the same things. I have seen the self-righteous flaunting of a version of "religion" twisted into having nothing to with kindness, mercy, love, and peace. (Remember that guy Jesus?)

I saw a thread, since closed, that brought homophobia to the surface with certain posters -- some of whom surprised me. As a longtime secondary teacher, I have wept for students who have committed suicide because of feeling their homosexuality could never be accepted by their families. I am grateful to see how times have changed for so many people. That has saved, and will continue to save, lives.

This morning -- in the email notice sent out to us a few times a week from TOTV -- there were at least 3 threads headlined that were destined to invite more ugly stuff. I had to wonder if those choices were made by an algorithm or were those kinds of threads chosen on purpose by an actual person -- for a numbers game.

As I end this saga, if you are still reading, may I suggest that you read "Declaration of Conscience" -- a classic speech given by Margaret Chase Smith on June 1, 1950, which she ends by calling out "The Four Horsemen of Calumny -- Fear, Ignorance, Bigotry, and Smear."

Boomer

PS: I am not kidding myself that anyone will actually do that homework assignment I just gave -- or even kidding myself that this thread will last -- or kidding myself that anybody is still reading this -- but I just had to say my piece -- or was it peace?

PPS: I don't know how that hat-tipping emoji ended up at the beginning of this post. I can't make it go away. I don't know how. So I guess I will just have to consider my hat -- and my hand -- tipped.

PPPS: Damn. And now a smiley face emoji has appeared out of nowhere. I must be bumping stuff because I am on my laptop. Believe you me, I am not smiling right now -- although I do feel better.

Sadly far too many people think the world revolves around them.
The first amendment, the most important of the first ten, the bill of rights, does not say
freedom of speech, right assemble and no state religion-only if you agree with me.